2020 Bride/Groom

PinkLady2016 · 17-07-2019 4:32pm

blacklilly wrote: »

May 2020 for us, we got engaged in March of this year

We have the following booked:

Church
Church signer
Reception venue
Hair
Make up
Cake
Photographer
Videographer
Car
Band
DJ
Wedding dress
Wedding shoes
Flowers

We will do e-mail invites with one of the wedding websites.

Just having one bridesmaid and one best man, hoping to decide on bridesmaid dress this weekend. Other than that, we are pretty organised:)

Wow you are so organised I don't have all of that done and im due to go up the isle next Jan

blacklilly · 17-07-2019 4:56pm

I’d get married tomorrow if I could, I’m quite impatient lol. Like to get things done and dusted when they’re on my mind.

Scarinae · 17-07-2019 9:31pm

I'm sending out my save the dates this week! The wedding is over a year away but since it is in Canada I want to give people on the Irish side as much notice as possible.

Neyite · 08-08-2019 12:07pm

I was getting a bit stressed in the last week or so trying to figure out all the logistics as it's a tricky location with lots of limitations. I was actually wishing we'd just eloped altogether.

But with one phone call to the right person I got so much of the big stuff sorted and an offer to help with any of the small stuff as well. I feel much more chilled out and happier now.

PinkLady2016 · 09-08-2019 9:21am

Neyite wrote: »

I was getting a bit stressed in the last week or so trying to figure out all the logistics as it's a tricky location with lots of limitations. I was actually wishing we'd just eloped altogether.

But with one phone call to the right person I got so much of the big stuff sorted and an offer to help with any of the small stuff as well. I feel much more chilled out and happier now.

Its amazing what happened when people help each other out. Best of Luck on your wedding day

citygal93 · 09-08-2019 9:33am

How are you all getting on with your planning? One area we're really struggling with is a band as we don't want to spend more than €1500 but most have been quoting us well above this.

Neyite · 09-08-2019 11:19am

citygal93 wrote: »

How are you all getting on with your planning? One area we're really struggling with is a band as we don't want to spend more than €1500 but most have been quoting us well above this.

We aren't going to bother with a band. It's a small wedding anyway but I've gone with a DJ who is good at getting people on the dance floor with typical wedding floor fillers and I'll ask him to mix in stuff (rock & metal) that's more to our taste later in the evening once the older ones are all danced out.

helen87 · 09-08-2019 1:15pm

Can i ask how much have you paid/ will be paying for your photographer?
and how did you choose them? Getting married in Kilkenny in October and am a little overwhelmed with the amount of them!

citygal93 · 09-08-2019 1:58pm

helen87 wrote: »

Can i ask how much have you paid/ will be paying for your photographer?
and how did you choose them? Getting married in Kilkenny in October and am a little overwhelmed with the amount of them!

Our photographer is €1800 and that's from getting ready to first dance. We met him at a wedding fair and my partner really liked his style as he's also into photography so we went with him! Got some other quotes which were up to €2500.

Teach30 · 09-08-2019 2:45pm

citygal93 wrote: »

Our photographer is €1800 and that's from getting ready to first dance. We met him at a wedding fair and my partner really liked his style as he's also into photography so we went with him! Got some other quotes which were up to €2500.

My partner chose the photographer on recommendation and he’s costing between €3,000 to €5000. I was shocked initially! We haven’t picked our package yet but don’t mind paying the €5000 because the pictures will be forever and his style is very us. He doesn’t do staged, lovely dovey pics - I can’t stand those!

I’m August 2020, when would one want to know colours etc? I know that bridesmaids dresses can dictate invitations etc so wondering could I leave it until next May we’ll say to decide or would that be too late?

lisasimpson · 11-08-2019 10:52am

Getting married next May and so far have booked
Church
Hotel
Band
Hair
Make
Cake
Appointment made to register just before christmas
Know where we are getting the invites done

Going to start with the dress shopping the week after next. Similar to other posters here. Have had go bite my tongue with a few people strongly imposing their ideas. Also have 1 in particular who trying to change my mind over the fact I don't want a hen party.

lisasimpson · 11-08-2019 10:52am

Getting married next May and so far have booked
Church
Hotel
Band
Hair
Make
Cake
Appointment made to register just before christmas
Know where we are getting the invites done

Going to start with the dress shopping the week after next. Similar to other posters here. Have had go bite my tongue with a few people strongly imposing their ideas. Also have 1 in particular who trying to change my mind over the fact I don't want a hen party.

Scarinae · 12-08-2019 10:19pm

One of my bridesmaids is visiting me in Canada at the moment so we went wedding dress shopping together. At one shop the girl helping us tried to do this big dramatic reveal - once I had the dress on she got us both to close our eyes, put a veil on me and got me to stand on a podium with a bouquet, turned down the lights, put a spotlight on me and cranked up My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. It didn't help that the veil was this huge yoke with a train that also covered my face and made me think of Miss Havisham... I think it was supposed to make me emotional but was actually just really funny, I couldn't laugh because it would have been rude but I was dying on the inside :pac:

blacklilly · 13-08-2019 2:40pm

Generally for photographer anything upwards of €1,500 would be considered to provide good quality and experience.

€5,000 is expensive for a wedding photographer but then again some of those that are in vogue at present can probably command those fees.

nthclare · 13-08-2019 2:42pm

5,000 for a photographer, seriously.

Teach30 · 13-08-2019 7:08pm

nthclare wrote: »

5,000 for a photographer, seriously.

Yes seriously, No need for the attitude. I work hard I can spend my money as I see fit.

I can see now why people don’t share their costs with others, seems to draw out the worst in people. Wedding planning is hard enough without that thrown in also.

Scarinae · 13-08-2019 8:16pm

Teach30 wrote: »

Yes seriously, No need for the attitude. I work hard I can spend my money as I see fit.

I can see now why people don’t share their costs with others, seems to draw out the worst in people. Wedding planning is hard enough without that thrown in also.

If it is the photographer you want and you have the money then it is nobody's business how much you're spending really. The photographs are the things that will last the longest from your wedding, it's one place I wouldn't budge in our wedding budget.

One of the things I've learned from wedding planning is there will always be someone judging your budget - some people seem to think that spending anything in excess of the €200 or whatever it costs to get a registry office wedding is too much.

As for your question about colours, I suppose it depends how much you want everything to match or if it is more of a loose colour theme? I suppose the main things you'd want to go together are the bridesmaids' dresses and the flowers, and possibly the groom's side if they're having accessories like ties that fit the colour scheme. If you want to match the invitations in you'd need to think about when you're planning to send those out and organise accordingly.

blacklilly · 14-08-2019 9:29am

Teach30 wrote: »

Yes seriously, No need for the attitude. I work hard I can spend my money as I see fit.

I can see now why people don’t share their costs with others, seems to draw out the worst in people. Wedding planning is hard enough without that thrown in also.

Hi Teach,

in my opinion 5k is at the very very upper end in terms of photography. A lot of people feel that once the word wedding is mentioned, suppliers add 20-30% to their fees/costs.

I'm familiar with some of the best photographers in the country and none of them are charging close to 5k. Obviously if it's what you want and you are happy to pay, then go for it. It's no-ones business what you or anoyone else pays for any supplier, all that matter is that you're happy with it.

Teach30 · 14-08-2019 12:32pm

blacklilly wrote: »

Hi Teach,

in my opinion 5k is at the very very upper end in terms of photography. A lot of people feel that once the word wedding is mentioned, suppliers add 20-30% to their fees/costs.

I'm familiar with some of the best photographers in the country and none of them are charging close to 5k. Obviously if it's what you want and you are happy to pay, then go for it. It's no-ones business what you or anoyone else pays for any supplier, all that matter is that you're happy with it.

Exactly it’s all personal preference. I hadn’t a clue whether the photographer has an amazing name or not, we heard about them through friends, liked the style, asked were they available and booked them. Didn’t even look elsewhere tbh which suited us as we’re not fussed about spending ages choosing things.

At the end of the day I can justify the money on certain things, I won’t be spending on silly favours and ridiculous photo booths or even a wedding car but that’s our choice. Who really even notices half that stuff at weddings, I certainly don’t!

love_love · 14-08-2019 1:03pm

Teach30 wrote: »

Exactly it’s all personal preference. I hadn’t a clue whether the photographer has an amazing name or not, we heard about them through friends, liked the style, asked were they available and booked them. Didn’t even look elsewhere tbh which suited us as we’re not fussed about spending ages choosing things.

At the end of the day I can justify the money on certain things, I won’t be spending on silly favours and ridiculous photo booths or even a wedding car but that’s our choice. Who really even notices half that stuff at weddings, I certainly don’t!

You don't want anyone to judge your decisions but you're openly disparaging "silly" things that other people enjoy. I have no particular horse in the race, just make sure you're not doing the very that you are upset with others doing to you.

Teach30 · 14-08-2019 1:08pm

love_love wrote: »

You don't want anyone to judge your decisions but you're openly disparaging "silly" things that other people enjoy. I have no particular horse in the race, just make sure you're not doing the very that you are upset with others doing to you.

Everyone is entitled to spend their money as they wish, perhaps “silly” would be better replaced with frivolous. Also it’s an anonymous forum, it’s one thing to declare views on here but I’m hardly likely to tell the girl sitting beside me at work that her alibaba/wish tat wasn’t to my taste.

Teach30 · 14-08-2019 1:20pm

As for your question about colours, I suppose it depends how much you want everything to match or if it is more of a loose colour theme? I suppose the main things you'd want to go together are the bridesmaids' dresses and the flowers, and possibly the groom's side if they're having accessories like ties that fit the colour scheme. If you want to match the invitations in you'd need to think about when you're planning to send those out and organise accordingly.[/quote]

Thanks yes might not pick bridesmaid dresses until next year so I’m going to keep the invites a mix of colours that may suit. We can pick ties nearer the time also when we are buying the suits next year so I’m not going to panic about colours until early next year.

I’m so busy at work at the minute I’m just hoping to wing it and it’ll all work out!
I keep having to remind myself when people ask me about these things that the less fuss the better, really annoys me when people can’t understand why your not into the planning and spending hours researching like they did.

SozBbz · 14-08-2019 1:53pm

Teach30 wrote: »

Everyone is entitled to spend their money as they wish, perhaps “silly” would be better replaced with frivolous. Also it’s an anonymous forum, it’s one thing to declare views on here but I’m hardly likely to tell the girl sitting beside me at work that her alibaba/wish tat wasn’t to my taste.

I get what you're saying, however I just think its best to keep my opinions to myself when I see stuff that I think is junk/waste of money. There is literally no accounting for taste. To be honest, so much stuff is not to my taste that its just easier to nod and smile, otherwise I'd probably be causing offence left and right.

On the photographer, we're spending about €1800 to get what we want - a photographer with a natural/documentary style. I went on to OneFabDay, clicked on a few of real weddings that I liked the style of (non soppy/posed) and then looked at their websites to help make my decision.

I agree that photography is important - it should be our best opportunity to get lovely photos of us and our loved ones looking well

Who knows what that €5k includes so although I'll agree it sounds very expensive, perhaps it includes a videographer and a drone, or a lot of prints/albums after.

We didnt want any of that, so we just really want our day documented in print. I'm happy to spend on photography and think what we've gone for is fair.

Shelli2 · 14-08-2019 2:10pm

I saw some pics from a wedding at our chosen venue, and they had a flower arch. I didn't think I wanted one until I saw it in the pics, it really made the room into a ceremony space....rather than just a table at the top of a room.

So now I've decided I want one. Ha!
The rental prices are way out of budget, so I'm going to make one.......as if I didn't have enough to do. LOL.

Anyone else DIYing some or all or their decor?

Our venue doesn't need much at all in fairness. I'm just adding a few personal touches.

nthclare · 16-08-2019 3:49pm

Teach30 wrote: »

Yes seriously, No need for the attitude. I work hard I can spend my money as I see fit.

I can see now why people don’t share their costs with others, seems to draw out the worst in people. Wedding planning is hard enough without that thrown in also.

Where's the attitude you're alluding to ?

I never got married I don't know anything about weddings but I do hang out with a photographer and he's told me how easy it is nowadays with modern technology to take good photos.

625 euro an hour is good money....

All you need is a qualified photographer, good slr camera, creative eye and a laptop or Apple Mac which will run a program which is full of filters....

5,000 seems excessively expensive for maybe 60 clicks at most, 8 hour's doodling and choosing pictures and a watermark until he's paid up.....

All credit too you if you want to be able to say that you spent 5,000 Euros on the photographer...

Hope they turn out well and it's money well spent.

Enjoy your big day

Teach30 · 16-08-2019 4:53pm

nthclare wrote: »

Where's the attitude you're alluding to ?

I never got married I don't know anything about weddings but I do hang out with a photographer and he's told me how easy it is nowadays with modern technology to take good photos.

625 euro an hour is good money....

All you need is a qualified photographer, good slr camera, creative eye and a laptop or Apple Mac which will run a program which is full of filters....

5,000 seems excessively expensive for maybe 60 clicks at most, 8 hour's doodling and choosing pictures and a watermark until he's paid up.....

All credit too you if you want to be able to say that you spent 5,000 Euros on the photographer...

Hope they turn out well and it's money well spent.

Enjoy your big day

Your tone imo wasn’t nice, I only posted to show others that there’s a variety of options available. I wouldn’t tell the ground we are paying that much tbh. This is an anonymous forum I wouldn’t have considered it to be so excessive had I not seen other comments here.

At the end of the day we are paying for name and style. I’ve since looked at other photographers and I personally dislike overly posed pictures. I’m also not comfortable in front of a camera lens and I know my family won’t be happy either with having to pose and look all loved up. That’s just not us, so in reality your paying for a lot more than a good quality camera and decent filter programme, I’m paying for a photographer that will make us feel comfortable on the day and will have the cop on to stay in the background.

Anyways I’m not paying, just booking so I’m not going to over think it.

Far more important to focus on the actually marriage ceremony and that part I’m looking forward to planning.

cant26 · 20-11-2019 10:53am

How are the 2020 brides & grooms doing! After literally doing nothing for months and putting my head in the sand I ramped up the pace this week.
Finally got my hairdresser locked in. Really like her, my top two choices were obviously booked so she is my third choice. Happy enough with that.
Most importantly I bought my dress yesterdayðŸŽ‰. So happy it’s done and I have it home with me now.
Next is to nail down the guest list, organise invitations, find a florist, buy the wedding rings, get the lads suited, get outfits for my kids.....and the list goes on!
When are you all sending out your invitations? I am waiting until the first week in January. I am not fully sure though. My mom thinks I should get them out before Christmas.

woodchuck · 03-12-2019 12:13pm

I'm officially a 2020 bride \o/ A little late to the party compared to most people here :P We got engaged just over a month ago, but don't want a long engagement, so we've booked a venue for September 2020. The only other thing we have booked so far is a humanist. We did send out some Save the Dates this week though (electronically).

I've started looking into photographers, but it's all a bit overwhelming! I think we want more natural style photos (bar the mandatory group shots), but there are so many photographers that it's hard to know where to start. I'm sure a lot of the better ones could be booked up too

Aiming to get both a photographer and DJ pinned down before Christmas though... hopefully :P Then keeping my fingers cross that there might be some good deals on dresses in January!

Scarinae · 03-12-2019 5:49pm

woodchuck wrote: »

I've started looking into photographers, but it's all a bit overwhelming! I think we want more natural style photos (bar the mandatory group shots), but there are so many photographers that it's hard to know where to start. I'm sure a lot of the better ones could be booked up too

If you contact a photographer that you like and they're already booked for that date, you could always ask them if they have any recommendations for someone with a similar style. People who work in the wedding industry all know each other!

woodchuck · 03-12-2019 8:13pm

Thanks for the tip Scarinae

PinkLady2016 · 05-12-2019 11:46pm

always good to meet the photographer beforehand. So that they get to know both of you and you get to know them. Its important to get to know what they are like. Also some charge a lot of money for just a USB stick. Where others have a package that includes a photo album as well as a USB. See what is best for you. I do think the photos of a wedding are important .

woodchuck · 10-12-2019 10:38am

Still trudging through photographers...

Wondering if people have any more advice for the best approach to take when researching/picking one? So far I've:
- Looked up photos we like of real weddings at our venue on onefabday to see who the photographers are
- Gotten a couple of personal recommendations
- Gotten recommendations from the venue
- Done more widespread searches of photographers (google, boards, HIGM page on facebook, weddingsonline.ie)

There are just so many though and I'm finding it extremely time consuming to even come up with a short list. By the time you look through a few of their albums online, check a few places for reviews etc, a whole evening seems to have evaporated! And then of course you might decide you don't like their style or if you do, find out they're not available etc.

There's one lovely lady we were in touch with and has some fantastic photos of our venue, but there was also one very poor album there with a lot of harsh flash photography. She said that it was a very dark rainy day... but surely a professional should be able to cope with all conditions??

I'd just be concerned in case we have similar weather.

There's another guy who we were in touch with who seems to be very highly rated online and takes great photos. However despite being able to confirm that he has shot at our venue many times, he has NO photos of our venue online and refuses to provide any. I've asked multiple times, explaining our reasons for wanting to see them and getting completely stonewalled. I don't think this is an unreasonable request? He hasn't given any satisfactory reason not to provide them (if he has a contract with the couples not to share I'd understand, but he didn't mention that). So that has totally turned me off him, despite the countless amazing reviews and photos from other venues.

We've another promising lead, which was a personal recommendation, just waiting for her to come back to us with photos from our venue (she's asking permission from the couples first). She's a bit experimental though, including intentionally cutting off the couples heads at times! But overall her photos seem quite nice (only about 1 in 100 are bizarre and don't work) and I like her style, so fingers crossed. She's meant to be a lovely person too, which is obviously important as we'll be spending a lot of time together on the day!

I'm wondering if anyone has advice for casting a wider net and the most efficient way to do this??

Meauldsegosha · 10-12-2019 3:27pm

Our photographer hadn't shot at our venue before and it wasn't something we had even thought about TBH. Our photograher was delighted with the oppertunity to shoot a different venue and he did his research before had. On the day he had great suggestions for places to take photos. The biggest problem we had was picking 350 photos from the 700 he shot becuase they were all so good.

woodchuck · 10-12-2019 4:41pm

Yeah and I think for most large hotel or country house venues it's not an issue. They're generally very spacious and well lit. So if a photographer is good at taking shots at one country house or castle, there's no reason he won't be good at taking them at another.

But our venue is quite small (Anglers Rest), so we can see how it would be a challenging space to work in. Particularly for the drinks reception around the bar area. We want someone who can take candid shots, without being intrusive. That's much easier to achieve at a large venue, so the albums available online at castles etc are of limited usefulness to us.

As I said, there's one photographer who I really like (so good at capturing raw emotions!). But she seems to struggle with indoor shots at our venue on dull/rainy days. So I'd like to see examples of other photographers work in our venue to see if they've had the same issues or manage the conditions more successfully. I know they could just send us shots from a sunny day initially, but we'd plan to chat to them about it too and hopefully they could send us examples from a dull/rainy day for comparison if available. Or at least reassure us about their approach and whether or not they depend on the flash there.

jellybear · 10-12-2019 7:09pm

This Google search might be of some help

https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-samsung&source=android-browser&q=anglers+rest+onefabday

woodchuck · 11-12-2019 9:51am

jellybear wrote: »

This Google search might be of some help

https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-samsung&source=android-browser&q=anglers+rest+onefabday

Thanks a million. That was my starting off point

That's how I found the photographer that I thought I really liked, but the issues with the flash only became evident when we requested to see the full albums instead of just the highlights. This is why I'm so keen to see the full albums going forward! I don't want to book based on the highlights alone, as obviously they're only going to display the best photos publically.

GBX · 04-01-2020 3:47pm

Were getting married in July. Fair play to my fiance she has organised a lot so far. But still plenty more to do which we'll get to. Venue, photographer, band all sorted . The big things. We've the intention to marry appointment next week.

Slowly get there but it'll be upon us now in no time.

Shelli2 · 05-01-2020 12:45am

120 days to go!! Eep!

Starting to get very real now. I'm extremely anxious and finding it hard to get excited. My Dad is in hospital, everything is so uncertain. I feel selfish even thinking about the wedding.

cant26 · 08-01-2020 2:29pm

Just posted the invitations today. Less than 60 days to go..eek so much to do!

Shelli2 · 19-01-2020 9:20am

Invitations going out this week. &#55357;&#56833;

Debenhams suit rental, where we picked the grooms and groomsmens Highland wear won't take an order due to Brexit &#55357;&#56900;
Back to the drawing board there.

zedhead · 19-01-2020 2:33pm

117 days to go! Starting to get very close and exciting. Organising invites this weekend. Using a website called withjoy.com as we wanted to go paperless.

My dress arrived in the shop this week so going to try it on in 2 weeks (would love to go sooner but I'm just so busy at the moment).

We still haven't picked our DJ. Neither of us really know what to look for so it is hard to differentiate, so does anyone has any tips on what we should be looking for/asking?

Seems like there is so much to do but we are ticking the bits off, I have a feeling the next 4 months is going to fly by.

woodchuck · 20-01-2020 12:11pm

Do other people get stressed by wedding planning or do they actually find it enjoyable? I just find it's so time consuming and it's really stressing me out as it seems to be a never-ending to do list

(on top of a full time job etc) Some people tell me to just take a break from it, but we're getting married in 8 months, so there's not really time to do that as there's still so much to organise (only engaged a few months).

I'm really stuck trying to find a dress atm, which probably isn't helping with the stress levels.

I'm also trying to sort out a cake - I know it shouldn't matter and most people don't give a flying fcuk about the cake, but I LOVE cake! So I'm torn between spending a large amount of money to get something that looks (and tastes) amazing, or save a few hundred euro to get something more basic looking, but will still taste good

It's really hard to justify the expense, but I don't want to feel like I've compromised on the wrong things either.

Neyite · 20-01-2020 12:25pm

Yeah me. I love the creative side of things but having to ring people or chase up prices is what I hate.

With the dress, I piggybacked on someone else's shops - she had done all the research of every bridal shop and whittled it down to 3 after trawling through reviews and all that. So I just made appointments with those three and found the dress in the second one. She also came with me and knows me inside out so it meant that she knew my style and wasn't afraid to tell me to take off one that didn't suit.

I don't care all that much for cake but friends are collaborating on that for me and I've tasted their cakes before and know they'll be nice.

OfflerCrocGod · 20-01-2020 12:44pm

People are stuffed by the time the cake arrives so they may not have much of it.

woodchuck · 20-01-2020 12:48pm

OfflerCrocGod wrote: »

People are stuffed by the time the cake arrives so they may not have much of it.

Yeah, I know. I still want something that looks and tastes good though! For myself even, if not the guests :P (I always have room for cake!!)

The cake is just one thing that's stressing me out though.

Does anyone know how to take the stress out of wedding planning in general? I'm trying to get the OH involved, but frankly, that's stressing me out even more. He takes so long to do anything and when he does, it's not done properly

I will put my hands up and say I'm a bit of a control freak though! I just feel like it's all on my shoulders to get everything done.

I just don't know how to make it fun

Neyite · 20-01-2020 12:58pm

My OH could not care less about the wedding prep :pac: He's happy to get married, looking forward to a holiday afterwards but about what to eat or colours or anything like that, he could not be less enthused.

So he's got a couple of jobs that suit him - he's the music lover of the two of us so he's got that side of things, and his own suit and the rest I just tell him after I've decided. The venue coordinator for me was a godsend - she knew loads of vendors and I've just gone with her recommendations, but I'm very lax about it all myself.

Some blokes just aren't bothered, and it sounds like hey trusts to make the decisions on the wedding Could you rope in a friend who enjoys that sort of thing to help you instead?

woodchuck · 20-01-2020 1:32pm

Yeah I tried to delegate things to him that he'd enjoy and/or be good at (and some stuff he just needs to do himself, e.g. suits!). He likes music, but it took him weeks to even start researching DJs. I had asked him to do ceremony music too, but it was just taking too long so ended up taking the lead myself. He's grand when it comes to making decisions together, but I feel I do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to researching, contacting, chasing suppliers.

We do have a list of suppliers from the venue and that's usually my jumping off point. But sometimes the suppliers are unavailable for our date. Even if they are available, I still need to do some research, ask questions, get quotes, compare to other options etc before booking.

My MOH is up to her eyes atm as she just bought a house and started a new job. So there's no way I'd ask her for help with wedding prep. I feel bad enough already just asking her for help with the hen! And my mam wouldn't be much help aside from offering opinions. I don't know who else to ask really

SozBbz · 20-01-2020 3:04pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Do other people get stressed by wedding planning or do they actually find it enjoyable? I just find it's so time consuming and it's really stressing me out as it seems to be a never-ending to do list (on top of a full time job etc) Some people tell me to just take a break from it, but we're getting married in 8 months, so there's not really time to do that as there's still so much to organise (only engaged a few months).

I'm really stuck trying to find a dress atm, which probably isn't helping with the stress levels.

I'm also trying to sort out a cake - I know it shouldn't matter and most people don't give a flying fcuk about the cake, but I LOVE cake! So I'm torn between spending a large amount of money to get something that looks (and tastes) amazing, or save a few hundred euro to get something more basic looking, but will still taste good It's really hard to justify the expense, but I don't want to feel like I've compromised on the wrong things either.

I really don't think your guests are going to be that wowed by a cake either way. If it doesnt make sense for you to spend the extra on something visually amazing, then don't.

I've seen both extremely, and honestly once it tastes good thats all that matters. Something not too dense with a nice light icing. THe only cakes I remember not liking were those with that heavy white icing - think shop bought christmas cake - to be fair those are the only ones I really remember because I remember not liking them.

blacklilly · 20-01-2020 5:18pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Do other people get stressed by wedding planning or do they actually find it enjoyable? I just find it's so time consuming and it's really stressing me out as it seems to be a never-ending to do list (on top of a full time job etc) Some people tell me to just take a break from it, but we're getting married in 8 months, so there's not really time to do that as there's still so much to organise (only engaged a few months).

I'm really stuck trying to find a dress atm, which probably isn't helping with the stress levels.

I'm also trying to sort out a cake - I know it shouldn't matter and most people don't give a flying fcuk about the cake, but I LOVE cake! So I'm torn between spending a large amount of money to get something that looks (and tastes) amazing, or save a few hundred euro to get something more basic looking, but will still taste good It's really hard to justify the expense, but I don't want to feel like I've compromised on the wrong things either.

I too can get quite stressed with all the planning. I'm generally very organised and on top of most things but the list just seems so long.
We are getting married in 102 days and just sent invites last night (was a major relief to press the send button on them, we used withjoy.com which I see was mentioned above also). I had hoped to invite a max on 150 ppl but we have sent 215 invites. My OH has a large family and a huge circle of friends.

I've some friends who say they really enjoyed every minute of the planning. I can't say I am but I don't hate it either.
I've no tips on how to de-stress about it either. Thankfully my OH is quite involved so I guess that is helping me a little bit.

Regarding the cake, if you like your cakes I'd say go for the cake you want, don't scrimp on it. Weddings are so expensive and we spend so much on things that aren't really that important to us. I think it's nice to pick one or two things that you are really into and do them exactly how you'd like to.

Shelli2 · 20-01-2020 8:46pm

How about a display cake, way cheaper than the real thing and can be sold on afterwards.
Then whatever tastes delicious cut behind the scenes. I know a few couple who've done this and I was none the wiser, I only found out my best friend did it when I was discussing cakes with her for my wedding.

2020 Bride/Groom

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