Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

rawn · 31-08-2015 06:30PM

Anyone who goes to the gym to beef up (rather than just to stay in good shape) and then constantly posts/talks about their progress while wearing their little brother's t-shirt. Automatic wánkbags.

OldMrBrennan83 · 31-08-2015 06:33PM

This post has been deleted.

Saipanne · 31-08-2015 06:34PM

rawn wrote: »

Anyone who goes to the gym to beef up (rather than just to stay in good shape) and then constantly posts/talks about their progress while wearing their little brother's t-shirt. Automatic wánkbags.

Not worth a slap, either. All show.

biko · 31-08-2015 06:36PM

Anyone with a TapOut tshirt

Daith · 31-08-2015 06:39PM

Anyone who dresses like Conor McGregor. Bonus points if they have the same hairstyle.

ahnowbrowncow · 31-08-2015 06:40PM

Agricola wrote: »

People who tailgate if you are doing 5 mph below the limit, right on your bumper and constantly weaving in and out to tell you you're in their way. The worst ones don't actually overtake and just keep this shít up for mile after mile, probably expecting you to pull in!
Either overtake or stay behind at a safe distance you fúcking twát. :mad:

The fact that your speedometer overestimates your speed by about 5% means you're probably doing 67/68 km/h on an 80km/h road.

Drive faster snail.

I hate tailgaters too but i also dislike slow, inconsiderate drivers.

Buona Fortuna · 31-08-2015 06:40PM

I want a t-shirt with:

Boards.ie
WANKER WATCH

Black (slimming), x-large (not), and I'll wear it to the next Boards Beers.

hurlsey · 31-08-2015 06:42PM

1.People who wear hats with t-shirts, wear a hoodie/jumper you prat
2.Coke/pill heads
3.SJWs
4.LikeWhores
5.People with buggies who don't use a pedestrian crossing, your child versus my car you Pr!ck
5.People who don't say please and thank you
6.People without a disability in a disabled space
7.Anyone who's idea of current affairs is what happened on the kardashians/"insert mind numbing reality TV here"
8.Anyone on the Yes side, who when having a discussion called me a bigoted ****- I voted yes
9.Anyone on the no side who used any reference to God and/or the Bible to justify their argument!

osarusan · 31-08-2015 06:42PM

Anybody who feels the need to outdo somebody else's story with a better one.

You want to Manchester? I went to New York. Let me tell you about it.

You went to that concert? I went to this better one. let me tell you about it.

Sure sign that they will be an insufferable bore interested only in themselves.

kupus · 31-08-2015 06:42PM

People that love to spend other people's hard earned money without contributing fuk all themselves.

Ol' Donie · 31-08-2015 06:43PM

Daith wrote: »

Anyone who dresses like Conor McGregor.

Including Conor McGregor.

osarusan · 31-08-2015 06:45PM

Ol' Donie wrote: »

Including Conor McGregor.

I met him once. Let me tell you about it.

Ol' Donie · 31-08-2015 06:46PM

Wanker watch dead giveaway: Anyone who announces they're going to run for president at the f*ckin MTV awards.

bur · 31-08-2015 06:48PM

Walking around with your hands down your pants fondling yourself.

Junkyard Tom · 31-08-2015 06:48PM

People who make long lists, except Oskar Schindler.

EagererBeaver · 31-08-2015 06:51PM

If someone doesn't acknowledge that you've held a door open for them, then they're most certainly a wanker.

Specifically that grumpy **** in Avoca earlier today when I held the door open for he and his daughter, while I was on the outside in the rain, and he didn't so much as look at me. If you manage to read this, you sir, are a wanker.

hurlsey · 31-08-2015 06:52PM

hurlsey wrote: »

1.People who wear hats with t-shirts, wear a hoodie/jumper you prat
2.Coke/pill heads
3.SJWs
4.LikeWhores
5.People with buggies who don't use a pedestrian crossing, your child versus my car you Pr!ck
5.People who don't say please and thank you
6.People without a disability in a disabled space
7.Anyone who's idea of current affairs is what happened on the kardashians/"insert mind numbing reality TV here"
8.Anyone on the Yes side, who when having a discussion called me a bigoted ****- I voted yes
9.Anyone on the no side who used any reference to God and/or the Bible to justify their argument!

Oh 10. Anyone who still brings up anything that happened while travelling having been home a year or more! And know I don't care if it was the best experience of your life you pretentious pontificating Pr!ck/C@nt!

Agricola · 31-08-2015 06:53PM

ahnowbrowncow wrote: »

The fact that your speedometer overestimates your speed by about 5% means you're probably doing 67/68 km/h on an 80km/h road.

Drive faster snail.

I hate tailgaters too but i also dislike slow, inconsiderate drivers.

Think I've just found a new way of spotting ****

boobar · 31-08-2015 06:54PM

Asshats that post nonsense on Facebook...that face you make when "insert inane nonsense"

Worse, the freaks who "like" it

31-08-2015 06:55PM

Loud types in rugby shirts with collars standing up.

Invariably insufferable.

SSLguru · 31-08-2015 06:58PM

Someone who promotes the reckless open borders policy this country has.

Of course if you oppose reckless mass immigration they will scream "racist " at you whilst then droning on about diversity.

White guilt is eating them alive

PTH2009 · 31-08-2015 06:59PM

The only guy who hangs out with a group of girls

Rude customers

Guys who say the same crap Irish jokes eg father Ted imitations

The Backwards Man · 31-08-2015 07:00PM

People who use what should be lighthearted threads to soapbox their hate-filled agendas.

EagererBeaver · 31-08-2015 07:01PM

They use various forms and derivatives of the word "banter" to describe their various acts of wankerishness.

Truckermal · 31-08-2015 07:03PM

A fat man with glasses from Offaly whose named Brian.

Fratton Fred · 31-08-2015 07:04PM

A Celtic shirt is an indication that there is a 75% chance the wearer is a complete wanker.

tayto lover · 31-08-2015 07:04PM

Lads using selfie sticks and always photographing themselves.

PTH2009 · 31-08-2015 07:05PM

5rtytry56 wrote: »

Senior Citizens who have to mention "the grandchildren" at least every third or fourth sentence in everyday general chitchat.

Oh my grandson is doing medicine in Trinity , he's going out with a lovely girl , he's a lovely young fella

dd972 · 31-08-2015 07:07PM

People who think being born and reared in Ireland is some sort of achievement and think it makes them earthier, witter and more authentic than everybody else ( who apparently want to be them ).

Sheep Lover · 31-08-2015 07:08PM

People with their hands down their jocks pulling themself's asunder.

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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