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Child Item

The one that got away. Sigh.

bitofabind

Do you have one? Is there someone you think about wistfully on a rainy sunday afternoon? Do you ponder their whereabouts or stalk their facebook or think about that trip you took together where it seemed like everything in the world made sense for a magical moment, before reality kicked in and pulled you apart?

i'm not sure if i have just one. i have moments that were so full of meaning and connection with guys that would transition out of my life days or weeks later. guys that i probably didn't have any real world potential with due to some very solid real-life circumstances, but that still left a part of me wondering. i'll always wonder about John from San Diego and the way he used to look at me. or that time Taylor kissed me out of nowhere outside of that bar in New York.

what i've learned in love and relationships is that it's not about those magical moments that make your head spin, it's about the gritty, boring, annoying, complicated ones in between and who is willing to stick around and stand beside you through them.

it seems to me though, as if so many people have that one person that they think about and wonder "what if...", no matter how good or how bad their lives are. Do you have one?

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

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Earthhorse

One? I have several...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzdF77CoLE0

bee06

I almost did. Years of friendship and skirting around the clear attraction that was there. Thankfully we both copped ourselves on and now we’re married. The song we had our first kiss to played on the radio yesterday. Still got that butterfly feeling in my stomach remembering that kiss.

tea and coffee

Snotty wrote: »

The one that i made sure never got away is laying beside me here snoring her little heart out.

Awwwww. That's lovely

Shefwedfan

Never....moved on

I wonder about career choices more, what if I didn’t leave the Tesco you department job, if I stayed what would I be doing now etc etc

Ladies, well no....at this stage majority I can’t remember names just details like she had red hair....Facebook stalking? Nope either....pointless exercise

DEFTLEFTHAND

The first cut is the deepest.

You never forget the first person who you fell in love with.

I'll always remember mine. I fcked it up so badly. We were going out but I was a 16 yr old kid who had a tendency to stray with drink on board.

I wish I had her now. I think of her sometimes when having relations with my partner.

leggo

The one that got away? Ah yes, I remember well. She was seriously fast. I later heard she won a medal for the 100m.

Outlaw Pete

Yeah, the summer after the leaving met this girl. We used to just drive around and listen to Radiohead all the time. On her 18th birthday we got the same tattoos. I remember we used to steal her parents alcohol and climb up on her roof and talk about the future and stuff. Never thought one day I'd have lost her. Someone told me she had the tattoo removed. Can't help think that in another life she'd still be mine.

Tammy!

ardinn wrote: »

Ye - still think about it all - have great memories, but i still get a twitch in my gut on what they did!

Sorry I was joking and originally only half read your post. Of course you do!

ardinn

Tammy! wrote: »

So you have mixed feelings about it all

Ye - still think about it all - have great memories, but i still get a twitch in my gut on what they did!

Tammy!

ardinn wrote: »

Yes

My first proper gf. Lets call her ms jackson.

Stunning, wild, beautiful inside and out and she was my girl for nearly three years. She was so far out of my league I was forever jealous and petrified a good looking rich guy would take her away - and due to this I probably smothered her, would get angry when she spoke to lads I felt as a threat and became paranoid to a huge degree.

In the end I broke up with her, and she tried and tried to to get us back together but I was a gobshíte of the highest degree.

I see the same thing happening now with a girl who works for me, I want to tell her he will pull through like I did, but its something you have to learn I think. I used to think what if, but, looking back, what we both learned from the experience probably bettered us both.

She ended up fúcking one of my best friends not long after, that broke me, I was destroyed for a while after, but again got over it. I hope she is doing great - I havnt spoken to that friend in about 10 years tho, I hope he has a terrible, painful death.

So you have mixed feelings about it all

ardinn

Yes

My first proper gf. Lets call her ms jackson.

Stunning, wild, beautiful inside and out and she was my girl for nearly three years. She was so far out of my league I was forever jealous and petrified a good looking rich guy would take her away - and due to this I probably smothered her, would get angry when she spoke to lads I felt as a threat and became paranoid to a huge degree.

In the end I broke up with her, and she tried and tried to to get us back together but I was a gobshíte of the highest degree.

I see the same thing happening now with a girl who works for me, I want to tell her he will pull through like I did, but its something you have to learn I think. I used to think what if, but, looking back, what we both learned from the experience probably bettered us both.

She ended up fúcking one of my best friends not long after, that broke me, I was destroyed for a while after, but again got over it. I hope she is doing great - I havnt spoken to that friend in about 10 years tho, I hope he has a terrible, painful death.

Tammy!

[Deleted User] wrote: »

One always sticks out for me. A truly great friend that could have been more. She was good friends with my cousin and told her she fancied me. She told me that she fancied me.

I was too busy chasing wans that had not the remotest of interest in me haha. Of all the wans I met in me teens, I regret not seeing if things would work with her. To this day I don't think I've gotten on with someone so well.

Awh that's nice ...I mean that you got on so well! Not related but Im like that with an old friend of mine and one of my old neighbours who has since passed away - two of the most funny people I've ever met!! The type that would make you laugh at any of occasion and into a fit of giggles

I think there's things like 'the one who got away' and then there's the reality of actually living, staying with someone etc. That's why it's so nice when you see first loves who stick together because they've kind of had the fantasy part and stuck through the boring parts...and find other ways or are just super compatible..

ardinn

0lddog wrote: »

You talking about the trout that got away ?

Was huge - must have been at least 6 lbs

Dont talk to me, never seen one like it!

[Deleted User]

One always sticks out for me. A truly great friend that could have been more. She was good friends with my cousin and told her she fancied me. She told me that she fancied me.

I was too busy chasing wans that had not the remotest of interest in me haha. Of all the wans I met in me teens, I regret not seeing if things would work with her. To this day I don't think I've gotten on with someone so well.

jaxxx

The one that got away? Yeah I remember it well. Was a dark cave. And then it happened... a shiny Mewtwo. Then the battery died :mad:

RhubarbCrumble

PsychoPete wrote: »

Yes but I did learn a valuable lesson from it, always make sure the padlock is on the basement door

Username checks out :eek:

Blueshoe

Iv seen her slowly get fat over the past few years and her "new" fella left her recently due to her mentalness.

Bullet dodged in hindsight

Deja Boo

thread needs a poll

:pac:

bizidea

Worked in london in my late teens on a building site beside a garden centre one day an old scottish guy who was a bit out there told me when I was walking up to the shop at lunchtime to look into the green house of the garden centre that there was an angel there for me I was thinking wtf is this mad old fkr on about so on the way I glanced in there was the most amazing looking girl id ever seen she glanced up and smiled right at me. That afternoon I was standing on the site and just as I looked out here she was again she smiled and I smiled back I seen her many times over the next two or three weeks it was so weird it was nearly like we could sense each others presence it was like even though we were busy or engrossed in our work we just looked up and smiled when the other passed by.one evening I was working right beside the footpath I looked up and there she was I smiled and she smiled I said hi she said hi she stopped and I stopped she waited but I was a silly shy teenager and said nothing she said nothing then she carried on walking the scottish guy was working nearby came over and said I told you she was an angel for you. But that was it I never seen her again I often wondered what would have happened if I wasn't that awkward teen and had just said anything to her I can still see her now absolutely beautiful dark haired girl its mad

Pretzill

corner of hells wrote: »

It wasn't her at all.

Tammy!

Dual wheels wrote: »

I’d say he went out to the jacks to knock one out

Maybe, I don't know

I was going to say something there but I won't say anymore

Dual wheels

Tammy! wrote: »

I use too but I don't feel he was anymore. It was a teenage thing for me and he was a bit older. Not old enough that it was bad but old enough that it wouldnt really have been appropriate and he technically never crossed the line. We barely ever talked. The tension between us was really strong though and so awkward.

I remember sitting down watching TV and he was sitting beside me and he had his arms folded but started stroking my side. The sexual tension at that stage was so built up that it was the most bizarre feeling but nice like our breathing was in sync..it was strange.

Anyway I returned the favour to him one night when we happened to end up sat very close to one another and leaned my elbow in towards his side and he choked!! He turned around to say something to his sister who was sat next to me and was like 'eh eh eh'...some jibberish I went out to the toilet and he had moved seats

My family moved away a while after that. Theres a bit more to it but met him out once a good while later. He said something mean to me, then apologized...

I don't feel anything now but at the time it would have been nice

I’d say he went out to the jacks to knock one out

anewme

He was 37, I was 17 (he was 36, I was 19) but all else applies

Tammy!

I use too but I don't feel he was anymore. It was a teenage thing for me and he was a bit older. Not old enough that it was bad but old enough that it wouldnt really have been appropriate and he technically never crossed the line. We barely ever talked. The tension between us was really strong though and so awkward.

I remember sitting down watching TV and he was sitting beside me and he had his arms folded but started stroking my side. The sexual tension at that stage was so built up that it was the most bizarre feeling but nice like our breathing was in sync..it was strange.

Anyway I returned the favour to him one night when we happened to end up sat very close to one another and leaned my elbow in towards his side and he choked!! He turned around to say something to his sister who was sat next to me and was like 'eh eh eh'...some jibberish

I went out to the toilet and he had moved seats

My family moved away a while after that. Theres a bit more to it but met him out once a good while later. He said something mean to me, then apologized...

I don't feel anything now but at the time it would have been nice

Dual wheels

pinkyeye wrote: »

Yeah, I had a fella years ago and he brought me to some beautiful places in the world and was the greatest in bed I'd had before that and ever since and I finished it because I couldn't see us living together.

My loss.:o

Bad flatulance had he?

Snotty

Mine ones that got away are all girls I should have had sex with but didn't because I was too nervous.

The one that i made sure never got away is laying beside me here snoring her little heart out.

bo0li5eumx12kp

bitofabind wrote: »

Do you have one? Is there someone you think about wistfully on a rainy sunday afternoon? Do you ponder their whereabouts or stalk their facebook or think about that trip you took together where it seemed like everything in the world made sense for a magical moment, before reality kicked in and pulled you apart?

i'm not sure if i have just one. i have moments that were so full of meaning and connection with guys that would transition out of my life days or weeks later. guys that i probably didn't have any real world potential with due to some very solid real-life circumstances, but that still left a part of me wondering. i'll always wonder about John from San Diego and the way he used to look at me. or that time Taylor kissed me out of nowhere outside of that bar in New York.

what i've learned in love and relationships is that it's not about those magical moments that make your head spin, it's about the gritty, boring, annoying, complicated ones in between and who is willing to stick around and stand beside you through them.

it seems to me though, as if so many people have that one person that they think about and wonder "what if...", no matter how good or how bad their lives are. Do you have one?

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

To be honest - I don't think that's ever happened to me.

It's more frequent I think about and them this surging relief - "dodged a damn bullet there" - floods over me, then I smile wistfully - so I guess we got the "wistful" in common, though perhaps mine is more, "wince wistfully".

When I was a pimple faced kid and hooked up with this blonde, several levels above me on a school tour - I was heartbroken when he basically blanked me after, but all this sh1t is relative.

Now I'm a stacked alpha stud with two college degrees, and sometimes when I look in the mirror - it hurts - hurts so good.

All that being said - I'm reasonably confident some chicks feel that way about me - but not the me from back then.

Only if they've seen me more recently and bore witness to the sex machine I have become.

corner of hells

The "one" that got away.

We actually lived beside each other as kids ,her with her mop of curls and me showing absolutely no interest whatsoever in her , didn't even like her.

We met again when both of us were in our early twenties .
She had now grown into someone beautiful in my eyes. She still her curls but now smiled at me when spoke to me , held hands with me when we were out and was what seemed my soul mate

And then it happened , she left Ireland to study abroad , we promised we'd stay in touch and planned visits .

It never really was going to work and eventually fizzled out.

Years later , with a failed marriage behind me , I heard through an acquaintance that she was back in Ireland after her own marriage has ended .

One Christmas as I was shopping in Liffey Valley this small figure walked past me , same curls , walk and shape .
I couldn't believe my eyes , I quickly caught up with her , reached out , touched her shoulder and called her name .

It wasn't her at all.

bitofabind

@A Tyrant Named Miltiades!, it sounds like you were going through some dark stuff at the time. And it just wasn't the right time to be with this lady. So much of this is timing.

i think we can tend to romanticise the "connections" too, as they can seem so rare, but retrospectively i don't think that's usually the core ingredient that binds two people together in the longterm. it's more about the willingness to commit to each other and compatibility on teh more boring stuff. feeling a connection is the lovely chemicals, but without the other boring stuff its largely just a fleeting thing and no indicator of a real lasting love potential.

cml387

Met someone who was a friend of my friends fiance in Galway 100 years ago (anyone remember McSwiggan's, yeah, around that time).
Had an identical sense of humour, really connected, but geography and carelessness on my part just let it fade away.

Years later my friend tells me he met her after a long time by chance and they fell to reminiscing.
When my name came up she sighed and said "Ah yes B****, the one that got away".

But it's just one of those things. Sliding doors.