Long termers TTC

carolinespring

Back on "Duty" this weekend. Husband was to be away next week but that has now changed to the following week so he will be around for peak next week Lots of loving going to be taking place in this house over the next week... I have even started sending the cheeky texts to get the ball rolling Hopefully this month.

Hollywood130

I'm starting again this month! Monthlys over yesterday so here goes! Just to keep the mind off it!!! Any tips.... maybe I haven't heard some before!!!

stickybean

Best thing we can say Hollywood is to try and relax and enjoy. I find the months were I try something a little different is always good, new underwear, nice meal, some massage oils. Try not to time everything and enjoy each other. This could (fingers crossed), be your last month as just the two of ye xxx

Hollywood130

stickybean wrote: »

Best thing we can say Hollywood is to try and relax and enjoy. I find the months were I try something a little different is always good, new underwear, nice meal, some massage oils. Try not to time everything and enjoy each other. This could (fingers crossed), be your last month as just the two of ye xxx

Aw that's a lovely comment, put a smile on my face! I'm definitely going to try some of those! Never know what might happen! Thank You xx

LegacyUser

First post for a long time lurker. My DH and I are married 3 years and ttc for about 5 in total. We've been told that unless we have intervention it probably won't happen but we've done our math and can't afford any treatment. We don't have private health ins and have a huge mortgage so its game over for us

Its very hard to accept and I have times when I try and be mature and look at the positives of a child free life but other times I want to scream. My sister in law just announced she is pregnant again and I'm happy for her but on another level I feel you have two kids already why can't I be the one pregnant instead. I haven't been able to so much as say congrats to her I'm so ashamed of not being able to do this one thing women are meant to be able to do that I just tell people we don't want children, I know family would be great but I just can't bring myself to have that conversation. My mum in particular is desperate for grandkids and I can't let her down.

My husband is not much of a talker, it means more to me than it does to him so I resent him at times. I'm 40 in a few weeks and feel empty, useless, hopeless. I've actually started to hate pregnant women or couples with young children. I dread hearing that yet another person I know is having a family. I worry I'm just going to get more bitter and angry as time goes on and become a horrible old lady with nothing to show for her life.

Neyite

stickybean wrote: »

This could (fingers crossed), be your last month as just the two of ye xxx

That is actually a really positive and romantic way of approaching it.:)

Hollywood130

It actually is, sounds so much better than 'we have to do it' !! Going to try this definitely this month, we all need a little romance every now and again!

Actually have to go for another blood test this month to see if I'm ovulating, I did on Chlomid, got referred to another doctor in another hospital and she wants to repeat all tests, starting with this one!
Need to repeat the dye test also, does anyone know what it is like to have this done by xray? is it painful at all and can it be done in a day?

Neyite

Hollywood130 wrote: »

It actually is, sounds so much better than 'we have to do it' !! Going to try this definitely this month, we all need a little romance every now and again!

Actually have to go for another blood test this month to see if I'm ovulating, I did on Chlomid, got referred to another doctor in another hospital and she wants to repeat all tests, starting with this one!
Need to repeat the dye test also, does anyone know what it is like to have this done by xray? is it painful at all and can it be done in a day?

Is that the HSG xray? if so yes, I had that. I took advice and took 2 neurofen plus before it (maybe check with your doc if you can do this too?) . It was quite sore, but its very very brief, about 30 seconds or less if I recall correctly. I was a bit shaky after it, sat for a few mins then got dressed, and went and had a sweet cuppa before driving. Bring your own sanitary towel if you can as the ones in the hospitals are usually the big maternity ones. I took a half day, and went home to veg on the sofa, but realistically I would have been ok to go back to work.

Hollywood130

Oh I'm not sure what it's called, they just called it a dye test to check for blockages in the tubes? I had it done through cystectomy in 2012 and there were no blockages, little frustrating that I need it again a year later, is that normal?

pennyloves

Do you not find that even though you are acting like it is fun etc and trying not to be so clinical about it, it is always there, gnawing away, at the back of your mind. I love when the two weeks of pressure sex are over so we can go back to normal. I actually can't remember what it is like to have a normal month, without my cycle ruling my life and my moods!

bobskii

Well ivf it is,was talking bout ivf and I asked him why not iui,he said oh ya can do that if you want but its not as effective.torn now I don't know if I can handle ivf after that chat with him today.every time im in there I feel like crying!

Hollywood130

Ya it is pretty hard not to think about it all the time, some months I give up and just don't even speak of it, like last month and this month, doing alot of training and exercise to keep my mind off it and just trying to 'do it' when the mood takes us!! I don't know, it does consume you though

Hollywood130

bobskii wrote: »

Well ivf it is,was talking bout ivf and I asked him why not iui,he said oh ya can do that if you want but its not as effective.torn now I don't know if I can handle ivf after that chat with him today.every time im in there I feel like crying!

Just think of the delightful little bundle of joy you will have at the end. Take some time to prepare yourself for it mentally and then get positive and go for it. Maybe get a second opinion if you think iui could be an option before going for ivf.

bobskii

I'm gonna go to the open night and decide after that,why oh why does life do these things to us:(

Hollywood130

I know, getting pregnant is something people really take for granted, people just assume it's going to happen, not many realise the difficulties, I always have people saying to me 'oh your next now' and 'isn't it about time you started having a family', some days I feel like strangling them! It's not fair having a baby seems like a small ask, we're good people who could really care for a child but its an uphill battle to get one... ok rant over I could keep going but i wont!!!

bobskii

Im havin the same kind of day myslf Hollywood.A friend questioning me on why its taking so long that her other friend had it done in no time. Thinks she knows it all and it me going through this crap not her!grrrrr

bobskii

Im havin the same kind of day myslf Hollywood.A friend questioning me on why its taking so long that her other friend had it done in no time. Thinks she knows it all and it me going through this crap not her!grrrrr

Hollywood130

I know it's really difficult, I have people telling me 'it'll happen' and 'it's not your time yet' but how do they know, it hasn't happened in the last 4 years, whats going to change now, it may never happen.

Ok I am staying positive that it will, but it's difficult with some many around us getting pregnant by shaking hands!! Have to keep trying different things in hope but it's such a long process. I feel like my dr isn't taking it seriously either, you'd imagine after 4 years they would take more notice

bobskii

Yeh exactly or the stop stressing about it and it will happen,hate that one!!Push your doctor if you feel that way or change doctors because at the end of the day it's your life!it is a long process though,but if you feel strongly change until your happy with how things are progressing for you.

stickybean

Day 30 today, zero symptoms, feel like I am looking for some, Lol!!

Penny Dreadful

Ladies, I find that I'm being pulled into the realm of long term ttc now. We've been ttc since the end of December and nothing.
I recently started acupuncture and have had 6 sessions so far. I paid a visit to my GP on Tuesday evening to discuss this and explore options.
My husband has been dispatched for a semen analysis and I'm scheduled for day 3 and 21 bloods soon.
I've been doing some thinking about my general health of late to try to see why there could be a reason for the lack of babies!! We live a healthy lifestyle don't drink excessively don't smoke and have a healthy diet. Then I thought about an issue I've been having with my shoulder for the past 2 years.
I won't go into the shoulder injury itself as the cause of it isn't connected to my fertility. However there have been times when it's been very very sore and painful and I've had to take quite a few Neurofen Max and Solpadine over the past two years. Now I'm concerned that this may have damaged my liver function and had a knock on effect to my fertility and damaged my eggs.
The liver is a fantastic organ and I know has a superb chance of repairing itself if given half a chance so I'm ok on that score. The bloods when drawn will be tested for everything; cholesterol, diabetes, LFTs, etc. If they are raised it will be obvious. Although that's not always indicative of something wrong.
My question for you ladies who have travelled further down this road at me is, has the health of your liver been raised as an issue or area of concern in any of your consultations? If so what was the outcome?

GoldieLocks99

I was just reading the indo from Thursday. There is a whole magazine in it about the different options, some of which we have tried and are trying.

If anyone wants to read it i found it online.

http://supplements.independent.ie/?xml=Mother_and_Baby_imag&iid=83144#folio=1

Neyite

Penny, the liver was never mentioned to me, and I haven't came across it on any reading up on causes for infertility. And I practically munched on neurofen plus during a time I was getting ongoing dental work.

Penny Dreadful

Neyite wrote: »

Penny, the liver was never mentioned to me, and I haven't came across it on any reading up on causes for infertility. And I practically munched on neurofen plus during a time I was getting ongoing dental work.

Dental work sucks!

I hadn't heard much about liver function either and just came across it with something I had to read for,work yesterday and it made me wonder.
It's all speculation on my part now and the blood work will tell more.
I think I'm going to eat more liver friendly foods anyway, more fish and the like anyway. It won't do anything other than good for my body regardless of whether its linked to my fertility or not.

carolinespring

We are on the 2ww. Fingers crossed this is our month.

Hollywood130

Maybe just ask your doctor if you do feel concerned about it Penny, at least he/she can put your mind at ease but I've never seen it mentioned anywhere as a cause of infertility and it hasn't been mentioned to me either. I think we've all probably had to munch down tablets at some stage, I've been on more anti-biotics than I care to remember, have recurring bladder infections and cystitis so I would think you're probably safe!

Penny Dreadful

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Maybe just ask your doctor if you do feel concerned about it Penny, at least he/she can put your mind at ease but I've never seen it mentioned anywhere as a cause of infertility and it hasn't been mentioned to me either. I think we've all probably had to munch down tablets at some stage, I've been on more anti-biotics than I care to remember, have recurring bladder infections and cystitis so I would think you're probably safe!

Thanks. I'm back at the surgery on Thursday for my Day 21 bloods anyway so will mention it to the nurse then.

bobskii

Actually Penny i was on talets that reduced my liver function and lowered my white blood cells earlier this year,i was being monitored for it but they said it would repair itself anyway once i stopped the tablets.

Penny Dreadful

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Maybe just ask your doctor if you do feel concerned about it Penny, at least he/she can put your mind at ease but I've never seen it mentioned anywhere as a cause of infertility and it hasn't been mentioned to me either. I think we've all probably had to munch down tablets at some stage, I've been on more anti-biotics than I care to remember, have recurring bladder infections and cystitis so I would think you're probably safe!

Had my Day 21 bloods taken today. Mentioned the liver function to the nurse and she said it shouldn't be an issue. The results will tell all of course but she said it would take a lot for the liver to impact on fertility in such a way as to render you infertile. If my liver was that bad then I'd know all about it.

carolinespring

I got a pack of Christmas cards today to support the fund raising for the local school and had a cry when it dawned on me that it is another Christmas that we will e sending out cards without the added baby name.

barbiegirl

Christmas is the hardest time, for sure.

stickybean

Hey girls, I was at the Merrion Clinic this evening, they had a free fertility talk, heard about it last minute. It was really useful. We got to look all around the facilty, they gave us loads of information about their services and options.

Feeling very positive after meeting with them

Penny Dreadful

stickybean wrote: »

Hey girls, I was at the Merrion Clinic this evening, they had a free fertility talk, heard about it last minute. It was really useful. We got to look all around the facilty, they gave us loads of information about their services and options.

Feeling very positive after meeting with them

That sounds interesting. How did you hear about the talk? Will it be something they run again do you know?

stickybean

I heard it on the radio, this is a link to the add on her website:

http://www.merrionfertility.ie/upcoming-information-evening-at-mfc/

Also we were speaking to a couple who seen it advertised in the paper

I imagine they run it often enough. I would highly recommned, if you have any questions the whole team was there to chat (nurses, doctors, surgeons, admin team and lab workers)

Neyite

carolinespring wrote: »

I got a pack of Christmas cards today to support the fund raising for the local school and had a cry when it dawned on me that it is another Christmas that we will e sending out cards without the added baby name.

Big squishy Hugs for you Caroline. Hope its the last one you have to experience.

Penny Dreadful

carolinespring wrote: »

I got a pack of Christmas cards today to support the fund raising for the local school and had a cry when it dawned on me that it is another Christmas that we will e sending out cards without the added baby name.

Its tough all right.

I see in an earlier post you said you were in the 2WW. Hopefully you'll have the great news of a baby on the way this Christmas.
I really hope you do.

Sarah Bear

carolinespring wrote: »

I got a pack of Christmas cards today to support the fund raising for the local school and had a cry when it dawned on me that it is another Christmas that we will e sending out cards without the added baby name.

You never know maybe there's a tiny little one in there right now. Fingers crossed for you x

carolinespring

I have a very strong feeling I will be out again this month. Period due in 3 days but have a little spotting so have a feeling AF will be on the way.....

stickybean

10 days late, 3 BFN tests , feeling p!ssed off. I was on anti biotics this month, not sure if that could have affected my cycle.

Also was told we have to abstain or use protection next month as I am going in for my D&C, Hysteroscopy and laporoscopy.

Looks like this will be another Christmas / New year without our bump

pennyloves

Caroline, my heart goes out to you because I felt the same today. My friend gave birth to her second child today and I just broke down when I read the text. I don't smoke but I had to have one this evening. No one understands, it's such a silent grief that you have to hide and carry around.

Roustabout

Oh pennyloves you hit the nail on the head, silent grief is exactly what it is. I also find that I'm trying to sound convincing when I pretend like it's a choice that we don't have children yet. Maybe it helps me feel like, or be perceived that, I have control or something when in fact it's the one aspect of my life that I have absolutely no control over. If only they knew......

bobskii

Its tough and on our minds constantly. If only people knew the half of our thoughts they wouldnt b so flippant.a girl at work today asked me was I planning on having more children before i even answered she launched into giving out how her kids have destroyed her body but shes planning two more.i just stood there thinking in my head shut up shut up shut up!

Penny Dreadful

bobskii wrote: »

Its tough and on our minds constantly. If only people knew the half of our thoughts they wouldnt b so flippant.a girl at work today asked me was I planning on having more children before i even answered she launched into giving out how her kids have destroyed her body but shes planning two more.i just stood there thinking in my head shut up shut up shut up!

My sister in law, who had a lot of trouble getting pregnant herself, fell pregnant unexpectedly with her second baby around October of last year. When she was telling people, she was very much of the "OMG, if only it didn't happen this year, I mean next year would be so much better, it really doesn't suit now.........".
I was astonished for so many reasons. First was my thinking that although I hadn't started trying just yet back then, it would be something I'd love to just happen. Second was that she had wanted a baby so so badly and tried for so long that you think she'd have been bloody delighted that it just happend this second time around.
Now when I have been trying for almost a year I get so annoyed when I think of that conversation.

Hollywood130

carolinespring wrote: »

I got a pack of Christmas cards today to support the fund raising for the local school and had a cry when it dawned on me that it is another Christmas that we will e sending out cards without the added baby name.

I know exactly how you feel Caroline, was thinking the very same thing myself, bought 7 Christmas presents on Sunday for other peoples children, will I ever be buying for my own... very very hard. Your not on your own

Hollywood130

pennyloves wrote: »

Caroline, my heart goes out to you because I felt the same today. My friend gave birth to her second child today and I just broke down when I read the text. I don't smoke but I had to have one this evening. No one understands, it's such a silent grief that you have to hide and carry around.

Happened me too, an old school friend emailed me to tell me she was pregnant, total surprise for her, I nearly vomited on the screen, depressed then for the day. It's horrible and so hard to pick yourself up and get on with things.

bobskii

I hear ya Penny that is a bit mad!!My friend is always sayin to me oh its well for you can just go here and there at the drop of a hat it's different when you have children:mad:
Firstly i'm understanding of the fact is tougher to organise yourself when you have kids and secondly she knows i'm struggling to get pregnant!:rolleyes:

Hollywood130

Oh my God why would anyone say that to you when they know you are trying to get pregnant???? Maybe it's her way of trying to make you feel a bit better. At this rate I'd be only too happy to organise my life around a baby!

Penny Dreadful

Hollywood130 wrote: »

Oh my God why would anyone say that to you when they know you are trying to get pregnant???? Maybe it's her way of trying to make you feel a bit better. At this rate I'd be only too happy to organise my life around a baby!

And then when you do get pregnant all of the "ohh hoo your life is over now - you'll never get that figure back - you'll be stuck at home for years now, hope you enjoyed that last holiday - you'll never sleep again"..... comments come your way.
I hate those!:mad: If I manage to get pregnant and someone comes out with the above I think I'm just going to say, " you know what, I don't care. I've been trying for ages, I'm delighted I'm pregnant and if it is so bloody bad then why have you have X number of children?".

Hollywood130

Yes your right, just because they feel that way doesn't mean we will & we know we won't, we'll be savouring every moment! I will count my blessings everyday if I get to have one baby, I'll feel so lucky, I'll be happy to be awake every night!!!

The whole figure thing is crap too, my sister has 5 kids and she's a size 8, shes amazing! Some people, like seriously what do they be thinking, saying things like that.
Another Christmas with no little family of our own... it's so tough...

pennyloves

This will also be our second Christmas without the one thing we crave for. I feel like the oldest swinger in town as Christmas Eve isn't the same anymore. It used to be a huge gang of us in the pub and now that has been reduced to almost nothing. I don't want to be out pretending that I am livng it up and enjoying myself - I desperately want a little one to make everything worthwhile. I sit there on nights out just looking around and thinking that I would kill to be at home with a gorgeous little baby asleep upstairs, talk about contentment. I would give anything to have my own little family and to enjoy the magic of Christmas again. I never ever thought I'd be in this position and the gnawing emptiness seems to be getting worse, maybe it's just because it IS another Christmas. I have really lost hope recently as it really feels like it will never happen. A few colleagues are getting married in the next few months and I am dreading their announcements while I have to put on a brave face.

Sorry for the rant and buckets of self pity but life just seems so bloody unfair at the moment. Please God things will look up in the New Year.