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Long termers TTC

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    #32
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    barbiegirl wrote: »
    Our third cycle worked but we lost. As a result of lap etc last year we discovered we had endo, a cyst and a septum, all now removed and with Napro for TSI, only this and next cycle left then we'll see what else is on the cards for us.

    Sorry to hear that you lost. Hoping you get lucky this cycle. Might suggest Napro with TSI to my dr see what he says. Is that private?


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    #33
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    Thanks for that Maura, always good to hear the positive outcomes, a reflexologist was recommended to me in my area, haven't tried her yet but may give it a go shortly. Might get back in touch for your womans details if needs be!


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    #34
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Hollywood130 wrote: »
    Sorry to hear that you lost. Hoping you get lucky this cycle. Might suggest Napro with TSI to my dr see what he says. Is that private?

    Yes but not as expensive as other avenues. If you call them they will give you estimates. I found them excellent for getting to the root of the problems and listening. Fingers crossed for this month, I have everything aligned, drugs, sex, acupuncture, positive mental attitude, affirmations, visualization and wearing lots of orange (seemingly great for conception - not so much for my complexion ;-)) lol


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    #35
    carolinespring
    Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    Well, ladies got my period finally on Wednesday, 4 days late and just when I was starting to get hopefully. I knew it was unlightly as I was sick during peak time and we go managed the "business" at the end of the peak stage... Now its looking like my husband will be away with work for my peak time this month. Totally P**sed off.

    Anyways on we go..


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    #36
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Sorry to hear that Caro. Its frustrating when trips away coincide with business time. (heh, that old joke from the chat thread came with us!) is there any way that you could visit him?

    We decided this week that we will keep trying too while waiting on the referral for investigation into the recurrent mc. I feel I can cope if it goes wrong again, himself would have supported me either way but is glad I'm willing to keep trying.

    And I'm on CD1 after mc too today. Cycle twins.


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    #37
    Sarah Bear
    Registered Users Posts: 481 ✭✭Sarah Bear


    carolinespring wrote: »
    Well, ladies got my period finally on Wednesday, 4 days late and just when I was starting to get hopefully. I knew it was unlightly as I was sick during peak time and we go managed the "business" at the end of the peak stage... Now its looking like my husband will be away with work for my peak time this month. Totally P**sed off.

    Anyways on we go..

    Keep going Caroline, I know it will happen for you. It just has to!


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    #38
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    Been tryin for 5 years,just on the verge of startin ivf or iui,wont know which till we see the consultant next week,have had every obstacle put in our way imaginable,found out on our last visit that i have low egg reserve only to be sent away after 5mins of a chat after waitin 2 hours to see the doc with no answers to anything because they said i needed to sort out my ra diagnosis first!
    Hopefully this visit will yield more answers and give us the go ahead to start!
    I'm havin reflexology and acupuncture since april and i find it great for destressing!


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    #39
    pennyloves
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭pennyloves


    You poor thing! I was told something similar but my surgeon in told me that a low egg isn't as bad as it sounds. Also when I finally plucked up the courage and told my friends about everything it turns out that one of my friends had a low egg reserve too. She was on fertility meds but had to come off it at the beginning of this year as she was getting her gallbladder removed. She found out she was pregnant two weeks before she was due to start ivf and she had her beautiful baby three weeks ago. The next time you go in to see that doc have all your questions written down and don't leave until they're answered. You will get there! I hope one of us will be telling a similar story in a few months time xxxx


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    #40
    pennyloves
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭pennyloves


    I know, nobody understands how stressful each month is. Every time I go to the toilet I am checking for signs. Every month I swear I won't build things up but I find myself daydreaming about telling the in laws the good news. I got my period on Saturday and it hit me so hard because it really feels like it will never happen. I told my friends everything before I got my septum removed in sep. I was out with one of them on Friday night and she asked how everything was before launching into the joys of adoption. I explained to her that I haven't ruled it out but I would love a child of my own. It really knocked my confidence. ...I wish I had a crystal ball so I could know if I am wasting my time. Sorry for the doom and gloom. ..I am sure I will be more positive when I am in the middle of my cycle. I really cherish this site, it is a godsend. Thanks stickybean for all your posts and advice x


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    #41
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    That bugs the hell out of me Pennyloves, when people trot out Adoption as an infertility band-aid. They make it sound like babies grow on Adoption Trees.

    Its not that simple. Firstly, couples need to have completely finished TTC or any fertility treatment to begin the process. Then there are huge amounts of paperwork, interviews and red tape to go through, which can take years and years. Then you have an upper age cut-off. Then you have to almost always go abroad to get your baby, so you need lots of money and very understanding employers.

    That is great if you can do this, and you are strong enough for the process and the invasiveness of social workers questions about everything from your relationship to your finances. And I understand why they are careful to ensure that prospective parents are suitable, of course.

    Some couples want their own genetic baby. Everyone else does but it seems infertile ones are not supposed to care about that. Maybe the woman wants to experience pregnancy and childbirth. Maybe the couple dont want to bond with a child for a year only for the mother to pull the plug on the adoption process and take the baby back.


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    #42
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    They never explained anything to me tht day,it was an understudy we were speakin with and she didnt seem to know what the were going to offer us,well sjhe said she couldnt say until i got my ra sorted,very frustrating after the long wait,i just ended up coming out and cryin which annoyed my husband,he said if were treated badly again like that were going to a different clinic!

    i hate when people offer you the alternates to having a baby,it's not as if you as a couple wouldnt have spoke about it,even briefly,if your long time ttc all the avenues have been discussed at some stage or other!


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    #43
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Neyite wrote: »
    Its not that simple. Firstly, couples need to have completely finished TTC or any fertility treatment to begin the process. Then there are huge amounts of paperwork, interviews and red tape to go through, which can take years and years. Then you have an upper age cut-off. Then you have to almost always go abroad to get your baby, so you need lots of money and very understanding employers.

    That's not even the whole sad story with adoption. The Hague convention and the adoption act 2010 has pretty much halted inter-country adoption here since that time. It's almost impossible to adopt children from another country here at the moment, and irish adoptions are extremely rare and are usually within the same family.

    It's heartbreaking, especially when you think of children stuck in orphanages and the families who want to adopt.

    You can't rely on adoption as being an available option after fertility treatment here any more.


    Still, people mean well with it. And it's better than the "You can always get a DOG!" comment I got once.


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    #44
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    pwurple wrote: »
    And it's better than the "You can always get a DOG!" comment I got once.

    :eek:

    How on earth did you respond to that statement??


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    #45
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    That made me laugh!!People are always sayin(behind my back usually to people who then tell me) that i treat my dog's like children and it's probably because of my 'situation'!!
    I treat my dog's like members of my family because that's what they are to me,not replacement for the kids i havent or can't have!

    People are strange!


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    #46
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    That's hilarious Bobski cause I get the very same. My two are cuddled on the couch beside me. :D Infact I've been told that they are getting in the way of us getting pregnant as there is only so much mothering energy :eek:
    They are the four legged furry members of the family, not child substitutes. :rolleyes:


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    #47
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    Snap cos my two are here in the exact same position!!

    Only so much mothering energy,that's a new one on me!!When someone says something riduclous about my dog's my usual retort is 'and some people wonder why i prefer the company of them'!usually shuts them up!!

    isn't it just aswell ya wouldn't take these things too seriously or there would be alot of people with red jaws:D


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    #48
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    I've had my doggie long before I started trying to extend the family. I call her my first born :D


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    #49
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    i better not start sayin that or it'l be he looney bin for me!
    Don't think my 17 year old would be too happy bout it either lol!


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    #50
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Ah see I have my doggie longer than I have my 11 year old so I get away with it :D


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    #51
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    Lol!!you have an unfair advantage on me!!


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    #52
    carolinespring
    Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    Back on "Duty" this weekend. Husband was to be away next week but that has now changed to the following week so he will be around for peak next week :) Lots of loving going to be taking place in this house over the next week... I have even started sending the cheeky texts to get the ball rolling ;) Hopefully this month.


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    #53
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    I'm starting again this month! Monthlys over yesterday so here goes! Just to keep the mind off it!!! Any tips.... maybe I haven't heard some before!!!


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    #54
    stickybean
    Registered Users Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    Best thing we can say Hollywood is to try and relax and enjoy. I find the months were I try something a little different is always good, new underwear, nice meal, some massage oils. Try not to time everything and enjoy each other. This could (fingers crossed), be your last month as just the two of ye xxx


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    #55
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    stickybean wrote: »
    Best thing we can say Hollywood is to try and relax and enjoy. I find the months were I try something a little different is always good, new underwear, nice meal, some massage oils. Try not to time everything and enjoy each other. This could (fingers crossed), be your last month as just the two of ye xxx

    Aw that's a lovely comment, put a smile on my face! I'm definitely going to try some of those! Never know what might happen! Thank You xx


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    #56
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    First post for a long time lurker. My DH and I are married 3 years and ttc for about 5 in total. We've been told that unless we have intervention it probably won't happen but we've done our math and can't afford any treatment. We don't have private health ins and have a huge mortgage so its game over for us :(

    Its very hard to accept and I have times when I try and be mature and look at the positives of a child free life but other times I want to scream. My sister in law just announced she is pregnant again and I'm happy for her but on another level I feel you have two kids already why can't I be the one pregnant instead. I haven't been able to so much as say congrats to her :( I'm so ashamed of not being able to do this one thing women are meant to be able to do that I just tell people we don't want children, I know family would be great but I just can't bring myself to have that conversation. My mum in particular is desperate for grandkids and I can't let her down.

    My husband is not much of a talker, it means more to me than it does to him so I resent him at times. I'm 40 in a few weeks and feel empty, useless, hopeless. I've actually started to hate pregnant women or couples with young children. I dread hearing that yet another person I know is having a family. I worry I'm just going to get more bitter and angry as time goes on and become a horrible old lady with nothing to show for her life.


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    #57
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    stickybean wrote: »
    This could (fingers crossed), be your last month as just the two of ye xxx

    That is actually a really positive and romantic way of approaching it.:)


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    #58
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    It actually is, sounds so much better than 'we have to do it' !! Going to try this definitely this month, we all need a little romance every now and again!

    Actually have to go for another blood test this month to see if I'm ovulating, I did on Chlomid, got referred to another doctor in another hospital and she wants to repeat all tests, starting with this one!
    Need to repeat the dye test also, does anyone know what it is like to have this done by xray? is it painful at all and can it be done in a day?


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    #59
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Hollywood130 wrote: »
    It actually is, sounds so much better than 'we have to do it' !! Going to try this definitely this month, we all need a little romance every now and again!

    Actually have to go for another blood test this month to see if I'm ovulating, I did on Chlomid, got referred to another doctor in another hospital and she wants to repeat all tests, starting with this one!
    Need to repeat the dye test also, does anyone know what it is like to have this done by xray? is it painful at all and can it be done in a day?

    Is that the HSG xray? if so yes, I had that. I took advice and took 2 neurofen plus before it (maybe check with your doc if you can do this too?) . It was quite sore, but its very very brief, about 30 seconds or less if I recall correctly. I was a bit shaky after it, sat for a few mins then got dressed, and went and had a sweet cuppa before driving. Bring your own sanitary towel if you can as the ones in the hospitals are usually the big maternity ones. I took a half day, and went home to veg on the sofa, but realistically I would have been ok to go back to work.


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    #60
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    Oh I'm not sure what it's called, they just called it a dye test to check for blockages in the tubes? I had it done through cystectomy in 2012 and there were no blockages, little frustrating that I need it again a year later, is that normal?


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    #61
    pennyloves
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭pennyloves


    Do you not find that even though you are acting like it is fun etc and trying not to be so clinical about it, it is always there, gnawing away, at the back of your mind. I love when the two weeks of pressure sex are over so we can go back to normal. I actually can't remember what it is like to have a normal month, without my cycle ruling my life and my moods!


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