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The Irish Dating/Sex/Virginity/Women/Men Relationship Defining Debate

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    #122
    prinz
    Registered Users Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    donfers wrote: »
    if that is indeed your analysis then I suggest if you expand your circle of friends you will see different as that kind of mindset is certainly not typical in my experience

    Unfortunately it is quite prevalent in Irish pubs and clubs.


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    #123
    donfers
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,006 ✭✭✭donfers


    prinz wrote: »
    Unfortunately it is quite prevalent in Irish pubs and clubs.

    I wouldnt' deny that it does happen

    let us clarify again what it is - the irish man assuming if a girl doesn't tell him to f off and gives him the time of day is interested in him sexually

    yes that happens, particularly in nightclubs when people are drunk and posturing and the clock is ticking on and they want the possibility even of some action

    but where we differ is how prevalent this kind of scenario is, some think it is typical, i'd say it's a rare enough occurrence, difficult to measure of course unless we go to every nigthclub in the country monitoring conversations and interviewing people afterwards and then doing our ratio calculations of when that happens compared to when it doesn't happen

    again in my experience, i'd say the most common outcomes are

    1) if the guy makes the approach and the girl gives him the time of day

    a) they score/hook up/exchange numbers

    b) he curses himself that he didn't make some kind of move on her or make his interest in her explicit and they after a pleasant conversation thinking what if....which is completely the contrary of the guy who thinks he is in if the girl even acknowledges his existence, indeed i have noticed many times guys who are chatting away to the ladies and she has done everything to signal interest bar tattooing "I want you" on her forehead and he still holds back

    again i don't deny that macho posturing does occur where guy apportions blame elsewhere if he has failed to pull but the reality is that there is a myriad of reasons why guys and gals may not get together at the end of a night out and only one of those myriad of reasons is the sexually motivated and delusional guy seeking in vain to pull courteous and well-mannered reluctant princess


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    #124
    HavingCrack
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,847 ✭✭✭HavingCrack


    Wicknight wrote: »
    In my experience Irish men have less female friends, tend to view girls as girlfriend material rather than friendship material. As such there is less of a getting to know phase and building social structures phase than in other European countries.

    Oddly enough I wouldn't necessarily write off viewing females as relationship material first ahead of friendship as an altogether bad thing. In fact I'd say I can agree with it in one sense. How often have you heard about the man being seen as 'just a friend' by a woman he fancies? Trying to be friends first and then turning that into a relationship has a very slim chance of happening from what I've seen. Attempting to make friends with women as some sort of tactic to get them to fall for you is a disaster for all concerned I think.

    Anyway, if a man is attracted to a girl I think it's a good thing to view her as a potential girlfriend rather than a friend, for both their sakes. If she isn't interested he can just move on. Now, if he happens to be friends with her and isn't attracted to her it's clearly different but in my experience this rarely happens and the 'friendship' is just a cover for something else.


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    #125
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    Wicknight wrote: »
    I would, though that isn't that relevant to the question.

    It's relevant to the debate at large though.


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    #126
    Zombrex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    Earthhorse wrote: »
    It's relevant to the debate at large though.

    If you say so. I was answering a questions as to why Irish guys act like this, to which the friendship habits of Irish girls is really not relevant to that answer.


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    #127
    prinz
    Registered Users Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    donfers wrote: »
    again in my experience, i'd say the most common outcomes are

    1) if the guy makes the approach and the girl gives him the time of day

    a) they score/hook up/exchange numbers

    b) he curses himself that he didn't make some kind of move on her or make his interest in her explicit and they after a pleasant conversation thinking what if....which is completely the contrary of the guy who thinks he is in if the girl even acknowledges his existence, indeed i have noticed many times guys who are chatting away to the ladies and she has done everything to signal interest bar tattooing "I want you" on her forehead and he still holds back

    and (c) Where the girl gives him the time of day, he assumes he's 'in there', she makes it clear he isn't and he gets agressive and verbally abusive. Seen it happen too many times to describe it as a 'rare' occurrence.


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    #128
    Denerick
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭Denerick


    This generation is obsessed with sex.

    That is all.

    Let me return to my chastity belt, my one true friend in life.


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    #129
    guitarzero
    Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    Denerick wrote: »
    This generation is obsessed with sex.

    That is all.

    Let me return to my chastity belt, my one true friend in life.

    I think every generation has been obsessed with sex, the more open society is being about it the more we realize that we are quite like our rabbit cousins.


This discussion has been closed.
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