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I am new to this country and want to know why everyone is so rude.

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Comments



  • kravmaga wrote: »
    Visiting Ireland on a holiday and living in Ireland are two completely different things.

    I know some Americans that loved visiting Ireland every year, when they retired they sold up in USA and moved here, within 6 months they were back in the States.

    I lived in UK, London for many years and made the effort to settle in.

    You mention in your Opening post that you are losing your love of this country, so you did like it at one stage, was that when you were visiting during a holiday?

    Irish people in general compared to our European counterparts are friendly but you have to remember Irish people are very clannish, stick together, family is important. Irish people will have made friends since early childhood, school buddies and they keep that network throughout their life. They dont need to make new friends so are you expecting to be invited into your neighbours houses?

    What does your Irish wife have to say about your feelings on Ireland, did you talk to her about it before opening up on Boards to release your discontentment.?

    You cant make an entire generalisation that the whole country is rude as that's just not true.

    Im polite and do my bit to be courteous and helpful everyday, gave up my seat on the DART this evening for a pregnant lady when other passengers did not budge.

    I suspect you maybe American?

    Thank you for your reply and what you have written. Thank you for being polite. It's is nice to hear. Agree with your points, my wife says similar but she is only starting to see things from a non-Irish perspective which is hard for her too - hard for an international couple both ways I guess. To live here, I am basically thinking that I need to stop having feelings for fellow humans, start being rude and drop manners, and use dark humor as a way of connecting with people in meaningless conversations at a pub with a bunch of alcoholics hating on the world - and Ireland while watching English soccer.




  • ongarboy wrote: »
    OP, if your wife is Irish, have you not asked her why we are all so allegedly rude?

    He did, she told him to f**k off and stop asking stupid questions.




  • but it was a genuine question to Irish people, why do you think you might be rude? Don't you find other Irish people rude?

    I'm not rude nor do I find other people to be rude (apart from the occasional but sure you can't please everyone and if people want to be that way it's their loss).

    I think you're either mixing with the wrong people or putting out the wrong vibes. Plenty of nice folk in this place.




  • I'm not rude nor do I find other people to be rude (apart from the occasional but sure you can't please everyone).

    I think you're either mixing with the wrong people or putting out the wrong vibes. Plenty of nice folk in this place.

    I am not rude either and nor are any of my family or friends .




  • Wild speculation here but OP, it sounds like you reluctantly moved here because of your wife. Now, you are going out of your way to prove to her how bad a place it is with hopes that she moves there.

    You'll alienate her completely if you keep going the way you are going


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  • ongarboy wrote: »
    Ok, can you provide 3 specific examples (no need to give identifiable details obviously) of rudeness you encountered so we can help assess whether they were extremely, moderately, marginally or not rude at all? Just saying the nation is so rude or so unfriendly us too subjective.

    I could write a book of my experience. From an 'immigration' department that doesn't even answer the phone and write reply emails )as a government organisation) as one-liners, to Garda that don't report to the front desk as they are off doing whatever, to people in shops not acknowledging you at the counter and throwing your items across the counter without saying thank you, from people cutting you off and yelling at you in the street for no reason and abusing you, to taking 10 minutes to serve you a pint because you're not local. From people at the train stations saying "the ticket machine" angrily when you bring a faulty ticket ti their attention to seeing taxi drivers almost mash people on the roads and people almost getting into fights over the most dumbest ****. It is top level from government, right down through the social strata, shops, pubs, websites, public service sectors and industry. And the people in the street who do NOT say hello and can't wait to edge in front of you for no reason at all.




  • Catmaniac wrote: »

    “Are you ok?” is a typical greeting by a shop assistant or reception staff. It sounds rude, offhand, as if you, the customer, are an inconvenience. I have to honest and admit I do often used that awful phrase in my line of work. Management seem to accept that, and indeed use it often themselves. It often annoys me to be treated like that, and I have pangs of guilt thinking at how offhand I was at times.

    If saying "are you ok" in a neutral or even polite tone is considered rude, offhand or being treated like an inconvenience, then the snowflake generation is worse than I thought! Someone is going out of their way to be seek offence if that is considered rude.

    I suppose I'm also rude and unfriendly for challenging these posts!




  • dubrov wrote: »
    Wild speculation here but OP, it sounds like you reluctantly moved here because of your wife. Now, you are going out of your way to prove to her how bad a place it is with hopes that she moves there.

    You'll alienate her completely if you keep going the way you are going

    I can see how you'd say that but sadly no. I grew up )overseas) my whole life with an Irish heritage and couldn't wait to make the trip over here and was so excited. I read and studied and my first ever trip overseas was straight here. I was dissapointed then with rude, coldness. I tried again, came back over again excited thinking it was just me. Second time same but I made the most of it. Now living here, trying, day after day, exhausted from the rudeness, but my intention is to stay here and adjust. Not move. But this is hard.




  • I’m Irish and agree 100% with the op, obviously not everyone but a large % of our population are self serving narcissistic twits




  • It disappoints me to hear that you have that opinion.
    I don't think people here are truly that bad and I can only hope that you have just met some "bad eggs".
    Yes I think some aspects of social interaction and good manners are slowly being eroded but I think that's true for all nationalities.


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  • So Newtoireland, what country are you from ? You have been asked this previously but I haven't seen an answer. A genuine question by the way.




  • Thank you for your reply and what you have written. Thank you for being polite. It's is nice to hear. Agree with your points, my wife says similar but she is only starting to see things from a non-Irish perspective which is hard for her too - hard for an international couple both ways I guess. To live here, I am basically thinking that I need to stop having feelings for fellow humans, start being rude and drop manners, and use dark humor as a way of connecting with people in meaningless conversations at a pub with a bunch of alcoholics hating on the world - and Ireland while watching English soccer.

    Your welcome, well my partner is from Central Europe, we live in Dublin.

    She does find that in Dublin people do bump into her as they are rushing
    and dont apologise for it. She does not like in shops staff constantly ask her "Are you okay" instead of saying "How may I help you".

    I don't think the people in the pubs are all alcoholics , they may get a bit of dutch courage to give their personal opinions on current affairs, events, news media etc

    There is more to life than visiting pubs with English football on Sky TV.

    Why don't you get out hiking and travel around the country a bit.

    Get into following Leinster rugby or join your local Rugby club, forget about the local pub watching English soccer on TV.

    What is your nationality by the way?




  • flange888 wrote: »
    It disappoints me to hear that you have that opinion.
    I don't think people here are truly that bad and I can only hope that you have just met some "bad eggs".
    Yes I think some aspects of social interaction and good manners are slowly being eroded but I think that's true for all nationalities.

    Me too. Maybe it's a 12-month thing and I'll adjust...




  • My guess is you're in Dublin. Dublin is not Ireland, it's the exact opposite of Ireland.




  • I could write a book of my experience. From an 'immigration' department that doesn't even answer the phone and write reply emails )as a government organisation) as one-liners, to Garda that don't report to the front desk as they are off doing whatever, to people in shops not acknowledging you at the counter and throwing your items across the counter without saying thank you, from people cutting you off and yelling at you in the street for no reason and abusing you, to taking 10 minutes to serve you a pint because you're not local. From people at the train stations saying "the ticket machine" angrily when you bring a faulty ticket ti their attention to seeing taxi drivers almost mash people on the roads and people almost getting into fights over the most dumbest ****. It is top level from government, right down through the social strata, shops, pubs, websites, public service sectors and industry. And the people in the street who do NOT say hello and can't wait to edge in front of you for no reason at all.

    I don't think I've experienced many of those things and I've lived here all my life.

    I mean seeing taxi drivers 'almost mash people' or other people 'almost' getting into fights doesn't really impact you or involve people being rude to you, aren't you taking it all a bit personally?

    Maybe you have been unlucky and met some particularly awful people, but not everyone is like that.




  • bubblypop wrote:
    Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves. If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much. Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.

    bubblypop wrote:
    Well your first few replies have proved you right!


    Tbh, everything from the second sentence down could apply to most if not all countries.




  • I could write a book of my experience. From an 'immigration' department that doesn't even answer the phone and write reply emails )as a government organisation) as one-liners, to Garda that don't report to the front desk as they are off doing whatever, to people in shops not acknowledging you at the counter and throwing your items across the counter without saying thank you, from people cutting you off and yelling at you in the street for no reason and abusing you, to taking 10 minutes to serve you a pint because you're not local. From people at the train stations saying "the ticket machine" angrily when you bring a faulty ticket ti their attention to seeing taxi drivers almost mash people on the roads and people almost getting into fights over the most dumbest ****. It is top level from government, right down through the social strata, shops, pubs, websites, public service sectors and industry. And the people in the street who do NOT say hello and can't wait to edge in front of you for no reason at all.

    It sounds like you're taking everyday experiences that go with living in almost any major city extremely personally. As a friend of mine used to say, if the first person you meet in the morning is a d1ck, you met a d1ck; but if the first three people you meet are d1cks, you're the d1ck.

    Having to wait a few minutes for a pint really isn't a big deal, and it's only in your head that it's because you're not local (unless the barman told you so). it's hardly surprising that people working minimum wage jobs in shops aren't always in great form. Having said that, the lads that work in my local Spar (mixture of Irish and Indian) are all very friendly. Do you make the effort and give them a nice, big friendly hello?

    What have you done to try and make friends? Have you joined clubs? Volunteered? Are you working - what's your relationship with your colleagues like if so?




  • bubblypop wrote: »
    Well your first few replies have proved you right!

    Personally I think Irish people are just basically racist & full of themselves.
    If you're foreign on holidays here, you will be welcomed by strangers. If you're foreign living here, maybe not so much.
    Also, Irish people love reland & cannot hear a bad word about it, although they are allowed to complain themselves about it, but no outsiders should ever say anything bad about the country.



    Jeez do you think you were able to fit enough brown-nosing into that post?




  • If you meet an ašshole once during your day that's unfortunate.

    If you keep meeting aśsholes every day its normally you that is the aśshole.




  • Irish people please give your opinion.

    Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

    Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

    Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?

    It's all fine gaels fault OP. Don't vote them back in!


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  • Jeez do you think you were able to fit enough brown-nosing into that post?

    Lol
    Who am I brown nosing??




  • I can see how you'd say that but sadly no. I grew up )overseas) my whole life with an Irish heritage and couldn't wait to make the trip over here and was so excited. I read and studied and my first ever trip overseas was straight here. I was dissapointed then with rude, coldness. I tried again, came back over again excited thinking it was just me. Second time same but I made the most of it. Now living here, trying, day after day, exhausted from the rudeness, but my intention is to stay here and adjust. Not move. But this is hard.

    I sympathise with how difficult you are finding things, but you seem to have got into a mindframe where everything is viewed through a prism of negativity. You make sweeping statements about everyone being rude, but surely you must have met at least one or two people who were nice/kind/reasonable to deal with?

    My feeling (and I may be totally off the mark here) is that you need to start looking at things from a 'glass half full' perspective, otherwise you are in danger of disappearing into a downward spiral of negativity.




  • My guess is you're in Dublin. Dublin is not Ireland, it's the exact opposite of Ireland.

    The Op has said he lives in the Midlands but commutes to Dublin for work everyday.




  • KiKi III wrote: »
    It sounds like you're taking everyday experiences that go with living in almost any major city extremely personally. As a friend of mine used to say, if the first person you meet in the morning is a d1ck, you met a d1ck; but if the first three people you meet are d1cks, you're the d1ck.

    Having to wait a few minutes for a pint really isn't a big deal, and it's only in your head that it's because you're not local (unless the barman told you so). it's hardly surprising that people working minimum wage jobs in shops aren't always in great form. Having said that, the lads that work in my local Spar (mixture of Irish and Indian) are all very friendly. Do you make the effort and give them a nice, big friendly hello?

    What have you done to try and make friends? Have you joined clubs? Volunteered? Are you working - what's your relationship with your colleagues like if so?

    Thank you for your reply. Yes I agree, I am taking it too personally, I wish I had the skills to not do so. I'm not a dick, too nice is probably more like it, Irish people seem to detest manners.

    So far I've traveled Ireland, read books and watched as many documentaries as I can, I work with Irish people in Dublin, I've taken an Irish language course at nights for 3 months, joined Irish clubs, listen to Irish social commentary each day etc. I'm trying and not just whinging. I've 5 books next to me all Irish related to try better myself.




  • Thank you for your reply. Yes I agree, I am taking it too personally, I wish I had the skills to not do so. I'm not a dick, too nice is probably more like it, Irish people seem to detest manners.

    So far I've traveled Ireland, read books and watched as many documentaries as I can, I work with Irish people in Dublin, I've taken an Irish language course at nights for 3 months, joined Irish clubs, listen to Irish social commentary each day etc. I'm trying and not just whinging. I've 5 books next to me all Irish related to try better myself.

    Where are you from? At least give us a chance to denigrate your home.




  • Thank you for your reply. Yes I agree, I am taking it too personally, I wish I had the skills to not do so. I'm not a dick, too nice is probably more like it, Irish people seem to detest manners.

    So far I've traveled Ireland, read books and watched as many documentaries as I can, I work with Irish people in Dublin, I've taken an Irish language course at nights for 3 months, joined Irish clubs, listen to Irish social commentary each day etc. I'm trying and not just whinging. I've 5 books next to me all Irish related to try better myself.

    Irish people detest manners?
    How so?
    You sound like you've a massive chip on your shoulder to be honest.
    "when you're a hammer everything is a nail"




  • abff wrote: »
    I sympathise with how difficult you are finding things, but you seem to have got into a mindframe where everything is viewed through a prism of negativity. You make sweeping statements about everyone being rude, but surely you must have met at least one or two people who were nice/kind/reasonable to deal with?

    My feeling (and I may be totally off the mark here) is that you need to start looking at things from a 'glass half full' perspective, otherwise you are in danger of disappearing into a downward spiral of negativity.

    Agree but am finding it harder and harder hence me reaching out on a forum for Irish answers, you have helped don't worry. Thank you. It all helps, even the haters make my resolve stronger.




  • kravmaga wrote: »
    The Op has said he lives in the Midlands but commutes to Dublin for work everyday.

    You arent going to see the best of people when they are commuting... especially when theres too much traffic, not enough
    public transport... it gets a bit dog eat dog.
    I dont think it signifies Irish people are ruder than others, just bad planners.




  • Thank you for your reply. Yes I agree, I am taking it too personally, I wish I had the skills to not do so. I'm not a dick, too nice is probably more like it, Irish people seem to detest manners.

    So far I've traveled Ireland, read books and watched as many documentaries as I can, I work with Irish people in Dublin, I've taken an Irish language course at nights for 3 months, joined Irish clubs, listen to Irish social commentary each day etc. I'm trying and not just whinging. I've 5 books next to me all Irish related to try better myself.

    You don't have to try so hard to know about the Irish and Ireland.

    If you're in a position to take up a new hobby then go and do something that you really enjoy just for yourself, you'll be guaranteed to meet likeminded people with a common interest and hopefully things will improve from there and you might change your opinion.


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  • odyssey06 wrote: »
    You arent going to see the best of people when they are commuting... especially when theres too much traffic, not enough
    public transport... it gets a bit dog eat dog.
    I dont think it signifies Irish people are ruder than others, just bad planners.

    Fair point, this has definitely added to my negative mindset which I know it shouldn't. Lots of places (not just Ireland) have poor public transport - I know Dubliners find it rough also and 'give out'. See, I know some Irish.


This discussion has been closed.
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