How to Politely avoid telling someone your salary

seamus · 08-05-2015 9:50am

Boom_Bap wrote: »

It's a bit of a shock to them, but it does start another conversation about why I want to keep it private. But, they will always, and I mean ALWAYS ask you again at some point.

Yeah, there's definitely a cultural thing in Ireland about it, probably harking back to the days of British rule where if they don't know how much you earn, they can't tax it.
My wife is really bad for it, to the point where she starts spitting feathers if a form asks even for a salary range. Whether it's a mortgage application or a census form she'll ask, "Why should I tell them that!?"

Years back I worked on a corporate event being held in Drumoland Castle, with a lot of Americans. The general manager of the hotel was a nice guy and constantly in and out to us, so there was a lot of chatter. One of the US girls got talking to him about where he lived, etc and he casually mentioned that as GM he was basically required to live in the nice little house near the front entrance to the hotel.
Immediately she was all about the questions - what's your overall package, do you have to pay rent on it, do you have to pay tax, etc. He looked at me with wide eyes, I smirked, and he told her that they were very personal questions to ask someone in Ireland. She was a bit shocked of course that someone would be that protective of their circumstances.

Not that she voluntarily told us how much she was earning

Aongus Von Bismarck · 08-05-2015 9:52am

Boom_Bap wrote: »

This is something I have to deal with lots. I spend a bit of time in Germany and would have a lot of visitors from Germany.
They are absolutely obsessed with wanting to know how much everything is, how much I get monthly, what are my outgoings, how much did I pay for my house etc. It is always brought up in conversation.
I just politely tell them that I don't like talking about my finances and would rather keep it private.
It's a bit of a shock to them, but it does start another conversation about why I want to keep it private. But, they will always, and I mean ALWAYS ask you again at some point.

It gets very annoying doesn't it? My German colleagues are very open about what they make and about the amount they receive in bonuses and stock options. They have no hesitation in asking you what you made last year. I realise it's a cultural thing, but I don't like it.

My usual answer is that I buy a new 5-Series every year, live in a luxury apartment with built-in sauna and wet room, and go skiing in Austria every other weekend during the winter. I'm doing okay for myself.

Drakares · 08-05-2015 9:57am

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

My usual answer is that I buy a new 5-Series every year, live in a luxury apartment with built-in sauna and wet room, and go skiing in Austria every other weekend during the winter. I'm doing okay for myself.

What is that smell?

Boom_Bap · 08-05-2015 9:59am

Drakares wrote: »

What is that smell?

That's the smell of success.

Boom_Bap · 08-05-2015 10:05am

seamus wrote: »

Yeah, there's definitely a cultural thing in Ireland about it, probably harking back to the days of British rule where if they don't know how much you earn, they can't tax it.
My wife is really bad for it, to the point where she starts spitting feathers if a form asks even for a salary range. Whether it's a mortgage application or a census form she'll ask, "Why should I tell them that!?"

Years back I worked on a corporate event being held in Drumoland Castle, with a lot of Americans. The general manager of the hotel was a nice guy and constantly in and out to us, so there was a lot of chatter. One of the US girls got talking to him about where he lived, etc and he casually mentioned that as GM he was basically required to live in the nice little house near the front entrance to the hotel.
Immediately she was all about the questions - what's your overall package, do you have to pay rent on it, do you have to pay tax, etc. He looked at me with wide eyes, I smirked, and he told her that they were very personal questions to ask someone in Ireland. She was a bit shocked of course that someone would be that protective of their circumstances.

Not that she voluntarily told us how much she was earning

I sat in on an E-Comm Lecture in Michigan State once upon a time. Throughout the whole lecture, a profession could not be named without mentioning the expected salary to a Masters, and a Masters with 2 years experience. They mentioned a lot of professions that day. I questioned a girl afterwards, she said that it was quite normal for any given class, and laid out her 10 year salary plan for me there and then.
The 2 year thing is always mentioned because most of the students would have built up that 2 years on the side throughout their 5 years in college.

So there it felt like students were drilled on talking about salary.

FURET · 08-05-2015 10:06am

Boom_Bap wrote: »

That's the smell of success.

Mind you I've always thought that the equating of success with owning a new premium brand car is one of the greatest marketing ploys ever devised, right up there with "diamonds are forever". Not saying you're a sucker, Aongus - fair dues to your success - but it's not how I deploy my capital every year.

Micky Dolenz · 08-05-2015 10:11am

"None of yo beesniz" is a good phrase.

sbsquarepants · 08-05-2015 10:20am

Chucken wrote: »

When do I tell my husband about the girlfriend?

Straight away - he'll most likely love it!:D

sbsquarepants · 08-05-2015 10:25am

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

It gets very annoying doesn't it? My German colleagues are very open about what they make and about the amount they receive in bonuses and stock options. They have no hesitation in asking you what you made last year. I realise it's a cultural thing, but I don't like it.

My usual answer is that I buy a new 5-Series every year, live in a luxury apartment with built-in sauna and wet room, and go skiing in Austria every other weekend during the winter. I'm doing okay for myself.

If you're the modest one of the group - all I can say is I'm glad I don't have to deal with them. No amount of money could pay me to listen to arseholes pat themselves on the back all day.

BBDBB · 08-05-2015 10:50am

Say "Let's just end this now, get your tackle out and well get a tape measure"

enda1 · 08-05-2015 12:48pm

*Waiting for Aongus to roll in to tell us his salary and 50% performance related bonus before anyone asks*

petes · 08-05-2015 12:54pm

enda1 wrote: »

*Waiting for Aongus to roll in to tell us his salary and 50% performance related bonus before anyone asks*

Didn't read the thread, did you?

I'd only tell close friends, other that that no ones business!

robbiezero · 08-05-2015 1:05pm

FURET wrote: »

When I was first hired by my present employer, another new employee and I were sent abroad for some training. One evening he told me his salary in a very casual way and asked if mine was the same. I didn't tell him my salary but did say I was on "a little more". In reality I was on triple his income.

My brother asked me recently while he was on vacation in the country where I live. I didn't tell him.

One person I do tell is a friend who I studied with who is in the same profession as me. She and I started with the same employer but have both moved on since then. We like to keep each other informed so that we know what the market pays us.

Why would you not tell him where you live?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 08-05-2015 1:41pm

I wouldn't mind if some people knew. My really close friends. But I think it might promote envy in other friends, or "haha, is that all" with others so I wouldn't tel them exactly, answer them with something vague "enough to keep me happy". Generally me and my mates don't talk about money.

Dan_Solo · 08-05-2015 1:44pm

We could add it by royal decree to the list of unaskable questions... a woman's age, what;s in a sausage etc.

enda1 · 08-05-2015 2:54pm

petes wrote: »

Didn't read the thread, did you?

I'd only tell close friends, other that that no ones business!

Huh?

edit:

I had read the thread but somehow missed that post! Strange

topper75 · 08-05-2015 3:22pm

Mellor wrote: »

If you think the dole is $17.5k you are in for a shock when you sign on.

10k, as it pleasantly happens, with ne'er a cent of income tax to trouble you.

That is just your TV-watching money mind!

If you go out and do nixers, you'll be hitting that beautiful sunny height of 17k before the Spring is out.

And no pesky revenuers gotta know about the nixers neither. That is between you and the nice ladies answering the ads in the paper.

I mean I actually know its fukkked up but hey - human rights, or something.;)

Dan_Solo · 08-05-2015 3:26pm

topper75 wrote: »

If you go out and do nixers, you'll be hitting that beautiful sunny height of 17k before the Spring is out.

And if I you have a 100k job and rob a bank in your spare time you don't pay tax on that either. What are they moaning about then, eh?

hmmm · 08-05-2015 3:28pm

"410 thousand euros" works for me.

Lollipops23 · 08-05-2015 3:30pm

Fuzzy wrote: »

Depending on your age, 35 grand is basically shíte. Just tell them you're on more or less shíte money.

Depends on your industry. 35k in an admin job, for example, is pretty decent.

Lollipops23 · 08-05-2015 3:34pm

Elessar wrote: »

There is a movement on Twitter at the moment called #talkpay. People are beating down the door of the taboo of disclosing your salary. It's helping people know that they are underpaid/nicely paid against their peers.

That's a great idea- I find people here (Canada) are far more forthcoming in talking about salary. Having said that, my first contract here had a clause stating that we weren't allowed to discuss pay with each other. Of course we ignored it and found there were huge discrepancies in what we were being paid.

twowheelsonly · 08-05-2015 4:01pm

Lollipops23 wrote: »

That's a great idea- I find people here (Canada) are far more forthcoming in talking about salary. Having said that, my first contract here had a clause stating that we weren't allowed to discuss pay with each other. Of course we ignored it and found there were huge discrepancies in what we were being paid.

That's why employers in Ireland love the fact that we don't/won't discuss salaries with each other.

Personally I don't see the problem and don't see why it's such a big deal and we avoid the topic whenever possible.
Maybe the OPs' friend is curious as to what the going rate is and thinking of changing themselves. You're in Factory A earning 35k, Friend is Factory B earning 50k - doing work that you could do. Would you not think about changing? As a friend would you not like to encourage your buddy to move up? Or let him know that he's better off where he is? Information is power. Maybe he thinks he's doing well and is really being sh*t on, maybe he thinks he's being sh*t on but is actually doing well. Faraway fields and all that.....

Personally I earned 71k last year - Public Service
( Less Tax,PRSI,USC,Mandatory Pension,Pension Levy )

Someone starting in my job tomorrow will be on 25/26 k for 3 years, jumping to about 40k after that.
Would I recommend it to someone??
No, not for the job that we do and, for 'non-dubs,' the fact that you could be based in Dubland for 10-15 yrs plus.
Prior to the Pension Levy/USC' cuts it was ok but that killed it totally.

Pyr0 · 08-05-2015 4:24pm

I've no problem at all telling people what I earn, what's the big deal like?

08-05-2015 4:32pm

Just tell him maybe?

We would all have a fair idea of each other's salary in my group of friends, don't see the big deal. Definitely no point hiding mine as the salary scales are available online.

Sleepy · 08-05-2015 5:02pm

I'm not too shy about it socially but wouldn't discuss it with some of the juniors in work who'd be on a lot less than me.

Bubbaclaus · 08-05-2015 5:14pm

I find it strange that people find money to be a taboo subject. Friends have asked me what I earn and I just tell them. They also tell me what they're on.

If we are ever organising something it is handy because we would be aware of the financial constraints of the other person.

Gordon · 08-05-2015 5:19pm

Tell them that it's barely enough to cover your outgoings. And you can justify any lie you may tell by classifying transferring money to your savings account as an 'outgoing'.

Katgurl · 08-05-2015 5:24pm

I would offer the info to the odd friend if there's a good reason (ie. they are asking advice on how much to charge and I know they won't mention it again) but mainly tell people to mind their own sha66ing business if they ask. I've no problem being rude about it, it's a rude question and I'll tell them that.

One gob****e woman in college overheard me negotiating a daily rate on some contract work (i'm retraining in college and around semesters take on contracting roles in my previous job) for the summer once, she spent the entire next semester referring to me as 'moneybags' accusingly or sarcastically advising everyone who mentioned money worries to ask me for a loan. During semester time I can't work at my old job so was working weekends in a shop, she kept dropping in and asking me why i needed to work there after all the money I got paid during the summer.

Honestly I think in the society we live in, everyone is free pursue a career in anything, its nobody else's place to comment on how much money you earn (or how you spend it).

WoollyRedHat · 08-05-2015 8:15pm

Chucken wrote: »

Does my phone have a snapchat? http://www.mobilephonehistory.co.uk/nokia/nokia3210.gif

I've stared at that for 2 minuets straight, it does nothing!

Manach · 08-05-2015 8:26pm

The salary information in other societies is a bit different. For instance US colleagues are blase about how much they on average earn and some other European country offices are similar.

How to Politely avoid telling someone your salary

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