What's your ultimate age limit (upper&lower!) when dating?

Greentopia · 09-04-2019 1:35pm

SoundsRight wrote: »

It's biology; we're programmed to be more attracted to women that age than our own age. Have to think about the continuation of our race. Not going to get that from some career-focused, globe-trotting narcissist.

Charming view of career women you have. :rolleyes: women who are focused on advancing their careers are narcissists but men who do so are just what... go-getters? ambitious?

And 16 is too young for a 36 year old and rather disgusting. If I had a 16 year old daughter and a 36 year old man made moves on her he would be lucky to get away with his balls intact if my guy found out about that.

Greentopia · 09-04-2019 1:38pm

howamidifferent wrote: »

I'm male early 50's. Currently single. I've always been attracted to women in the early to late 20's. As someone else said. It's biology.

Are they attracted to you though? and early to late 20s is not the same as hitting on a 16 year old teen. Women in their twenties at least have the emotional maturity to know what they're getting themselves into with a much older man, not so a teenager.

howamidifferent · 09-04-2019 1:41pm

Greentopia wrote: »

Are they attracted to you though? and early to late 20s is not the same as hitting on a 16 year old teen. Women in their twenties at least have the emotional maturity to know what they're getting themselves into with a much older man, not so a teenager.

Attracted to me now? Probably not as much if at all. But I'm happy in my own skin.

I agree teenagers are or should be out of bounds unless a teenager oneself.

Hoboo · 09-04-2019 1:43pm

Greentopia wrote: »

Charming view of career women you have. :rolleyes: women who are focused on advancing their careers are narcissists but men who do so are just what... go-getters? ambitious?

And 16 is too young for a 36 year old and rather disgusting. If I had a 16 year old daughter and a 36 year old man made moves on her he would be lucky to get away with his balls intact if my guy found out about that.

Don't feed him, never had a gf, never will, everyone is safe.

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 1:54pm

Flying Fox wrote: »

If I had an 18 year old daughter I wouldn't be thrilled about it, no. There's an obvious power inbalance there, and people change a lot between their late teens and mid twenties - they are formative years. Of course the older you get the less it matters, but at 18 it's a significant gap.

Yes, obviously, but apparently common sense isn't that common around here.

Deebles McBeebles · 09-04-2019 1:58pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Yes, obviously, but apparently common sense isn't that common around here.

Nor open-mindedness.

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 2:01pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm curious as to why men who have posted with a preference for a younger woman are getting a hard time? What is so terrible about being 40 something and not wanting to date a woman older than 30 something?

Plenty wrong with it. A lot of men like this are Peter Pan types, who wanted to party and have fun during their twenties and thirties and then get to 40 odd and want to settle down, and strangely enough have no problem of depriving a young woman of HER chance to party it up and travel and get to know herself during her formative years. Pretty selfish, in my book. Also anyone who purposely wants to create a power dynamic where one partner has significantly more life and relationship experience is going to be looking for much younger partners. There's a reason so many people see it as sleazy and wrong.

Now, I'm not talking about, say, 29 and 39. I'm talking about men well into their thirties or even forties going after women who are barely out of college.

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 2:03pm

SoundsRight wrote: »

It's biology; we're programmed to be more attracted to women that age than our own age. Have to think about the continuation of our race. Not going to get that from some career-focused, globe-trotting narcissist.

It really bothers some men, doesn't it, that women are free to do as they please now? I don't understand why you seem to take it as some kind of personal insult that women aren't forced to get married at 21 in order to survive. Maybe you'd be happier in Afghanistan or somewhere.

09-04-2019 2:13pm

My query wasn't around men of say 40+ being interested in young women just out of secondary school. I'm curious as to the criticism a man receives for only being interested in women younger than him, for example a 50 yr old not looking below 40.
The way I see it is a lot of projection happens on these kinds of threads. So me at 37, if I were the sensitive type, might be aghast that a man of 40 finds me too old for him. That would be my issue however because as long as it's in the realms of safe and consenting we are all allowed have our preferences.

Lainey, not every man is a predator out to "get you".

Plopsu · 09-04-2019 2:13pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Now, I'm not talking about, say, 29 and 39. I'm talking about men well into their thirties or even forties going after women who are barely out of college.

Well my ex-wife was 20 and I was 31 when we started going out. We were together for 17 years. What's your longest relationship?

Marcus Rashford · 09-04-2019 2:26pm

People underestimate that power dynamic.

We all know men who only date younger women, less well-off people, or indeed foreigners.

They tend to be pathetic cuck types who cannot handle their peers or social/economic equals and who prefer to dominate their partners.

The predators mentioned earlier who targeted 16 year old girls strike me as pathetic characters who can neither satisfy nor amuse a proper woman.

09-04-2019 2:28pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

My query wasn't around men of say 40+ being interested in young women just out of secondary school. I'm curious as to the criticism a man receives for only being interested in women younger than him, for example a 50 yr old not looking below 40.
The way I see it is a lot of projection happens on these kinds of threads. So me at 37, if I were the sensitive type, might be aghast that a man of 40 finds me too old for him. That would be my issue however because as long as it's in the realms of safe and consenting we are all allowed have our preferences.

Lainey, not every man is a predator out to "get you".

I don't think it's fair to assume people are questioning your view because they are sensitive, jealous women.

I just find it very hypocritical. You think a partner can only be desirable if they are, for example, 10 years younger than you. A partner of your own age or older is a negative, yet you want the object of your desire to find an older partner attractive? Why should she 'settle', when she can go for a man her own age or younger?

I get that there are some women who like older men, but I think guys in their 40s and 50s who think they can get a woman 20 years younger need a bit of a reality check. I always found it unnerving when men old enough to be my dad hit on me, and so did my friends. The majority of women in their 20s are not interested in significantly older men.

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 2:54pm

Marcus Rashford wrote: »

18 right up to Death plus 30 mins for me

I will never give necrophilia a 'Thumbs Up'.

Dalomanakora · 09-04-2019 2:55pm

I don't really see the issue with men who want to date women younger than them, obviously except for that bloke who apparently wants to commit statutory rape.

Lots of women, myself included, prefer their male partner to be a bit older than them, and nobody bats an eyelid.

Erik Shun · 09-04-2019 2:56pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I will never give necrophilia a 'Thumbs Up'.

Yes indeed...I always stick 2 fingers up to necrophilia

chrissb8 · 09-04-2019 3:16pm

Deleted User wrote: »

If I am eating a fruit - that in no way means I could not get a vegetable. It only means I am eating a fruit.

Similarly someone who happens to be going out with someone younger than them - that in no way means they "can't get a girl within his age group". It just means in this case - they haven't done so.

So the "has to go after 16 year olds" is just an assumption narrative on your part which we can neither show to be true _or_ false without more information.

No not really a false narrative. Most people will go after those who have a similar position in life or a similar outlook.

How can someone who has a curfew and has to go home after their romantic dinner because it's a school night have anything to do in common with what I presume is a man who has real life responsibility and freedom. It's weird and it's a major red flag that someone would fancy is a kid.

I mean use your head. What 16 year old girl have you met who is "just so mature" that they could hold an adult relationship....they can't because they aren't an adult.

That says to me that the man has some deficent behaviours in that he's attracted to a child and that's what he finds attractive.

Oh and no. What "person" is he going to be attracted to in the 16 year old?? She's not even a person yet!! she's in the process of it!

There are obvious reasons why it's frowned upon I just can't understand why others are on this thread having to explain it.

Wibbs · 09-04-2019 3:26pm

Yeah 16 and 30 is a bit ehhhhh nope, but 30 and 40 be grand. Both adults.

Deebles McBeebles · 09-04-2019 3:27pm

Are we still talking about the lad who was quite obviously taking the p*ss when he mentioned 16 year olds?

Amazing the tangents these threads can go on.

Plopsu · 09-04-2019 3:32pm

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Are we still talking about the lad who was quite obviously taking the p*ss when he mentioned 16 year olds?

Amazing the tangents these threads can go on.

It works like this: somebody says something obviously taking the pee and a group of posters* jump on it and we all end up having a discussion about whether or not is morally right to remove a unicorn's horn.

*the specific group is topic dependant

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 3:37pm

Men are programmed to want to be with younger women- it's a procreation thing. Obviously that diminishes as one gets older.

ToBeFrank123 · 09-04-2019 3:43pm

Plopsu wrote: »

It works like this: somebody says something obviously taking the pee and a group of posters* jump on it and we all end up having a discussion about whether or not is morally right to remove a unicorn's horn.

*the specific group is topic dependant

Its definitely not morally right to remove a unicorn's horn. What the hell is wrong with you!

Deebles McBeebles · 09-04-2019 3:59pm

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Its definitely not morally right to remove a unicorn's horn. What the hell is wrong with you!

What if the unicorn is over 18 and the horn-remover is within 5 years of the unicorns age...is that ok?

ToBeFrank123 · 09-04-2019 4:07pm

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

What if the unicorn is over 18 and the horn-remover is within 5 years of the unicorns age...is that ok?

Nope, still wrong.

SAMTALK · 09-04-2019 4:14pm

Well all I can say as a 53 year old recently separated female this discussion has seriously depressed me !.

howamidifferent · 09-04-2019 4:20pm

SAMTALK wrote: »

Well all I can say as a 53 year old recently separated female this discussion has seriously depressed me !.

Why? Lots of guys in their 70's would probably be delighted to get with you

Emme · 09-04-2019 4:26pm

Markcheese wrote: »

I'll make sure to pass that little gem on to my girlfriend (now that she's hit 40),
I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know she still has options out there, even if limited..
(and I reckon she'd quite like the cloak)

In fairness the cloak and sickle would be very appealing to goth women

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 4:34pm

15 years ago I went out with a lady for 2 years. She was 10 years older (I was 25 she was 35 and sister of a friend of mine).

She was great. We got on fantastically and age was no issue whatsoever on a day to day basis....but I had to end it.

She considered me 'the one' and had marriage, babies, white picket fences and the bells and whistles. She had her own house and was settled.

Now I wasn't settled and had a lot more seeds to sow. I wasn't ready in the slightest to settle down and by the time I would be she would be 40 and children would be an issue. Undeniably children was a factor so my attitude was to end it so she could go off and find someone else in that stage of their life.

I made up a BS excuse when ending it (some work thing and being transferred abroad) just to try and make it some bit easier because it would come out of the blue.

Afterwards I heard she took it very badly (medication etc) and has not had a boyfriend since or children. She would be 50 now although I am not in contact with her it saddens me greatly but it had to be done...:(

SAMTALK · 09-04-2019 4:45pm

howamidifferent wrote: »

Why? Lots of guys in their 70's would probably be delighted to get with you

:D:D:D

ToBeFrank123 · 09-04-2019 5:06pm

partyguinness wrote: »

15 years ago I went out with a lady for 2 years. She was 10 years older (I was 25 she was 35 and sister of a friend of mine).

She was great. We got on fantastically and age was no issue whatsoever on a day to day basis....but I had to end it.

She considered me 'the one' and had marriage, babies, white picket fences and the bells and whistles. She had her own house and was settled.

Now I wasn't settled and had a lot more seeds to sow. I wasn't ready in the slightest to settle down and by the time I would be she would be 40 and children would be an issue. Undeniably children was a factor so my attitude was to end it so she could go off and find someone else in that stage of their life.

I made up a BS excuse when ending it (some work thing and being transferred abroad) just to try and make it some bit easier because it would come out of the blue.

Afterwards I heard she took it very badly (medication etc) and has not had a boyfriend since or children. She would be 50 now although I am not in contact with her it saddens me greatly but it had to be done...:(

Both of you probably should have made it clearer in the early days where each of your priorities lay. Most 25 year old guys are not ready to settle down while most 35 year old women are *

*There are of course exceptions to both rules before people remind me!

FishOnABike · 09-04-2019 7:12pm

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Its definitely not morally right to remove a unicorn's horn. What the hell is wrong with you!

What if it is to stop them being hunted to extinction by unicorn horn poachers?

Skeleton Key · 09-04-2019 7:34pm

Marcus Rashford wrote: »

People underestimate that power dynamic.

We all know men who only date younger women, less well-off people, or indeed foreigners.

They tend to be pathetic cuck types who cannot handle their peers or social/economic equals and who prefer to dominate their partners.

The predators mentioned earlier who targeted 16 year old girls strike me as pathetic characters who can neither satisfy nor amuse a proper woman.

Yeah and what's a proper woman? 45 and 250lbs??

And what's wrong with dating younger women or foreign women?

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 8:24pm

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Both of you probably should have made it clearer in the early days where each of your priorities lay. Most 25 year old guys are not ready to settle down while most 35 year old women are *

*There are of course exceptions to both rules before people remind me!

Yeah. I believe her older sister was giving her grief during the relationship for not sitting down for 'the talk'. I was too busy enjoying the fun every weekend with her and sort of sleep walked into a 2 year fun relationship. At the risk of sounding like I am blaming her she probably should have sat down and made it clear it was '**** or get off the pot' time a lot earlier.

Emme · 09-04-2019 8:27pm

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Yeah and what's a proper woman? 45 and 250lbs??

That's a good question these days with people born male identifying as female and vice versa and gender fluid people. It's basically whatever you're having yourself.

Skeleton Key wrote: »

And what's wrong with dating younger women or foreign women?

Nothing as long as it's a fair and equitable relationship.

Marcus Rashford · 09-04-2019 8:58pm

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Marcus Rashford wrote: »

People underestimate that power dynamic.

We all know men who only date younger women, less well-off people, or indeed foreigners.

They tend to be pathetic cuck types who cannot handle their peers or social/economic equals and who prefer to dominate their partners.

The predators mentioned earlier who targeted 16 year old girls strike me as pathetic characters who can neither satisfy nor amuse a proper woman.

Yeah and what's a proper woman? 45 and 250lbs??

And what's wrong with dating younger women or foreign women?

A proper woman is a consenting adult for starters.

Nothing in isolation, but people who exclusively date younger or foreign women tend to be cucks who can’t hack it with their own. It’s a power-play.

Skeleton Key · 09-04-2019 9:09pm

Marcus Rashford wrote: »

A proper woman is a consenting adult for starters.

Nothing in isolation, but people who exclusively date younger or foreign women tend to be cucks who can’t hack it with their own. It’s a power-play.

Wow! Never knew I'd be proud to call myself a cuck so!

Skeleton Key · 09-04-2019 9:12pm

Emme wrote: »

That's a good question these days with people born male identifying as female and vice versa and gender fluid people. It's basically whatever you're having yourself.

Nothing as long as it's a fair and equitable relationship.

Well then I'll stick with young beautiful slim women if you don't mind.

Something unfair about me having sex with the 24 year American college student I picked up last week?

ginandtonicsky · 09-04-2019 9:16pm

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Well then I'll stick with young beautiful slim women if you don't mind.

Something unfair about me having sex with the 24 year American college student I picked up last week?

A likely story alright there from Mr Regged-last-night-20-posts-all-in-the-same-thread wonderboy.

orourkeda1977 · 09-04-2019 9:16pm

most legal fanny is ok with me

Skeleton Key · 09-04-2019 9:21pm

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

A likely story alright there from Mr Regged-last-night-20-posts-all-in-the-same-thread wonderboy.

Maybe leave this thread to people who actually go out and have sex?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 09-04-2019 9:22pm

Flying Fox wrote: »

I don't think it's fair to assume people are questioning your view because they are sensitive, jealous women.

I just find it very hypocritical. You think a partner can only be desirable if they are, for example, 10 years younger than you. A partner of your own age or older is a negative, yet you want the object of your desire to find an older partner attractive? Why should she 'settle', when she can go for a man her own age or younger?

I get that there are some women who like older men, but I think guys in their 40s and 50s who think they can get a woman 20 years younger need a bit of a reality check. I always found it unnerving when men old enough to be my dad hit on me, and so did my friends. The majority of women in their 20s are not interested in significantly older men.

That would have been my experience too. Of course age gap couples happen and they can be very happy. But for most early-mid 20s women, middle-aged men wouldn’t be on their radar.

I agree with whoever said that older woman/younger man couplings can inspire more comment, even if the gap is really small. A woman who was in transition year when I was in first year of secondary school and a man who was in first year of secondary school when I was in third year are a married couple now. That’s, what, a five or six year gap? They got together when he was mid-20s. They were gossiped about a lot.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 09-04-2019 9:25pm

partyguinness wrote: »

There is a girl who works for us just gone 23 and lives at home with parents. Been with us since she left school- first and only job to date. She got engaged 2 years ago.

I had a right go at her for getting engaged.What type of person gets engaged at 21? This is not the 1970s and our parents era.

There is a whole world out there to see and experience. Getting engaged at 21? **** me..is that the extent of your ambition. Now I accept we all do not go to university for 4 years, do the whole J1 thing, shag and drink loads as much as possible, do a lot of traveling etc (me at 21),

Anyway, she dumped the fiancee at Christmas as he was caught drink driving. Sounds like she was looking for a way out...we teased her that it was just drama and they will be back together in a few weeks. She has held out so far and is having a right laugh heading off on her own or with friends for weekends away.

Glad she has seen the light.

This is really odd. What business was that of yours? She’s a colleague not a loved one. I’d think she was way too young too but I’d be keeping that to myself.

Skeleton Key · 09-04-2019 9:33pm

partyguinness wrote: »

There is a girl who works for us just gone 23 and lives at home with parents. Been with us since she left school- first and only job to date. She got engaged 2 years ago.

I had a right go at her for getting engaged.What type of person gets engaged at 21? This is not the 1970s and our parents era.

There is a whole world out there to see and experience. Getting engaged at 21? **** me..is that the extent of your ambition. Now I accept we all do not go to university for 4 years, do the whole J1 thing, shag and drink loads as much as possible, do a lot of traveling etc (me at 21),

Glad she has seen the light.

Translation: 'I was bitterly jealous that my friend found love so I did everything posible to ruin it. I want her to be as equally miserable as me as I spend my 20s riding the cock carousel before accepting my fate as a washed up cat lady'.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 09-04-2019 9:45pm

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Translation: 'I was bitterly jealous that my friend found love so I did everything posible to ruin it. I want her to be as equally miserable as me as I spend my 20s riding the cock carousel before accepting my fate as a washed up cat lady'.

Ah, brand new member, I’m pretty sure that forum member is a dude.

Skeleton Key · 09-04-2019 9:49pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Ah, brand new member, I’m pretty sure that forum member is a dude.

Either way it was unbelievably shiity thing to do.

09-04-2019 9:52pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

That would have been my experience too. Of course age gap couples happen and they can be very happy. But for most early-mid 20s women, middle-aged men wouldn’t be on their radar.

I agree with whoever said that older woman/younger man couplings can inspire more comment, even if the gap is really small. A woman who was in transition year when I was in first year of secondary school and a man who was in first year of secondary school when I was in third year are a married couple now. That’s, what, a five or six year gap? They got together when he was mid-20s. They were gossiped about a lot.

It's crazy. There's almost five years between me and my other half, he was late twenties and I was early thirties when we got together. I had a couple of friends say "oh he's lovely, I'm so happy for you, but I could never go out with someone younger!". Mind you, one of them has never been in a relationship and the other was seeing a man about 10 years older, but once they split she got into a relationship with someone 4 years younger. Which kind of proves the point that arbitrary age limits are silly, you fall for whoever you fall for.

Frank O. Pinion · 09-04-2019 10:39pm

How about a 96 year old and 74 year old? Too big of an age gap? Yeah, they would probably have nothing in common. Wouldn't even like the same music, that sort of thing. The younger one wanting to go out late with their friends, playing bingo, doing mad stuff like that, the older one more interested in lying still in a chair. Nah, it'd never work.

Reviews and Books Galore · 09-04-2019 10:42pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

It's amazing how many men truly don't understand this.

Generalisations? And kind of a random ibe to be honest as more women would be commenting than the men. If anybody was commenting at all.

In fairness, a man being single would raise comments from the same people, but they may not be as nice as spinster

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 10:48pm

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

Generalisations? And kind of a random ibe to be honest as more women would be commenting than the men. If anybody was commenting at all.

In fairness, a man being single would raise comments from the same people, but they may not be as nice as spinster

How is it a generalisation? I said it's amazing how many men don't understand that plenty of women have other priorities than bagging a man and getting married. Talking about men I've encountered in the real world, not just on this thread. Never said 'all men' or anything remotely similar. I'm talking about the kind of man who would tell you 'men don't like women with short hair' after you get a short haircut, honestly believing that you care about their opinion and honestly thinking they're doing you some kind of favour by letting you know what random strangers might find attractive. Bizarre.

Emme · 09-04-2019 11:39pm

Skeleton Key wrote: »

Well then I'll stick with young beautiful slim women if you don't mind.

Something unfair about me having sex with the 24 year American college student I picked up last week?

Yes. You're going public with it here. Have you not heard that a gentleman never tells?

misstearheus · 10-04-2019 3:49am

I'm 38. Desired Age-range I look for in the O.D. World is 33 - 43. The hope would be to find a guy 35 - 40. Preferably don't want younger than 35 or older than 40. But age doesn't matter a smidgen really, 'cos if ya see a nice guy out and think he's nice, if he happens to be 25 or younger, - that may be far down the list of criteria! Last guy I met out lately was 33, lol I actually still did ask him his age so I'm kind-of contradicting myself here!

:rolleyes: But anyways the shock of it lol so young at 33 and me 38!

,

Am almost 39. 39 like. It's getting to be srs bzns! I need to start being realistic and cop on lol! Soon I'm just gonna have to get real and just change the age-range to a realistic... I dunno... 35-45 or something... Or I dunno maybe I should just pretty-much forget about the 30s now as a whole altogether, and just go ... 39 - 46 or something... Ooohh lordyyy... 46...... Not ready for that at all. :pac::rolleyes::( At all at all at all!

Hate the thoughts of being late 40s / 50s stil single and child-less.

What's your ultimate age limit (upper&lower!) when dating?

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