How to Politely avoid telling someone your salary

Chucken · 08-05-2015 4:20am

gar32 wrote: »

glassdoor web site if you want to know what people are making. Then you don'T have to ask

Do me. Do me. How much am I making?

Mellor · 08-05-2015 4:24am

Chucken wrote: »

Do me. Do me. How much am I making?

You're making the dinner. Now back in the kitchen

mulbot · 08-05-2015 4:56am

HonestCry wrote: »

I wouldn't see a problem telling somebody especially a good friend mind you my salary.

Whats the big deal?

What's the big deal with them needing to know?

HonestCry · 08-05-2015 5:07am

mulbot wrote: »

What's the big deal with them needing to know?

Curiosity i guess, i don't know.

When the Sun Hits · 08-05-2015 5:13am

Say "Oh here it is" and gesture downward with your hand. Keep gesturing and they will move their head to where you are pointing. Boom. Penis in the face.

kneemos · 08-05-2015 5:39am

35 grand.Twice the dole.

No wonder you're embarrassed.

DoYouEvenLift · 08-05-2015 5:46am

Never understood the big deal in Ireland about talking about wages with friends. I wouldn't expect anyone to be completely open about it with strangers or even acquaintances but close friends should be people you're comfortable discussing everything with.

Mellor · 08-05-2015 5:48am

kneemos wrote: »

35 grand.Twice the dole.

No wonder you're embarrassed.

If you think the dole is $17.5k you are in for a shock when you sign on.

efb · 08-05-2015 5:54am

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Never understood the big deal in Ireland about talking about wages with friends. I wouldn't expect anyone to be completely open about it with strangers or even acquaintances but close friends should be people you're comfortable discussing everything with.

Really???

DoYouEvenLift · 08-05-2015 6:02am

efb wrote: »

Really???

Nah, I just typed all that out because I didn't mean a fuking word of it

FURET · 08-05-2015 6:26am

When I was first hired by my present employer, another new employee and I were sent abroad for some training. One evening he told me his salary in a very casual way and asked if mine was the same. I didn't tell him my salary but did say I was on "a little more". In reality I was on triple his income.

My brother asked me recently while he was on vacation in the country where I live. I didn't tell him.

One person I do tell is a friend who I studied with who is in the same profession as me. She and I started with the same employer but have both moved on since then. We like to keep each other informed so that we know what the market pays us.

fizzypish · 08-05-2015 8:23am

Kinda said to myself years ago that when the day comes that I'm pulling in a grand a week after tax that I'm doing well. Pretty far away from that at the moment.....

As for how to politely avoid telling someone what you make maybe, "A starting position can make X and you can realistically make up to Y if you stick at it". "And where are you on that scale?". "I'm doing ok". Anyone that pushes after that isn't taking the hint. You have done your civic duty to maintain a certain level of politeness and its now acceptable to tell them to **** themselves.

Emsloe · 08-05-2015 8:29am

Tell him to make a guess and then when he picks a figure say 'double it'. Should keep him quiet for a bit.

I have no problem telling people what I earn tbh, but I know I'm in the minority!

Gone Drinking · 08-05-2015 8:45am

kneemos wrote: »

35 grand.Twice the dole.

No wonder you're embarrassed.

Wow, you're a dick.

What I would usually do when I get the "Whats the money like?" question, is say something like "Ah its grand, more than the last place so I'm happy!"

Usually people will get the hint from that sort of answer that you're not going to tell them exactly how much you're on. However, I have told close friends if we've gotten into a conversation that warrants the number to be mentioned.

Elessar · 08-05-2015 8:56am

Just tell them. What's the big deal?

I'm on 31k. There you go. They're not asking can they shag your mother.

I can understand if it's some randomer, but if it's a work friend I don't see the problem. My workmates and I know all our salaries, we're kind of benchmarking. The discrepancies are huge. It helps me know what I should be earning, and what I will be worth, when I reach their experience.

There is a movement on Twitter at the moment called #talkpay. People are beating down the door of the taboo of disclosing your salary. It's helping people know that they are underpaid/nicely paid against their peers.

So what are you afraid of?

Saint_Mel · 08-05-2015 8:59am

I worked with a guy in my 1st job many moons ago and he was obsessed with wanting to know everyones pay and would whinge to everyone in the pub on work nights out as he felt he should be earning x amount more than so and so ...

In general, most people found him to be a twat

kaloshma · 08-05-2015 9:00am

It varies, depend on how much the company makes in a month. Nothing specific.

FURET · 08-05-2015 9:06am

Elessar wrote: »

So what are you afraid of?

Well, when you have an income that is *much* larger than almost all of those of your family and friends, it's best not to broadcast it.

Emsloe · 08-05-2015 9:10am

FURET wrote: »

Well, when you have an income that is *much* larger than almost all of those of your family and friends, it's best not to broadcast it.

I get this all the time, not because I am on huge money but because they happen to earn less. I'm interviewing for new jobs at the moment but won't tell them where as the first thing they'll go is google for the job ad to see what the salary is! I don't mind telling friends what I earn at all but family, no way.

magicmushroom · 08-05-2015 9:10am

Fuzzy wrote: »

Depending on your age, 35 grand is basically shíte. Just tell them you're on more or less shíte money.

I would never consider 35k a year to be sh!ite money for anyone of any age

Rubberchikken · 08-05-2015 9:13am

if it was a great friend/family i'd say it outright. couldn't care less. anyone else, i'd just ignore it and move on to the next topic.
having said that, my friends/family are a great lot and wouldn't ask, just as i wouldn't do it to someone else.

so to recap, ignore.

fizzypish · 08-05-2015 9:15am

magicmushroom wrote: »

I would never consider 35k a year to be sh!ite money for anyone of any age

A here. If you have any decent size expenses like a Family, mortgage or illness that need paying for, your 35K a year will end up looking like 20 euro a week expendable income. For a young pup such as myself twould be grand but I'm under no illusions.

magicmushroom · 08-05-2015 9:26am

fizzypish wrote: »

A here. If you have any decent size expenses like a Family, mortgage or illness that need paying for, your 35K a year will end up looking like 20 euro a week expendable income. For a young pup such as myself twould be grand but I'm under no illusions.

I don't by any means think it's great money but there are certainly worse salaries and I wouldn't consider it shi!te.
Hopefully I'll be earning a lot more when I do have kids etc but if I would manage on it too

TallGlass · 08-05-2015 9:30am

Why wouldn't you say? Who gives a ****. I'm on 24k its ****e pay and I will tell people couldn't careless.

seamus · 08-05-2015 9:35am

"What's the money like?"

"Ah grand".

I'll tell family what I'm earning and maybe a very close friend, but the latter have the class to not ask.

Boom_Bap · 08-05-2015 9:38am

This is something I have to deal with lots. I spend a bit of time in Germany and would have a lot of visitors from Germany.
They are absolutely obsessed with wanting to know how much everything is, how much I get monthly, what are my outgoings, how much did I pay for my house etc. It is always brought up in conversation.
I just politely tell them that I don't like talking about my finances and would rather keep it private.
It's a bit of a shock to them, but it does start another conversation about why I want to keep it private. But, they will always, and I mean ALWAYS ask you again at some point.

LeBash · 08-05-2015 9:40am

Its not a polite question so do not offer a polite answer. You reply "its none of your business". Then beat them to death with their own shoes.

FURET · 08-05-2015 9:41am

TallGlass wrote: »

Why wouldn't you say? Who gives a ****. I'm on 24k its ****e pay and I will tell people couldn't careless.

Perhaps that's because you earn 24k.

One eyed Jack · 08-05-2015 9:42am

TallGlass wrote: »

Why wouldn't you say? Who gives a ****. I'm on 24k its ****e pay and I will tell people couldn't careless.

The person who's asking obviously gives a shìt, otherwise they wouldn't surely be asking?

It's not something that generally has ever come up in conversation really, probably because most people aren't all that interested in other people's personal finances. I think the people who want people to know about their personal finances are worse, the "Oh my mortgage is this and my house is worth this and I'm earning this...", and I'm tuning out already... :rolleyes:

Cushie Butterfield · 08-05-2015 9:43am

Usually the best way to avoid answering a question is to pretend that you didn't hear it or that you misheard it, so you could have a stock answer prepared in advance & if pushed change the subject to how you're worried about your hearing.

Or you could use any or all of the following:

'FFS you're the third person to ask me that question this week & I'll give you the same answer that I gave the others: if you're looking for a loan I'm a bit stretched myself this month but if you're stuck I could lend you €50'

'with the amount of bills I have it feels like I'm working for nothing - do you think the weather will ever improve, or should we just cancel summer'.

'if I told you that I'd have to kill you'.

'why do you need to know this personal information'

'curiosity killed the cat'

'some things are best kept secret'

'No offence but I don't feel comfortable talking about salary to friends'

How to Politely avoid telling someone your salary

Comments