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RTE STORYLAND 2 Promos

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  • 02-11-2009 11:14pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36


    Here's the preview episode for our storyland 2 entry - Bugbusters.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQVLhFsPoXc
    A weapons raid gone wrong leads to the escape of a lethal and vicious Flyman (a part fly/part man phenomenon) who wastes no time finding it's first kill.
    Victims of the Flyman quickly become Flymen themselves, and so Cork city is soon riddled with these monsters. With both the Gardai and Army curiously occupied, the Mayor of Cork reluctantly hires The Bugbusters (an incredibly extreme quartet of exterminators) to deal with the problem before the Flymen carry out their plan to seize control of the region's entire supply of sugar.
    Armed with their gung-ho attitude, fantastic outfits and heavy artillery, The Bugbusters clamp down on the presence of Flymen in Cork.
    However, a failed attempt to capture the original and most dangerous Flyman results in the Mayor taking them off the case, much to his delight.
    Down and despondant, The Bugbusters are soon reminded of their place in society and that what they do best is killing bugs. Now as renegade vigilantes, the Bugbusters hatch a plan to lure the Flyman in and finish him off once and for all.


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    wasnt the deadline only closed last night?

    Though the guy with the sniper rifle does look like sparky...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Yep. Submitted ours at 11.45 Sunday night! :):)

    What do you think?


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,481 ✭✭✭projectmayhem


    Yep. Submitted ours at 11.45 Sunday night! :):)

    What do you think?

    Judging by other entrants I think that was the general time people submitted. A lot of 11.59 entries, I imagine.

    Anyway, nice preview. Obviously if it gets through the production will undoubtedly change etc., but the writing was spot on. Hammy acting was perfectly suited, and the timing was great.

    I just hope it stands up to 7 minutes of film... but so far it seems great.

    Good luck during the pitching session! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    I just showed it to my girlfriend didn't tell her what it was about just wanted to see her reaction. She hated it, thought it was amateurish and the people responsible had wasted their time. When i told her it was an entry into the storyland comp she replied "well it wont win" luckily my girlfriend doesn't sit on the judging panel isn't it? although she would fit the target audience that rte are looking for.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Fair enough...it's not for everyone. May I point out that if she thinks it's amateurish because of the scarecrow, the fake hand, the dubbing...that was intentionally amateurish. And if she doesn't get it than the comedy is not for her. :) And what did you think of it John?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    Ive shown here your post and she is very offended as she reckons she has a very good grasp of comedy and would be a fan of lots of the stuff you reference in your piece, gostbusters, kung fu films, david cronenberg she just didnt think that it would attracted a big enough or wide enough audience to win. thats only her opinion i guess the only opinion that matters is the people deciding which projects get selected


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Why is she getting offended? I respect her opinion. All I said was the comedy was not for her. I don't find a lot of comedies funny either. That's fair enough, but a lot of people have found it funny so far. But as you said...it's up to the judges next, then the people(fingers crossed afterwards). Now once again...you're the man into film...what did you think of it?

    Also our influences were more along the lines of Anchorman, South Park, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Father Ted and of course Ghostbusters(but not so much for the comedy style). Never heard of David Cronenberg.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    I dont know really, im always wary of stuff that sets out to be bad. i think its cheating


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Cheating? I don't know what you mean at all. The purposely bad special effects are a comedy technique. Watch Garth Marenghi's Darkplace or even Monty Python to see what I mean. It would not be funny if they were perfect cg effects. They set out to be bad...this makes it funny...to some people that is. :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnob1BOf7Y0


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    Yep. Submitted ours at 11.45 Sunday night! :):)

    What do you think?

    Mostly a meh from me, some bits where good (the kung fu giving the evil eye cause he has no gun.) and while the amataurish look is intentional, the poor editing works against it. If a piece is made to look amataurish the pacing needs to be really good to make the humour, here its a mixed bag, the opening joke with the girl being approached with what is assumed to be a thug didnt work cause the pace was too fast. The bugbusters intro was well paced enough, but the shooting sequence could have been alot tighter. But when you get into the chase it gets a bit tighter again and works.

    In the end my main concern would be the same as projectmayham's would it stand up to a 7 minute slot over six episodes?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    I'm aware of both python and garth marenghi's darkplace, in fact i would go as far as to say I'm a fan. i think that you are confusing amateurish with low budget. python works because it was well written and didn't allow itself to be restricted by the fact that they had no cash. they chose inventive ways of telling the story/gags and never set out to make it look meh.

    i just worried that your particular idea wont stretch to 6 episodes as all the gags where used in this promo, also the pace of editing is all wrong and it left me wanting

    Cheating? I don't know what you mean at all. The purposely bad special effects are a comedy technique. Watch Garth Marenghi's Darkplace or even Monty Python to see what I mean. It would not be funny if they were perfect cg effects. They set out to be bad...this makes it funny...to some people that is. :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnob1BOf7Y0


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    BlitzKrieg wrote: »
    Mostly a meh from me, some bits where good (the kung fu giving the evil eye cause he has no gun.) and while the amataurish look is intentional, the poor editing works against it. If a piece is made to look amataurish the pacing needs to be really good to make the humour, here its a mixed bag, the opening joke with the girl being approached with what is assumed to be a thug didnt work cause the pace was too fast. The bugbusters intro was well paced enough, but the shooting sequence could have been alot tighter. But when you get into the chase it gets a bit tighter again and works.

    In the end my main concern would be the same as projectmayham's would it stand up to a 7 minute slot over six episodes?

    Firstly...thanks for the constructive feedback. I completely agree with you about the start. It needs to be slower and better directed(aka...thug needs to be angrier at first) with better sound. We shot that first and I got a bit caught up in trying to be a cameraman, do sound, direct, sort out the shots and keep the camera dry all at once. If we get through and have a budget I'll have others to take care of this thankfully! :) And it will be shot again. I had two days to edit it and had to work with what I shot. I began to relax and direct more when we got on to the action bits so they came out better.
    johnfunk wrote: »
    I'm aware of both python and garth marenghi's darkplace, in fact i would go as far as to say I'm a fan. i think that you are confusing amateurish with low budget. python works because it was well written and didn't allow itself to be restricted by the fact that they had no cash. they chose inventive ways of telling the story/gags and never set out to make it look meh.

    i just worried that your particular idea wont stretch to 6 episodes as all the gags where used in this promo, also the pace of editing is all wrong and it left me wanting

    First of all we never set it out to be 'meh'. We too tried to work around having no budget in a very short time slot.

    We have the plot all worked out including character arcs. The humour isn't all like the gags in the preview episode...that's just the angle we took for the fight scenes. I'll let people read the scripts and critique if interested...just pm me.

    And again...thank you very much everybody for your feedback. Greatly helpful and appreciated! Keep it coming! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    The editing needs to be a lot sharper. If you're going for 'bad edit gags' they need to be more obvious. After the guy fires the rocket at the car there's too long before the cut. We should see the car explode immediately and then have the guy strike a pose.

    Did you upload your 30 second promo to Youtube too?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Yep the car exploding was a bad edit gag :) People have found it funny. But I know what you mean. I only had two evenings to cut and apply effects to all of this so it naturally would be sharper with more time.

    We were cheeky and submitted this as the promo. Heehee! :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    We were cheeky and submitted this as the promo. Heehee! :P

    I don't know how strict they are but won't that give them the opportunity to automatically discount your entry?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    I doubt they would with the effort we put into it. We figured they can choose to watch 30 seconds of it if they wish or the full thing. Hopefully they won't anyway.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 littlejohnnyrep


    I think with the funding from RTE it'll be brilliant,
    considering the zero budget and time constraints with editing etc. it's the best entry promo i've seen up on youtube by far.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    I think with the funding from RTE it'll be brilliant,
    considering the zero budget and time constraints with editing etc. it's the best entry promo i've seen up on youtube by far.

    RTE will be going more on the scripts I'd say than the promos and any time constraints entrants had won't concern them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Spot on. But the preview defo helps to show how the script can work especially in the case of comedy. Our scripts our fairly solid and we've got each episode planned out with sub plots that all tie up nicely in the end. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Spot on. But the preview defo helps to show how the script can work especially in the case of comedy. Our scripts our fairly solid and we've got each episode planned out with sub plots that all tie up nicely in the end. :)

    Good luck man. :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36 Brendan Canty


    Cheers bud :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    I think with the funding from RTE it'll be brilliant,
    considering the zero budget and time constraints with editing etc. it's the best entry promo i've seen up on youtube by far.

    Check these out

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfidRDJ35HY&feature=player_embedded

    and

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEzBlwM-ywQ

    you have to remember that any time restraints were self inflicted as the competition has been open for over a month


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    johnfunk wrote: »
    Check these out

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfidRDJ35HY&feature=player_embedded

    and

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEzBlwM-ywQ

    you have to remember that any time restraints were self inflicted as the competition has been open for over a month

    I throw my vote in behind punchline.

    Its a good idea. well edited piece for the most part (though as an exclusively internet based one I wouldnt be so keen. Can and has worked on tv and film)

    Gets me interested anyway.

    Makes me think of King of Comedy though.

    My biggest criticism would be the acting is a bit over the top in the preview, a comedy about comedy should be more dialogue oriented then pantomime.

    Mariana is the most technically impressive entry by far...Its clear they got a good technical team.

    But its premise is a bit meh personnally and the script in the preview doesnt sell it, acting's a bit hammy and the script is very clunky, lots of exposition trying to be sold as clever dialogue which doesnt work.

    One thing I must say though, if Mariana doesnt get through, the other teams would be fools not to at least offer crew positions to crew that did the preview.

    another entry which is rather strange

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9Yuxd9WyLo

    Poor pitch as it simply confuses me as a viewer. (if its even real.)


    Good thing I didnt enter in the end, I only found out 2 weeks before deadline, wouldnt have had anytime to get a script etc together in time. Might try next year if there is one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 LilLolaDee


    I have to disagree with those that are saying it could not stand up to a 7 minute slot over six episodes. Is it not a bit premature of you to suggest this simply from seeing the promo and not the scripts? I'm sure they would not submit something that wasn't already mapped out over the six episodes.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    LilLolaDee wrote: »
    I have to disagree with those that are saying it could not stand up to a 7 minute slot over six episodes. Is it not a bit premature of you to suggest this simply from seeing the promo and not the scripts? I'm sure they would not submit something that wasn't already mapped out over the six episodes.

    the point of a promo is to engage the audience and get them interested in your idea. Ideally it should leave you wanting more

    My criticism of bugbusters is not a personal attack, i simply suggested as a member of the audience that i didn't think that it would hold my interest for six episodes. Any excuse can be put forward as to why the promo looks the way it does but at the end of the day a link was posted and comments were asked for, mine happen to be negative but its my opinion.

    look at the other links for promos that Ive just posted, regardless of what you think about the idea behind them you would have to admit that they are well made and convey the idea in a short space of time. that's the idea behind a pitch short, concise and leave the viewer wanting more.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    BlitzKrieg wrote: »

    Mariana is the most technically impressive entry by far...Its clear they got a good technical team.

    But its premise is a bit meh personnally and the script in the preview doesnt sell it, acting's a bit hammy and the script is very clunky, lots of exposition trying to be sold as clever dialogue which doesnt work.

    One thing I must say though, if Mariana doesnt get through, the other teams would be fools not to at least offer crew positions to crew that did the preview.

    another entry which is rather strange

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9Yuxd9WyLo

    Poor pitch as it simply confuses me as a viewer. (if its even real.)


    Good thing I didnt enter in the end, I only found out 2 weeks before deadline, wouldnt have had anytime to get a script etc together in time. Might try next year if there is one.

    I believe that both promos were made by the same team which is interesting.

    I agree lolcano is strange couldnt figure out what was going on.

    Now is the time to be getting the ideas ready for next year. let me know if i can be any help.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    johnfunk wrote: »
    I believe that both promos were made by the same team which is interesting.


    Oh gods I retract my support of punchline...Its the crowd that did the roaring twenties by the look of it. I return my support to bugbusters.

    Now is the time to be getting the ideas ready for next year. let me know if i can be any help.

    I had a friend pitch me an idea or two about following a small irish office of a big multinational introducing chip implants to replace mobile phones and the protesters who oppose it, it had a nice mix of comedy, serious drama and sci fi. Sadly he wasnt able to put two scripts together in time. Would have worked online cause it was going to be done mockumentary style and the advertising for it would have been focused around viral marketing with blogs for the characters and a company website etc.

    We talked about it quite a bit. Dunno if I'll be here or the uk next year though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭johnfunk


    Whats the roaring twenties?


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,685 ✭✭✭✭BlitzKrieg


    short lived tv series on rte

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055217230

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055212180&highlight=roaring+twenties

    the show itself:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWJhdtwp7Lk


    It was pretty bad. For pretty much the same reasons I said I disliked Mariana, the dialogue is woeful for the most part.

    In their defence, technically they are quite good. Just it ran thin on appeal very quickly after 3 minutes of listening to the characters in a pub.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 LilLolaDee


    I agree that it should leave you wanting more. I personally think it does, but thats my personal opinion and you have yours. What I'm saying is that in the pitch to RTE you include your scripts and your promo. They are not relying on the promo alone. As he has mentioned, they have a strong script, which to me sounds promising as he seems very open to constructive criticism and recognises its weaknesses. The thing about this kind of comedy, like any kind of comedy really, is that it won't appeal to everyone. I think they did a very good job and look forward to seeing more.


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