Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

sara1 · 13-05-2015 9:40pm

This post has been deleted.

coolhull · 13-05-2015 10:00pm

sara1 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

^^

wthogahbm = with the help of god and his blessed mother

fussyonion · 13-05-2015 11:07pm

Sigh.

I've mentioned before that there's a really good-looking girl on my FB and she KNOWS she's good looking.

She's forever posing for selfies, awaiting "Likes" and complimentary comments so she can modestly reply "Thanks hun".

Today she posted a selfie, with perfect eyebrows arched in a quizzical manner, pouting like she's waiting for a smooch and glancing coyly to the right, as she sat in her car.
Captioned were the words (verbatim):

"Selfie on a sunny day, sure why not! #selfie #poser #whynot #lovernotahater #brows #vanity #brunette".

The "vanity" hashtag irked me the most.

implausible · 13-05-2015 11:26pm

sara1 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

like a cooler?

retro:electro · 13-05-2015 11:27pm

Why do people hashtag on facebook?

PandaPoo · 13-05-2015 11:45pm

Poxy cloverhill I swear ta god they would wanna get there heads sorted sick of it go d hole way down and find out they forgot the dope how could u forget some1 in prision fuking dopes put back till the morning

coolhull · 13-05-2015 11:57pm

PandaPoo wrote: »

Poxy cloverhill I swear ta god they would wanna get there heads sorted sick of it go d hole way down and find out they forgot the dope how could u forget some1 in prision fuking dopes put back till the morning

But why would anyone go the 'hole way' to Cloverhill to buy dope?

And is a State Prison really the ideal place to go if you feel like getting high? Or am I just old-fashioned?

PandaPoo · 14-05-2015 12:14am

coolhull wrote: »

But why would anyone go the 'hole way' to Cloverhill to buy dope?

And is a State Prison really the ideal place to go if you feel like getting high? Or am I just old-fashioned?

Apparently, the dope they forgot is a paedophile who stabbed her in the head. Jesus Christ these people make me feel so intelligent and posh.

Riesen_Meal · 14-05-2015 9:12am

Wud like to say have a grate day at ##### crisinin, sorry cant be der but I will be home on leev in June....

El Weirdo · 14-05-2015 9:17am

anna080 wrote: »

Why do people hashtag on facebook?

To be fair, most times I see it, it's because the post is via Instagram.

Although, YMMV.

razorblunt · 14-05-2015 9:22am

Fieldog wrote: »

Wud like to say have a grate day at ##### crisinin, sorry cant be der but I will be home on leev in June....

That's embarrassininininin

kitten_k · 14-05-2015 10:41am

Both from the same person:

Haven't ate a thing the last 4 days and wat I did came back up but today I was grand and have the most lovely dinner mushroom stroganoff green beans and mash. Just thought I would share no reason just that I'm a ****ing deadly cook lol

I have a bright spark (Child 1), a snowflake (Child 2) and a little piece of dinamite (Child 3) imagine the three going off all at once it wud be like a scene from ****ing Frozen.

Generic Dreadhead · 14-05-2015 11:56am

Wow, just f**king wow

Referendum may 22 .. Why I'm voting No !! ..
.. They are endless amount of reasons why I'm voting NO on may the 22th some of which I previously posted on my timeline.. But the icing on the cake would have to be the fact that the government are behind this campaign and all the parties .If we have learned anything from the last 15 years in Ireland Its that the Irish government do not serve the Irish people !..
May 22th has very little to do with equality and freedom ,when one thinks of all the governments . Across globe over the last few years, freedom is not what comes to my mind !!. .. People may think there separate issus of course there not , the government only serve there own agenda ,its the nature of the beast !!...For all the Flock voting yes ,I would be very surprised , if you didn't have a Victory ,the government spend 20 million on it ,there it to win it!..
Its impossible to fully understand there agenda ,until one realises that we leave In a World of illusions. Spun by dreams of fear and hate ,For as long as people believe in the nightmare , It well have power of use !! ..

De Bhál · 14-05-2015 12:00pm

Cormac... wrote: »

Wow, just f**king wow

wow, who's got the time in their lives to dream up this stuff.

DVDM93 · 14-05-2015 3:04pm

Cormac... wrote: »

Wow, just f**king wow

It's worrying that most of the spelling in that is correct yet the person is still, quite clearly, very stupid.

MonkeyTennis · 14-05-2015 3:05pm

its the commas

Rosie Rant · 14-05-2015 3:17pm

Ugh. Someone shared this today.
https://m.facebook.com/home.php?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ie%2Fsearch&refid=8&_rdr#!/JordanJansenMusic/photos/a.10150383755079588.374852.233745389587/10152667935104588/?type=1&source=48

Cue lots of people commenting "Hello" underneath. Just waiting for the "Hiya hun, luvz ya" posts. It's not as bad as some of the stuff on here, but it is annoying. And I'm so f*cking sick of minions!!

Chancer3001 · 14-05-2015 3:21pm

anna080 wrote: »

Why do people hashtag on facebook?

Facebook uses hashtags now. Friend of mine showed me lately when we are at abbey road.

Put up #abbeyroad, click on it and it brings up everybody's posts who used that hashtag that day

El Diablo Blanco · 14-05-2015 3:27pm

DVDM93 wrote: »

It's worrying that most of the spelling in that is correct yet the person is still, quite clearly, very stupid.

Not quite sure what I found more offensive; the armchair philosophising at the end, or the fact that the poster was completely incapable of differentiating between there, their or they're...

Gerinspain · 14-05-2015 6:52pm

Was I the only one who was reading "twenty two-th of May" instead of twenty second?

RonanP77 · 14-05-2015 6:57pm

Gerinspain wrote:

Was I the only one who was reading "twenty two-th of May" instead of twenty second?

Twenty seconth.

ratmouse · 14-05-2015 7:30pm

"Congratulations to my stunning hairdresser and her boyfriend on expection there first baby ! Your gone be a great mom"

Two short sentences and yet so many spelling errors!!

DareGod · 14-05-2015 8:04pm

ratmouse wrote: »

"Congratulations to my stunning hairdresser and her boyfriend on expection there first baby ! Your gone be a great mom"

Two short sentences and yet so many spelling errors!!

Those are some really odd spelling mistakes. She got some of the biggest words right and the simplest ones wrong.

ratmouse · 14-05-2015 8:16pm

DareGod wrote: »

Those are some really odd spelling mistakes. She got some of the biggest words right and the simplest ones wrong.

I was thinking the exact same thing!

Sinfonia · 14-05-2015 10:19pm

That looks like autocorrect and a lack of proofreading to me.

KKkitty · 14-05-2015 10:32pm

An utter loony is trying to make out that Derek Davis was nothing but a bully. He uses his like page and personal account to soapbox his innocuous statements. He's never posted about Derek Davis til now either.

Ed Winchester · 15-05-2015 12:03am

I've single Handley just kept kleenex in business for another 10 years..Greys Anatomy. ..]

eternal · 15-05-2015 2:29am

Something non grammar like.

lizzyman · 15-05-2015 7:12am

What the actual **** is the story with lads standing in front of mirrors takin photos of themselves. For the love of christ what has happened to the human race.

Every so often your loved ones will open the door from Heaven, and visit you in a Dream. Just to say "Hello" and to remind you they are still with you, just in a different way.

Cracks appear on walls, so that the light can shine through to the other side

And I haven't even started on the Bob Marley quotes.

Kovu · 15-05-2015 5:00pm

Just after painting this wall,Not bad.....feeling proud

Followed by photos of him painting said wall in the house and a completed photo. It's blue, in case anybody else was dying of suspense.

fussyonion · 15-05-2015 6:02pm

"happy bday son hope its a gud one ya little sh*t all the pain u put me thru all dem years ago an now your old enough for your first legall pint so get dat walla out an buy your mammy a pint ya hear me"

This poignant sentiment was accompanied by a the words "Happy Birthday" but get this...spelled out in cartoon willies.

lizzyman · 15-05-2015 7:46pm

fussyonion wrote: »

"happy bday son hope its a gud one ya little sh*t all the pain u put me thru all dem years ago an now your old enough for your first legall pint so get dat walla out an buy your mammy a pint ya hear me"

This poignant sentiment was accompanied by a the words "Happy Birthday" but get this...spelled out in cartoon willies.

"hav a gud 1" in general makes me shudder.

Pherekydes · 15-05-2015 10:51pm

I shared this story from Waterford Whispers.

A friend posted:

The man is entitled to voice his opinion, that's why its a referendum not a dictat. Beginning to swing no, with all this high horse bullying ****.

wallywhittle · 15-05-2015 11:05pm

See u [insert name] ya dirty whore. Who do u think u are atal to go round talking about me givin me scandal callin me whores up around bunclody and every other town ur feekin everyone!! Walk on my face will ya. Dirty soft girl jealous fat burnt barqueued bastard. Burning your own self and blamin it on an innocent boy lookin for money. Hungry money grabbing bastard. Taken money of a sick boy who genuine not well. d filthy whore got caught feekin a 60year old married man travelling man dat sells furniture wannabe never will be. Bringin on married men for weeks blackmailing them for money not to tell der wife's! Ya rat bastard you can do what ya like to people and the minute someone says boo to u ya runs to the gaurds. Text men who have girlfriends and children callin der girlfriends tramps your the tramp with ur big hairy swampy goul. Ur all burnt out love dat ya hvata go with insert name a 16year old child dat don't know any better cuz nobody else wud have ya. Threatnin children must think someone afraid of u ya wake ferrite. Lyin around your house butt naked not even a sock on infront of a loads young fellas with ur bad burnt leg on display dat u done to urself yock!! In the back of vans and cars just lying there letting them all have Der way with ya u dirty bitch. I know a lot more than u think now and il keep goin now if u dnt stop ya big fishy flaps cuM bucket!! Around since ur 12 Nd 13 sellin urself knows dat for a fact aswell ya smelly prostitue nobody wants ya u Lonley dirty jealous whore dnt flatter urself to think any girl or boy or man or woman likes ya ‪#‎ScabbyBabby‬ ‪#‎burntout‬ ‪#‎walkingSTI‬ ‪#‎barbequed‬

Kovu · 15-05-2015 11:17pm

^^^

burnt barqueued bastard

ur big hairy swampy goul

ya wake ferrite

ya big fishy flaps

That is the status that just kept on giving!!!

:D

coolhull · 15-05-2015 11:17pm

wallywhittle wrote: »

See u [insert name] ya dirty whore. Who do u think u are atal to go round talking about me givin me scandal callin me whores up around bunclody and every other town ur feekin everyone!! Walk on my face will ya. Dirty soft girl jealous fat burnt barqueued bastard. Burning your own self and blamin it on an innocent boy lookin for money. Hungry money grabbing bastard. Taken money of a sick boy who genuine not well. d filthy whore got caught feekin a 60year old married man travelling man dat sells furniture wannabe never will be. Bringin on married men for weeks blackmailing them for money not to tell der wife's! Ya rat bastard you can do what ya like to people and the minute someone says boo to u ya runs to the gaurds. Text men who have girlfriends and children callin der girlfriends tramps your the tramp with ur big hairy swampy goul. Ur all burnt out love dat ya hvata go with insert name a 16year old child dat don't know any better cuz nobody else wud have ya. Threatnin children must think someone afraid of u ya wake ferrite. Lyin around your house butt naked not even a sock on infront of a loads young fellas with ur bad burnt leg on display dat u done to urself yock!! In the back of vans and cars just lying there letting them all have Der way with ya u dirty bitch. I know a lot more than u think now and il keep goin now if u dnt stop ya big fishy flaps cuM bucket!! Around since ur 12 Nd 13 sellin urself knows dat for a fact aswell ya smelly prostitue nobody wants ya u Lonley dirty jealous whore dnt flatter urself to think any girl or boy or man or woman likes ya ‪#‎ScabbyBabby‬ ‪#‎burntout‬ ‪#‎walkingSTI‬ ‪#‎barbequed‬

I may be wrong, but do these two people not get on?

eternal · 15-05-2015 11:23pm

That's repulsive talk. Who are these people?

retro:electro · 15-05-2015 11:28pm

God above in heaven tonight who are these people! Gave me a laugh though

Smidge · 16-05-2015 1:04am

Whats a "wake ferret"?

Kovu · 16-05-2015 1:06am

Smidge wrote: »

Whats a "wake ferret"?

It's 'weak ferret' but written with an accent. Think weeeeahk.

Smidge · 16-05-2015 1:08am

Kovu wrote: »

It's 'weak ferret' but written with an accent. Think weeeeahk.

Ah I see.....I think I speak for every ferret in the land who are high disgusted having been compared to someone with "fishy flaps"

Ferrets are no ho's

lizzyman · 16-05-2015 1:34am

wallywhittle wrote: »

Lyin around your house butt naked not even a sock on infront of a loads young fellas with ur bad burnt leg on display‬

I can't even.

lizzyman · 16-05-2015 2:01am

eternal wrote: »

That's repulsive talk. Who are these people?

What amuses/terrifies me is that all over the country there are people who can read and understand that kind of pidgin English and probably don't see anything wrong with it.

We should probably consider introducing mandatory basic English and grammar lessons for all or we'll be considered to have left the Anglosphere within a few years.

Smidge · 16-05-2015 2:05am

I'm more repulsed by the content tbh than the grammar.
Who talks and acts like this in real life?
Dont get me wrong, I know there are a helluva lot of people who are filthy all over the damn place but seriously???
Broadcasting your own and others gutter habits for all and sundry to see?

Gross

Not a NSA agent · 16-05-2015 2:10am

Smidge wrote: »

Whats a "wake ferret"?

In some rural parts of Ireland you place a ferret in the coffin during a wake. Some places use otters instead but that's just stupid.

coolhull · 16-05-2015 10:47am

Smidge wrote: »

Whats a "wake ferret"?

Wake Ferret- from the Latin phrase 'wakus ferritus', literally translated as 'Total and absolute Gob****e'

Toto Wolfcastle · 16-05-2015 10:58am

It kind of reads like a weird poem in parts, with all the alliteration.

skittles8710 · 16-05-2015 10:59am

"Boys update their status, Real men have status"

Gotta love the cryptic cries for attention.

RainyDay · 16-05-2015 11:04am

lizzyman wrote: »

What amuses/terrifies me is that all over the country there are people who can read and understand that kind of pidgin English and probably don't see anything wrong with it.

We should probably consider introducing mandatory basic English and grammar lessons for all or we'll be considered to have left the Anglosphere within a few years.

This +1000

I really worry that these people are parents, and are presumably helping kids with homework. What happens when the next generation grow up with this, and never actually see proper English.

coolhull · 16-05-2015 11:09am

RainyDay wrote: »

This +1000

I really worry that these people are parents, and are presumably helping kids with homework. What happens when the next generation grow up with this, and never actually see proper English.

U worry 2 much, hon

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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