She's too skinny...

CathyMoran · 02-02-2013 12:53pm

I have seen that some women who are very thin do make nasty comments to women who are still a healthy weight but have curves.

amdublin · 02-02-2013 12:59pm

Curves are all well and good (great in fact!) but when your curves consist of big blobs of fat and muffin top you can call yourself a BBW all you like but you're actually fat.

mood · 02-02-2013 1:00pm

CathyMoran wrote: »

I have seen that some women who are very thin do make nasty comments to women who are still a healthy weight but have curves.

I've never see women make nasty comments to overweight women. It's the slim women who get the horrible comments in my experience (from both other slim women and overweight women). And not just me but some of my slim friend/relations as well. It's so unfair. I am a healthy weight (not only my opinion but the opinion of my doctor) so why try to make out there is something wrong with me. I also seem to get more nasty remarks when such women see me eating! It is just so horrible.

CathyMoran · 02-02-2013 1:03pm

amdublin wrote: »

Curves are all well and good (great in fact!) but when your curves consist of big blobs of fat and muffin top you can call yourself a BBW all you like but you're actually fat.

That is actually apple shape and the person may not be overweight. I have been called fat because my hips are a size 10, my waist a size 6-8 and my top a size 10 (hourglass) and my BMI 20.6. So I am out - in - out shape. I am a healthy weight and height according to my doctors too.

mood · 02-02-2013 1:05pm

CathyMoran wrote: »

That is actually apple shape and the person may not be overweight. I have been called fat because my hips are a size 10, my waist a size 6-8 and my top a size 10 (hourglass) and my BMI 20.6. So I am out - in - out shape.

Muffin top can also just mean that the woman in question is wearing jeans that are too tight or ill fitted.

Cathy it sounds like you have a great figure.

purplecow1977 · 02-02-2013 1:10pm

For the record, I'm well overweight [about 3 stone] and I'm so incredibly envious of slim figures. I wouldn't say it in a bitchy way, but I might say 'oh look at the figure on ya ya lucky thing' [even though on reflection it could have nothing to do with luck, and that person could be sweating it away every day to get that enviable figure!].

purplecow1977 · 02-02-2013 1:12pm

mood wrote: »

I've never see women make nasty comments to overweight women. It's the slim women who get the horrible comments in my experience (from both other slim women and overweight women). And not just me but some of my slim friend/relations as well. It's so unfair. I am a healthy weight (not only my opinion but the opinion of my doctor) so why try to make out there is something wrong with me. I also seem to get more nasty remarks when such women see me eating! It is just so horrible.

Are you serious?!

Fat/overweight women get SO many nasty comments, mostly from men but women make them behind their back.

I KNOW this.

purplecow1977 · 02-02-2013 1:13pm

amdublin wrote: »

Curves are all well and good (great in fact!) but when your curves consist of big blobs of fat and muffin top you can call yourself a BBW all you like but you're actually fat.

Not a very considerate comment IMO.

mood · 02-02-2013 1:14pm

purplecow1977 wrote: »

For the record, I'm well overweight [about 3 stone] and I'm so incredibly envious of slim figures. I wouldn't say it in a bitchy way, but I might say 'oh look at the figure on ya ya lucky thing' [even though on reflection it could have nothing to do with luck, and that person could be sweating it away every day to get that enviable figure!].

Does that do pass b*tchy remarks seem really annoyed when they realise I am just lucky! And the comments have got once on once occasion like this.

mood · 02-02-2013 1:15pm

purplecow1977 wrote: »

Are you serious?!

Fat/overweight women get SO many nasty comments, mostly from men but women make them behind their back.

I KNOW this.

Maybe but I've never witnessed it.

purplecow1977 · 02-02-2013 1:15pm

mood wrote: »

Does that do pass b*tchy remarks seem really annoyed when they realise I am just lucky! And the comments have got once on once occasion like this.

Sorry, what???

mood · 02-02-2013 1:17pm

purplecow1977 wrote: »

Sorry, what???

When SOME women who pass nasty remarks about me being slim they seem to be more put out when they find out I don't watch my diet or exercise. I had one nasty cow insist in front of new work colleagues that I must be making myself vomit. That there was no way I could eat normally and be a size 8. I thought about reporting her to HR for giving me such abuse but I was new and didn't want to rock the boat.

purplecow1977 · 02-02-2013 1:20pm

mood wrote: »

When SOME women who pass nasty remarks about me being slim they seem to be more put out when they find out I don't watch my diet or exercise. I had one nasty cow insist in front of new work colleagues that I must be making myself vomit. that there was no way I could eat normally and be a size 8.

AH I understand. Sorry, When I said that I might say 'you're so lucky' I wanted to make sure that people didn't think that I thought it was JUST down to luck [although in some cases, in yours, it is!] but in others, it's often down to hard work & a good diet. That's all I meant. I wouldn't be 'put out' if someone is genuinely lucky with your figure - I'd still be envious, but I can't help how I was made!

Good on ya being able to eat what you want & still have a lovely figure

Edited to add, what that girl said was horrible. Girls are horrible. They'll pick on anything - and it usually comes down to their own insecurities

mood · 02-02-2013 1:29pm

purplecow1977 wrote: »

Edited to add, what that girl said was horrible. Girls are horrible. They'll pick on anything - and it usually comes down to their own insecurities

I know. I ignore most of it and acknowledge it is their problem not mine. But still I think why should I have to listen to such crap.

If I posted here saying a boyfriend said such things to me I would get huge support but because it's women who say such horrible comments most people seem to think it's ok.

Salty · 02-02-2013 1:45pm

April O Neill wrote: »

Like I said, it's not right, but maybe we should tackle why women are under such pressure to look a certain way, instead of an "us against the jealous ones" mentality. That mentality in itself is quite bitchy, especially as you can't tell in every case if the commenter is actually envious. And as has been said a number of times on this thread, it's not just slim women that receive comments. There's an idea that this isn't the case, for some reason.

I never said that all comments come from jealousy, and neither did I say that only slim women receive them. Obviously people can make comments but be well meaning, just their wording could be off! And I've heard just as much bitching about people being overweight as being slim.

April O Neill · 02-02-2013 2:06pm

mood wrote: »

I've never see women make nasty comments to overweight women.

They happen, believe me.

lindtee · 02-02-2013 2:32pm

I am going to put my hand up and say that I am jealous of women who are naturally skinny. I have a bmi of 22 and ideally would like to be lighter but it is such a struggle to stay at the weight I am not to mind to lose more.

However, jealously aside, I would never, ever, ever say anything to anyone about their weight. It just is none of my business as I know that a lot of women are very sensitive about their weight no matter what their size. I am very, very touche about my size and weight and tend to get very paranoid about any passing remarks made to about my size and weight as even though my bmi says I am ok, I do think that I look fat.

mood · 02-02-2013 2:37pm

SmokeyEyes wrote: »

I'm currently trying to lose weight and having been bigger and smaller and having to really work to keep weight off I feel the need now to be happy in celebrating who I am whatever weight I am while still being conscious that being overweight isn't healthy. I need to do that for my own sanity because I'm sick of feeling that I'm sexy when I'm slim and then not when I'm bigger, it's demoralising for myself.

I'm incredibly lucky that my boyfriend genuinely thinks I'm hot whether I'm bigger or smaller and when I've asked him he's said me being healthy is the only thing he wants so if that means being fitter than so be it but he finds me attractive whether I've lost 5lbs or gained 5lbs.

I'm saying that because I know he genuinely thinks that but when I'm around other women (having lost weight before and then put it back on) I've always been congratulated on any losses (even from people I hardly know who suddenly feel it's their business to discuss it) and then kinda looked up and down when I've put weight back on with a knowing look (which is one of the worst feelings in the world).

My whole point is, my boyfriend loves me for me whether that's bigger or smaller and I need to learn to do the same. I want to be slim because I'm happier when I am but I do understand why it's important for bigger women to feel confident and 'own' their shape, just the same as very fit girls would. Health is the important thing, the most important thing, so if that comes from a very skinny girl or a bigger girl who works out a lot then that's the main thing. I just think women need to learn to lay off each other about weight!:)

I've just started Weight Watchers so I'm hoping now to lose weight but I need to think of myself as attractive and nice now so that my happiness doesn't just come from a lower number on the scales!

It sounds like you have a great guy. I have to say I do comment when I notice people loose weight. I don't notice unless it is a lot however. I have seen people work very hard to loose weight so thought it would be rude not to comment. How do others feel about this?

Malari · 02-02-2013 2:48pm

I know of one person who likes to hear it from others when they notice weight loss.

Another friend struggles with weight and I'm never sure whether to say anything :-/ sometimes it can just be what she's wearing that makes her look slimmer and when I comment that she looks good, she tells me she's put on weight! So I usually just keep it to 'you look great' type comments.

Madam_X · 02-02-2013 2:51pm

I don't think it would be rude not to comment. I still think it's better to say nothing, unless you know the person really well obviously.

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I am an hourglass, well my definition anyway, about 8-10 on the waist but a 12 on the hips and bust. I don't always dress in a way that shows my actual body shape well, especially in winter. My weight doesn't fluctuate very much, but I suppose that with a lot of my heavy winter clothes, you get the impression that I don't have a waist.

I get asked if I have put on weight, would I think of weight watchers, etc. When people see me dressed well, I get comments about my weight loss, how there is half of much of me there as people thought, etc. It never ends..

Wow, the perfect figure IMO. Madness that even you are made to feel fat...

borderlinemeath · 02-02-2013 3:09pm

It's tough to be really skinny. My sister is a size 6/8, 5ft7 and cannot keep weight on. She put on a few pounds a few years back when she quit smoking but it's gone again. She eats well, loves food in fact, and treats herself to chocolate and crisps when she feels like it but she cannot put on any weight at all.

Not only is it frustrating to hear people say 'oh you wouldn't understand, you're skinny' but she has image issues as she thinks people see her as anorexic. She wears big puffy coats for most of the year so she can hide her body when she's out and about. She can never get clothes to fit that are loose enough to hide the bones yet fitted enough so she doesn't look like she's wearing clothes far too big. Jeans are a nightmare for her to buy. She hasn't worn a dress or a skirt in years as she's embarrassed with her stick thin legs. Her wardrobe staples are shirts worn over jeans with big cardigans to bulk her out a bit.

sherbett32 · 02-02-2013 4:52pm

I'm fairly average 5'6 9 stone. Last year I got very sick and my weight went down to 7 stone. I looked awful. More than one person asked me "how did I manage to lose all the weight"

Some very skewed attitudes to weight & size.

mood · 02-02-2013 4:55pm

sherbett32 wrote: »

I'm fairly average 5'6 9 stone. Last year I got very sick and my weight went down to 7 stone. I looked awful. More than one person asked me "how did I manage to lose all the weight"

Some very skewed attitudes to weight & size.

Thats crazy. 7 stone would most likely be way too light for someone your height. I can't believe people assumed you go to that weight on purpose. :eek:

padi89 · 02-02-2013 5:50pm

borderlinemeath wrote: »

It's tough to be really skinny. My sister is a size 6/8, 5ft7 and cannot keep weight on. She put on a few pounds a few years back when she quit smoking but it's gone again. She eats well, loves food in fact, and treats herself to chocolate and crisps when she feels like it but she cannot put on any weight at all.

Unless you sister has some type of medical condition there is pretty much no way she cannot put weight on and keep it on. She simply is not consuming enough calories it's that simple. Every skinny person I know says the same thing but when you ask them to write down what they eat dispite eating junk it's still below what they need to consume.

mood · 02-02-2013 5:55pm

padi89 wrote: »

Unless you sister has some type of medical condition there is pretty much no way she cannot put weight on and keep it on. She simply is not consuming enough calories it's that simple. Every skinny person I know says the same thing but when you ask them to write down what they eat dispite eating junk it's still below what they need to consume.

I disagree. No matter what I eat and how much I don't put on weight. I've gone on holidays etc with female friends and eat considerable more than they eat. However, this girl could go to a nutritionist and join a gym and do weight to try to gain weight.

borderlinemeath · 02-02-2013 5:59pm

padi89 wrote: »

Unless you sister has some type of medical condition there is pretty much no way she cannot put weight on and keep it on. She simply is not consuming enough calories it's that simple. Every skinny person I know says the same thing but when you ask them to write down what they eat dispite eating junk it's still below what they need to consume.

She has a really fast metabolism and stresses a lot about various things. For breakfast she has toast or if she's running late she gets a croissant or a danish in the shop, she has mid morning snacks then lunch is usually something like soup & sambo or pasta, for her dinner she has potatoes, veg and meat or fish. She loves chinese takeaway and chipper chips and I've seen her put away a big bag of kettle chips all by herself.

There's no hidden disorder or anything like that, she genuinely stresses about her lack of weight and how bad she looks.

padi89 · 02-02-2013 6:03pm

mood wrote: »

I disagree. No matter what I eat and how much I don't put on weight. I've gone on holidays etc with female friends and eat considerable more than they eat. However, this girl could go to a nutritionist and join a gym and do weight to try to gain weight.[/QUOTE

There is no agree or disagree, you simply are not consuming enough calories.Comparing yourself to others is pointless it what YOU need. I eat 5-6 meals a day to maintain my weight more than people I know who are overweight, if I need to gain I consume more, if I need to loose I consume less.

mood · 02-02-2013 6:03pm

borderlinemeath wrote: »

She has a really fast metabolism and stresses a lot about various things. For breakfast she has toast or if she's running late she gets a croissant or a danish in the shop, she has mid morning snacks then lunch is usually something like soup & sambo or pasta, for her dinner she has potatoes, veg and meat or fish. She loves chinese takeaway and chipper chips and I've seen her put away a big bag of kettle chips all by herself.

There's no hidden disorder or anything like that, she genuinely stresses about her lack of weight and how bad she looks.

I eat a lot more than that on a daily basis!

If she is serious aobut putting on weight why doesn't she see a nutritionist and join a gym and do weights?

Madam_X · 02-02-2013 6:04pm

padi89 wrote: »

Unless you sister has some type of medical condition there is pretty much no way she cannot put weight on and keep it on. She simply is not consuming enough calories it's that simple. Every skinny person I know says the same thing but when you ask them to write down what they eat dispite eating junk it's still below what they need to consume.

It's unusual, but a small number of people seem to stay thin. A male friend of mine for example is aged 34 and nine stone with a tiny waist. He loves his beer and white bread, the only exercise he does is walking to and from work (which isn't far and there's just a small hill on the walk back). He never goes out for a long walk or run, ever. He sits around a lot watching TV, on the net, listening to music, reading. Now I will say he doesn't eat a huge amount, so that's definitely part of it. But when he's on the beer (every week) he sinks loads of pints. And what he does eat is hugely comprised of high-calorie foods. I know if I had his lifestyle I would be pudgy. He would actually like to be bigger, because sometimes he finds it hard to buy clothes that suit him.

It can be the reverse too - a small number of people who put on weight more easily than the average person.

Both of the above are unusual, and generally speaking, the way to lose weight is reduce/burn calories; the way to put on weight is to exceed calorific requirements/be sedentary... but there are exceptions. Perhaps those people have unusually fast/slow metabolisms?

mood · 02-02-2013 6:06pm

padi89 wrote: »

mood wrote: »

I disagree. No matter what I eat and how much I don't put on weight. I've gone on holidays etc with female friends and eat considerable more than they eat. However, this girl could go to a nutritionist and join a gym and do weight to try to gain weight.[/QUOTE

There is no agree or disagree, you simply are not consuming enough calories.Comparing yourself to others is pointless it what YOU need. I eat 5-6 meals a day to maintain my weight more than people I know who are overweight, if I need to gain I consume more, if I need to loose I consume less.

I am consuming enough calories. I have a huge appetite like all my family. I am a healthy size and weight for my height and build. My doctor and consultant are very happy with me height and over all health. Just because I don't put on weight despite eating a lot doesn't mean I need to put on weight.

She's too skinny...

Comments