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I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,542 Lee Repulsive Necktie


    If planning on moving to another country would you not at least visit first to make sure you liked it?

    I know that's what I would do if I was emigrating.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,126 Snow Garden


    Get out of Dublin asap!


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,390 ✭✭✭ lawrencesummers


    eh, no its not. I've met many visitors who say Irish people are very friendly and they were staying in Dublin. Come on over and visit us for yourself.

    Ha, I’ve been to Dublin plenty, lived and worked there!!!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭ nthclare


    Im a Clare man, never found Dublin people unfriendly or hostile.

    Its all about approach, posture and confidence.

    I suppose being laid back, non judgemental, open-mindedness, and being a happy go lucky guy is a good way to get along with people.

    Have you ever seen someone grinning to themselves walking down the street and thought they were mad, the thing is they are so content and comfortable in their own skin they couldn't give a toss what people think.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,516 ✭✭✭ DublinWriter


    Sometimes the truth hurts.

    Born and bred in Dublin. These days, I don't recognise the place anymore. It reminds me of the worst of London in the yuppie mid-80's.

    These days, I'm over and back to London quite a bit. It's a far friendlier city than Dublin is, especially in Camden and Bermondsey. London has evolved, and I think maybe Dublin will, too.

    For those who say "well just get out of Dublin", I did in 2004 and I'm happy to have done so. Drogheda and Cork to me are more like Dublin I remember from the 80's. Ideally, I'd live in Belfast or Newcastle at the moment, but I'm still attached to Dublin for business reasons.

    The one thing most Irish people hate are 'foreigners' telling them a few home-truths. Get over it, we're big boys and girls now.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,542 Lee Repulsive Necktie


    I think people's own demeanour and attitude dictates a lot of how people respond to them, that's what I've found in my own experience.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭✭✭ New to Ireland


    bubblypop wrote: »
    Well your first few replies have proved you right!

    Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves.
    If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much.
    Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.

    Very accurate I think, thanks


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭ swarlb


    Irish people please give your opinion.

    Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

    Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

    Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

    I could be completely wrong here... but this reads as though it was written by an Irish person, trying to get a response from Irish people....
    as in 'taking the piss'.....


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭ jaxxx


    Too many self-sh1t sniffers detected. My limit is 0.

    Also: 'new to Ireland', and the first thing they do is join an internet forum. LOL

    I don't think so.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭✭✭ New to Ireland


    abff wrote: »
    I think that was a genuine question, in which case your response was somewhat uncalled for. I'd like to know how long OP has been in Ireland and where he/she is living, because I would hate to think that what he/she has experienced is typical of how people behave.

    I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭✭✭ New to Ireland


    Sometimes the truth hurts.

    Born and bred in Dublin. These days, I don't recognise the place anymore. It reminds me of the worst of London in the yuppie mid-80's.

    These days, I'm over and back to London quite a bit. It's a far friendlier city than Dublin is, especially in Camden and Bermondsey. London has evolved, and I think maybe Dublin will, too.

    For those who say "well just get out of Dublin", I did in 2004 and I'm happy to have done so. Drogheda and Cork to me are more like Dublin I remember from the 80's. Ideally, I'd live in Belfast or Newcastle at the moment, but I'm still attached to Dublin for business reasons.

    The one thing most Irish people hate are 'foreigners' telling them a few home-truths. Get over it, we're big boys and girls now.

    Thanks so much! I really like reading this.


  • Registered Users Posts: 594 ✭✭✭ The Orb


    I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

    Are you going to tell us where you're from ?


  • Posts: 18,752 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The Orb wrote: »
    Are you going to tell us where you're from ?

    What difference does it make?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,492 ✭✭✭ Sir Oxman


    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 308 ✭✭ d15ude


    Alun wrote: »
    You've clearly never been to Germany, then.

    What's that supposed to mean?
    Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭✭✭ New to Ireland


    I've been other places and of course people are rude everywhere, but it was a genuine question to Irish people, why do you think you might be rude? Don't you find other Irish people rude? Surely you do so I am curious why you think, Irish people are like this, socially and culturally. Btw, sorry to whomever writes "I find Irish people so friendly and they say hello and wave and do nice things" completely and utterly wrong this has never ever happened, not in 3 visits here and living here 6 months. Ever. Hence me writing here asking these questions.


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,791 ✭✭✭✭ iamwhoiam


    d15ude wrote: »
    What's that supposed to mean?
    Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.

    I lived in Berlin for years and Berliners are like everyone else . Some eejits , some scum , some fools but mostly lovely warm and helpful people .


  • Registered Users Posts: 594 ✭✭✭ The Orb


    bubblypop wrote: »
    What difference does it make?

    I'm wondering what part of Utopia he left to come here. It's a reasonable request considering the trashing he has given our seeming hell-on-earth. Perhaps he can tell us how his own dreamland is so idyllic.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,201 ✭✭✭ ongarboy


    I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

    OP, if your wife is Irish, have you not asked her why we are all so allegedly rude? Is she able to explain, or better, challenge your perceptions and experiences? Is she not annoyed or offended by your awful generalisation of an entire nation? Yes, people are possibly more self absorbed these days what with smartphones and social media addiction but what you say simply is not true both from an Irish person's experience and from what any of the many non nationals I work or know also say. Ireland is not perfect by a long shot but is generally friendly once people get to know you. We can't do artificially super friendly, confide our deepest secrets within 5 minutes of knowing you type engagement like Americans or some other races do but will be friendly in a slower more organic pace.

    I sense some of what you are experiencing is possibly self inflicted? If you are expecting a 16 year old Spar sales assistant to be full of the joys of spring at 6am while she hands you your change or receipt, you are being unreasonable. If "everyone" is so rude, then I would think the common denominator (ie you) somehow is a contributory factor to what's going on here. I don't know, just speculating.

    You mention potentially going into a depression over it. That is an extremely disproportionate reaction to such a situation. Outside of friends, relatives and possibly work colleagues you engage closely with, does it really matter if acquaintances or strangers aren't all super friendly or lovey dovey? Again that sends a red flag to what you or like or how you react which may cause people to engage accordingly.

    Ask your wife to be absolutely upfront about how you are with people and also to explain Irish people better!


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ _Brian


    Irish people please give your opinion.

    Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

    Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

    Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

    Maybe it’s not “everyone else” that’s the problem ?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,956 ✭✭✭ Mongfinder General


    I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

    I wouldn't put an animal in the midlands.


  • Posts: 0 ✭✭✭✭ Fox Big Dove


    As an Irish Dublin person I always notice that compared to many places J visit, Irish people so very often seem to be in a hurry, and make headway without much regard to anybody in their path. It can be difficult walking through Dublin with people banging into you all the time. The city centre tends to have a high density of people at any given moment, and this crowdedness brings out the worst in us. Coming up to Christmas or any Bank Holiday weekend, things can get plain crazy.

    “Are you ok?” is a typical greeting by a shop assistant or reception staff. It sounds rude, offhand, as if you, the customer, are an inconvenience. I have to honest and admit I do often used that awful phrase in my line of work. Management seem to accept that, and indeed use it often themselves. It often annoys me to be treated like that, and I have pangs of guilt thinking at how offhand I was at times.


  • Registered Users Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭ Alun


    d15ude wrote: »
    What's that supposed to mean?
    Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.
    If you read what I was replying to I was referring to staff in shops, not the population on general. I lived in Germany for 7 years, and shop staff there were the rudest, most unhelpful and generally miserable bunch I've ever come across, especially the older ones.


  • Registered Users Posts: 736 ✭✭✭ Das Reich


    Irish people are the most polite and friendly people I ever met. I agree they are not funny like any other non mediterranean white people. I also don't like the fact they are so americanized, and support England football team and English teams, and hate they own language and culture. I would like to know where the OP is from it must be a paradise place.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭✭✭ New to Ireland


    ongarboy wrote: »
    OP, if your wife is Irish, have you not asked her why we are all so allegedly rude? Is she able to explain, or better, challenge your perceptions and experiences? Is she not annoyed or offended by your awful generalisation of an entire nation? Yes, people are possibly more self absorbed these days what with smartphones and social media addiction but what you say simply is not true both from an Irish person's experience and from what any of the many non nationals I work or know also say. Ireland is not perfect by a long shot but is generally friendly once people get to know you. We can't do artificially super friendly, confide our deepest secrets within 5 minutes of knowing you type engagement like Americans or some other races do but will be friendly in a slower more organic pace.

    I sense some of what you are experiencing is possibly self inflicted? If you are expecting a 16 year old Spar sales assistant to be full of the joys of spring at 6am while she hands you your change or receipt, you are being unreasonable. If "everyone" is so rude, then I would think the common denominator (ie you) somehow is a contributory factor to what's going on here. I don't know, just speculating.

    You mention potentially going into a depression over it. That is an extremely disproportionate reaction to such a situation. Outside of friends, relatives and possibly work colleagues you engage closely with, does it really matter if acquaintances or strangers aren't all super friendly or lovey dovey? Again that sends a red flag to what you or like or how you react which may cause people to engage accordingly.

    Ask your wife to be absolutely upfront about how you are with people and also to explain Irish people better!

    Thank you for your reply. Appreciate what you have written, of course i have asked my wife, over and over and spent time on this properly. If a place is depressive, and your experience is negative over and over and over again, you get depressed. You should know this but again this is defensive and not addressing my question.

    Why is your society so rude? Generally speaking? Have any answers on this?

    And I disagree, everyone I talk to does NOT have the delightful experience you are talking about again these people could have different opinions and you are not even aware of them.

    My experience is above, I have a positive personality and positive friends and people in my life and my life experiences all over the world, but Ireland has broken my spirit with it's continual negativity and close-mindedness which you are reinforcing here.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,714 ✭✭✭ ThewhiteJesus


    I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.

    That’s sad but unfortunately it’s our nature, pummelled into us after being oppressed for 800 years, huddling in groups and whispering our moans was/is still part of our way.My advice for you is either accept it and join in for your wife’s sake, or leave, each will take courage but it’s your choice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭ kravmaga


    Irish people please give your opinion.

    Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

    Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

    Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

    Visiting Ireland on a holiday and living in Ireland are two completely different things.

    I know some Americans that loved visiting Ireland every year, when they retired they sold up in USA and moved here, within 6 months they were back in the States.

    I lived in UK, London for many years and made the effort to settle in.

    You mention in your Opening post that you are losing your love of this country, so you did like it at one stage, was that when you were visiting during a holiday?

    Irish people in general compared to our European counterparts are friendly but you have to remember Irish people are very clannish, stick together, family is important. Irish people will have made friends since early childhood, school buddies and they keep that network throughout their life. They dont need to make new friends so are you expecting to be invited into your neighbours houses?

    What does your Irish wife have to say about your feelings on Ireland, did you talk to her about it before opening up on Boards to release your discontentment.?

    You cant make an entire generalisation that the whole country is rude as that's just not true.

    Im polite and do my bit to be courteous and helpful everyday, gave up my seat on the DART this evening for a pregnant lady when other passengers did not budge.

    I suspect you maybe American?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,201 ✭✭✭ ongarboy


    Thank you for your reply. Appreciate what you have written, of course i have asked my wife, over and over and spent time on this properly. If a place is depressive, and your experience is negative over and over and over again, you get depressed. You should know this but again this is defensive and not addressing my question.

    Why is your society so rude? Generally speaking? Have any answers on this?

    And I disagree, everyone I talk to does NOT have the delightful experience you are talking about again these people could have different opinions and you are not even aware of them.

    My experience is above, I have a positive personality and positive friends and people in my life and my life experiences all over the world, but Ireland has broken my spirit with it's continual negativity and close-mindedness which you are reinforcing here.

    Ok, can you provide 3 specific examples (no need to give identifiable details obviously) of rudeness you encountered so we can help assess whether they were extremely, moderately, marginally or not rude at all? Just saying the nation is so rude or so unfriendly us too subjective.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,241 ✭✭✭✭ M5


    Last week it was someone who found Irish people too familiar.

    Can't win!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭✭✭ New to Ireland


    kravmaga wrote: »
    Visiting Ireland on a holiday and living in Ireland are two completely different things.

    I know some Americans that loved visiting Ireland every year, when they retired they sold up in USA and moved here, within 6 months they were back in the States.

    I lived in UK, London for many years and made the effort to settle in.

    You mention in your Opening post that you are losing your love of this country, so you did like it at one stage, was that when you were visiting during a holiday?

    Irish people in general compared to our European counterparts are friendly but you have to remember Irish people are very clannish, stick together, family is important. Irish people will have made friends since early childhood, school buddies and they keep that network throughout their life. They dont need to make new friends so are you expecting to be invited into your neighbours houses?

    What does your Irish wife have to say about your feelings on Ireland, did you talk to her about it before opening up on Boards to release your discontentment.?

    You cant make an entire generalisation that the whole country is rude as that's just not true.

    Im polite and do my bit to be courteous and helpful everyday, gave up my seat on the DART this evening for a pregnant lady when other passengers did not budge.

    I suspect you maybe American?

    Thank you for your reply and what you have written. Thank you for being polite. It's is nice to hear. Agree with your points, my wife says similar but she is only starting to see things from a non-Irish perspective which is hard for her too - hard for an international couple both ways I guess. To live here, I am basically thinking that I need to stop having feelings for fellow humans, start being rude and drop manners, and use dark humor as a way of connecting with people in meaningless conversations at a pub with a bunch of alcoholics hating on the world - and Ireland while watching English soccer.


This discussion has been closed.
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