She's too skinny...

meeeeh

gossipgirl10 wrote: »

I have to agree that sizes can vary an awful lot from shop to shop but at the same time I think it's good to use these sizes at least as a guideline if you are trying to maintain your weight at a healthy level for you... i'm a size 10/12 and if I went shopping and tried something on in the 12 and it was too small I wouldn't automatically go and buy the size 14 instead... for me personally if I am shopping and suddenly the size I have always worn for years no longer fits then I try to improve my eating / exercise habits to lose a few pounds.

I'm a bit of a hoarder when it comes to clothes I still have stuff from years ago that I still wear as I have remained the same size give or take a few pounds so I find it hard to understand how people who gradually put on more and more weight and become dangerously obese will just keep buying the bigger size every time their current clothes get too small. surely it must get to a point where you think enough is enough and try and improve your lifestyle and overall health

This. And I'm not against commenting on weight. Not all comments are bitchy, some are made when people are genuinely worried. Those are usually made by people who know you well and no matter how insulted you get they are well meaning. I think weight fluctuation can tell a lot and can be a sign that someone is under stress or ill.

I have no time though for nasty comments that some people are so fond of. I just ignore them. But there is also third kind of comments that men in your life make when your arse or breasts are getting too small or big for their liking. I usually just laugh at them.

April O Neill

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Well these kind of debates will always start in the media. I have heard and been involved in discussing the topic many a time. For some women it is an issue as they get hung up in having to be that size, I've seen it happen,

Maybe they do, but to me this seemed to be the media getting really worked up about nothing. This was a step up from any other body-related media stuff, IMO.

I have genuinely never discussed it or heard of anyone trying to get to that size.

mood

meeeeh wrote: »

This. And I'm not against commenting on weight. Not all comments are bitchy, some are made when people are genuinely worried. Those are usually made by people who know you well and no matter how insulted you get they are well meaning. I think weight fluctuation can tell a lot and can be a sign that someone is under stress or ill.

I have no time though for nasty comments that some people are so fond of. I just ignore them. But there is also third kind of comments that men in your life make when your arse or breasts are getting too small or big for their liking. I usually just laugh at them.

But when you have been the same size and weight since your teen years with not fluctuation in weight at all it is obvious people are just being nasty. If you doctor is not concerned about your weight then there is not a problem. I've had nasty comments from people I've only meet which is crazy.

Username567

"She's lost too much weight" often means "I'm not comfortable with her being more attractive than me" IMO.

Noodleworm

In people with eating disorders being told their 'too skinny' is often actually desirable.
I think people get very confused by the whole curvy title too. Its generally used not to insult skinny women, but to make the more average sized women that their is nothing wrong with them. Most women in the healthy weight range fell feel uncomfortable with their body in some way. People tend to forget the female body is supposed to have some fat storage.

The people who are actually fat are likely not in denial, but just trying to in some way feel ok about themselves, as these days everyone seems to think fat-shaming is justified, not realizing overweight people are very aware of their size, and would generally need some confidence and self esteem if they are to change their life style to achieve a healthier weight.

meeeeh

mood wrote: »

But when you have been the same size and weight since your teen years with not fluctuation in weight at all it is obvious people are just being nasty. If you doctor is not concerned about your weight then there is not a problem. I've had nasty comments from people I've only meet which is crazy.

All I'm saying is that not all comments about weight are the same. It depends on the circumstances. And I think parents or close friends should comment when they are genuinely worried. There is a difference between nasty or just thoughtless comments and comments made when people are worried about you. I met a friend after about eight months and she didn't lose her baby weight but more likely gained some. My only thought was she must be under stress, I hope she is ok. I didn't say anything because it is not my place to comment since I see her only sporadically now but I am a bit worried. And I hope that my close ones would say something when they would be concerned for my health.

mood

Noodleworm wrote: »

In people with eating disorders being told their 'too skinny' is often actually desirable.
I think people get very confused by the whole curvy title too. Its generally used not to insult skinny women, but to make the more average sized women that their is nothing wrong with them. Most women in the healthy weight range fell feel uncomfortable with their body in some way. People tend to forget the female body is supposed to have some fat storage.

The people who are actually fat are likely not in denial, but just trying to in some way feel ok about themselves, as these days everyone seems to think fat-shaming is justified, not realizing overweight people are very aware of their size, and would generally need some confidence and self esteem if they are to change their life style to achieve a healthier weight.

But why should I have to listen to nasty comments about my body so someone can make themselves feel good? I have no issues with my body but do feel bad sometimes as a result of such comments.

These days everyone seems to think slim-shaming is justified.

mood

meeeeh wrote: »

All I'm saying is that not all comments about weight are the same. It depends on the circumstances. And I think parents or close friends should comment when they are genuinely worried. There is a difference between nasty or just thoughtless comments and comments made when people are worried about you. I met a friend after about eight months and she didn't lose her baby weight but more likely gained some. My only thought was she must be under stress, I hope she is ok. I didn't say anything because it is not my place to comment since I see her only sporadically now but I am a bit worried. And I hope that my close ones would say something when they would be concerned for my health.

But in MY case I have never lost weight so there has never been concern just nastiness.

April O Neill

Username567 wrote: »

"She's lost too much weight" often means "I'm not comfortable with her being more attractive than me" IMO.

This could be part of it indeed, but as women are judged so much by our looks, is this really that surprising?

meeeeh

mood wrote: »

But in MY case I have never lost weight so there has never been concern just nastiness.

I was talking in general. I'm lucky that people around me were never overly nasty and only comments I'd get would be toughtless. The one that takes a biscuit is my fathers if I have trouble zipping up my coat (size 12) a month after giving birth when he is obese since his thirties.

Greenduck

I think about this subject a lot being a yo-yo dieter and exerciser. Everytime I would go on holidays I would always admire different ladies bodies and wish I could look like them. But then if you realllly look to everyones bodies you would see that we all really do come in all shapes and sizes...its very rare that someone would be considered 'perfect'. If they are, they usually get paid to look like that.

A good website for this is www.mybodygallery.com.

You can put in your weight, height, size and body shape and get 100's of different girls, all with completely different body types. This just proves that clothes sizing shouldn't be something that we can rely on as an accurate measure of our size.

I have no idea why women are so fascinated and obsessed with their own bodies and other girls bodies. You would never hear men bitching about how big another blokes biceps are! maybe its a cultural or media thing but its really not healthy.

Abi

I don't really have too much to add other than inappropriate comments do come from either end of the spectrum.

Ive seen the ups and downs in weight over the years from Claire from steps. She currently claims she's loving and embracing her curves etc, I just think she looks unwell if I'm being honest.

The main issue is health in my book, not numbers.

Stepping Stone

I am an hourglass, well my definition anyway, about 8-10 on the waist but a 12 on the hips and bust. I don't always dress in a way that shows my actual body shape well, especially in winter. My weight doesn't fluctuate very much, but I suppose that with a lot of my heavy winter clothes, you get the impression that I don't have a waist.

I get asked if I have put on weight, would I think of weight watchers, etc. When people see me dressed well, I get comments about my weight loss, how there is half of much of me there as people thought, etc. It never ends.

I have only ever commented on somebody else's weight when I know the full story and even then only when I thought it was necessary (complimented post pregnancy weight loss cos I knew she was unhappy with her weight).

I have friends who are a 6-8 and are happy and healthy, I have friends who are 16+ and are happy and healthy. I also have friends who are within the perfect weight range and are certainly not happy or healthy.

My body is far from ideal but people calling attention to it makes me so uncomfortable. I know that it is hard to dress at the best of times, I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I wouldn't trade either. Short of putting on a lot of weight or losing a lot of weight, this is how I am shaped.

It annoys the hell out of me when I see those things on Facebook. Beauty is i n the eye of the beholder etc but the constant need to justify and comment on weight is ridiculous.

Sunshineboo

It annoys me so much when celebs go on about loving their "curves" when they are clearly overweight which is unhealthy, it sends a bad message to girls just as a underweight and unhealthy woman being glorified would send a bad message. When I think of curvy I would think of somebody like Jennifer Lawrence, she is very slim but still has a lovely shapely figure.

I'm a size ten and 5 8 but would be quite shapely a few years ago I lost a bit of weight and people were commenting that I looked anorexic, etc, I just found it so rude, just as I would if somebody was calling me fat. The media really does have a lot to answer for though you cant buy a magazine without somebody slated or glorified for their weight, its become an obsession.

April O Neill

Abi wrote: »

I don't really have too much to add other than inappropriate comments do come from either end of the spectrum.

Ive seen the ups and downs in weight over the years from Claire from steps. She currently claims she's loving and embracing her curves etc, I just think she looks unwell if I'm being honest.

The main issue is health in my book, not numbers.

Unwell? She's quite overweight, but unwell would be something I'd say of someone who looks somehow sickly.

Madam_X

One of my best friends used to be quite overweight - not huge, but could afford to lose some weight. Still had fab curves though and was in great proportion. So she embarked on weight-loss and just shrank (totally healthy method, just worked amazingly hard). One evening I blurted out "Don't get too skinny, your curves are awesome and it would be a shame to lose them!" Then we paused and burst out laughing, knowing it was totally the kinda thing a woman would get accused of jealousy for saying.

I genuinely, genuinely didn't mean I was uncomfortable with her losing weight though - I was actually delighted for her because she was unhappy with her body for so long. However, I DO think it would be a shame for her to lose her hourglass shape as it looks so sexy. But you can still get slim and not lose curves, and that seems to be the way with her. She's lost about three stone now and looks incredible.

mood

I would love an hour glass shape

H8GHOTI

smash wrote: »

... I mean, if I said to a 'curvy' woman that they were too fat I'd have strips torn off me.

....

Am I the only one who thinks it's offensive to call someone too skinny when they're not when they're clearly not anorexic?

Chris Rock does a bit about this in one of his shows.
How it's ok for fat people to mock skinny people but not the other way around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVIs0D2acgw

mood

H8GHOTI wrote: »

Chris Rock does a bit about this in one of his shows.
How it's ok for fat people to mock skinny people but not the other way around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVIs0D2acgw

Unfortunately that's how it is.

purplecow1977

i think a lot of the time it's not that fat people MOCK skinny people, it's that their envious of their figures, particularly the ones who say they don't have to work for their figure. Yes the slimmer ones may wish they put on some weight but that's still not going to stop the heavier person from wishing they had the slimmer figure.

gillapino

I've enjoyed ready people's opinions on this thread, i often get the your so skinny comment, how can you stay slim but eat whatever you want, I'm a size 8/10 and around 5ft 3, so pretty average, rarely gain weight or lose weight just have a quick metabolism. Check out this blog post i found really interesting on the topic.
http://thunderandthreads.blogspot.ie/2012/11/the-weight-debate-diets-real-women.html

Mods feel free to delete if linking blogposts isn't allowed.

mood

purplecow1977 wrote: »

i think a lot of the time it's not that fat people MOCK skinny people, it's that their envious of their figures, particularly the ones who say they don't have to work for their figure. Yes the slimmer ones may wish they put on some weight but that's still not going to stop the heavier person from wishing they had the slimmer figure.

Yes. People (I hate to say but women) I've only meet seem more put out when they realise I eat loads and still don't put on weight.

Men have also told me I'm slim but in a totally different way. It's said as a compliment not a put down.

April O Neill

H8GHOTI wrote: »

Chris Rock does a bit about this in one of his shows.
How it's ok for fat people to mock skinny people but not the other way around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVIs0D2acgw

purplecow1977 wrote: »

i think a lot of the time it's not that fat people MOCK skinny people, it's that their envious of their figures, particularly the ones who say they don't have to work for their figure. Yes the slimmer ones may wish they put on some weight but that's still not going to stop the heavier person from wishing they had the slimmer figure.

This is because a slim figure is the ideal, and women are under huge pressure to have one. So it's not surprising really. Be a bit understanding. It's not right, but I can see why it happens.

Salty

April O Neill wrote: »

This is because a slim figure is the ideal, and women are under huge pressure to have one. So it's not surprising really. Be a bit understanding.

Jealousy is not an excuse to make underhanded comments at other people for any reason at all, not least when it comes to weight.

SmokeyEyes

I'm currently trying to lose weight and having been bigger and smaller and having to really work to keep weight off I feel the need now to be happy in celebrating who I am whatever weight I am while still being conscious that being overweight isn't healthy. I need to do that for my own sanity because I'm sick of feeling that I'm sexy when I'm slim and then not when I'm bigger, it's demoralising for myself.

I'm incredibly lucky that my boyfriend genuinely thinks I'm hot whether I'm bigger or smaller and when I've asked him he's said me being healthy is the only thing he wants so if that means being fitter than so be it but he finds me attractive whether I've lost 5lbs or gained 5lbs.

I'm saying that because I know he genuinely thinks that but when I'm around other women (having lost weight before and then put it back on) I've always been congratulated on any losses (even from people I hardly know who suddenly feel it's their business to discuss it) and then kinda looked up and down when I've put weight back on with a knowing look (which is one of the worst feelings in the world).

My whole point is, my boyfriend loves me for me whether that's bigger or smaller and I need to learn to do the same. I want to be slim because I'm happier when I am but I do understand why it's important for bigger women to feel confident and 'own' their shape, just the same as very fit girls would. Health is the important thing, the most important thing, so if that comes from a very skinny girl or a bigger girl who works out a lot then that's the main thing. I just think women need to learn to lay off each other about weight!:)

I've just started Weight Watchers so I'm hoping now to lose weight but I need to think of myself as attractive and nice now so that my happiness doesn't just come from a lower number on the scales!

Madam_X

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Well these kind of debates will always start in the media. I have heard and been involved in discussing the topic many a time. For some women it is an issue as they get hung up in having to be that size, I've seen it happen,

I think the size 0 thing was a media creation though. Other debates start in society, then make it into the media.

The size 0 thing didn't seem to be part of real life, according to my observations anyway.

April O Neill

_meehan_ wrote: »

Jealousy is not an excuse to make underhanded comments at other people for any reason at all, not least when it comes to weight.

Like I said, it's not right, but maybe we should tackle why women are under such pressure to look a certain way, instead of an "us against the jealous ones" mentality. That mentality in itself is quite bitchy, especially as you can't tell in every case if the commenter is actually envious. And as has been said a number of times on this thread, it's not just slim women that receive comments. There's an idea that this isn't the case, for some reason.

CathyMoran

I have had someone in the past saying that I was too fat when my BMI was 22 which is anything but though I do have curves which she did not. She was incredibly skinny but did not eat a thing (she was a relative that I was living with for a while) and was not ill.

April O Neill

CathyMoran wrote: »

I have had someone in the past saying that I was too fat when my BMI was 22 which is anything but though I do have curves which she did not. She was incredibly skinny but did not eat a thing (she was a relative that I was living with for a while) and was not ill.

Wow, that's crazy!

mood

CathyMoran wrote: »

I have had someone in the past saying that I was too fat when my BMI was 22 which is anything but though I do have curves which she did not. She was incredibly skinny but did not eat a thing (she was a relative that I was living with for a while) and was not ill.

If she was not eating she probably was ill ie eating disorder.