Do dating 'leagues' exist?

21-12-2020 4:14pm

Ok. I'm soundly confused. That is all sarcasm, right?

paleoperson · 21-12-2020 4:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Ok. I'm soundly confused. That is all sarcasm, right?

Who the hell are you talking to?

21-12-2020 5:17pm

you.

21-12-2020 5:32pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

I mean technically you can find a diamond on the beach.

In reality though no.

21-12-2020 5:40pm

You guys limit yourselves too much.

A high earning woman needs to sacrifice much in her life to achieve what she has. Which usually means that she wants what she's missed. After all, society tells her that she can be a professional success while also having everything else besides. While she won't be able to devote much time to you (as she's career minded), she is just as interested in love/romance/attention as the next woman.

Attractiveness comes down to how you make another person feel. If you're lacking in physical attractiveness, you can make up the difference through the acquisition of skills and knowledge. Being able to talk to her in ways that others fail to do. Understanding her difficulties, and being able to console. By cooking delicious foods, that she never has time to do herself, or time to learn. Making her feel special.

It's sad the way some here view dating. In some cases, there are real barriers to you succeeding with another person, but in most cases, you can learn to be more appealing to others. The problem is that you don't want to improve, and expect others to simply like you as you are now. Grow. Adapt. Become something more than you are now. Learn to understand others, and to anticipate their needs.

paleoperson · 21-12-2020 5:51pm

Shut up klaz. If you've a problem with my post at least try and argue it instead of acting the bollocks.

21-12-2020 5:58pm

Deleted User wrote: »

You guys limit yourselves too much.

A high earning woman needs to sacrifice much in her life to achieve what she has. Which usually means that she wants what she's missed. After all, society tells her that she can be a professional success while also having everything else besides. While she won't be able to devote much time to you (as she's career minded), she is just as interested in love/romance/attention as the next woman.

Attractiveness comes down to how you make another person feel. If you're lacking in physical attractiveness, you can make up the difference through the acquisition of skills and knowledge. Being able to talk to her in ways that others fail to do. Understanding her difficulties, and being able to console. By cooking delicious foods, that she never has time to do herself, or time to learn. Making her feel special.

It's sad the way some here view dating. In some cases, there are real barriers to you succeeding with another person, but in most cases, you can learn to be more appealing to others. The problem is that you don't want to improve, and expect others to simply like you as you are now. Grow. Adapt. Become something more than you are now. Learn to understand others, and to anticipate their needs.

By cooking delicious foods :pac:

Surreptitious · 21-12-2020 5:59pm

85603 wrote: »

By cooking delicious foods :pac:

Fatten her up sure. She'll love that.

21-12-2020 6:01pm

85603 wrote: »

By cooking delicious foods :pac:

Skills. Being a good cook is a wonderful skill, since women love to eat. It also provides an excellent reason for her to be in your place, or you in hers. Never mind the range of conversational topics.

Ahh I thought we were talking about a better class of dating (attractive high earning women), but I guess we're talking about youth dating revolving around the pub, and nightclubs. I can see now why you'd think it impossible to do.. fair enough. carry on.

21-12-2020 6:03pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Skills. Being a good cook is a wonderful skill, since women love to eat. It also provides an excellent reason for her to be in your place, or you in hers. Never mind the range of conversational topics.

Ahh I thought we were talking about a better class of dating (attractive high earning women), but I guess we're talking about youth dating revolving around the pub, and nightclubs.

cant she just call deliveroo?

joe40 · 21-12-2020 6:12pm

It would be an interesting experiment to get say, 20 couples but separate them and then have volunteers interact with the people and try to guess which couples are together. (You could keep it heterosexual just to avoid more complication)

I would not fancy my ability to match the couples correctly.

WhiteMemento9 · 21-12-2020 6:15pm

paleoperson wrote: »

Shut up klaz. If you've a problem with my post at least try and argue it instead of acting the bollocks.

It is hard to respond in any meaningful way because the posts are so out there that I also thought they are some kind of sarcasm. Your thinking is extremely flawed but not only that it feels like a mindset which I would say is very damaging to yourself.

Wibbs · 21-12-2020 6:22pm

joe40 wrote: »

It would be an interesting experiment to get say, 20 couples but separate them and then have volunteers interact with the people and try to guess which couples are together. (You could keep it heterosexual just to avoid more complication)

I would not fancy my ability to match the couples correctly.

Apparently photos alone can work:

Me. Earlier. wrote: »

There's a shedload of studies that show people overwhelmingly tend to pair up with "equal" in attractiveness. So if you get photos of couple ranked 1-10 in looks and jumble the pics up and get other people to match them up the 5's tend to be with the 5's the 8's with the 8's for the most part.

Though I suspect they pick people who are more obvious in physical attractiveness in both directions. A room full of people about the same level of looks would be much harder if not impossible.

21-12-2020 9:28pm

Patsy167 wrote: »

I remember seeing some science study showing that the greatest predictor/correlation among couples is levels of self-esteem. Takeaway being that it is how you see yourself that counts when finding a match. If you see yourself as a 9.5, you have every chance of matching with a 9.5

Was the study by one Doctor Walt Disney?

Daisy78 · 22-12-2020 12:18pm

Deleted User wrote: »

They exist alright,though not as much based on looks as preceived........it usually includes other preferences aswell (college educated,no kids etc etc)

I will say,that on a purely superficial looks based only level,ive often seen women go out with less attractive men,but almost never vice versa

I can think of at least five or six couples that I know where the guy is objectively more attractive than his partner/wife. In fact I seem to notice that scenario moreso these days than the other way around.

Idbatterim · 22-12-2020 12:39pm

joe40 wrote: »

It would be an interesting experiment to get say, 20 couples but separate them and then have volunteers interact with the people and try to guess which couples are together. (You could keep it heterosexual just to avoid more complication)

I would not fancy my ability to match the couples correctly.

love at first sight is kind of like this, in inverse and the "experts"on the australian verison, have a horrendous success rate

Mad_maxx · 22-12-2020 2:35pm

Daisy78 wrote: »

I can think of at least five or six couples that I know where the guy is objectively more attractive than his partner/wife. In fact I seem to notice that scenario moreso these days than the other way around.

my fiance has a tremendous personality , everyone loves her and she is very funny as well as a fantastic cook , she does put on weight very easily though , im objectively in physically better condition by a distance but i admit im a lot less likeable than she is

looks are not everything , i know a guy back from where im originally from , he is a bit like Dave from " The royale family " , decent but gormless , married a sexy chavy type , she cheats on him regularly and insults him in front of everyone , she married him because she and her family hadnt a bean while he had a steady modest sized business

Austria! · 22-12-2020 2:54pm

So on the question "are more attractive people more likely to go out with other attractive people than with unattractive people?" the after hours consensus is no.

Seriously? Did you forget to take your meds?

22-12-2020 2:54pm

completedit wrote: »

............ The 'real' women is always used to suggest the women is not conventionally attractive.

Deleted User wrote: »

TBH I don't know what that means. A "real woman".
.......

In plain language ........... a fat bird.

Hamachi · 22-12-2020 3:05pm

Daisy78 wrote: »

I can think of at least five or six couples that I know where the guy is objectively more attractive than his partner/wife. In fact I seem to notice that scenario moreso these days than the other way around.

Same here. My best mate from college is objectively a very handsome guy. He had his head wrecked by an extremely attractive girlfriend in his 20s. His wife is certainly no oil painting. I was surprised to see them together when I first met her.

I get it now after to getting to know her over the years. She’s a very nice, no BS woman, who is a great mother to their kids. However, I imagine strangers view them as quite mismatched.

Mad_maxx · 22-12-2020 4:28pm

Hamachi wrote: »

Same here. My best mate from college is objectively a very handsome guy. He had his head wrecked by an extremely attractive girlfriend in his 20s. His wife is certainly no oil painting. I was surprised to see them together when I first met her.

I get it now after to getting to know her over the years. She’s a very nice, no BS woman, who is a great mother to their kids. However, I imagine strangers view them as quite mismatched.

occasionally you encounter a couple where it makes no sense , my brother in law has an excellent job , pulls in over 90 k per annum in the pharmaceutical sector , tall good looking dude who works out four days per week before work , his wife is circa 5 ft 3 with a naturally shrill face , her personality is also a little prickly though shes a good sort overall , i just do not get what he ever saw in her though , my other half tells me his wife was the first non blonde he was ever in a relationship with so perhaps the stunners didnt work out for him and he went the other way ?

Daisy78 · 22-12-2020 5:14pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

occasionally you encounter a couple where it makes no sense , my brother in law has an excellent job , pulls in over 90 k per annum in the pharmaceutical sector , tall good looking dude who works out four days per week before work , his wife is circa 5 ft 3 with a naturally shrill face , her personality is also a little prickly though shes a good sort overall , i just do not get what he ever saw in her though , my other half tells me his wife was the first non blonde he was ever in a relationship with so perhaps the stunners didnt work out for him and he went the other way ?

Do you have to be a blonde to be in the “stunner” category?!!:D

Mad_maxx · 22-12-2020 5:24pm

Daisy78 wrote: »

Do you have to be a blonde to be in the “stunner” category?!!:D

certainly not for me anyway

The_Dark_Lord · 22-12-2020 5:54pm

Yes, they exist. The more options a person believes they have- the fussier they are going to be. Your average Joe, who's average in every sense of the word, doesn't have the same sexual selectivity as the good looking rich guy. Consequently, the good looking rich guy is going to be much fussier and can afford to reject more women than the 'average Joe' can. Similarly, the plain Jane doesn't have the kind of options the leggy, twenty-something stunner has. I think many long-term singletons who are looking for a relationship are in that situation because they have unrealistic standards. There is someone out there for everyone, you just have to be aware of your own options. You don't get naked with the soul.

completedit · 22-12-2020 5:54pm

Have been looking a lot into Attachment styles recently. It's so interesting that we think of opposites attracting but the evidence suggests that it's pretty much similarities that brings people together. Assholes will get with assholes, attractive with attractive, insecure with insecure etc. There's something quite orderly about this which to me is a lot easier to accept and find peace with than bad boys getting with good girls, which completely destroys my world view.

22-12-2020 6:45pm

Austria! wrote: »

So on the question "are more attractive people more likely to go out with other attractive people than with unattractive people?" the after hours consensus is no.

Seriously? Did you forget to take your meds?

Internet forums like to do this. Its a coping mechanism and an opportunity to reference the one statistical anomaly you know of in your life.

The reality is, as Chris Rock puts it, people fck across and up. Nobody fcks down.

Basically if you're a 5 you'll generally take 5 and up.

OscarMIlde · 22-12-2020 7:50pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

occasionally you encounter a couple where it makes no sense , my brother in law has an excellent job , pulls in over 90 k per annum in the pharmaceutical sector , tall good looking dude who works out four days per week before work , his wife is circa 5 ft 3 with a naturally shrill face , her personality is also a little prickly though shes a good sort overall , i just do not get what he ever saw in her though , my other half tells me his wife was the first non blonde he was ever in a relationship with so perhaps the stunners didnt work out for him and he went the other way ?

Are you insulting your own sister?

Dial Hard · 22-12-2020 7:52pm

OscarMIlde wrote: »

Are you insulting your own sister?

I'd say this guy is married to that guy's sister.

Mad_maxx · 22-12-2020 9:56pm

OscarMIlde wrote: »

Are you insulting your own sister?

sorry , we use overly loose definitions in our household , im referring to my fiances brother and his Mrs

AndrewJRenko · 28-12-2020 9:56pm

85603 wrote: »

Internet forums like to do this. Its a coping mechanism and an opportunity to reference the one statistical anomaly you know of in your life.

The reality is, as Chris Rock puts it, people fck across and up. Nobody fcks down.

Basically if you're a 5 you'll generally take 5 and up.

If one person is fcking up, then by definition, the other person is fcking down.

There's no fcking up without fcking down.

Walking_Wolf · 23-01-2021 1:23pm

I suppose "leagues" do exist. For example, a 28 year old guy who is very overweight and lives at home with his mammy, won't get a second glance from a good looking 28 year old woman who works in finance. She has more options on the dating marketplace and can afford to be fussy. The man I've described wouldn't have as many options.

Tig98 · 23-01-2021 3:11pm

Walking_Wolf wrote: »

I suppose "leagues" do exist. For example, a 28 year old guy who is very overweight and lives at home with his mammy, won't get a second glance from a good looking 28 year old woman who works in finance. She has more options on the dating marketplace and can afford to be fussy. The man I've described wouldn't have as many options.

I think values are a much more stringent and common league/filter than people think. Attraction is all subjective, and I think most people who have been in love recognise that. You end up not caring about their appearance because you love the very essence of them.

In your scenario they would not be compatible because the guy (seemingly) has less motivation than the woman. They would'nt be compatible personalities, theres too much difference between them. She's not gonna do a 10k run in the morning to come home to him reheating yesterday's pizza...

McGinniesta · 23-01-2021 4:13pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

A massive mickey and a little confidence will help level the playing field a little.

Beechwoodspark · 23-01-2021 4:23pm

I know a guy who is a deli counter server/stocker of a convenience store. I don’t work directly with him but for work I’m in the store regularly and interact with the staff there.

Mid 30s. Minimum wage or around about that.

Wouldn’t consider him a George clooney. Short and overweight. Drinks smokes and drugs. Tatts on neck.

Loud personality. I would say obnoxious.

Rough looking, Full of confidence and he would be the type of person to take the p1ss out of co workers etc for example If someone bought a new car he’d be the first to criticise it and make them the joke.

He can be very funny telling stories etc but always a cruel/bullying undertone to them.

He has dated a string of what I would call women out of his league. Bank workers/opticians/pharmacists/etc from the local area who frequently are in the shop over the last few years.

All of them younger than him and Some of them very attractive women.

Presumably he “charms” them, we are all a bit clueless as to how he does it repeatedly. He goes around the shop wearing a dirty work apron, I want to emphasise he is not a “hunk” or anything like that.

I’ll give 1 example. He was dating a slim blond “good looker” trainee pharmacist last year. Mid 20s.

She was in the shop one day And he literally roared ignorantly at her demanding she give him money for the rest of the week and she looked SO embarrassed and “rabbit caught in headlights”

It was an ignorant roar so much so everyone whether customers or staff looked over at them.

He then went around from the deli counter and blocked her exit from the shop and again loudly shouted at her to go to the in store atm and get money out for him, which she did.

He dated her for another few months and I know he got a generous birthday present from her in the meantime before the split.

I know another ex of his funded him and his friends trip to watch Liverpool on a lads wkend a few years ago. She herself didn’t go.

He curses them from a great height when he breaks up with them and has NO filter. He’d tell all sorts of intimate info about his exes to ppl in the shop.

Again I don’t know what his secret is.

He is not at all rich, not good looking, not particularly smart or funny. Bully tendencies. I THINK it boils down to brazenness and confidence.

completedit · 23-01-2021 7:10pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

I know a guy who is a deli counter server/stocker of a convenience store. I don’t work directly with him but for work I’m in the store regularly and interact with the staff there.

Mid 30s. Minimum wage or around about that.

Wouldn’t consider him a George clooney. Short and overweight. Drinks smokes and drugs. Tatts on neck.

Loud personality. I would say obnoxious.

Rough looking, Full of confidence and he would be the type of person to take the p1ss out of co workers etc for example If someone bought a new car he’d be the first to criticise it and make them the joke.

He can be very funny telling stories etc but always a cruel/bullying undertone to them.

He has dated a string of what I would call women out of his league. Bank workers/opticians/pharmacists/etc from the local area who frequently are in the shop over the last few years.

All of them younger than him and Some of them very attractive women.

Presumably he “charms” them, we are all a bit clueless as to how he does it repeatedly. He goes around the shop wearing a dirty work apron, I want to emphasise he is not a “hunk” or anything like that.

I’ll give 1 example. He was dating a slim blond “good looker” trainee pharmacist last year. Mid 20s.

She was in the shop one day And he literally roared ignorantly at her demanding she give him money for the rest of the week and she looked SO embarrassed and “rabbit caught in headlights”

It was an ignorant roar so much so everyone whether customers or staff looked over at them.

He then went around from the deli counter and blocked her exit from the shop and again loudly shouted at her to go to the in store atm and get money out for him, which she did.

He dated her for another few months and I know he got a generous birthday present from her in the meantime before the split.

I know another ex of his funded him and his friends trip to watch Liverpool on a lads wkend a few years ago. She herself didn’t go.

He curses them from a great height when he breaks up with them and has NO filter. He’d tell all sorts of intimate info about his exes to ppl in the shop.

Again I don’t know what his secret is.

He is not at all rich, not good looking, not particularly smart or funny. Bully tendencies. I THINK it boils down to brazenness and confidence.

Might have a big dick.

BorneTobyWilde · 23-01-2021 7:22pm

Maybe living with what ifs is not the thing to do. Best to fail than to never try.

23-01-2021 7:33pm

I think you normally find a balance in couples. If one is better looking than the other then something else balance them out like bigger personality, higher earner etc.

What you dont see lasting is when one is better looking, better personality and more financially successful than the other.

Flit clicker · 23-01-2021 7:33pm

Irish_rat · 23-01-2021 7:35pm

Looks is definetly not everything when it comes to leagues, your job and personality are up there too.

No point going out with a stunner if she is thick as a plank.

ofcork · 23-01-2021 8:49pm

That guy above is an example of women attracted to bad boys could never understand it myself.

23-01-2021 8:58pm

Bad boys don't work in deli counters on minimum wage ........... that aside the women going out with him must be sad cases. Plenty folk in good jobs who are attractive but who are deeply unhappy and/or insecure for whatever reason. For everyone of them he dates he probably chances his arm with 10s more.

Beechwoodspark · 23-01-2021 10:46pm

Augeo wrote: »

Bad boys don't work in deli counters on minimum wage ........... that aside the women going out with him must be sad cases. Plenty folk in good jobs who are attractive but who are deeply unhappy and/or insecure for whatever reason. For everyone of them he dates he probably chances his arm with 10s more.

That’s it. He flirts with every woman he meets in the shop. I’ve seen him flirting with women in their 80s for god sake. “How are you?” “All the better for seeing you gorgeous”

Vestiapx · 23-01-2021 11:28pm

Daisy78 wrote: »

I can think of at least five or six couples that I know where the guy is objectively more attractive than his partner/wife. In fact I seem to notice that scenario moreso these days than the other way around.

Is that an age thing, did they get together more recently. Men who stay healthy can be seen to get better looking as the get older while women with kids start looking rough if they don't concentrate of staying attractive. Happens from about 40 onwards. Is that the age range you are mixing with 40-50 ish

JasonStatham · 23-01-2021 11:31pm

When you hear a load of single lads on here talking about dating leagues and women in finance, you can't do nothing but laugh. Haha.

Surreptitious · 23-01-2021 11:38pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

That’s it. He flirts with every woman he meets in the shop. I’ve seen him flirting with women in their 80s for god sake. “How are you?” “All the better for seeing you gorgeous”

Maybe he cheers them up?

Vestiapx · 23-01-2021 11:41pm

JasonStatham wrote: »

When you hear a load of single lads on here talking about dating leagues and women in finance, you can't do nothing but laugh. Haha.

I don't get ya

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 12:03pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

How do you think prince philip got the gig?

He was penniless.

AND NO HE WAS NEVER GOOD LOOKING !

AdrianBalboa · 24-01-2021 12:09pm

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 12:12pm

leagues were meant to be broken op ....go chase your dream girl ...with her consent

Hyperbollix · 24-01-2021 12:31pm

AdrianBalboa wrote: »

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

Maybe he makes up for it by being self deprecating and humble.

Do dating 'leagues' exist?

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