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removing disruptive aggressive housemate

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    #92
    fryup
    Registered Users Posts: 18,069 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    uncommon_name wrote: »
    Moral of the story is, I would try get the letting agency involved, and anything she wants to say to you or you want to say to her should be through them.

    no, Moral of the story is...if you can move into a shared house with friends...moving into a shared house with people you don't know is always a lottery


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    #93
    z0oT
    Registered Users Posts: 740 ✭✭✭z0oT


    I had some terrible experiences with sharing in college. One particular year, 2 of the housemates I was unfortunate to have been stuck with used to always be hosting house parties without my or any of the other residents conscent. Drunk people banging on my room door all night was common place for a while. After lots of complaints to the management company, we eventually got them evicted.

    I swore never ever again would I share with anyone ever. I was lucky to be able to rent alone after I started work after college back in 2011. I paid a premium to do so, but it was so worth it - I got a huge kick of of knowing that the 3/4 people that I wasn't sharing with wouldn't turn into 37 one night.

    Unfortunately with rents the way they are now, sharing is the only option available to most. The only real positive thing you can take from it is to do your best not to share with people you don't know in the future. Getting landed with a psychopath is always a possibility.

    Still I would echo the other posters sentiments in this thread. Definitely don't let her walk all over you. There are options available - threaten her with legal action, go to the Gardai and talk to a solicitor for advice. Tell her you'll use the Small Claims Court to go after her for the deposit.


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    #94
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    Yesterday I spoke to the letting agency, the RTB and Threshold. The letting agency said that in some cases they allow a tenant who has been there a long time to hold onto deposits. So though I had to provide landlord and work references, as well as bank statements to the letting agency, it was a tenant who held onto my deposit. RTB said that they can do nothing as the landlord isnt involved. Threshold said I should take my time, compile everything, and go to the small claims court. The letting agency advised me to write a document confirming I would move out and have my deposit returned. I have done this and emailed it to the psychopath, cc'ing the agency - but she is refusing to sign it. The document I wrote and signed was:

    This document is following on from a conversation with Lauren in Dublin Lettings. It details my intention to move out due to incessant disturbances of the peace at [address].


    I was informed by the agency, to my surprise, that [name of psychopath] never passed my deposit on to them. [name of psychopath] now holds responsibility for returning my deposit.


    On signing of this document by both parties, I will move out of [address] on the 7th October and I expect my deposit to be returned on October 8th.


    Signed:
    [my signature]

    [signature of psycopath]


    I have moved most of my stuff to my girlfriends and im sleeping there. However I still have the keys and I have not paid any rent for October yet. Since the psychopath - who is head tenant and effectively does the job of the landlord and letting agency - is refusing to sign the above document, can I keep hold of this room until she does, without paying rent?


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    #95
    uncommon_name
    Registered Users Posts: 416 ✭✭uncommon_name


    fryup wrote: »
    no, Moral of the story is...if you can move into a shared house with friends...moving into a shared house with people you don't know is always a lottery

    Well in my case, I moved in with 2 friends and 1 random person. It was the friends that were a disaster. The random guy was perfect. In fact we are still friends 6 years later :)


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    #96
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Take the TV off her wall and bring it to your girlfriends.

    State clearly that this is lien on your deposit and will be returned when the deposit is returned.


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    #97
    uncommon_name
    Registered Users Posts: 416 ✭✭uncommon_name


    seamus wrote: »
    Take the TV off her wall and bring it to your girlfriends.

    State clearly that this is lien on your deposit and will be returned when the deposit is returned.

    I can see your point, it may solve the issue but is it worth taking the risk of getting the Gardai involved?

    Maybe start being an annoying room mate. Use her stuff, eat her food, be loud etc. until she just gives it to you to get rid of you.


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    #98
    sheroman01
    Registered Users Posts: 4,650 ✭✭✭sheroman01


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    However I still have the keys and I have not paid any rent for October yet. Since the psychopath - who is head tenant and effectively does the job of the landlord and letting agency - is refusing to sign the above document, can I keep hold of this room until she does, without paying rent?

    Could you just lock your room door until you get your deposit back? She could just break it down knowing her, but it'll be hers to fix. Record yourself locking the door as well, so you have a record of it.


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    #99
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    seamus wrote: »
    Take the TV off her wall and bring it to your girlfriends.

    State clearly that this is lien on your deposit and will be returned when the deposit is returned.

    Is that all I can do? Can I stay and refuse to pay rent given the document i prepared specifying my deposit will be returned once I move out isn't being signed?


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    #100
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    sheroman01 wrote: »
    Could you just lock your room door until you get your deposit back? She could just break it down knowing her, but it'll be hers to fix. Record yourself locking the door as well, so you have a record of it.

    Yes I have it locked and Ive moved all my stuff to my girlfriends


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    #101
    power pants
    Registered Users Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭power pants


    Going to get slated but from reading the whole thread, I don’t think you have stood up for yourself as much as you could

    If you are leaving, make sure you get your deposit . Tell her this, she is not god. Do not leave until you get your deposit back. Tell her this

    Confront her , don’t need to be threatening but at the same time tell her you are getting your deposit back


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    #102
    sheroman01
    Registered Users Posts: 4,650 ✭✭✭sheroman01


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    Yes I have it locked and Ive moved all my stuff to my girlfriends

    Okay, good. Surely the ball is in your court now? No tenant can move in now until that door is opened. You will only open it until you get your deposit back.
    power pants wrote: »
    Going to get slated but from reading the whole thread, I don’t think you have stood up for yourself as much as you could

    If you are leaving, make sure you get your deposit . Tell her this, she is not god. Do not leave until you get your deposit back. Tell her this

    Confront her , don’t need to be threatening but at the same time tell her you are getting your deposit back

    Seriously, that's all easier said than done. He is asking and demanding that the deposit is given back, she keeps saying no. OP has went down all the right routes; landlord, threshold, agency. What more can he do, please tell us?


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    #103
    power pants
    Registered Users Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭power pants


    sheroman01 wrote: »
    Okay, good. Surely the ball is in your court now? No tenant can move in now until that door is opened. You will only open it until you get your deposit back.



    Seriously, that's all easier said than done. He is asking and demanding that the deposit is given back, she keeps saying no. OP has went down all the right routes; landlord, threshold, agency. What more can he do, please tell us?


    Not leave until he gets it.


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    #104
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    power pants wrote: »
    Going to get slated but from reading the whole thread, I don’t think you have stood up for yourself as much as you could

    If you are leaving, make sure you get your deposit . Tell her this, she is not god. Do not leave until you get your deposit back. Tell her this

    Confront her , don’t need to be threatening but at the same time tell her you are getting your deposit back

    I cannot emphasize enough hoe evil this person is. There's a malevolence to her. Everyone who has ever dealt with her has said the same. I told her to never speak or message me again. I warned her multiple times. She pushed me, then took out a camera to record my reaction. This is the type of psychopath she is. I did stand up for myself throughout - but Im sick of living in the same house as an evil presence.


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    #105
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    power pants wrote: »
    Not leave until he gets it.

    Should I keep paying rent? Can I stay while not paying rent and until my deposit is returned? Threshold are to ring me back about this


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    #106
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    I spoke to the agency just now and they said this psychopath was in their office. They advised her to return my rent. She still has not done so. They warned her the entire lease will be cancelled and everyone will have to vacate if it's not returned. But still nothing.


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    #107
    mloc123
    Registered Users Posts: 9,454 ✭✭✭mloc123


    Does she lock her bedroom door? Because I 100% would be taking a **** on her bed before moving out...


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    #108
    B0jangles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,951 ✭✭✭B0jangles


    Remember that a person like this has a lifetime's experience in torturing other people, the OP doesn't. It'd be extremely risky to try taking her on at her own game - she has a lot more experience in being evil, and more importantly, getting away with being evil.

    I'd stick with legal routes plus recording your interactions with her as far as possible.


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    #109
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    mloc123 wrote: »
    Does she lock her bedroom door? Because I 100% would be taking a **** on her bed before moving out...

    she does


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    #110
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    B0jangles wrote: »
    Remember that a person like this has a lifetime's experience in torturing other people, the OP doesn't. It'd be extremely risky to try taking her on at her own game - she has a lot more experience in being evil, and more importantly, getting away with being evil.

    I'd stick with legal routes plus recording your interactions with her as far as possible.

    This is true. I cannot emphasize enough how much everyone she has ever worked or lived with despises her.


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    #111
    sheroman01
    Registered Users Posts: 4,650 ✭✭✭sheroman01


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    Should I keep paying rent? Can I stay while not paying rent and until my deposit is returned? Threshold are to ring me back about this

    Absolutely do not keep paying rent. Keep the door locked, keep the key. You have the backing of the agency now at least. Once you have your deposit, then return the key.


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    #112
    power pants
    Registered Users Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭power pants


    B0jangles wrote: »
    Remember that a person like this has a lifetime's experience in torturing other people, the OP doesn't. It'd be extremely risky to try taking her on at her own game - she has a lot more experience in being evil, and more importantly, getting away with being evil.

    I'd stick with legal routes plus recording your interactions with her as far as possible.


    Ok, I simply don’t get it. Someone has my deposit that isn’t entitled to it

    I’d get it back, evil entity, lifetime torturing people .. this is slightly ott

    I’d ensure I got my deposit back, simple as that


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    #113
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    power pants wrote: »
    Ok, I simply don’t get it. Someone has my deposit that isn’t entitled to it

    I’d get it back, evil entity, lifetime torturing people .. this is slightly ott

    I’d ensure I got my deposit back, simple as that

    How?


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    #114
    Assetbacked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,969 ✭✭✭Assetbacked


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    This is true. I cannot emphasize enough how much everyone she has ever worked or lived with despises her.

    How do you know that? Does she work for a big company?


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    #115
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    Assetbacked wrote: »
    How do you know that? Does she work for a big company?

    The reason I got the house is because she worked with my ex-gf. Everyone she worked with ended up hating her. They theorized she may be mentally ill and may have Aspergers, but I think that's unfair on people with Aspergers and that she's just a born ****.


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    #116
    jamesbere
    Registered Users Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    I spoke to the agency just now and they said this psychopath was in their office. They advised her to return my rent. She still has not done so. They warned her the entire lease will be cancelled and everyone will have to vacate if it's not returned. But still nothing.

    The backing of the letting agency is great news, plus that they have warned her that the lease is under threat aswell.

    I would suggest next would be go to the gardai, make a statement outlining your in fear of your safety and tell them the whole story.

    The ball is in her court now, I know it's a nightmare situation but I would strongly advise not doing anything stupid, if you see her again keep your mouth shut, except to say speak to letting agency if you wish to contact me.


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    #117
    uncommon_name
    Registered Users Posts: 416 ✭✭uncommon_name


    Glad to hear the letting agency have taken your side and are now aware of the situation. As mentioned in my previous comments, this is when the crap stopped happening during my experience. I hope it is the same for you.

    As someone mentioned above, I would most definitely be leaving some mental health leaflets around the house and post them under her bedroom door too.
    Few dead mice from the pet shop in her cereal or something isn't a bad idea either...
    I would get the b**ch back for the hassle she has caused for you.


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    #118
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    Threshold have confirmed that the Letting Agency are NOT off the hook, even though the agency have repeatedly tried to get rid of me (which makes me question whether they really did tell the psychopath to pay up or ship out). They said I can bring a dispute to the RTB against the agency, and bring the psychopath to the Small Claims Court.

    I will most likely hand over keys on Sunday, and then proceed with the RTB and Small Claims Court.


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    #119
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    uncommon_name wrote: »
    Glad to hear the letting agency have taken your side and are now aware of the situation. As mentioned in my previous comments, this is when the crap stopped happening during my experience. I hope it is the same for you.

    As someone mentioned above, I would most definitely be leaving some mental health leaflets around the house and post them under her bedroom door too.
    Few dead mice from the pet shop in her cereal or something isn't a bad idea either...
    I would get the b**ch back for the hassle she has caused for you.

    I'd like to. Anyone know a TV licence inspector?


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    #120
    Wheres Me Jumper?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Wheres Me Jumper?


    as a student i recall having some very strange housemates. most nice, some funny, a few crazy. i recall one guy used to say a decade of the rosary every night and implore the rest of us to join in. another guy phoned his mum every 2nd night and be in tears at the end of every conversation. another wanted to petrol bomb the house following a LL dispute! (we managed to convince him it was not a good idea).

    personally i would move out ASAP. as others have said life is too short to be dealing with this nonsense.

    maybe she has mental/personality issues, maybe she's a nasty twat? probably down to some real or imagined jealousy on her part. tbh who knows, who cares.

    mark this down as part of life's many experiences and try to learn something from it.
    when you are older you will sit down with your friends and laugh about the whole thing.


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    #121
    power pants
    Registered Users Posts: 2,907 ✭✭✭power pants


    What is this lesson though?

    How can you tell someone is mental?

    Should he just live on his own Incase someone else bullies and steals a large sum of money?

    There is no lesson to be learnt


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