What's your ultimate age limit (upper&lower!) when dating?

Greentopia · 09-04-2019 01:35PM

SoundsRight wrote: »

It's biology; we're programmed to be more attracted to women that age than our own age. Have to think about the continuation of our race. Not going to get that from some career-focused, globe-trotting narcissist.

Charming view of career women you have. :rolleyes: women who are focused on advancing their careers are narcissists but men who do so are just what... go-getters? ambitious?

And 16 is too young for a 36 year old and rather disgusting. If I had a 16 year old daughter and a 36 year old man made moves on her he would be lucky to get away with his balls intact if my guy found out about that.

Greentopia · 09-04-2019 01:38PM

howamidifferent wrote: »

I'm male early 50's. Currently single. I've always been attracted to women in the early to late 20's. As someone else said. It's biology.

Are they attracted to you though? and early to late 20s is not the same as hitting on a 16 year old teen. Women in their twenties at least have the emotional maturity to know what they're getting themselves into with a much older man, not so a teenager.

howamidifferent · 09-04-2019 01:41PM

Greentopia wrote: »

Are they attracted to you though? and early to late 20s is not the same as hitting on a 16 year old teen. Women in their twenties at least have the emotional maturity to know what they're getting themselves into with a much older man, not so a teenager.

Attracted to me now? Probably not as much if at all. But I'm happy in my own skin.

I agree teenagers are or should be out of bounds unless a teenager oneself.

Hoboo · 09-04-2019 01:43PM

Greentopia wrote: »

Charming view of career women you have. :rolleyes: women who are focused on advancing their careers are narcissists but men who do so are just what... go-getters? ambitious?

And 16 is too young for a 36 year old and rather disgusting. If I had a 16 year old daughter and a 36 year old man made moves on her he would be lucky to get away with his balls intact if my guy found out about that.

Don't feed him, never had a gf, never will, everyone is safe.

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 01:54PM

Flying Fox wrote: »

If I had an 18 year old daughter I wouldn't be thrilled about it, no. There's an obvious power inbalance there, and people change a lot between their late teens and mid twenties - they are formative years. Of course the older you get the less it matters, but at 18 it's a significant gap.

Yes, obviously, but apparently common sense isn't that common around here.

Deebles McBeebles · 09-04-2019 01:58PM

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Yes, obviously, but apparently common sense isn't that common around here.

Nor open-mindedness.

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 02:01PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm curious as to why men who have posted with a preference for a younger woman are getting a hard time? What is so terrible about being 40 something and not wanting to date a woman older than 30 something?

Plenty wrong with it. A lot of men like this are Peter Pan types, who wanted to party and have fun during their twenties and thirties and then get to 40 odd and want to settle down, and strangely enough have no problem of depriving a young woman of HER chance to party it up and travel and get to know herself during her formative years. Pretty selfish, in my book. Also anyone who purposely wants to create a power dynamic where one partner has significantly more life and relationship experience is going to be looking for much younger partners. There's a reason so many people see it as sleazy and wrong.

Now, I'm not talking about, say, 29 and 39. I'm talking about men well into their thirties or even forties going after women who are barely out of college.

lainey_d_123 · 09-04-2019 02:03PM

SoundsRight wrote: »

It's biology; we're programmed to be more attracted to women that age than our own age. Have to think about the continuation of our race. Not going to get that from some career-focused, globe-trotting narcissist.

It really bothers some men, doesn't it, that women are free to do as they please now? I don't understand why you seem to take it as some kind of personal insult that women aren't forced to get married at 21 in order to survive. Maybe you'd be happier in Afghanistan or somewhere.

09-04-2019 02:13PM

My query wasn't around men of say 40+ being interested in young women just out of secondary school. I'm curious as to the criticism a man receives for only being interested in women younger than him, for example a 50 yr old not looking below 40.
The way I see it is a lot of projection happens on these kinds of threads. So me at 37, if I were the sensitive type, might be aghast that a man of 40 finds me too old for him. That would be my issue however because as long as it's in the realms of safe and consenting we are all allowed have our preferences.

Lainey, not every man is a predator out to "get you".

Plopsu · 09-04-2019 02:13PM

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Now, I'm not talking about, say, 29 and 39. I'm talking about men well into their thirties or even forties going after women who are barely out of college.

Well my ex-wife was 20 and I was 31 when we started going out. We were together for 17 years. What's your longest relationship?

Marcus Rashford · 09-04-2019 02:26PM

People underestimate that power dynamic.

We all know men who only date younger women, less well-off people, or indeed foreigners.

They tend to be pathetic cuck types who cannot handle their peers or social/economic equals and who prefer to dominate their partners.

The predators mentioned earlier who targeted 16 year old girls strike me as pathetic characters who can neither satisfy nor amuse a proper woman.

09-04-2019 02:28PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

My query wasn't around men of say 40+ being interested in young women just out of secondary school. I'm curious as to the criticism a man receives for only being interested in women younger than him, for example a 50 yr old not looking below 40.
The way I see it is a lot of projection happens on these kinds of threads. So me at 37, if I were the sensitive type, might be aghast that a man of 40 finds me too old for him. That would be my issue however because as long as it's in the realms of safe and consenting we are all allowed have our preferences.

Lainey, not every man is a predator out to "get you".

I don't think it's fair to assume people are questioning your view because they are sensitive, jealous women.

I just find it very hypocritical. You think a partner can only be desirable if they are, for example, 10 years younger than you. A partner of your own age or older is a negative, yet you want the object of your desire to find an older partner attractive? Why should she 'settle', when she can go for a man her own age or younger?

I get that there are some women who like older men, but I think guys in their 40s and 50s who think they can get a woman 20 years younger need a bit of a reality check. I always found it unnerving when men old enough to be my dad hit on me, and so did my friends. The majority of women in their 20s are not interested in significantly older men.

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 02:54PM

Marcus Rashford wrote: »

18 right up to Death plus 30 mins for me

I will never give necrophilia a 'Thumbs Up'.

Dalomanakora · 09-04-2019 02:55PM

I don't really see the issue with men who want to date women younger than them, obviously except for that bloke who apparently wants to commit statutory rape.

Lots of women, myself included, prefer their male partner to be a bit older than them, and nobody bats an eyelid.

Erik Shun · 09-04-2019 02:56PM

partyguinness wrote: »

I will never give necrophilia a 'Thumbs Up'.

Yes indeed...I always stick 2 fingers up to necrophilia

chrissb8 · 09-04-2019 03:16PM

Deleted User wrote: »

If I am eating a fruit - that in no way means I could not get a vegetable. It only means I am eating a fruit.

Similarly someone who happens to be going out with someone younger than them - that in no way means they "can't get a girl within his age group". It just means in this case - they haven't done so.

So the "has to go after 16 year olds" is just an assumption narrative on your part which we can neither show to be true _or_ false without more information.

No not really a false narrative. Most people will go after those who have a similar position in life or a similar outlook.

How can someone who has a curfew and has to go home after their romantic dinner because it's a school night have anything to do in common with what I presume is a man who has real life responsibility and freedom. It's weird and it's a major red flag that someone would fancy is a kid.

I mean use your head. What 16 year old girl have you met who is "just so mature" that they could hold an adult relationship....they can't because they aren't an adult.

That says to me that the man has some deficent behaviours in that he's attracted to a child and that's what he finds attractive.

Oh and no. What "person" is he going to be attracted to in the 16 year old?? She's not even a person yet!! she's in the process of it!

There are obvious reasons why it's frowned upon I just can't understand why others are on this thread having to explain it.

Wibbs · 09-04-2019 03:26PM

Yeah 16 and 30 is a bit ehhhhh nope, but 30 and 40 be grand. Both adults.

Deebles McBeebles · 09-04-2019 03:27PM

Are we still talking about the lad who was quite obviously taking the p*ss when he mentioned 16 year olds?

Amazing the tangents these threads can go on.

Plopsu · 09-04-2019 03:32PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Are we still talking about the lad who was quite obviously taking the p*ss when he mentioned 16 year olds?

Amazing the tangents these threads can go on.

It works like this: somebody says something obviously taking the pee and a group of posters* jump on it and we all end up having a discussion about whether or not is morally right to remove a unicorn's horn.

*the specific group is topic dependant

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 03:37PM

Men are programmed to want to be with younger women- it's a procreation thing. Obviously that diminishes as one gets older.

ToBeFrank123 · 09-04-2019 03:43PM

Plopsu wrote: »

It works like this: somebody says something obviously taking the pee and a group of posters* jump on it and we all end up having a discussion about whether or not is morally right to remove a unicorn's horn.

*the specific group is topic dependant

Its definitely not morally right to remove a unicorn's horn. What the hell is wrong with you!

Deebles McBeebles · 09-04-2019 03:59PM

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Its definitely not morally right to remove a unicorn's horn. What the hell is wrong with you!

What if the unicorn is over 18 and the horn-remover is within 5 years of the unicorns age...is that ok?

ToBeFrank123 · 09-04-2019 04:07PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

What if the unicorn is over 18 and the horn-remover is within 5 years of the unicorns age...is that ok?

Nope, still wrong.

SAMTALK · 09-04-2019 04:14PM

Well all I can say as a 53 year old recently separated female this discussion has seriously depressed me !.

howamidifferent · 09-04-2019 04:20PM

SAMTALK wrote: »

Well all I can say as a 53 year old recently separated female this discussion has seriously depressed me !.

Why? Lots of guys in their 70's would probably be delighted to get with you

Emme · 09-04-2019 04:26PM

Markcheese wrote: »

I'll make sure to pass that little gem on to my girlfriend (now that she's hit 40),
I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know she still has options out there, even if limited..
(and I reckon she'd quite like the cloak)

In fairness the cloak and sickle would be very appealing to goth women

partyguinness · 09-04-2019 04:34PM

15 years ago I went out with a lady for 2 years. She was 10 years older (I was 25 she was 35 and sister of a friend of mine).

She was great. We got on fantastically and age was no issue whatsoever on a day to day basis....but I had to end it.

She considered me 'the one' and had marriage, babies, white picket fences and the bells and whistles. She had her own house and was settled.

Now I wasn't settled and had a lot more seeds to sow. I wasn't ready in the slightest to settle down and by the time I would be she would be 40 and children would be an issue. Undeniably children was a factor so my attitude was to end it so she could go off and find someone else in that stage of their life.

I made up a BS excuse when ending it (some work thing and being transferred abroad) just to try and make it some bit easier because it would come out of the blue.

Afterwards I heard she took it very badly (medication etc) and has not had a boyfriend since or children. She would be 50 now although I am not in contact with her it saddens me greatly but it had to be done...:(

SAMTALK · 09-04-2019 04:45PM

howamidifferent wrote: »

Why? Lots of guys in their 70's would probably be delighted to get with you

:D:D:D

ToBeFrank123 · 09-04-2019 05:06PM

partyguinness wrote: »

15 years ago I went out with a lady for 2 years. She was 10 years older (I was 25 she was 35 and sister of a friend of mine).

She was great. We got on fantastically and age was no issue whatsoever on a day to day basis....but I had to end it.

She considered me 'the one' and had marriage, babies, white picket fences and the bells and whistles. She had her own house and was settled.

Now I wasn't settled and had a lot more seeds to sow. I wasn't ready in the slightest to settle down and by the time I would be she would be 40 and children would be an issue. Undeniably children was a factor so my attitude was to end it so she could go off and find someone else in that stage of their life.

I made up a BS excuse when ending it (some work thing and being transferred abroad) just to try and make it some bit easier because it would come out of the blue.

Afterwards I heard she took it very badly (medication etc) and has not had a boyfriend since or children. She would be 50 now although I am not in contact with her it saddens me greatly but it had to be done...:(

Both of you probably should have made it clearer in the early days where each of your priorities lay. Most 25 year old guys are not ready to settle down while most 35 year old women are *

*There are of course exceptions to both rules before people remind me!

FishOnABike · 09-04-2019 07:12PM

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Its definitely not morally right to remove a unicorn's horn. What the hell is wrong with you!

What if it is to stop them being hunted to extinction by unicorn horn poachers?

What's your ultimate age limit (upper&lower!) when dating?

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