Kids refusing to go to school

hawkelady · 08-01-2018 8:17pm

Stuckforcash wrote: »

hawkelady wrote: »

Ohhh la-di-da. Isn't mumsy the best!!!!

With your attitude I've no doubt you think your offspring are "the best".

In reality I'd hazard a guess they are complete knobends

Whereas your parents obviously did a fine job.

Well with your knowledge I'd say you weren't homeschooled , eh !! I'll pass on the compliment to my parents. Thanks

danganabu · 08-01-2018 8:23pm

Malayalam wrote: »

Chrongen wrote: »

"Home-schooling" fcuks kids up. They don't develop social skills properly

That's a fecking lie. I home schooled all my kids and they are flipping awesome, got highest level results in their Universities and are better socialised and more decent than anyone I've met. Feck off. :mad:

I hope they got your humility as well ðŸ˜‚

Malayalam · 08-01-2018 8:29pm

danganabu wrote: »

I hope they got your humility as well &#55357;&#56834;

Why should I be humble about my children? Being their Mam is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me in my whole life, and I am super proud of them.

Dr_serious2 · 08-01-2018 8:49pm

Stuckforcash wrote: »

School had me in tears as a kid. I've suffered life long anxiety and panic disorder. I had friends and did well with school work and was never bullied or anything but I just couldn't cope with it. I was written off as being a brat by everyone but my parents, in the end they got me homeschooled.

In a long term full time job now living away from home. Often wonder if I was made to stay what effect it would have had. Quite happy right now though.

Maybe your username would not be 'stuckforcash' if you had stayed in school? You could be called 'livingcomfortably.'

Hector Bellend · 08-01-2018 9:19pm

Give him a good crack on the arse and send him on his way.

LirW · 08-01-2018 9:43pm

Malayalam wrote: »

Why should I be humble about my children? Being their Mam is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me in my whole life, and I am super proud of them.

Genuine question to you as a homeschooler, how did you teach them subjects where you knew it'd be out of your knowledge/ skills? Like maths, science subjects etc. How did you make sure your kids are on level with kids going to ordinary schools?
I'm just interested in that, I'd never homeschool but I also don't think I could teach them certain things the way a qualified teacher could do.

Stuckforcash · 08-01-2018 10:08pm

Dr_serious2 wrote: »

Maybe your username would not be 'stuckforcash' if you had stayed in school? You could be called 'livingcomfortably.'

Doubt it. Homeschooling is superior in terms of education.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 08-01-2018 10:09pm

Stuckforcash wrote: »

Doubt it. Homeschooling is superior in terms of education.

To the detriment of social skills which are key for suceeding in life.

Also it might be fine up to primary level. However when you get on to secondary there is no way a parent could have the depth of knowledge needed to cover topics as diverse as Maths, English, Poetry, Physics, Chemistry History etc.

Stuckforcash · 08-01-2018 10:15pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

To the detriment of social skills which are key for suceeding in life.

Also it might be fine up to primary level. However when you get on to secondary there is no way a parent could have the depth of knowledge needed to cover topics as diverse as Maths, English, Poetry, Physics, Chemistry History etc.

There were no detriment to mine anyway, played sports and a member of various clubs. Not sure why you insist that homeschooling involves zero social skills. Perhaps you don't actually understand it?

I had three different teachers coming to my house, got all honours in my leaving. Went on to college, did a course I loved and got a job and subsequently married. Did you think only parents can homeschool kids?

Can you point to any studies on this so called detriment to socal skill development?

Pintman Paddy Losty · 08-01-2018 10:18pm

Stuckforcash wrote: »

There were no detriment to mine anyway, played sports and a member of various clubs. Not sure why you insist that homeschooling involves zero social skills. Perhaps you don't actually understand it?

I had three different teachers coming to my house, got all honours in my leaving. Went on to college, did a course I loved and got a job and subsequently married. Did you think only parents can homeschool kids?

Can you point to any studies on this so called detriment to socal skill development?

Its common sense. Another subject that is not on the home school cirriculum.

Stuckforcash · 08-01-2018 10:20pm

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Its common sense. Another subject that is not on the home school cirriculum.

OK so you don't like homeschooling just because? Great argument.

Where's your evidence that being exposed to bullying as a kid is essential in dealing with bullying as an adult? You threw that out earlier and never followed up on it.

Permabear · 08-01-2018 10:25pm

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The_Valeyard · 08-01-2018 10:27pm

Permabear wrote: »

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It might work for you, but there most certainly is a big difference between knowing the information yourself and acting as an educator successfully teaching content or teaching methodologies, etc.

eviltwin · 08-01-2018 10:29pm

Permabear wrote: »

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How do you homeschool and fit in work and study on top of that?

Permabear · 08-01-2018 10:31pm

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Malayalam · 08-01-2018 10:32pm

LirW wrote: »

Genuine question to you as a homeschooler, how did you teach them subjects where you knew it'd be out of your knowledge/ skills? Like maths, science subjects etc. How did you make sure your kids are on level with kids going to ordinary schools?
I'm just interested in that, I'd never homeschool but I also don't think I could teach them certain things the way a qualified teacher could do.

I arranged schooling hours with other people. They were involved in many social activities that were not school. I also arranged workshops with other home schoolers so we could pool knowledge and skills. I liased with friends who were teachers to gauge standards but in general they were far ahead of regular school because a love of learning and curiosity is innate to children and if provided with resources and support and a comfortable setting they are boundlessly interested. Individual attention and variety of activity is helpful to them. It's hard work for the parent, a full time job, but they tell me they enjoyed it. Also I have a couple of degrees and reasonably wide knowledge base so I felt confident I could teach them. Not boasting, just in case people jump in to say so, just saying it helped.
I didn't intend to home school, it became absolutely necessary due to intractable bullying in a very rural area. It worked out wonderfully. Thank goodness

Permabear · 08-01-2018 10:37pm

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JohnnyFlash · 08-01-2018 10:39pm

One of my young lads started acting the bollix and refusing to go to school. I'm not the most technical of men, but I managed to cancel his playstation account and some of the other things he felt he could use my credit card for. He wasn't long getting out of the bed and heading down there for some learnin'.

The little prick.

irishman86 · 08-01-2018 10:41pm

Chrongen wrote: »

"Home-schooling" fcuks kids up. They don't develop social skills properly

Cant they be developed in other ways such as sports/arts

SEPT 23 1989 · 08-01-2018 10:42pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

One of my young lads started acting the bollix and refusing to go to school. I'm not the most technical of men, but I managed to cancel his playstation account and some of the other things he felt he could use my credit card for. He wasn't long getting out of the bed and heading down there for some learnin'.

The little prick.

Did you cancel the PlayStation with a hammer?

Permabear · 08-01-2018 10:42pm

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The Lost Sheep · 08-01-2018 10:46pm

retalivity wrote: »

How many of the kids claiming 'anxiety' are just lazy sh1tes and being indulged? I know a few people whose kids have gluten intolerances, asthma, adhd, ptsd, the Spanish flu, leprosy, the works. According to them anyway...

Very very few and anxiety(PTSD is a form of anxiety) can appear in form as laziness/acting out. But the opposite is the case

Capt'n Midnight · 08-01-2018 10:49pm

GLaDOS wrote: »

No normal kid ever wanted to go to school

From neither today nor yesterday

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school.
- William Shakespeare - As You Like It, 1600

Ulysses Gaze · 08-01-2018 10:50pm

Miranda Teeny Wine wrote: »

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/schoolflakes-the-children-not-going-to-school-because-they-don-t-like-it-1.3340555

Interesting article here. I have sympathy for any child who genuinely dreads going to school, but just letting them stay at home isn't doing them any favours in the long term. The day will come when they have a job they hate, or a boss they can't stand, or a colleague they don't get on with, but they'll still need to pay the bills.

Failed Parenting Strategies have led us to this.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 08-01-2018 10:56pm

Permabear wrote: »

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There also appears to be at least 40 hours in a day in North Carolina if you can manage 2 full time jobs in finance, 2 PhDs, 4 kids and home-schooling.

Permabear · 08-01-2018 11:05pm

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suicide_circus · 08-01-2018 11:12pm

Permabear wrote: »

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Get off boards put your cape back on and teach those kids

listermint · 08-01-2018 11:13pm

Permabear wrote: »

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So your not home schooling basically, you have a private tutor.

pgj2015 · 08-01-2018 11:22pm

Miranda Teeny Wine wrote: »

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/schoolflakes-the-children-not-going-to-school-because-they-don-t-like-it-1.3340555

Interesting article here. I have sympathy for any child who genuinely dreads going to school, but just letting them stay at home isn't doing them any favours in the long term. The day will come when they have a job they hate, or a boss they can't stand, or a colleague they don't get on with, but they'll still need to pay the bills.

Or maybe they will have a job they love, why would anyone do a job they hate?

LirW · 08-01-2018 11:25pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

Or maybe they will have a job they love, why would anyone do a job they hate?

Because sometimes we don't have a choice because bills need to be paid.

hawkelady · 08-01-2018 11:25pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

Miranda Teeny Wine wrote: »

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/schoolflakes-the-children-not-going-to-school-because-they-don-t-like-it-1.3340555

Interesting article here. I have sympathy for any child who genuinely dreads going to school, but just letting them stay at home isn't doing them any favours in the long term. The day will come when they have a job they hate, or a boss they can't stand, or a colleague they don't get on with, but they'll still need to pay the bills.

Or maybe they will have a job they love, why would anyone do a job they hate?

Because most of the workforce has to work their way up .. not always doing a job they like along the way

pgj2015 · 08-01-2018 11:30pm

LirW wrote: »

Because sometimes we don't have a choice because bills need to be paid.

Then they have bigger problems than being anti social from not going to school. we should be telling kids they can do whatever they want career wise not that they may end up working in a job they hate.

Permabear · 08-01-2018 11:34pm

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Stuckforcash · 08-01-2018 11:37pm

listermint wrote: »

So your not home schooling basically, you have a private tutor.

The definition of homeschooling is teaching performed by the parents or a tutor in the home.

In response to being bullied in school being an important life experience in terms of learning how to cope with bullying in the work place (there's no logic there at all, but several people have said it) how do kids that don't experience being bullied in public school cope? Why do we campaign against bullying if it's such a valuable life experience? There's nothing positive to be taken from bullying.

Most homeschooled kids are involved in activities such as sports, clubs, scouts etc. so there is plenty of opportunities for social skills development. Humans, especially kids, are adaptable, you won't turn into a hermit from being home schooled. Where poor mental health is an issue, moderate social exposure can be the best form of treatment, rather than forcing a child that doesn't know why they feel the way they do, to stay in a system that distresses them years on end.

Another misconception is only the parents can be involved in teaching hence leading to an inferior education, that's not the case.

I think most of the points raised just come from a complete lack of understanding of what's involved in homeschooling.

LirW · 08-01-2018 11:48pm

pgj2015 wrote: »

Then they have bigger problems than being anti social from not going to school. we should be telling kids they can do whatever they want career wise not that they may end up working in a job they hate.

This mindset had caused a lot of people doing courses that have very little employment perspectives. Because they always got told they're the one who'll make it big. Unfortunately I know plenty of them in precarious work situations because they desperately want to stay in the field of choice or they work in something entirely unrelated because the pay is better.
Life out there isn't nice and there is not a nice and fun and cozy workplace for everyone. Someone has to work at Supervalu, Dunnes, in call centers or other crappy customer support jobs because they pay money.

Permabear · 08-01-2018 11:48pm

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TheQuietFella · 08-01-2018 11:51pm

In my view and I've been one of those who went through both primary & secondary school education only to find it a complete waste of time.
The Irish educational system is not set up to cater for so many different individuals and their social economic backgrounds.

The education system needs a massive kick to bring it into the modern era.
It needs to be transformed from what it is to something totally different!
It needs to progress in it's subjects and it needs to involve local industry in its future.
Train the youth in a variety of subjects such as panel beating, plumbing, nursing, electrical, hgv/bus driving, hostelry to name but a few!

I would like to think that young adults have progressed a little more than in
my days of education so they may be a little more wiser and mature in the decision they make in regard to their future!

pgj2015 · 08-01-2018 11:54pm

LirW wrote: »

This mindset had caused a lot of people doing courses that have very little employment perspectives. Because they always got told they're the one who'll make it big. Unfortunately I know plenty of them in precarious work situations because they desperately want to stay in the field of choice or they work in something entirely unrelated because the pay is better.
Life out there isn't nice and there is not a nice and fun and cozy workplace for everyone. Someone has to work at Supervalu, Dunnes, in call centers or other crappy customer support jobs because they pay money.

I was thinking more along the lines of these kids working for themselves, then sink or swim.

Permabear · 09-01-2018 12:06am

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pgj2015 · 09-01-2018 12:07am

Permabear wrote: »

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At least they tried, we all sink at some stage but you have to just get up and keep moving.

listermint · 09-01-2018 12:10am

Stuckforcash wrote: »

The definition of homeschooling is teaching performed by the parents or a tutor in the home.

In response to being bullied in school being an important life experience in terms of learning how to cope with bullying in the work place (there's no logic there at all, but several people have said it) how do kids that don't experience being bullied in public school cope? Why do we campaign against bullying if it's such a valuable life experience? There's nothing positive to be taken from bullying.

Most homeschooled kids are involved in activities such as sports, clubs, scouts etc. so there is plenty of opportunities for social skills development. Humans, especially kids, are adaptable, you won't turn into a hermit from being home schooled. Where poor mental health is an issue, moderate social exposure can be the best form of treatment, rather than forcing a child that doesn't know why they feel the way they do, to stay in a system that distresses them years on end.

Another misconception is only the parents can be involved in teaching hence leading to an inferior education, that's not the case.

I think most of the points raised just come from a complete lack of understanding of what's involved in homeschooling.

The implied definition is home schooled meaning by the parents, not a private tutor.

Anyway no argument here I'd do the same of it was in the us education system tbh

Permabear · 09-01-2018 12:16am

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pgj2015 · 09-01-2018 12:24am

Permabear wrote: »

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I don't think so, not for me anyway. I think the big problem we have in Irish schools is having very little faith in most of the kids, from my experience all kids are good at something, but it is there shortcomings that are highlighted, not their strengths.

09-01-2018 12:31am

Here we go wrote: »

It's called school refusal David Caery was talking about in on news talk a few weeks back he said the longer /note they miss the harder it is for them to return so keeping them out is the wrong answer your supposed to go to the principal explain the situation and they sort out some one to meet them at the gate and welcome them/bring them in have a chat calm them down

I feel the same about going back to work ! Except my boss isn’t waiting at the gate to welcome me and calm me down 😏.

(Seriously though this is common with kids and staying at home is going to make it worse- doing things we don’t like and dealing with difficult situations is how we grow)

JupiterKid · 09-01-2018 12:50am

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

So you want to keep kids cotton wooled from bullying?

What happens when the bullying they have rarely experienced is doled out then in early adulthood?

Bullying is a fact of life.

A 17 year old lad who I knew who was a few years younger than me and lived a few doors up from my family home committed suicide back in the 90s. It destroyed his family. He was badly bullied in school.

Would you like to tell his family that "bullying is a fact of life?"

Noveight · 09-01-2018 12:55am

Might as well get used to the idea of home schooling given the massive shortages of teachers the country will be facing.

‘Collapse’ in numbers applying for teacher-training courses

suicide_circus · 09-01-2018 1:07am

The freedom to fail?

Kermit.de.frog · 09-01-2018 1:11am

JupiterKid wrote: »

A 17 year old lad who I knew who was a few years younger than m and lived a few doors up from my family home committed suicide back in the 90s. It destroyed his family. He was badly bullied in school.

Would you like to tell his family that "bullying is a fact of life?"

It's always existed, it always will exist. It happens to everyone at various stages.

People need to learn to cope. They need to be psychologically equipped to cope.

I concur with the IT lead poster. There are so many grads coming out of college now fragile and with their heads so far up their asses in relation to basic street smarts and social reality, work ethic and what is expected of them that I genuinely fear for these people and their ability to cope.

We are far from the only people saying this.

Not everyone will be effected in the same way from over protection. For the vast majority my view is it's deleterous to their future prospects to be wrapped in cotton wool and effectively isolated from their peers.

spurious · 09-01-2018 1:12am

Noveight wrote: »

Might as well get used to the idea of home schooling given the massive shortages of teachers the country will be facing.

‘Collapse’ in numbers applying for teacher-training courses

Or give the thousands of already trained teachers proper jobs, not part-time contracts, splitting full-time jobs.

AllForIt · 09-01-2018 1:19am

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

So you want to keep kids cotton wooled from bullying?

What happens when the bullying they have rarely experienced is doled out then in early adulthood?

Bullying is a fact of life.

IMO bullying should be a criminal offence. It is a huge problem in schools and in the workplace.

Burglaries are a fact of life but we don't just throw our hands up and say well this is real life, get used to it.

There is this attitude that bullying somehow makes a man out of you, hardens one up for life ahead. I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment.

Bullying is indeed a fact of life but it should never be allowed to continue - least of all in schools.

Sexual harassment is a form of bullying. Why did anyone like Weinstein ever think he could carry on in that way unless it was impressed on him from a young age that it was acceptable and he could get away with it.

Kids refusing to go to school

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