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The one that got away. Sigh.

  • 23-08-2019 9:42pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    Do you have one? Is there someone you think about wistfully on a rainy sunday afternoon? Do you ponder their whereabouts or stalk their facebook or think about that trip you took together where it seemed like everything in the world made sense for a magical moment, before reality kicked in and pulled you apart?

    i'm not sure if i have just one. i have moments that were so full of meaning and connection with guys that would transition out of my life days or weeks later. guys that i probably didn't have any real world potential with due to some very solid real-life circumstances, but that still left a part of me wondering. i'll always wonder about John from San Diego and the way he used to look at me. or that time Taylor kissed me out of nowhere outside of that bar in New York.

    what i've learned in love and relationships is that it's not about those magical moments that make your head spin, it's about the gritty, boring, annoying, complicated ones in between and who is willing to stick around and stand beside you through them.

    it seems to me though, as if so many people have that one person that they think about and wonder "what if...", no matter how good or how bad their lives are. Do you have one?

    Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.


«134

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,221 ✭✭✭✭odyssey06


    I know what you mean ... you see your ex married and wonder wait could that have been me?

    but lately I feel the opposite... I more wonder if I had got the one I got earlier how my life would have played out.

    "To follow knowledge like a sinking star..." (Tennyson's Ulysses)



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭0lddog


    You talking about the trout that got away ?

    Was huge - must have been at least 6 lbs

    It was a long time ago - still have regrets


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Follow them on social media. You’ll realise then that they’re just another dickhead posting ‘Sunday Funday’ like everyone else and the only amazing things about them were things you imagined on their behalf.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,026 ✭✭✭PsychoPete


    Yes but I did learn a valuable lesson from it, always make sure the padlock is on the basement door


  • Registered Users Posts: 888 ✭✭✭fmpisces


    Hell yeah, Summer romance of '94 with a guy on holiday's from Chicago in my hometown. My first "love", or at least the first guy who I really felt something special for. Two years later I moved to London, and apparently he came back to visit and had looked for me. This I found out when we reconnected through Facebook about 9 years ago. Like me, he had kids and had married but was getting divorced. We kept in contact for months and then I guess he moved on.

    I think as we get older it's only normal to reminisce, and even though I thought about him sometimes ultimately we were not meant to be. Such is life!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,293 ✭✭✭pinkyeye


    Yeah, I had a fella years ago and he brought me to some beautiful places in the world and was the greatest in bed I'd had before that and ever since and I finished it because I couldn't see us living together.

    My loss.:o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,940 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    #UnansweredPrayers


  • Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The past is a foreign country to me. Dwelling about what could have been is the most futile thing in the world.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,830 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    One night I met somebody in The Bailey in Cork.(It was sort of a late bar and closed now).
    She was sort of a friend of a friend.
    We met at the bar and it was quite noisy and ended up in sort of a very quite smoking area where we basically chatted for the night and shared some personal stories about our lives.
    I think we went for food afterwords.
    It almost felt like the park scene from Notting Hill.
    I could have kept it going.
    I felt not good enough for her tough to be honest and thought she'd have a better life without me.
    So, I didn't stay in contact with her.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    bitofabind wrote: »
    Do you have one?
    I have two, the only two women I've ever truly loved and knew they felt the same. Occasionally I do ponder a certain and oft wistful what if alright. In both cases external circumstances were the rocks we foundered upon. Indeed the only arguments we had in both cases were those circumstances. The "us" part we never fought over, unlike every other medium or long term relationships I've had. If I had a time machine and could go back and remove those circumstances I do wonder would we be good, even great, with the usual small issues that pop up with any couples, or would the lack of circumstances show up incompatibilities by their absence, because they had been a "common enemy" we could focus on? But since I have neither an atomic powered DeLorean or a blue Police box, I'll never know. :)
    what i've learned in love and relationships is that it's not about those magical moments that make your head spin, it's about the gritty, boring, annoying, complicated ones in between and who is willing to stick around and stand beside you through them.
    Very true.
    0lddog wrote: »
    You talking about the trout that got away ?

    Was huge - must have been at least 6 lbs

    It was a long time ago - still have regrets
    A six pounder would be a loss alright OD. Mine would probably be a trout of about four pounds in old money, in a small river, so mahooosive in that setting. He gently sucked down a size 16 parachute Tups(parachute tyings being cutting edge at the time) on the edge of a riffle and I thought him to be a small fish. Until I struck. Jaysus, well I thought "oh oh, I'm gonna need water skis or a bigger boat". :) I was running IIRC either a 6X or even 8X cast and but for a couple of years in the 90's I always had a silk line, which are fantastic but have no give at all, so I couldn't haul at him. I fought him for five odd minutes I reckon as he dogged down to the bottom as big brownies will, but then he went all rainbow trout and jumped a few times. That's when I caught sight of him. He was a beauty, golden brown with big red spots and a big wide tail. By this stage The Da(tm) had heard my profane invocations to various deities and had hotfooted over with sage advice. Precisely none of which I could even process and my replies never rose about "look at the size of him!!" with added expletives. He was showing no sense of tiring(the trout, not the Da) and on one of those mad dashes into the air, he threw the hook. Well, it was all I could do to not cry. But I was glad the line didn't break and leave the hook in him, so off he went muttering "dopey muppet" in the language of the fishes. :D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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  • Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    All the time.

    It was a long time ago, and in another country. We matched on Tinder. She was interested in all of the same things I was, she was perfect. I knew from the start I'd fuck it up. I was going through all sorts of personal things at the time, my Dad was terminally ill and I was probably having some kind of breakdown (I'm oversharing now, but I've started so I'll finish).

    The first day we met, I was so nervous I was probably speaking 50Hz higher in pitch than usual, and kept stammering my words, which I do when anxious. I was anxious because she was exactly my type and (I cannot stress this enough), I knew I'd fuck it up.

    So I met her outside her office and we went for coffee. After the nerves subsided, we had an immediate, intense connection. We shared a common love of Coen Brothers movies, Schopenhauer, Rimbaud and Marloboro Reds. When the waiter cleared our tables, we walked in the direction of her house, and sat on a park bench until the warden kicked us out.

    We met again the next day and confirmed that we were both already mad about one another. I finally worked up the courage to kiss her, and walked three miles home with a tetanus-grin fixed to my face.

    On the third day, she met my friends for drinks, and later came home to my apartment. We drank my flatmate's Jameson, I read her poems by Patrick Kavanagh and she quoted Robert Lowell by heart. It was at this moment, I knew I adored her, and so the end must be nigh.

    On the fourth day, Saturday, I lost the plot. After she left, I went back to bed and didn't leave my room until the following Monday, except to go to the loo. I remember feeling extremely depersonalised, like I was watching myself through some kind of out-of-body experience. I can only relate it to coming down from a drug (I was sober throughout the previous few days).

    I didn't turn my phone on until Sunday, then rather than explain anything to her I blocked her on Whatsapp and Instagram (real cnut behaviour, I know). If I felt anything, it was a deep despair that I was fcuking something up, and yet I wanted to fcuk it up.

    Over the next few days, I started to tell myself that it had been a perfect relationship, the most perfect of my life, and do go any further would spoil it (very Schopenhauer). But for her, I'm the guy whom she probably thinks pretended to be fascinated by her (I was), slept with her, and then blocked her. By the time I got out of my funk and realised that, it was too late to go back and reassure her that I'd just gone temporarily insane.

    I still wonder what would happen if I hadn't had thrown that wobbler, I know for sure I have never had such a connection with anyone else since. It sounds like a bad short story (and is the length of one, apologies), but it's entirely true and given that it paints me in such a bad light, not something I am proud of.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,498 ✭✭✭cml387


    Met someone who was a friend of my friends fiance in Galway 100 years ago (anyone remember McSwiggan's, yeah, around that time).
    Had an identical sense of humour, really connected, but geography and carelessness on my part just let it fade away.

    Years later my friend tells me he met her after a long time by chance and they fell to reminiscing.
    When my name came up she sighed and said "Ah yes B****, the one that got away".

    But it's just one of those things. Sliding doors.


  • Registered Users Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    @A Tyrant Named Miltiades!, it sounds like you were going through some dark stuff at the time. And it just wasn't the right time to be with this lady. So much of this is timing.

    i think we can tend to romanticise the "connections" too, as they can seem so rare, but retrospectively i don't think that's usually the core ingredient that binds two people together in the longterm. it's more about the willingness to commit to each other and compatibility on teh more boring stuff. feeling a connection is the lovely chemicals, but without the other boring stuff its largely just a fleeting thing and no indicator of a real lasting love potential.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,409 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    The "one" that got away.

    We actually lived beside each other as kids ,her with her mop of curls and me showing absolutely no interest whatsoever in her , didn't even like her.

    We met again when both of us were in our early twenties .
    She had now grown into someone beautiful in my eyes. She still her curls but now smiled at me when spoke to me , held hands with me when we were out and was what seemed my soul mate

    And then it happened , she left Ireland to study abroad , we promised we'd stay in touch and planned visits .

    It never really was going to work and eventually fizzled out.

    Years later , with a failed marriage behind me , I heard through an acquaintance that she was back in Ireland after her own marriage has ended .

    One Christmas as I was shopping in Liffey Valley this small figure walked past me , same curls , walk and shape .
    I couldn't believe my eyes , I quickly caught up with her , reached out , touched her shoulder and called her name .

    It wasn't her at all.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,355 ✭✭✭bo0li5eumx12kp


    bitofabind wrote: »
    Do you have one? Is there someone you think about wistfully on a rainy sunday afternoon? Do you ponder their whereabouts or stalk their facebook or think about that trip you took together where it seemed like everything in the world made sense for a magical moment, before reality kicked in and pulled you apart?

    i'm not sure if i have just one. i have moments that were so full of meaning and connection with guys that would transition out of my life days or weeks later. guys that i probably didn't have any real world potential with due to some very solid real-life circumstances, but that still left a part of me wondering. i'll always wonder about John from San Diego and the way he used to look at me. or that time Taylor kissed me out of nowhere outside of that bar in New York.

    what i've learned in love and relationships is that it's not about those magical moments that make your head spin, it's about the gritty, boring, annoying, complicated ones in between and who is willing to stick around and stand beside you through them.

    it seems to me though, as if so many people have that one person that they think about and wonder "what if...", no matter how good or how bad their lives are. Do you have one?

    Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

    To be honest - I don't think that's ever happened to me.

    It's more frequent I think about and them this surging relief - "dodged a damn bullet there" - floods over me, then I smile wistfully - so I guess we got the "wistful" in common, though perhaps mine is more, "wince wistfully".

    When I was a pimple faced kid and hooked up with this blonde, several levels above me on a school tour - I was heartbroken when he basically blanked me after, but all this sh1t is relative.

    Now I'm a stacked alpha stud with two college degrees, and sometimes when I look in the mirror - it hurts - hurts so good.


    All that being said - I'm reasonably confident some chicks feel that way about me - but not the me from back then.

    Only if they've seen me more recently and bore witness to the sex machine I have become.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭Snotty


    Mine ones that got away are all girls I should have had sex with but didn't because I was too nervous.

    The one that i made sure never got away is laying beside me here snoring her little heart out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    pinkyeye wrote: »
    Yeah, I had a fella years ago and he brought me to some beautiful places in the world and was the greatest in bed I'd had before that and ever since and I finished it because I couldn't see us living together.

    My loss.:o

    Bad flatulance had he?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Tammy!


    I use too but I don't feel he was anymore. It was a teenage thing for me and he was a bit older. Not old enough that it was bad but old enough that it wouldnt really have been appropriate and he technically never crossed the line. We barely ever talked. The tension between us was really strong though and so awkward.

    I remember sitting down watching TV and he was sitting beside me and he had his arms folded but started stroking my side. The sexual tension at that stage was so built up that it was the most bizarre feeling but nice like our breathing was in sync..it was strange.

    Anyway I returned the favour to him one night when we happened to end up sat very close to one another and leaned my elbow in towards his side and he choked!! He turned around to say something to his sister who was sat next to me and was like 'eh eh eh'...some jibberish :D I went out to the toilet and he had moved seats :)

    My family moved away a while after that. Theres a bit more to it but met him out once a good while later. He said something mean to me, then apologized...

    I don't feel anything now but at the time it would have been nice :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,021 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    He was 37, I was 17 (he was 36, I was 19) but all else applies


  • Registered Users Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Tammy! wrote: »
    I use too but I don't feel he was anymore. It was a teenage thing for me and he was a bit older. Not old enough that it was bad but old enough that it wouldnt really have been appropriate and he technically never crossed the line. We barely ever talked. The tension between us was really strong though and so awkward.

    I remember sitting down watching TV and he was sitting beside me and he had his arms folded but started stroking my side. The sexual tension at that stage was so built up that it was the most bizarre feeling but nice like our breathing was in sync..it was strange.

    Anyway I returned the favour to him one night when we happened to end up sat very close to one another and leaned my elbow in towards his side and he choked!! He turned around to say something to his sister who was sat next to me and was like 'eh eh eh'...some jibberish :D I went out to the toilet and he had moved seats :)

    My family moved away a while after that. Theres a bit more to it but met him out once a good while later. He said something mean to me, then apologized...

    I don't feel anything now but at the time it would have been nice :)

    I’d say he went out to the jacks to knock one out


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Tammy!


    I’d say he went out to the jacks to knock one out

    Maybe, I don't know :D

    I was going to say something there but I won't say anymore :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,696 ✭✭✭Pretzill



    It wasn't her at all.

    :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 403 ✭✭bizidea


    Worked in london in my late teens on a building site beside a garden centre one day an old scottish guy who was a bit out there told me when I was walking up to the shop at lunchtime to look into the green house of the garden centre that there was an angel there for me I was thinking wtf is this mad old fkr on about so on the way I glanced in there was the most amazing looking girl id ever seen she glanced up and smiled right at me. That afternoon I was standing on the site and just as I looked out here she was again she smiled and I smiled back I seen her many times over the next two or three weeks it was so weird it was nearly like we could sense each others presence it was like even though we were busy or engrossed in our work we just looked up and smiled when the other passed by.one evening I was working right beside the footpath I looked up and there she was I smiled and she smiled I said hi she said hi she stopped and I stopped she waited but I was a silly shy teenager and said nothing she said nothing then she carried on walking the scottish guy was working nearby came over and said I told you she was an angel for you. But that was it I never seen her again I often wondered what would have happened if I wasn't that awkward teen and had just said anything to her I can still see her now absolutely beautiful dark haired girl its mad


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,681 ✭✭✭✭Deja Boo


    thread needs a poll :o :pac:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,964 ✭✭✭Blueshoe


    Iv seen her slowly get fat over the past few years and her "new" fella left her recently due to her mentalness.

    Bullet dodged in hindsight


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭RhubarbCrumble


    PsychoPete wrote: »
    Yes but I did learn a valuable lesson from it, always make sure the padlock is on the basement door

    Username checks out :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    The one that got away? Yeah I remember it well. Was a dark cave. And then it happened... a shiny Mewtwo. Then the battery died :mad:


  • Posts: 13,688 ✭✭✭✭ Clarissa Narrow Peacock


    One always sticks out for me. A truly great friend that could have been more. She was good friends with my cousin and told her she fancied me. She told me that she fancied me.

    I was too busy chasing wans that had not the remotest of interest in me haha. Of all the wans I met in me teens, I regret not seeing if things would work with her. To this day I don't think I've gotten on with someone so well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭ardinn


    0lddog wrote: »
    You talking about the trout that got away ?

    Was huge - must have been at least 6 lbs

    Dont talk to me, never seen one like it!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Tammy!


    One always sticks out for me. A truly great friend that could have been more. She was good friends with my cousin and told her she fancied me. She told me that she fancied me.

    I was too busy chasing wans that had not the remotest of interest in me haha. Of all the wans I met in me teens, I regret not seeing if things would work with her. To this day I don't think I've gotten on with someone so well.

    Awh that's nice ...I mean that you got on so well! Not related but Im like that with an old friend of mine and one of my old neighbours who has since passed away - two of the most funny people I've ever met!! The type that would make you laugh at any of occasion and into a fit of giggles :)

    I think there's things like 'the one who got away' and then there's the reality of actually living, staying with someone etc. That's why it's so nice when you see first loves who stick together because they've kind of had the fantasy part and stuck through the boring parts...and find other ways or are just super compatible..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭ardinn


    Yes

    My first proper gf. Lets call her ms jackson.

    Stunning, wild, beautiful inside and out and she was my girl for nearly three years. She was so far out of my league I was forever jealous and petrified a good looking rich guy would take her away - and due to this I probably smothered her, would get angry when she spoke to lads I felt as a threat and became paranoid to a huge degree.

    In the end I broke up with her, and she tried and tried to to get us back together but I was a gobshíte of the highest degree.

    I see the same thing happening now with a girl who works for me, I want to tell her he will pull through like I did, but its something you have to learn I think. I used to think what if, but, looking back, what we both learned from the experience probably bettered us both.

    She ended up fúcking one of my best friends not long after, that broke me, I was destroyed for a while after, but again got over it. I hope she is doing great - I havnt spoken to that friend in about 10 years tho, I hope he has a terrible, painful death.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Tammy!


    ardinn wrote: »
    Yes

    My first proper gf. Lets call her ms jackson.

    Stunning, wild, beautiful inside and out and she was my girl for nearly three years. She was so far out of my league I was forever jealous and petrified a good looking rich guy would take her away - and due to this I probably smothered her, would get angry when she spoke to lads I felt as a threat and became paranoid to a huge degree.

    In the end I broke up with her, and she tried and tried to to get us back together but I was a gobshíte of the highest degree.

    I see the same thing happening now with a girl who works for me, I want to tell her he will pull through like I did, but its something you have to learn I think. I used to think what if, but, looking back, what we both learned from the experience probably bettered us both.

    She ended up fúcking one of my best friends not long after, that broke me, I was destroyed for a while after, but again got over it. I hope she is doing great - I havnt spoken to that friend in about 10 years tho, I hope he has a terrible, painful death.

    So you have mixed feelings about it all :p:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,246 ✭✭✭ardinn


    Tammy! wrote: »
    So you have mixed feelings about it all :p:D

    Ye - still think about it all - have great memories, but i still get a twitch in my gut on what they did!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Tammy!


    ardinn wrote: »
    Ye - still think about it all - have great memories, but i still get a twitch in my gut on what they did!

    Sorry I was joking and originally only half read your post. Of course you do!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Yeah, the summer after the leaving met this girl. We used to just drive around and listen to Radiohead all the time. On her 18th birthday we got the same tattoos. I remember we used to steal her parents alcohol and climb up on her roof and talk about the future and stuff. Never thought one day I'd have lost her. Someone told me she had the tattoo removed. Can't help think that in another life she'd still be mine.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    The one that got away? Ah yes, I remember well. She was seriously fast. I later heard she won a medal for the 100m.


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    The first cut is the deepest.

    You never forget the first person who you fell in love with.


    I'll always remember mine. I fcked it up so badly. We were going out but I was a 16 yr old kid who had a tendency to stray with drink on board.


    I wish I had her now. I think of her sometimes when having relations with my partner.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,958 ✭✭✭✭Shefwedfan


    Never....moved on

    I wonder about career choices more, what if I didn’t leave the Tesco you department job, if I stayed what would I be doing now etc etc

    Ladies, well no....at this stage majority I can’t remember names just details like she had red hair....Facebook stalking? Nope either....pointless exercise


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,836 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    Snotty wrote: »
    The one that i made sure never got away is laying beside me here snoring her little heart out.

    Awwwww. That's lovely


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    I almost did. Years of friendship and skirting around the clear attraction that was there. Thankfully we both copped ourselves on and now we’re married. The song we had our first kiss to played on the radio yesterday. Still got that butterfly feeling in my stomach remembering that kiss.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,714 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    Wibbs wrote: »
    I have two, the only two women I've ever truly loved and knew they felt the same. Occasionally I do ponder a certain and oft wistful what if alright. In both cases external circumstances were the rocks we foundered upon. Indeed the only arguments we had in both cases were those circumstances. The "us" part we never fought over, unlike every other medium or long term relationships I've had. If I had a time machine and could go back and remove those circumstances I do wonder would we be good, even great, with the usual small issues that pop up with any couples, or would the lack of circumstances show up incompatibilities by their absence, because they had been a "common enemy" we could focus on? But since I have neither an atomic powered DeLorean or a blue Police box, I'll never know. :)

    Very true.

    A six pounder would be a loss alright OD. Mine would probably be a trout of about four pounds in old money, in a small river, so mahooosive in that setting. He gently sucked down a size 16 parachute Tups(parachute tyings being cutting edge at the time) on the edge of a riffle and I thought him to be a small fish. Until I struck. Jaysus, well I thought "oh oh, I'm gonna need water skis or a bigger boat". :) I was running IIRC either a 6X or even 8X cast and but for a couple of years in the 90's I always had a silk line, which are fantastic but have no give at all, so I couldn't haul at him. I fought him for five odd minutes I reckon as he dogged down to the bottom as big brownies will, but then he went all rainbow trout and jumped a few times. That's when I caught sight of him. He was a beauty, golden brown with big red spots and a big wide tail. By this stage The Da(tm) had heard my profane invocations to various deities and had hotfooted over with sage advice. Precisely none of which I could even process and my replies never rose about "look at the size of him!!" with added expletives. He was showing no sense of tiring(the trout, not the Da) and on one of those mad dashes into the air, he threw the hook. Well, it was all I could do to not cry. But I was glad the line didn't break and leave the hook in him, so off he went muttering "dopey muppet" in the language of the fishes. :D

    I know the feeling, landed a 4lb a few weeks ago, after catching a few tiddlers, I struck into a fish, but it was different.. It felt like a concrete block moving through the water and all I could think was oh **** the drag is tightened, followed by a whizzing reel after I loosened it, heart in the mouth stuff when your in a battle with a fish like that, I actually got down into the river trying to land it, I would have lost sleep for weeks if he broke me off or threw the hook


  • Posts: 13,688 ✭✭✭✭ Clarissa Narrow Peacock


    Tammy! wrote: »
    One always sticks out for me. A truly great friend that could have been more. She was good friends with my cousin and told her she fancied me. She told me that she fancied me.

    I was too busy chasing wans that had not the remotest of interest in me haha. Of all the wans I met in me teens, I regret not seeing if things would work with her. To this day I don't think I've gotten on with someone so well.

    Awh that's nice ...I mean that you got on so well! Not related but Im like that with an old friend of mine and one of my old neighbours who has since passed away - two of the most funny people I've ever met!! The type that would make you laugh at any of occasion and into a fit of giggles :)

    I think there's things like 'the one who got away' and then there's the reality of actually living, staying with someone etc. That's why it's so nice when you see first loves who stick together because they've kind of had the fantasy part and stuck through the boring parts...and find other ways or are just super compatible..
    Second part is spot on. About a month after I finished school I moved into a place with my gf at the time. We had been good friends throughout senior cycle in secondary school and started going out a couple of months before finishing.

    Living with someone is a whole new world.

    Things ended amicably and we still chat away if we bump into each other but living with someone is a stern test.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 964 ✭✭✭Reviews and Books Galore


    You know, I was drinking craft beer* with a french guy and a Taiwanese guy and during the lull in the conversation, I glanced outside and saw a blonde girl with curly hair walking past in the sulphuric yellow smoggy air. I started to think about what it would be like to go home with her and so on and so forth. It was a bit of a wistful moment and I do remember the weirdness of drinking foreign beer around foreign people and how transient that pleasure actually was.



    In reality, I was dissatisfied with my life and my current gf (eh, dissatisfied is a wrong term, more just two people who were at one stage and then changed to another), and the wishfull thinking towards another person was just a kind of negative space for your dissatisfactions with your current mode of living.



    Still, woulda rode my friend. Would have rode.





    *Sounds douchey but it is oddly important


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    There was one guy who came on to me on the dance floor of a loud, crowded pub but then when we went to the bar and he heard me speak went "ah you're not Polish" and walked off.

    Absolute ride so he was. If I had kept my mouth shut (well...) for another while, who knows?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,714 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    You weren’t Polish but you looked "as good as" a Polish woman.

    What weird logic.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    I'm sure I do but I don't dwell on it.
    I hope you lads can get over it at some stage.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    I feel if they got away they weren't yours to keep.
    Still have one though. My Berlin holiday romance. Of all the bars in all the world he walked into mine. We spent a week cycling around Berlin, listening to Beach House, drinking beers, swimming in lakes. I'll never forget him.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,536 ✭✭✭touts


    The one that stands out as "got away" was an English girl I met while in college. Heard her on the BBC a few months ago and now she is a lawyer specialising in women's rights and stuff and I couldn't help remember our time together. Back then she was very clear about what she wanted and no problem showing me how to help her get there. I remember a few days in we had the what's your number conversation and she certainly had lots of experience and confidence in that regard especially compared to a relatively innocent Irish lad. We were together for a few months before it ended pretty amicable due to her moving to England for a postgrad and me staying in Ireland and I've no problem saying I credit her with teaching me most of what I know about women and it served me well. Happy memories when I heard her on the radio and I wasn't surprised that she now fights to put women first.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    touts wrote: »
    The one that stands out as "got away" was an English girl I met while in college. Heard her on the BBC a few months ago and now she is a lawyer specialising in women's rights and stuff and I couldn't help remember our time together. Back then she was very clear about what she wanted and no problem showing me how to help her get there. I remember a few days in we had the what's your number conversation and she certainly had lots of experience and confidence in that regard especially compared to a relatively innocent Irish lad. We were together for a few months before it ended pretty amicable due to her moving to England for a postgrad and me staying in Ireland and I've no problem saying I credit her with teaching me most of what I know about women and it served me well. Happy memories when I heard her on the radio and I wasn't surprised that she now fights to put women first.
    That's brilliant :)


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