Honestly...Do you ever feel like you will be alone forever?

Wanderer2010 · 13-10-2012 1:14pm

Yes I do feel like that at times, Im in my thirties and still single and society seems completely set up for couples- hotel rooms are cheaper, pubs are full of couples, social occassions revolve around couples meeting up etc and it can feel like you are a bit of a freak when you are alone but that said, there are lots of people in the same boat and the singles do have plenty of chances to get out there and mix without feeling the pressure to get a partner- singles only holidays, evening courses, various clubs and nothing better than a solo holiday you never know who you are going to meet. Its up to you to decide if you are happy being single and to go out and enjoy the above activities or if you would prefer a partner and to go out and try and find a common bond with the opposite sex.

Madam_X · 13-10-2012 1:14pm

thee glitz wrote: »

It's shyte being single. We're the lowest of the low, the sociopaths of the fcukin earth.
I don't hate couples, they're just presuming cnuts. We on the other hand are looked down on by presumptuous cnuts.
It's a shyte state of affairs and all the alone time in the world won't make any fcukin difference.

I've never felt that way when single. Although being single and unhappy in oneself must suck. But I do think a lot of the inadequacies some single people can feel are self-imposed/imagined/too built up.
There are things you miss all right when single - e.g. Christmas is hard in some respects if you're used to being in a relationship for it, but there are very appealing aspects to being single too if you're an independent person.

corktina · 13-10-2012 1:27pm

there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
You can be lonely in a crowd .

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

The years 16 to 25 ish are horrible I reckon...you don't know what or who you are properly.

1ZRed · 13-10-2012 1:27pm

thee glitz wrote: »

I was just saying is all...

I'm sure I'll change my tune when I meet a suitable mrs glitz. I'll be all like
'Owww look at me AH, Now I’m really happy! I’m the magical man, from Happy Land,
who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane'.

Btw, you're being sarcastic

thee glitz · 13-10-2012 1:36pm

Madam_X wrote: »

I've never felt that way when single. Although being single and unhappy in oneself must suck. But I do think a lot of the inadequacies some single people can feel are self-imposed/imagined/too built up.
There are things you miss all right when single - e.g. Christmas is hard in some respects if you're used to being in a relationship for it, but there are very appealing aspects to being single too if you're an independent person.

In case you missed the reference - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29-LRuuqFT0

As Wanderer2010 says, a lot of things are couples oriented and there are a lot of economies to be made from being
in a relationship. These reinforce ideas that society expects you to couple up, ideas that others are feeling this
pressure too yet you still haven't made an impression on someone enough that they'd want to give it a shot with you.
Not that I haven't been in relationships and had great experiences during them. Not that it's better to be seeing
someone for the sake of it, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone there you liked and trusted to share life's eh... ups and downs.

1ZRed · 13-10-2012 1:51pm

corktina wrote: »

there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
You can be lonely in a crowd .

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

The years 16 to 25 ish are horrible I reckon...you don't know what or who you are properly.

There's not just one person for everyone, there are tens of thousands that could be so well compatible with you. I don't believe in soul mates at all but I believe there are thousands that could be very well suited to you. You just carry on until you find someone like that.

Tbh the fear of being alone forever doesn't bother me. If you still have good friends and family behind you, you're doing damn well in my eyes.

Eve_Dublin · 13-10-2012 2:05pm

Happiness really should be what you're focusing on. Don't presume those in relationships are happy out of it. That's often not the case as we all know (and probably all too well). I find even in a relationship, that my happiness is down to me as individual. If I depended on himself to keep me afloat, I'd be a nervous wreak. I do many things on my own and for myself and always have. I know this man loves me and I love him but I still feel lonely sometimes and I still have my down periods and I still dread work on Sundays, still get bored sometimes, still have problems paying the bills sometimes, still wished I'd more going on in my life etc. Having another person only fills the void to a degree. The rest is up to you. The idea that it's all sunshine and lollipops all the time is a fallacy. Your own happiness is down to you.

shopaholic01 · 13-10-2012 2:20pm

corktina wrote: »

there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
You can be lonely in a crowd .

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

The years 16 to 25 ish are horrible I reckon...you don't know what or who you are properly.

Ironically the years when you probably look your best and agonise about 'fitting in' and worry more about others opinion of you, than your own.

BTW, you can be incredibly lonely in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship too - more so than being single.

1ZRed wrote: »

There's not just one person for everyone, there are tens of thousands that could be so well compatible with you. I don't believe in soul mates at all but I believe there are thousands that could be very well suited to you. You just carry on until you find someone like that.

Tbh the fear of being alone forever doesn't bother me. If you still have good friends and family behind you, you're doing damn well in my eyes.

So true, Redzer! I've had five 'the ones' to date.

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Happiness really should be what you're focusing on. Don't presume those in relationships are happy out of it. That's often not the case as we all know (and probably all too well). I find even in a relationship, that my happiness is down to me as individual. If I depended on himself to keep me afloat, I'd be a nervous wreak. I do many things on my own and for myself and always have. I know this man loves me and I love him but I still feel lonely sometimes and I still have my down periods and I still dread work on Sundays, still get bored sometimes, still have problems paying the bills sometimes, still wished I'd more going on in my life etc. Having another person only fills the void to a degree. The rest is up to you. The idea that it's all sunshine and lollipops all the time is a fallacy. Your own happiness is down to you.

You said it better than I could have. It's sad that so many people feel somehow odd or different, and think that a relationship is the answer. It's probably why so many people stay in unhappy relationships.

mud · 13-10-2012 2:49pm

"Alone forever" in that I won't have a partner? Maybe, dunno. Will always have friends and family though.

I went back to college in my late twenties and will hopefully graduate next May. Have had very little time to myself so clearly a partner would have to be able to slip into whatever crevices of time there are available, which aren't many so I know that the chances of that happening are slim right now.

Being single forever has a lot of good things going for it. Things that I'm used to now so getting into a relationship would require a lot of thought as the single life suits me down to the ground.

Abi · 13-10-2012 3:25pm

You can be lonely within a relationship. I was in my marriage. I met him quite young, he was controlling, manipulative, to name a couple of characteristics. It took me a while to realise what a horrible bastard he really was.

To whoever said 'they'll be all divorced by 30' - for some, perhaps. Sometimes it takes that long to realise what a person is really like. I'll hopefully be divorced within the next year or so, but it's not a negative thing in my view. If I didn't break up with him I wouldn't have met my partner. (reach for your sick bags now) he is amazing in every way, and I feel very lucky to have met him. I've never been this happy before, and we're together nearly two and a half years. We get stronger and closer every day.

OP, I understand where you are coming from, but stay positive. It's true when they say it happens when you least expect it

UCDVet · 13-10-2012 5:04pm

Nah - I'm married.

GoldenLight · 13-10-2012 5:45pm

OP, I do and I'm ok with it, if someone wants to share it I'm ok with that to, after all it's my life, and whoever chooses to spend their life with me, and I probably will love them for it

Mr. CooL ICE · 13-10-2012 6:13pm

27 and in a drought of biblical proportions here.

I've had plenty of times where I've been glad I'm single, and other times where I've been miserable and wondered what's wrong with me. I took a step back and wondered what it is that makes me miserable, and realised it's mainly down to friends/family asking why I don't have/get a girlfriend (sure, let me go down to Tesco and buy one...). Any time I've actively pursued a relationship, I've been let down which doesn't feel good. However, I genuinely never feel lonely, but am made to think I have my priorities wrong because I'm not in a relationship. I have more hobbies than anything else so maybe that keeps my mind healthy.

I'm healthy, fit, active and not grotesquely ugly. If I end up in a relationship tomorrow, so be it, but I really don't see it as the be all and end all. As someone said before, actively trying to get with someone for the sake of it can make you feel like you will be alone forever.

breakfasttime · 13-10-2012 6:46pm

cherryghost wrote: »

Don't you mean Forever Alone?

I read it as forever alone in the OP. Damn internets.

akura · 15-10-2012 1:42am

Roses are red.

I have a phone.

Nobody texts me.

Forever alone.

previous user · 15-10-2012 3:20am

corktina wrote: »

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

thats bull.

Grayson · 15-10-2012 9:43pm

corktina wrote: »

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

And true beauty is on the inside.

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 9:53pm

I was on the "being single is ****" side until I read this thread. You people are so wise!!

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 9:55pm

previous user wrote: »

thats bull.

its not

everyone has a soulmate

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 10:04pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

its not

everyone has a soulmate

soulmates

msg11 · 15-10-2012 10:05pm

So on the subject where have people first met there partners? I think 2 of mine have been threw a friend and another 2 random chat ups on the internet. I really cannot hold up chatting someone up in a nightclub and in fact my problem wouldn't be talking to a girl but more so what the hell to talk about?

But I am single now and there's one girl I text who I met online, but I don't know if I am over the last girl. Sad thing is that was in Feb and was only two months and I broke up with her ? I just want to try not forcing or looking for a relationship just for it too sort of fall into place , I think would be better as it would have more meaning.

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 10:05pm

PingO_O wrote: »

soulmates

No

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:10pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

its not

everyone has a soulmate

And how convenient it is that in a world full of 7 billion people they mostly seem to find them in their own country.

There's no one person for anyone. There are hundreds of thousands of people you could be very, very well compatible with.

EdenHazard · 15-10-2012 10:10pm

however ugly i am now the reality that this is the best looking I'll ever be yet i can't find somebody is starting to hit home

girls just don't warm to me for whatever reason!

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 10:11pm

1ZRed wrote: »

And how convenient it is that in a world full of 7 billion people they mostly seem to find them in their own country.

There's no one person for anyone. There are hundreds of thousands of people you could be very, very well compatible with.

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true.

true love

shopaholic01 · 15-10-2012 10:13pm

EdenHazard wrote: »

however ugly i am now the reality that this is the best looking I'll ever be yet i can't find somebody is starting to hit home girls just don't warm to me for whatever reason!

You are obsessed with Justin Bieber ............. and seem to be a tad vain.

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 10:14pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true. true love

Nah

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:14pm

EdenHazard wrote: »

however ugly i am now the reality that this is the best looking I'll ever be yet i can't find somebody is starting to hit home girls just don't warm to me for whatever reason!

You're not that bad off. I've seen your pics and you're not a bad looking guy at all. I've seen some guys who would be less attractive and pull great looking girls because they're great lads through and through. Looks can really mean feck all a lot of the times.

Just have confidence in yourself and your ability, don't be arrogant about it or yourself, and you'll be sorted.

af_thefragile · 15-10-2012 10:21pm

1ZRed wrote: »

You're not that bad off. I've seen your pics and you're not a bad looking guy at all. I've seen some guys who would be less attractive and pull great looking girls because they're great lads through and through. Looks can really mean feck all a lot of the times.

Just have confidence in yourself and your ability, don't be arrogant about it or yourself, and you'll be sorted.

Its all about confidence. My friend who isn't a great looking guy as in he's not someone whom girl's would instantly fall for, he's not very tall, he's not athletic or anything, but he gets girls all the time because he's very confident and doesn't shy away from talking to anyone. Getting girls for him is a no big deal.

Although I'm pretty much the opposite of him as I'm much more quite, shy and introverted thus I'm forever alone!

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:22pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true. true love

And I'm the gay one here..

Honestly...Do you ever feel like you will be alone forever?

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