I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

New to Ireland · 21-01-2020 7:09pm #1

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

See Mod note @ Post #159

Duke of Url · 21-01-2020 7:12pm

If you don’t like it then why stay here?

harr · 21-01-2020 7:14pm

I presume you know where the airport is ?

Pauliedragon · 21-01-2020 7:14pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

The people at the exit gates at the airports are very friendly.

Gwen Cooper · 21-01-2020 7:14pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

I came to this country nearly 10 years ago “for two years tops”. Fell in love with the people here. My guess is you got unlucky or come from some extremely nice community. You get assholes everywhere, don’t focus on them.

.red. · 21-01-2020 7:16pm

One of my pet peeves is snooty people who call themselves "middle class"
Maybe it's not the Irish, maybe it's you?

abff · 21-01-2020 7:17pm

Duke of Url wrote: »

If you don’t like it then why stay here?

I think that was a genuine question, in which case your response was somewhat uncalled for. I'd like to know how long OP has been in Ireland and where he is living, because I would hate to think that what he has experienced is typical of how people behave.

Fritzbox · 21-01-2020 7:19pm

.red. wrote: »

One of my pet peeves is snooty people who call themselves "middle class"
Maybe it's not the Irish, maybe it's you?

A lot of people don't hesitate to call themselves 'working class' - what do you say about them?

21-01-2020 7:19pm

Well your first few replies have proved you right!

Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves.
If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much.
Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.

New to Ireland · 21-01-2020 7:19pm

Above is more of the same, anyone with any actual ideas welcome instead of the same drool. Gwen thank you for your words interesting you found it nice, I am curious how anyone can have a nice experience here I really am, genuinely. Going to any shop and asking for anything here is the rudest I have experienced anywhere in the world.

Blaze420 · 21-01-2020 7:21pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Above is more of the same, anyone with any actual ideas welcome instead of the same drool. Gwen thank you for your words interesting you found it nice, I am curious how anyone can have a nice experience here I really am, genuinely. Going to any shop and asking for anything here is the rudest I have experienced anywhere in the world.

Maybe the problem is you and not them?

Duke of Url · 21-01-2020 7:21pm

abff wrote: »

I think that was a genuine question, in which case your response was somewhat uncalled for. I'd like to know how long OP has been in Ireland and where he's living, because I would hate to think that what he's eXperienced is typical of how people behave towards the English here (which I infer he is from his post).

It was a genuine answer. If you don’t like where you are why stay?

Do you think everyone should conform to the happy go lucky Irish stereotype?

21-01-2020 7:22pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

Rude?
Fùck off.

Car99 · 21-01-2020 7:23pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

You need to get out of Dublin , try Cork.

The Orb · 21-01-2020 7:23pm

OP, where are you from, why did you leave ?

mr_fegelien · 21-01-2020 7:24pm

To be honest, given the ****storm that is occuring in this country with incompetent government leaders, ever growing homeless crisis, increasing cost of living along with our ever crappy weather, it's not hard to see why Irish people aren't happy (I'm not Irish btw)

happyoutscan · 21-01-2020 7:25pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Above is more of the same, anyone with any actual ideas welcome instead of the same drool. Gwen thank you for your words interesting you found it nice, I am curious how anyone can have a nice experience here I really am, genuinely. Going to any shop and asking for anything here is the rudest I have experienced anywhere in the world.

Where are you based here? Where have you been throughout the country? How long have you been here? Are you here for work/pleasure/studies etc? Where are you from yourself?

A bit more info and we might be able to assist. Without, I'm not so sure.

olestoepoke · 21-01-2020 7:27pm

Irish? What Irish? We are Europeans now. All the Irish were sold down the river for a few bob. I think what you have witnessed is the effects of the cultural genocide at the hands of our European overlords.

Duke of Url · 21-01-2020 7:28pm

bubblypop wrote: »

Well your first few replies have proved you right!

Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves.
If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much.
Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.

Are you Irish?

Dyr · 21-01-2020 7:29pm

'tis part of our culture, sure

mojesius · 21-01-2020 7:30pm

Irish people don't say hello?!

You should take a drive down country outside of Dublin. Every driver will wave hello and staff in shops/pubs etc. will ask you how your day is and probably get a bit nosy wanting to know your sceal.

Even in Dublin, I find most shop staff are friendly and helpful compared with experiences I've had with many EU countries, USA etc.

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 21-01-2020 7:30pm

Were you expecting overly friendly permanently semi drunk happy folk with ginger hair doing the Riverdance with their pet leprechauns?

Sorry to dissapoint you........

Anyway, I'd like to think that I'm a friendly approachable person who is mannerly and likes a chat with people. I'd always go out of my way to help, be that to a friend or a stranger and my circle of friends would be similar.

You'll always meet a mix of personalities no matter where you live so maybe you need to change things up a bit and see if you can expand your network.

Personally I'm a home bird and love Ireland, sure it's not perfect but life is good and as a location to live it's better than a lot of places.

Blaze420 · 21-01-2020 7:30pm

Bambi wrote: »

'tis part of our culture, sure

No it’s not, I could say the same about Mallorca nationals after my holiday last year - bitter, scowling and completely unhelpful. But I won’t because a few bad shopkeepers doesn’t make a whole country of them?

Gwen Cooper · 21-01-2020 7:31pm

Also, as someone also pointed out above - Dublin is whole other level. I started out in a small town and didn’t set a foot to Dublin for the first year or so, apart from the airport of course.

Even after all this time I don’t feel comfortable up there, I settled down in Cork. Heard that Galway is very friendly too, if you’re looking for suggestions

21-01-2020 7:36pm

Duke of Url wrote: »

Are you Irish?

Yep I am

Duke of Url · 21-01-2020 7:40pm

bubblypop wrote: »

Yep I am

So you’re racist and full of yourself or are you an exception to your description of the rest of us Irish?

bubblypop wrote: »

Well your first few replies have proved you right!

Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves.
If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much.
Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.

poisonated · 21-01-2020 7:43pm

You might be better off going to Canada. They’re very friendly. Enjoy!

lawrencesummers · 21-01-2020 7:43pm

Is it safe to presume that you are in dublin?

Take some time to explore the west coast, where people are not in the rat race chasing their credit card to keep up with the jonses.

21-01-2020 7:45pm

Duke of Url wrote: »

So you’re racist and full of yourself or are you an exception to your description of the rest of us Irish?

It is a generalisation of Irish people that I have observed.
Obviously doesn't apply to all, like any generalisation

Alun · 21-01-2020 7:47pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Going to any shop and asking for anything here is the rudest I have experienced anywhere in the world.

You've clearly never been to Germany, then.

Seriously, why do you think mentioning that you're white, middle-class and middle-aged is relevant here? Maybe the fact that you think that is part of the problem.

By the way, I speak as a white, middle-class, considerably more than middle-aged foreigner myself, who's lived here for nearly 20 years, and is planning on staying.

NickNickleby · 21-01-2020 7:51pm

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Is it safe to presume that you are in dublin?

Take some time to explore the west coast, where people are not in the rat race chasing their credit card to keep up with the jonses.

eh, no its not. I've met many visitors who say Irish people are very friendly and they were staying in Dublin. Come on over and visit us for yourself.

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 21-01-2020 8:03pm

If planning on moving to another country would you not at least visit first to make sure you liked it?

I know that's what I would do if I was emigrating.

Snow Garden · 21-01-2020 8:09pm

Get out of Dublin asap!

lawrencesummers · 21-01-2020 8:11pm

NickNickleby wrote: »

eh, no its not. I've met many visitors who say Irish people are very friendly and they were staying in Dublin. Come on over and visit us for yourself.

Ha, I’ve been to Dublin plenty, lived and worked there!!!

nthclare · 21-01-2020 8:16pm

Im a Clare man, never found Dublin people unfriendly or hostile.

Its all about approach, posture and confidence.

I suppose being laid back, non judgemental, open-mindedness, and being a happy go lucky guy is a good way to get along with people.

Have you ever seen someone grinning to themselves walking down the street and thought they were mad, the thing is they are so content and comfortable in their own skin they couldn't give a toss what people think.

DublinWriter · 21-01-2020 8:22pm

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Born and bred in Dublin. These days, I don't recognise the place anymore. It reminds me of the worst of London in the yuppie mid-80's.

These days, I'm over and back to London quite a bit. It's a far friendlier city than Dublin is, especially in Camden and Bermondsey. London has evolved, and I think maybe Dublin will, too.

For those who say "well just get out of Dublin", I did in 2004 and I'm happy to have done so. Drogheda and Cork to me are more like Dublin I remember from the 80's. Ideally, I'd live in Belfast or Newcastle at the moment, but I'm still attached to Dublin for business reasons.

The one thing most Irish people hate are 'foreigners' telling them a few home-truths. Get over it, we're big boys and girls now.

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 21-01-2020 8:25pm

I think people's own demeanour and attitude dictates a lot of how people respond to them, that's what I've found in my own experience.

New to Ireland · 21-01-2020 8:33pm

bubblypop wrote: »

Well your first few replies have proved you right!

Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves.
If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much.
Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.

Very accurate I think, thanks

swarlb · 21-01-2020 8:36pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

I could be completely wrong here... but this reads as though it was written by an Irish person, trying to get a response from Irish people....
as in 'taking the piss'.....

jaxxx · 21-01-2020 8:36pm

Too many self-sh1t sniffers detected. My limit is 0.

Also: 'new to Ireland', and the first thing they do is join an internet forum. LOL

I don't think so.

New to Ireland · 21-01-2020 8:41pm

abff wrote: »

I think that was a genuine question, in which case your response was somewhat uncalled for. I'd like to know how long OP has been in Ireland and where he/she is living, because I would hate to think that what he/she has experienced is typical of how people behave.

I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

New to Ireland · 21-01-2020 8:42pm

DublinWriter wrote: »

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Born and bred in Dublin. These days, I don't recognise the place anymore. It reminds me of the worst of London in the yuppie mid-80's.

These days, I'm over and back to London quite a bit. It's a far friendlier city than Dublin is, especially in Camden and Bermondsey. London has evolved, and I think maybe Dublin will, too.

For those who say "well just get out of Dublin", I did in 2004 and I'm happy to have done so. Drogheda and Cork to me are more like Dublin I remember from the 80's. Ideally, I'd live in Belfast or Newcastle at the moment, but I'm still attached to Dublin for business reasons.

The one thing most Irish people hate are 'foreigners' telling them a few home-truths. Get over it, we're big boys and girls now.

Thanks so much! I really like reading this.

The Orb · 21-01-2020 8:55pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

Are you going to tell us where you're from ?

21-01-2020 8:59pm

The Orb wrote: »

Are you going to tell us where you're from ?

What difference does it make?

Sir Oxman · 21-01-2020 9:05pm

:rolleyes:

d15ude · 21-01-2020 9:09pm

Alun wrote: »

You've clearly never been to Germany, then.

What's that supposed to mean?
Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.

New to Ireland · 21-01-2020 9:13pm

I've been other places and of course people are rude everywhere, but it was a genuine question to Irish people, why do you think you might be rude? Don't you find other Irish people rude? Surely you do so I am curious why you think, Irish people are like this, socially and culturally. Btw, sorry to whomever writes "I find Irish people so friendly and they say hello and wave and do nice things" completely and utterly wrong this has never ever happened, not in 3 visits here and living here 6 months. Ever. Hence me writing here asking these questions.

iamwhoiam · 21-01-2020 9:14pm

d15ude wrote: »

What's that supposed to mean?
Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.

I lived in Berlin for years and Berliners are like everyone else . Some eejits , some scum , some fools but mostly lovely warm and helpful people .

The Orb · 21-01-2020 9:14pm

bubblypop wrote: »

What difference does it make?

I'm wondering what part of Utopia he left to come here. It's a reasonable request considering the trashing he has given our seeming hell-on-earth. Perhaps he can tell us how his own dreamland is so idyllic.

ongarboy · 21-01-2020 9:14pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

OP, if your wife is Irish, have you not asked her why we are all so allegedly rude? Is she able to explain, or better, challenge your perceptions and experiences? Is she not annoyed or offended by your awful generalisation of an entire nation? Yes, people are possibly more self absorbed these days what with smartphones and social media addiction but what you say simply is not true both from an Irish person's experience and from what any of the many non nationals I work or know also say. Ireland is not perfect by a long shot but is generally friendly once people get to know you. We can't do artificially super friendly, confide our deepest secrets within 5 minutes of knowing you type engagement like Americans or some other races do but will be friendly in a slower more organic pace.

I sense some of what you are experiencing is possibly self inflicted? If you are expecting a 16 year old Spar sales assistant to be full of the joys of spring at 6am while she hands you your change or receipt, you are being unreasonable. If "everyone" is so rude, then I would think the common denominator (ie you) somehow is a contributory factor to what's going on here. I don't know, just speculating.

You mention potentially going into a depression over it. That is an extremely disproportionate reaction to such a situation. Outside of friends, relatives and possibly work colleagues you engage closely with, does it really matter if acquaintances or strangers aren't all super friendly or lovey dovey? Again that sends a red flag to what you or like or how you react which may cause people to engage accordingly.

Ask your wife to be absolutely upfront about how you are with people and also to explain Irish people better!

_Brian · 21-01-2020 9:17pm

New to Ireland wrote: »

Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

Maybe it’s not “everyone else” that’s the problem ?

I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

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