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My friend's long term girlfriend aborted their child without consulting him first.

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24

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    #32
    JizzBeans
    Registered Users Posts: 304 ✭✭JizzBeans


    Fr Tod Umptious wrote: »
    Yes it was the IVF part that raised the BS flag for me

    Couples don't go through that lightly, it's a very big decision for a whole host of reasons and it's very expensive.

    No one that has been through it would be just decide to have an abortion on a whim for a career move and then not tell their partner.

    **Edit** Read the post again OP, you mentioned she got pregnant before IVF rather than after
    Still BS I reckon though

    BEFORE committing to IVF. Please read correctly


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    #33
    MrMusician18
    Registered Users Posts: 7,251 ✭✭✭MrMusician18


    Deleted User wrote: »
    So not at all similar to the scéal in the OP.

    Well they weren't trying for a baby, but the fella was all excited to be a father and was telling everyone that his partner was expecting -this was quite early in the pregnancy tbf. Next time we heard from him he said that she had gone to England without telling him. He was quite cut up about it.


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    #34
    super_furry
    Registered Users Posts: 27,322 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Wow OP's post history is a wild ride.


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    #35
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Maybe is a bs story as people say but it does raise the question about why a man cant request an abortion and if refused be legally allowed opt out. It's unfair that a man has no choice if the baby is aborted or not and if the women keeps it against the mans will then why is he liable for financial assistance for 23 years


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    #36
    JizzBeans
    Registered Users Posts: 304 ✭✭JizzBeans


    MrMusician18 wrote: »
    Well they weren't trying for a baby, but the fella was all excited to be a father and was telling everyone that his partner was expecting -this was quite early in the pregnancy tbf. Next time we heard from him he said that she had gone to England without telling him. He was quite cut up about it.


    How did that situation turn out?


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    #37
    MrMusician18
    Registered Users Posts: 7,251 ✭✭✭MrMusician18


    JizzBeans wrote: »
    How did that situation turn out?

    They went their separate ways afterwards as far as I know.


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    #38
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    JizzBeans wrote: »
    My friend and his partner were trying for a child for several months, he has a low sperm count but they continued trying before committing to expensive and time consuming IVF treatment. Fortunately they were successful.


    My friend was over the moon and ecstatic that he was going to be a dad because he thought they wouldn't make it. In addition to the wonderful news, his partner was offered a hard earned promotion at work in the weeks following.



    I was out with him the other night and I noticed he was unsettled, like something was on his mind but wouldn't really talk about it . After a few drinks he became visibly upset and explained that his partner decided to have an abortion and only told him about it after the event and never consulted him beforehand.


    Her reasoning was that since she was offered the new job, she didn't want to go on maternity leave so soon. She was subject to one years probation and was "scared that her maternity leave and pregnancy would jeopardise her probation".


    He is gutted and I am appalled that she or any woman would have an abortion without at least consulting the father. My friend is devastated but his partner seems completely unapologetic and appears to have the attitude that it's "none of his business" and "It was my decision to make"



    They were living together for 4 years, renting an apartment. He has moved out after a massive row and I have offered him to stay in my house.


    Is this what Ireland voted for?

    Yes.


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    #39
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,293 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    MrMusician18 wrote: »
    Well they weren't trying for a baby, but the fella was all excited to be a father and was telling everyone that his partner was expecting -this was quite early in the pregnancy tbf. Next time we heard from him he said that she had gone to England without telling him. He was quite cut up about it.

    Your absolute dope of a friend dodged a bullet.. going around telling people he'd knocked up his new girlfriend.. spanner


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    #40
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,293 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    MrMusician18 wrote: »
    They weren't their separate ways afterwards as far as I know.

    lol

    Touchdown


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    #41
    AndrewJRenko
    Registered Users Posts: 28,527 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Maybe is a bs story as people say but it does raise the question about why a man cant request an abortion and if refused be legally allowed opt out. It's unfair that a man has no choice if the baby is aborted or not and if the women keeps it against the mans will then why is he liable for financial assistance for 23 years
    If only there was a simple, easy way for lads who are concerned about this terrible oppression to make sure it doesn't happen?


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    #42
    anndub
    Registered Users Posts: 505 ✭✭✭anndub


    Women are evil, selfish, cruel monsters who should never be trusted.

    That's the gist of this work of fiction, right?


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    #43
    Fr Tod Umptious
    Registered Users Posts: 15,058 ✭✭✭✭Fr Tod Umptious


    JizzBeans wrote: »
    BEFORE committing to IVF. Please read correctly

    Speak for yourself, you even quoted my post after I had put the **EDIT** in it


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    #44
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Need to try harder OP. Not convincing at all

    If it is not BS, what she did was quite cruel and she should have of course consulted her husband. But its just one person, it doesnt mean that all women will do this or would ever want to and it doesnt mean that giving women the right to abortion in the referendum is a bad thing. Which is clearly the reaction youre trying to provoke, with the last line.


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    #45
    sk8erboii
    Site Banned Posts: 1,253 ✭✭✭sk8erboii


    Lol. OP no one talks or interacts like that in real life. You just outed yourself as a social outcast who makes poorly written stories on boards.ie

    IMO Get psychiatric help. You’re in the same league with that lad who got three years for trolling. I hope you get the same so you’ll stop this pathological behavior.


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    #46
    uptherebels
    Registered Users Posts: 1,586 ✭✭✭uptherebels


    JizzBeans wrote: »


    Is this what Ireland voted for?

    This may come as a shock to you but Irish women were having abortions before the vote. The referendum result is largely irrelevant to this situation.


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    #47
    MrMusician18
    Registered Users Posts: 7,251 ✭✭✭MrMusician18


    wakka12 wrote: »
    Need to try harder OP. Not convincing at all

    If it is not BS, what she did was quite cruel and she should have of course consulted her husband. But its just one person, it doesnt mean that all women will do this or would ever want to and it doesnt mean that giving women the right to abortion in the referendum is a bad thing. Which is clearly the reaction youre trying to provoke, with the last line.
    Point of order, we didn't actually give women that right with the referendum. We actually voted to allow abortion to be legislated for. Technically, there would be nothing illegal or unconstitutional (under the terms of the amendment) if the government turned around tomorrow and banned it again.

    There are other arguments though that without the 8th amendment, the constitutional right to bodily integrity would prevent it being made illegal again, but that's never been tested afaik.


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    #48
    Giblet
    Registered Users Posts: 11,977 ✭✭✭✭Giblet


    Plenty of couples having IVF treatment lose the baby, so congrats on your little troll there to add a bit of soap opera and make some sort of point best left to the shower next time, eh?


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    #49
    Screw Attack
    Registered Users Posts: 77 ✭✭Screw Attack


    JizzBeans wrote: »
    My friend and his partner were trying for a child for several months, he has a low sperm count but they continued trying before committing to expensive and time consuming IVF treatment. Fortunately they were successful.


    My friend was over the moon and ecstatic that he was going to be a dad because he thought they wouldn't make it. In addition to the wonderful news, his partner was offered a hard earned promotion at work in the weeks following.



    I was out with him the other night and I noticed he was unsettled, like something was on his mind but wouldn't really talk about it . After a few drinks he became visibly upset and explained that his partner decided to have an abortion and only told him about it after the event and never consulted him beforehand.


    Her reasoning was that since she was offered the new job, she didn't want to go on maternity leave so soon. She was subject to one years probation and was "scared that her maternity leave and pregnancy would jeopardise her probation".


    He is gutted and I am appalled that she or any woman would have an abortion without at least consulting the father. My friend is devastated but his partner seems completely unapologetic and appears to have the attitude that it's "none of his business" and "It was my decision to make"



    They were living together for 4 years, renting an apartment. He has moved out after a massive row and I have offered him to stay in my house.


    Is this what Ireland voted for?

    Given the fact that your username is JizzBeans (ha!) I know that this story is 100% factual and I would be an idiot not to think otherwise.


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    #50
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    Can't help but think the guy can't know with certainty it was his ...
    Guess this IS a valid way to break up: different outlooks for the two.

    - so better now than after having children


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    #51
    Salary Negotiator
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,148 ✭✭✭Salary Negotiator


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Maybe is a bs story as people say but it does raise the question about why a man cant request an abortion and if refused be legally allowed opt out. It's unfair that a man has no choice if the baby is aborted or not and if the women keeps it against the mans will then why is he liable for financial assistance for 23 years

    If men don’t want to have then they should just abstain from having sex. Its pretty simple.


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    #52
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    JizzBeans wrote: »

    Is this what Ireland voted for?

    Well, yes. There was no clause in the vote that anyone except the woman need to to consent to the abortion. So I don't like it, and I'd empathise with the imaginary bloke in your hypothetical, but yes, it's the woman's choice.


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    #53
    Arghus
    Registered Users Posts: 14,367 ✭✭✭✭Arghus


    Yeah, the OP is a load of old nonsense.

    You couldn't resist that last sentence; you would have probably got the usual suspects frothing at the mouth otherwise.


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    #54
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Edgware wrote: »
    Of course because women have a natural maternal instinct and would never do that
    Well yes, most do have a natural maternal instinct.


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    #55
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    Go back to space Alien boy.


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    #56
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    I don’t think this thread made the splash the OP hoped for.


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    #57
    IAMAMORON
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,078 ✭✭✭IAMAMORON


    It is her body. That is all.


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    #58
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    anndub wrote: »
    Women are evil, selfish, cruel monsters who should never be trusted.

    That's the gist of this work of fiction, right?

    You forgot "ravenous" and "blood-sucking". Let's be fair to the OP.


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    #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    JizzBeans wrote: »
    He is gutted and I am appalled that she or any woman would have an abortion without at least consulting the father. My friend is devastated but his partner seems completely unapologetic and appears to have the attitude that it's "none of his business" and "It was my decision to make"

    Although there is little reason to trust your story as true it seems - it is possible to answer the general question you raise in a more general sense - as from a relationship perspective she is entirely right and possibly wrong at the same time here.

    You see it is her decision to make. Simple as. That is just the facts of it. Here she is entirely in the right.

    However when we enter a relationship we do so with expectations and moral rules of our own in that relationship. So while she is entirely right that it was her decision to make - she might _also_ have been in breach of the terms of her relationship with her partner. In which case he is _also_ entirely justified to be upset and/or end the relationship.

    Other than the fact that it is her business if she aborts or not - there is no other set in stone moral rights or wrongs here. It comes down to their relationship and the agreements and expectations and boundaries they have between themselves.
    JizzBeans wrote: »
    Is this what Ireland voted for?

    We voted for a change in our constitution. Nothing more. And we made the entirely right decision.

    What individual people do with the new situation is entirely different. So no this is not what we voted for. It has absolutely nothing to do with what we voted for or were asked to vote upon. I fear you are attempting a guilt by association move to try and link granular actions you personally disapprove of to a decision we as a country made quite correctly - and you failed to create an argument against.

    Your link is as nonsense as if we voted to allow recreational drugs then I decide to gouge your eyes out with a lump of hash I just legally bought and you saying "is this what we voted for???". If I choose to do something morally questionable under a just law change - that is on me - not on the law change or the people who elected to enact it.


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    #60
    Pauliedragon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    JizzBeans wrote: »
    My friend and his partner were trying for a child for several months, he has a low sperm count but they continued trying before committing to expensive and time consuming IVF treatment. Fortunately they were successful.


    My friend was over the moon and ecstatic that he was going to be a dad because he thought they wouldn't make it. In addition to the wonderful news, his partner was offered a hard earned promotion at work in the weeks following.



    I was out with him the other night and I noticed he was unsettled, like something was on his mind but wouldn't really talk about it . After a few drinks he became visibly upset and explained that his partner decided to have an abortion and only told him about it after the event and never consulted him beforehand.


    Her reasoning was that since she was offered the new job, she didn't want to go on maternity leave so soon. She was subject to one years probation and was "scared that her maternity leave and pregnancy would jeopardise her probation".


    He is gutted and I am appalled that she or any woman would have an abortion without at least consulting the father. My friend is devastated but his partner seems completely unapologetic and appears to have the attitude that it's "none of his business" and "It was my decision to make"



    They were living together for 4 years, renting an apartment. He has moved out after a massive row and I have offered him to stay in my house.


    Is this what Ireland voted for?
    Ireland as a country voted to legalise abortion. Whether you agree with that decision is entirely up to you but we live in a democracy. Your friend will just have to deal with it.


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    #61
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    I don’t think this thread made the splash the OP hoped for.

    Indeed, an attention-seeking cretin looking for some cheap form of validation. Almost makes me hopeful for KikiLaRue3.


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