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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

24567…68

Comments

  • #52
    mattP
    Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭mattP


    dudara wrote:
    People who treat waitstaff and customer service people badly. Or doesn't even say thank you.


    I really agree with this one, I get treated like shyte by a lot of customers for no reason, most of it is they just don't register me as an actual person. To them im just the guy that washes their car :S


  • #53
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    The old folk probably just want the stimulation of the hustle and bustle of a busy town and some human interaction.

    Yeah I know, it is AH after all !


  • #54
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Anyone who goes on about how rich their family is. Mostly it's not even true!


  • #55
    Massimo Cassagrande
    Closed Accounts Posts: 626 ✭✭✭Massimo Cassagrande


    They "golf".
    IMO.


  • #56
    Saipanne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    professore wrote: »
    People who slavishly follow some ideology/group unquestioningly and don't admit that life is not black and white but shades of grey and think anyone who doesn't agree 100% with their guru of choice is somehow inferior / mass murderer / an idiot.

    Examples : feminism, pro life movement, pro choice movement, gay pride (how is it tasteful to parade around a city centre in nothing but a thong), water charge protesters, fad diet followers, alternative cancer treatments, and so on and so forth.

    That's my insulting of 95% of boardsies done for another year :D

    This.


  • #57
    Agricola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    People who tailgate if you are doing 5 mph below the limit, right on your bumper and constantly weaving in and out to tell you you're in their way. The worst ones don't actually overtake and just keep this shít up for mile after mile, probably expecting you to pull in!
    Either overtake or stay behind at a safe distance you fúcking twát. :mad:


  • #58
    Littlehorny
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,351 ✭✭✭Littlehorny


    Was in B+Q yesterday and a fella who was a little bit well built was walking around with his two arms so far out from his sides it looked like he was carrying two invisible buckets, took one look at him and thought........wanker :)


  • #59
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Someone should make this into a book ... some great tips here.


  • #60
    HalloweenJack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭HalloweenJack


    Boring username wrote: »
    I would draw your attention to this thread Sir:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057485675
    Saw that yesterday.

    I think my head would explode if I read that thread in it's entirety.


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  • #61
    5rtytry56
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭5rtytry56


    Senior Citizens who have to mention "the grandchildren" at least every third or fourth sentence in everyday general chitchat.


  • #62
    rawn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    Anyone who goes to the gym to beef up (rather than just to stay in good shape) and then constantly posts/talks about their progress while wearing their little brother's t-shirt. Automatic wánkbags.


  • #63
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • #64
    Saipanne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    rawn wrote: »
    Anyone who goes to the gym to beef up (rather than just to stay in good shape) and then constantly posts/talks about their progress while wearing their little brother's t-shirt. Automatic wánkbags.

    Not worth a slap, either. All show.


  • #65
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Anyone with a TapOut tshirt


  • #66
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,065 ✭✭✭Daith


    Anyone who dresses like Conor McGregor. Bonus points if they have the same hairstyle.


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  • #67
    ahnowbrowncow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,584 ✭✭✭ahnowbrowncow


    Agricola wrote: »
    People who tailgate if you are doing 5 mph below the limit, right on your bumper and constantly weaving in and out to tell you you're in their way. The worst ones don't actually overtake and just keep this shít up for mile after mile, probably expecting you to pull in!
    Either overtake or stay behind at a safe distance you fúcking twát. :mad:

    The fact that your speedometer overestimates your speed by about 5% means you're probably doing 67/68 km/h on an 80km/h road.

    Drive faster snail.

    I hate tailgaters too but i also dislike slow, inconsiderate drivers.


  • #68
    Buona Fortuna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭Buona Fortuna


    I want a t-shirt with:

    Boards.ie
    WANKER WATCH

    Black (slimming), x-large (not), and I'll wear it to the next Boards Beers.


  • #69
    hurlsey
    Registered Users Posts: 256 ✭✭hurlsey


    1.People who wear hats with t-shirts, wear a hoodie/jumper you prat
    2.Coke/pill heads
    3.SJWs
    4.LikeWhores
    5.People with buggies who don't use a pedestrian crossing, your child versus my car you Pr!ck
    5.People who don't say please and thank you
    6.People without a disability in a disabled space
    7.Anyone who's idea of current affairs is what happened on the kardashians/"insert mind numbing reality TV here"
    8.Anyone on the Yes side, who when having a discussion called me a bigoted ****- I voted yes
    9.Anyone on the no side who used any reference to God and/or the Bible to justify their argument!


  • #70
    osarusan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,694 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Anybody who feels the need to outdo somebody else's story with a better one.

    You want to Manchester? I went to New York. Let me tell you about it.

    You went to that concert? I went to this better one. let me tell you about it.


    Sure sign that they will be an insufferable bore interested only in themselves.


  • #71
    kupus
    Registered Users Posts: 4,151 ✭✭✭kupus


    People that love to spend other people's hard earned money without contributing fuk all themselves.


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  • #72
    Ol' Donie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,674 ✭✭✭✭Ol' Donie


    Daith wrote: »
    Anyone who dresses like Conor McGregor.

    Including Conor McGregor.


  • #73
    osarusan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,694 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Ol' Donie wrote: »
    Including Conor McGregor.

    I met him once. Let me tell you about it.


  • #74
    Ol' Donie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,674 ✭✭✭✭Ol' Donie


    Wanker watch dead giveaway: Anyone who announces they're going to run for president at the f*ckin MTV awards.


  • #75
    bur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,689 ✭✭✭bur


    Walking around with your hands down your pants fondling yourself.


  • #76
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    People who make long lists, except Oskar Schindler.


  • #77
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,534 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    If someone doesn't acknowledge that you've held a door open for them, then they're most certainly a wanker.

    Specifically that grumpy **** in Avoca earlier today when I held the door open for he and his daughter, while I was on the outside in the rain, and he didn't so much as look at me. If you manage to read this, you sir, are a wanker.


  • #78
    hurlsey
    Registered Users Posts: 256 ✭✭hurlsey


    hurlsey wrote: »
    1.People who wear hats with t-shirts, wear a hoodie/jumper you prat
    2.Coke/pill heads
    3.SJWs
    4.LikeWhores
    5.People with buggies who don't use a pedestrian crossing, your child versus my car you Pr!ck
    5.People who don't say please and thank you
    6.People without a disability in a disabled space
    7.Anyone who's idea of current affairs is what happened on the kardashians/"insert mind numbing reality TV here"
    8.Anyone on the Yes side, who when having a discussion called me a bigoted ****- I voted yes
    9.Anyone on the no side who used any reference to God and/or the Bible to justify their argument!

    Oh 10. Anyone who still brings up anything that happened while travelling having been home a year or more! And know I don't care if it was the best experience of your life you pretentious pontificating Pr!ck/C@nt!


  • #79
    Agricola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    ahnowbrowncow wrote: »
    The fact that your speedometer overestimates your speed by about 5% means you're probably doing 67/68 km/h on an 80km/h road.

    Drive faster snail.

    I hate tailgaters too but i also dislike slow, inconsiderate drivers.

    Think I've just found a new way of spotting **** :D


  • #80
    boobar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,226 ✭✭✭boobar


    Asshats that post nonsense on Facebook...that face you make when "insert inane nonsense"

    Worse, the freaks who "like" it


  • #81
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Loud types in rugby shirts with collars standing up.

    Invariably insufferable.


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  • #82
    SSLguru
    Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭SSLguru


    Someone who promotes the reckless open borders policy this country has.

    Of course if you oppose reckless mass immigration they will scream "racist " at you whilst then droning on about diversity.

    White guilt is eating them alive


  • #83
    PTH2009
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,922 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    The only guy who hangs out with a group of girls

    Rude customers

    Guys who say the same crap Irish jokes eg father Ted imitations


  • #84
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    People who use what should be lighthearted threads to soapbox their hate-filled agendas.


  • #85
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,534 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    They use various forms and derivatives of the word "banter" to describe their various acts of wankerishness.


  • #86
    Truckermal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,047 ✭✭✭Truckermal


    A fat man with glasses from Offaly whose named Brian.


  • #87
    Fratton Fred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,567 ✭✭✭✭Fratton Fred


    A Celtic shirt is an indication that there is a 75% chance the wearer is a complete wanker.


  • #88
    tayto lover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 52,383 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    Lads using selfie sticks and always photographing themselves.


  • #89
    PTH2009
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,922 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    5rtytry56 wrote: »
    Senior Citizens who have to mention "the grandchildren" at least every third or fourth sentence in everyday general chitchat.

    Oh my grandson is doing medicine in Trinity , he's going out with a lovely girl , he's a lovely young fella


  • #90
    dd972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭dd972


    People who think being born and reared in Ireland is some sort of achievement and think it makes them earthier, witter and more authentic than everybody else ( who apparently want to be them ).


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  • #91
    Sheep Lover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,730 ✭✭✭Sheep Lover


    People with their hands down their jocks pulling themself's asunder.


  • #92
    Anesthetize
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,465 ✭✭✭Anesthetize


    The only tossers are people who judge others by their appearance.


  • #93
    Just1nlucas
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Just1nlucas


    People who cycle on footpaths, and look at you as if you should move.


  • #94
    Panthro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,825 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    People to walk around backwards


  • #95
    SSLguru
    Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭SSLguru


    People who encourage mass immigration whilst we are in the middle of a housing crisis and can't even look after our own


  • #96
    SSLguru
    Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭SSLguru


    People who quote conor mcgregor


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  • #97
    SSLguru
    Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭SSLguru


    People who wear beats headphones you're just asking for an egg off the head


  • #98
    StupidLikeAFox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,721 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    Patww79 wrote: »
    Great sentiment there buddy. Let's run that one up the flagpole and see who salutes.

    OK we are getting sidetracked with the office sayings guys, I think we will take that one offline


  • #99
    tayto lover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 52,383 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    Women who have all their groceries through the checkout and then go rummaging through their handbags looking for their purse.
    Have your feckin money ready.


  • #100
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,675 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    Anesthetize wrote: »
    The only tossers are people who judge others by their appearance.

    So if you saw someone with a swastika tattoo are you saying you wouldn't judge them to be a tosser?


  • #101
    PTH2009
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,922 ✭✭✭✭PTH2009


    Pub owners/workers who say they love to have the Craic with there regulars but hate them really

    Youngfellas who act like old men . Drinking guiness etc


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