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Boards unfettered sexism (See Mod Note in first post)

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    #32
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,808 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    rapul wrote: »
    And I stand corrected then and apologise for what it's worth not that I have to, yous are just as bad ganging up on me at the moment tbh, goodluck

    A half hearted non apology apology followed by equating sexism with highlighting sexism. Joke.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #33
    rapul
    Registered Users Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭rapul


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    A half hearted non apology apology followed by equating sexism with highlighting sexism. Joke.

    Nah mate it's hilarious **** it!


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    #34
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,859 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    rapul wrote: »
    Actually no I don't, that comment is hilarious and that's why I liked it, lighten up haha

    Indeed.

    Exactly why this thread is needed unfortunately.

    The mask slips very easily.


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    #35
    rapul
    Registered Users Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭rapul


    anewme wrote: »
    Indeed.

    Exactly why this thread is posted.

    The mask slips very easily.

    No mask it's hilarious, I stand by it.

    Maybe your the problem as u said to me


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    #36
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,808 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    rapul wrote: »
    No mask it's hilarious, I stand by it.

    Maybe your the problem as u said to me

    But you are the one laughingly supporting sexism.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #37
    rapul
    Registered Users Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭rapul


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    But you are the one laughingly supporting sexism.

    No, it's such a ridiculous comment it's clearly a joke, look whatever I'm the boogie man here but I'm done this is going nowhere


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    #38
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,859 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    rapul wrote: »
    No, it's such a ridiculous comment it's clearly a joke, look whatever I'm the boogie man here but I'm done this is going nowhere

    On the page before, you said it was a horrible comment and now it’s hilarious?

    At least be consistent.

    The hole you are digging for yourself is just getting deeper.


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    #39
    cee_jay
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 7,920 Mod ✭✭✭✭cee_jay


    rapul wrote: »
    No, it's such a ridiculous comment it's clearly a joke, look whatever I'm the boogie man here but I'm done this is going nowhere

    No it's not clearly a joke. These are comments that women get on the regular, have to read on boards and other internet sites on the regular, and they aren't jokes. It is sexism pure and simple. They are so far from being a joke - they are toxic.


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    #40
    rapul
    Registered Users Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭rapul


    Here because you keep attacking me, **** off
    Worth it.


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    #41
    joe40
    Registered Users Posts: 3,811 ✭✭✭joe40


    rapul wrote: »
    Here because you keep attacking me, **** off
    Worth it.

    I don't actually see anyone attacking you, just expressing a different opinion. Is that not allowed.


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    #42
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    pwurple wrote: »
    Well, rape culture is where society has particular attitudes about gender and sexuality. Sexual objectivisation being seen as completely normal is an example of this.

    https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2055192287/1

    Women sexually objectify people too.

    It has nothing to do with “rape culture” - I agree with a lot of what’s been said here but honestly you really cheapen your argument by trying to associate it with rape.


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    #43
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    CMod Note: Rapul, don't post on this thread again.

    A reminder to all to play the ball, not the person. Personal attacks will not be tolerated.


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    #44
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Mod note: cee_jay, I've just deleted your post, FYI, as Rapul is now thread-banned and can't reply to your questions. I thought it was fairer to remove it than leave it there.


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    #45
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    Can I ask again why were the names edited from my post? Every other mod action taken has been commented on but not that one?

    One of the posters named regularly starts threads which are offensive to women and their posts are left unedited.

    If it's considered a personal attack, which it isn't, it's about the content of their posts, they regularly issue personal attacks on women ...where it the distinction?


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    #46
    Guerillabear
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Guerillabear


    cee_jay wrote: »
    No it's not clearly a joke. These are comments that women get on the regular, have to read on boards and other internet sites on the regular, and they aren't jokes. It is sexism pure and simple. They are so far from being a joke - they are toxic.

    I read the comment, which is in poor taste, but so obviously a joke. The chap clearly had an audience that appreciated the joke, so who are we to decide that no-one should laugh at it?

    We all have different temperaments and tolerances - the trick is to not make it everyone else’s problem when one of your lines are crossed.

    I’m sure there are plenty of things that you find funny that others would find offensive.

    Just log off.


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    #47
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,859 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Guerillabear wrote: »
    I read the comment, which is in poor taste, but so obviously a joke. The chap clearly had an audience that appreciated the joke, so who are we to decide that no-one should laugh at it?

    We all have different temperaments and tolerances - the trick is to not make it everyone else’s problem when one of your lines are crossed.

    I’m sure there are plenty of things that you find funny that others would find offensive.

    Just log off.

    That is gaslighting.

    It was not a joke.

    It followed on from previous posts calling larger women A Pig In Yoga Pants. long posts, nasty and unacceptable. Toxic behaviour, which has been tolerated on boards for too long now.

    Please don’t defend sexism.

    Same as bullying. Usually when bullies are called out, they say it was a joke.

    That’s the reason OP started this thread.

    Telling people to log off is not the answer. Tackling it head on is.


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    #48
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Guerillabear wrote: »
    I read the comment, which is in poor taste, but so obviously a joke. The chap clearly had an audience that appreciated the joke, so who are we to decide that no-one should laugh at it?

    We all have different temperaments and tolerances - the trick is to not make it everyone else’s problem when one of your lines are crossed.

    I’m sure there are plenty of things that you find funny that others would find offensive.

    Just log off.
    You are one of the bullies who mock others (or giggle when other mock them) and then when confronted continue with lighten up, it's only a joke.

    Stating I despise behaviour like that is not making it every else's problem. It's people like you slinging mud at others and whinging and playing victim when challenged. Typical coward behaviour.


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    #49
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    Can I ask again why were the names edited from my post? Every other mod action taken has been commented on but not that one?

    One of the posters named regularly starts threads which are offensive to women and their posts are left unedited.

    If it's considered a personal attack, which it isn't, it's about the content of their posts, they regularly issue personal attacks on women ...where it the distinction?

    I’d suggest PMing sullivlo to discuss your post specifically because I can’t speak on her behalf, but we’d never generally allow posters to be specifically targeted when they’re not posting in the thread or forum they’re being mentioned in. It’s just not very fair because it doesn’t give them much chance to defend themselves unless someone brings it to their attention.

    I suppose an acceptable alternative would be saying something like “as long as threads like these [links] are allowed”, rather than naming specific posters.


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    #50
    cee_jay
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 7,920 Mod ✭✭✭✭cee_jay


    Guerillabear wrote: »
    I read the comment, which is in poor taste, but so obviously a joke. The chap clearly had an audience that appreciated the joke, so who are we to decide that no-one should laugh at it?

    We all have different temperaments and tolerances - the trick is to not make it everyone else’s problem when one of your lines are crossed.

    I’m sure there are plenty of things that you find funny that others would find offensive.

    Just log off.

    I'm not making it anyone else's problem - the poster asked to show where he had agreed with the sexist posts, that is what I did. Highlighted where he had supported a toxic sexist post. I have not engaged on the thread where that post was made, because I would not feel comfortable, or even have the mental energy, to do so.
    Humour is indeed subjective, but your post highlights one of the toxic behaviours that is accepted on boards, namely "Oh other posters find it funny, so silence yourself there woman."
    Boards is a discussion site, where discussion should be constructive, and civilised. What this thread is highlighting is there are areas across this site where women do not feel comfortable going, because the sexist, toxic posts go unchecked, and if a woman were to highlight these, they are the problem, not the underlying sexist tone of the thread.
    It is the same for many different cohorts of posters - I know I sure wouldn't want to be posting on this site if I was black or a traveller.


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    #51
    Guerillabear
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Guerillabear


    meeeeh wrote: »
    You are one of the bullies who mock others (or giggle when other mock them) and then when confronted continue with lighten up, it's only a joke.

    Stating I despise behaviour like that is not making it every else's problem. It's people like you slinging mud at others and whinging and playing victim when challenged. Typical coward behaviour.

    If you don’t like it then don’t buy it. To conclude that I am a coward for not agreeing with a group of people likening sexist jokes to “rape culture” really does say it all.


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    #52
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    Faith wrote: »
    I’d suggest PMing sullivlo to discuss your post specifically because I can’t speak on her behalf, but we’d never generally allow posters to be specifically targeted when they’re not posting in the thread or forum they’re being mentioned in. It’s just not very fair because it doesn’t give them much chance to defend themselves unless someone brings it to their attention.

    I suppose an acceptable alternative would be saying something like “as long as threads like these [links] are allowed”, rather than naming specific posters.

    Faith, thank you for replying. With respect, stating that the poster can't defend themselves as it isn't fair, what about all the women trying to defend themselves from such posting.

    At this stage, I'm fed up with the double standards on boards, especially the continued tolerance of certain posters despite their misogynistic posting and a situation where calling them out is not permitted.

    Rather than continue to hope for improvement and change, which doesn't appear to be forthcoming, I will just close my account because after being a poster for many years, it is evidence that it's something that will never be addressed.

    LG is obviously the type of poster than is preferable to boards - at least that has been made very clear.


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    #53
    cee_jay
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 7,920 Mod ✭✭✭✭cee_jay


    Guerillabear wrote: »
    If you don’t like it then don’t buy it. To conclude that I am a coward for not agreeing with a group of people likening sexist jokes to “rape culture” really does say it all.

    You know, I don't buy it.
    I have followed the forums I deem "safe", these are the forums, after many years on the site, I don't have to be met daily with comments that are sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, fatphobic, etc. I moderate myself DAILY so I don't have to deal with this and use mental energy in processing out the hate and toxicity that is demonstrated.

    When I come onto Boards, I barely ever look at forums outside of this safe zone I have curated myself. But yet, even in one of my "safe" forums, where we are trying to discuss the sexism that is evident on the site, posters still insist on coming onto this space and telling us we are wrong, and to log off and keep quiet. These posters seem so threatened that they have not engaged in any way with the points we have made, instead of saying "log off", "it was just a joke", or just plainly denying it is happening.

    This thread in itself is case in point.


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    #54
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Guerillabear wrote: »
    If you don’t like it then don’t buy it. To conclude that I am a coward for not agreeing with a group of people likening sexist jokes to “rape culture” really does say it all.

    You can disagree you just can't demand not to be challenged.


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    #55
    Guerillabear
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Guerillabear


    meeeeh wrote: »
    You can disagree you just can't demand not to be challenged.

    I have no problem being challenged on my trail of thought - It’s just laughable that you are in support of a safe space when you just resorted to a personal attack when I give my own two cents, it’s extremely hypocritical.


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    #56
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Guerillabear wrote: »
    I have no problem being challenged on my trail of thought - It’s just laughable that you are in support of a safe space when you just resorted to a personal attack when I give my own two cents, it’s extremely hypocritical.

    Look we can go in circles about this and in the end you will still think that you were viciously attacked by a group of harpies and I will still think exactly what I wrote in previous post. I'll leave it at that.


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    #57
    Guerillabear
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭Guerillabear


    meeeeh wrote: »
    Look we can go in circles about this and in the end you will still think that you were viciously attacked by a group of harpies and I will still think exactly what I wrote in previous post. I'll leave it at that.

    I actually laughed at that. Where did I paint myself a victim? It seems you are the one painting the narrative of me appropriating women’s suffering. In a different context one might call that gaslighting.


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    #58
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,859 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    Faith, thank you for replying. With respect, stating that the poster can't defend themselves as it isn't fair, what about all the women trying to defend themselves from such posting.

    At this stage, I'm fed up with the double standards on boards, especially the continued tolerance of certain posters despite their misogynistic posting and a situation where calling them out is not permitted.

    Rather than continue to hope for improvement and change, which doesn't appear to be forthcoming, I will just close my account because after being a poster for many years, it is evidence that it's something that will never be addressed.

    .

    And yet another decent poster leaves. While others treat certain forums as no go areas due to sexism.

    Which means that there is one less person to tackle the toxic posters.

    It has been happening for a long time now.

    I dint think the mods have an easy job by any means, but there is a lack of calibration across the site, which should be more consistent.


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    #59
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,859 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Count Basie wrote: »
    It's hardly our fault that you're so easily offended.

    Nobody is offended.

    Just pointing out that sexism has no place in modern society and boards need to act appropriately in the interest of equality for all.


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    #60
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Mod note: Okay, enough. This forum does NOT exist for men to tell women how to feel, or how to react to anything, or how to experience anything. Saying "It's just a joke", "It's not our fault you're easily offended", "if you don't like it, don't buy it" - that all perpetuates the problem that women are trying to discuss here. Frankly, if you think it's fine to make huge critical comments about others and then hide behind "it's a joke" or similar, then I don't think we want you posting on this forum, whether you're male or female. At least have the stones to own up to your own biases when challenged on them.

    I will not discuss this mod warning any further, and I have run out of patience with taking a light touch approach. Bans will be issued next to anyone who has clearly not read or ignored the charter.

    Those of you fighting the good fight, please keep going. I know it's exhausting, I know it's demoralising, I know it feels easier to just walk away. But we can all try to be the change we want to see.


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    #61
    Doctor Roast
    Closed Accounts Posts: 325 ✭✭Doctor Roast


    Count Basie wrote: »
    It's hardly our fault that you're so easily offended.

    For years it's been cool to put men on blast, then when the shoe goes on the other foot....


This discussion has been closed.
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