Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Hugo Stiglitz · 05-03-2016 9:58pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Jaws are trying to clamp shut.. Haven't missed meds or been under any extra pressure so I'm pretty frustrated with this..

Jesus, that sounds very distressing.

*hugs*

carzony · 05-03-2016 9:59pm

Having a feeling like I can't swallow all week, So I decided to google it and of course it's anxiety related. Jesus can I never get a break from it ffs...

Hugo Stiglitz · 05-03-2016 10:02pm

carzony wrote: »

Having a feeling like I can't swallow all week, So I decided to google it and of course it's anxiety related. Jesus can I never get a break from it ffs...

That sounds rough, C. I hope it passes soon for you.

I get this nasty gagging sensation when I'm really anxious. It makes me start to heave. Very embarrassing. Getting the sensation causes my anxiety to spike. I usually carry a drink with me nearly constantly because of this, in an effort to keep it at bay.

Gremlinertia · 05-03-2016 10:03pm

carzony wrote: »

Having a feeling like I can't swallow all week, So I decided to google it and of course it's anxiety related. Jesus can I never get a break from it ffs...

I get that on and off too. Dr google is an ass but sure we all know that really..

Hugo, it's not nice but I've had it on and off for a long time so it's more frustrating than anything.. How are you doing?

mickstupp · 05-03-2016 10:31pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Jaws are trying to clamp shut.. Haven't missed meds or been under any extra pressure so I'm pretty frustrated with this..

I know that feeling the past few months. It's really weird. I don't like it.

Hugo Stiglitz · 05-03-2016 10:33pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I get that on and off too. Dr google is an ass but sure we all know that really..

Hugo, it's not nice but I've had it on and off for a long time so it's more frustrating than anything.. How are you doing?

Not too shabby this evening, Grem. Thanks.

Man, anxiety is bad enough but hearing of so many people having these horrible physical symptoms is, well, depressing!

Turtle_ · 05-03-2016 10:38pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Man, anxiety is bad enough but hearing of so many people having these horrible physical symptoms is, well, depressing!

I'm currently in kinda the opposite boat... Physical symptoms (arrhythmia, tachycardia) that I think are nothing to do with anxiety but are being blamed on it and thus being diminished :mad:

It's so frustrating trying to explain that when the palpitations were happening I was just not anxious. (I was happy because I thought I was dying, but that's a different thing altogether

)

Hugo Stiglitz · 05-03-2016 11:17pm

Turtle_ wrote: »

I'm currently in kinda the opposite boat... Physical symptoms (arrhythmia, tachycardia) that I think are nothing to do with anxiety but are being blamed on it and thus being diminished :mad:

It's so frustrating trying to explain that when the palpitations were happening I was just not anxious. (I was happy because I thought I was dying, but that's a different thing altogether )

Sorry to hear that, Turtle. I hope they take it seriously soon. x

StripedBoxers · 05-03-2016 11:34pm

Hope things improve for you guys soon.

Another horrific day here.

I am completely worn out from everything. I don't know how much more I can take, before crumbling completely. I need a break. I need something to go right for me, even just one thing.

Hugo Stiglitz · 06-03-2016 2:47am

Worst weekend in a while for the head acting up.

Hope ye are all getting on ok there.

Gremlinertia · 06-03-2016 3:47am

Hugs Hugo, hopefully it passes soon for you.

Turtle_ · 06-03-2016 10:02am

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Worst weekend in a while for the head acting up.

Hope ye are all getting on ok there.

Sorry to hear, anything in particular this weekend?

Keane2baMused · 06-03-2016 10:30am

Hi all,

Just had a read through the whole thread! It's great to see such an open discussion on a topic this country is still so closed about.

So I'm a 30 year old woman, mum to two and I have had depression, GAD, PND, PMDD and as if that's not enough..an eating disorder for the guts of 14 years. Thankfully my ED is under control the past couple of years. Depression and anxiety however can rear its ugly head at any point.

I've had some extraordinarily low points over the years. It would be nice to chat to those in similar circumstances.

Lady is a Tramp your posts about Pats are like reading extracts of my past. I spent some time there also previously. Unfortunately my experience wasn't too great. I was put on an ED programme (outpatient one but while an inpatient..I stayed in a general ward). And just when things started to improve, one day out of the blue myself and another woman were taken off the programme and sent back to our rooms. Told that hospital policy had just changed and you couldn't attend the day programme while an inpatient.

It really knocked me for six. My consultant discharged me a few days later and they wanted me to come back in every day. I lived almost an hour from the hospital so that wasn't going to happen! I never went back after and just had to slog along myself.

Right now I'm ticking along. Some days are good and some are terrible.

Anyway enough about me. I hope everyone else is having as good a day as they can. Hugo, Stripedboxers and turtle I hope things seem lighter for you all soon.

Lady is a tramp · 06-03-2016 10:33am

Nurses got sleeping tablets for me, wow, I just had the best nights sleep EVER! Didn't even get up for breakfast, I'm still in bed!

No dodgy dreams either. Feeling so good after it!

Hugo Stiglitz · 06-03-2016 1:59pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hugs Hugo, hopefully it passes soon for you.

Thanks, Grem.

Turtle_ wrote: »

Sorry to hear, anything in particular this weekend?

Thanks. Just a mixture of work and personal stuff. It seems to feel a lot worse at night for some reason.

How ye all are getting on ok there.

dougalbear · 06-03-2016 6:41pm

Low self esteem issue is festering with a long time.I have attended counselling with two counsellors a couple of years apart for a considerable duration of time with both. It's like nothing sticks with me in terms of advice offered.

There and then in the session what realisations I put forward to the counsellor gives them the impression that I am coming on, but by midweek I have returned to negative thinking and self destructive dialogue in my head. Their patience wears thin and more less leave at that don't ask when I want to make a follow up appointment.

Family are pushing me to go to a life coach, right now I feel so tense about going to a life coach and rehashing back over a decade of crap that has me where I am today.

Does anyone relate to what I am saying or does it make sense at all?

Turtle_ · 06-03-2016 6:49pm

dougalbear wrote: »

Low self esteem issue is festering with a long time.I have attended counselling with two counsellors a couple of years apart for a considerable duration of time with both. It's like nothing sticks with me in terms of advice offered.

There and then in the session what realisations I put forward to the counsellor gives them the impression that I am coming on, but by midweek I have returned to negative thinking and self destructive dialogue in my head. Their patience wears thin and more less leave at that don't ask when I want to make a follow up appointment.

Family are pushing me to go to a life coach, right now I feel so tense about going to a life coach and rehashing back over a decade of crap that has me where I am today.

Does anyone relate to what I am saying or does it make sense at all?

Wouldn't bother with life coaching... There's one in my extended family and she's legit the biggest screw up in the whole extended family, has put her kid through hell and then has the gall to tell others what they should be doing...

It might be worth trying a different type of therapy to the type you used before?

Gremlinertia · 06-03-2016 7:51pm

Heyo Dougal, have you been to a doctor?. Not sure from your post but counselling can be hit or miss especially if it's not targeting a specific thing for you. I also went to a counsellor for some time and found my experience similar to yours - thing just wouldn't stick. Also sometimes I came out feeling 'strange' for want of a better word.. Then I was referred to the psychiatry out patients by my doc and while it's been very slow it's been well worth it..

StripedBoxers · 07-03-2016 8:17am

Morning all...

Another long and sleepless night for me, another day, another battle ahead...

Hope you all have a great day

dougalbear · 07-03-2016 8:29am

My doctor prescribes me for anxiety when I feel my back is to the wall. All I can do is keep going forward and seeking therapy until I reach some state of satisfaction with myself. Thank you both for taking the time to reply to me.

get a room · 07-03-2016 8:35am

Turtle_ wrote: »

Wouldn't bother with life coaching... There's one in my extended family and she's legit the biggest screw up in the whole extended family, has put her kid through hell and then has the gall to tell others what they should be doing...

It might be worth trying a different type of therapy to the type you used before?

I concur.

carzony · 07-03-2016 11:54am

Went to the doctors only to be told he never made the appointment over the phone last week. Waited 30 mins in waiting room just to be told that. One mess up after another with them.

bridgettedon · 07-03-2016 1:05pm

carzony wrote: »

Went to the doctors only to be told he never made the appointment over the phone last week. Waited 30 mins in waiting room just to be told that. One mess up after another with them.

Very very unprofessional. It's one thing after another with them. Go to a new doctor if you can.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 1:11pm

carzony wrote: »

Went to the doctors only to be told he never made the appointment over the phone last week. Waited 30 mins in waiting room just to be told that. One mess up after another with them.

Jaysus, that's disgraceful carry on! :mad:

carzony · 07-03-2016 1:39pm

I ended up leaving in the end without even consulting the receptionist.. I'm gonna ring tomorrow and demand a house visit.. Let him suffer the inconvienience..

Have to say from what I have seen there is just no help from these people.. I think i'll have to claim my situation is worse than it is to get any kind fo assistance....

Keane2baMused · 07-03-2016 2:13pm

Anyone ever have days were suddenly things hit you like a tonne of bricks?

Today is like that. From 0 -> 360 at the blink of a teary eye.

StripedBoxers · 07-03-2016 2:33pm

*hugs* Carzony, sorry to hear that, its scandalous carry on by that doctor.

Is seeing or switching to another GP an option for you?

I hope you get some help soon, I've my fingers crossed for you.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 4:32pm

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Anyone ever have days were suddenly things hit you like a tonne of bricks?

Today is like that. From 0 -> 360 at the blink of a teary eye.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough day there. If you want to talk it out, we're all here to listen.

StripedBoxers · 07-03-2016 6:18pm

Another rough day, got a last minute appointment to see my occupational therapist tomorrow thank god. Looking forward to that appointment.

Lady is a tramp · 07-03-2016 7:14pm

What kind of work are you doing with your OT, if you don't mind me asking? Had my first appointment with mine today ... hard to know where to start!

StripedBoxers · 07-03-2016 8:20pm

Thanks Hugo

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

What kind of work are you doing with your OT, if you don't mind me asking? Had my first appointment with mine today ... hard to know where to start!

Yeah sure no bother. I'm eating right now but I'll do up a post and come back with it in a bit

If you've any other questions etc feel free to ask

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 8:39pm

Does anyone here find that they can get very distressed when they obsess over things?

mickstupp · 07-03-2016 9:15pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Does anyone here find that they can get very distressed when they obsess over things?

Yes, when I get into a rumination loop, it not only kills all other thinking, it greatly damages my ability to keep tension, stress, depression at bay. And it builds up, so I'm far more unstable and likely to lose control. Holding myself together can be very difficult then. I mean it's difficult now, but when I'm obsessing over something it's far harder. Right now I'm tense all over and for the last few weeks have a tendency to lose it at the most inconvenient moments, just for a few seconds... but all that is way more pronounced when obsessing or ruminating on something.

And it is really distressing. Not just the physical and emotional symptoms, but the not knowing when it's going to end, or when it's going to hit. It kind of fills you with fear even when you're not obsessing... which sometimes kicks you into obsessing over it cause you're so damn worried about it happening!!!! ARGH!

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 9:41pm

mickstupp wrote: »

Yes, when I get into a rumination loop, it not only kills all other thinking, it greatly damages my ability to keep tension, stress, depression at bay. And it builds up, so I'm far more unstable and likely to lose control. Holding myself together can be very difficult then. I mean it's difficult now, but when I'm obsessing over something it's far harder. Right now I'm tense all over and for the last few weeks have a tendency to lose it at the most inconvenient moments, just for a few seconds... but all that is way more pronounced when obsessing or ruminating on something.

And it is really distressing. Not just the physical and emotional symptoms, but the not knowing when it's going to end, or when it's going to hit. It kind of fills you with fear even when you're not obsessing... which sometimes kicks you into obsessing over it cause you're so damn worried about it happening!!!! ARGH!

Well said, Mick.

I've been declining in terms of mood and fear the last few weeks. Sadly, this has increased with the decline.

mickstupp · 07-03-2016 10:00pm

I've been having good luck dealing with the rumination for the last few weeks. Everything else, not so good, but the rumination is becoming less of a problem.

I've started talking to myself about it. So when I notice I'm doing it, instead of fighting it and trying to distract myself out it etc. etc. which never really works anyway, I stop struggling. Try and accept it.

So I'll literally be standing in the kitchen or something and say out loud: "Ah! I'm ruminating. I can see it now. Those thoughts about XYZ, flying around back and forth. Yep... there's that imaginary conversation I've been repeating for the past three days. I can see that now too. And what's it doing to me? It's making me feel awful. And constricted and tense and upset. I am feeling upset. And it's making me feel more depressed. ... But I'm not always deep in rumination, and that's what this is. So it'll go eventually in its own time. I know by now I can't fight my way out of it. So I'm accepting it. Hi there Rumination, you lousy piece of sh*t. I see you. Do what you have to do, I've been here before, I'll just wait till you've finished and then I'll get on with my life."

And the oddest thing has been happening... if I manage to literally talk out loud to myself, accepting what's going on, the rumination has been having less of a hold on me. Gradually decreasing. I have moments, or the odd hour here and there where it strangles me. But I'm no longer having days or weeks of the same thing over and over and over.

Can't say it'll always be this good (hah), but for the moment, speaking to myself about accepting the rumination seems to be working.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 10:15pm

mickstupp wrote: »

I've been having good luck dealing with the rumination for the last few weeks. Everything else, not so good, but the rumination is becoming less of a problem.

I've started talking to myself about it. So when I notice I'm doing it, instead of fighting it and trying to distract myself out it etc. etc. which never really works anyway, I stop struggling. Try and accept it.

So I'll literally be standing in the kitchen or something and say out loud: "Ah! I'm ruminating. I can see it now. Those thoughts about XYZ, flying around back and forth. Yep... there's that imaginary conversation I've been repeating for the past three days. I can see that now too. And what's it doing to me? It's making me feel awful. And constricted and tense and upset. I am feeling upset. And it's making me feel more depressed. ... But I'm not always deep in rumination, and that's what this is. So it'll go eventually in its own time. I know by now I can't fight my way out of it. So I'm accepting it. Hi there Rumination, you lousy piece of sh*t. I see you. Do what you have to do, I've been here before, I'll just wait till you've finished and then I'll get on with my life."

And the oddest thing has been happening... if I manage to literally talk out loud to myself, accepting what's going on, the rumination has been having less of a hold on me. Gradually decreasing. I have moments, or the odd hour here and there where it strangles me. But I'm no longer having days or weeks of the same thing over and over and over.

Can't say it'll always be this good (hah), but for the moment, speaking to myself about accepting the rumination seems to be working.

I'll have to try doing that. It's really beating me at the moment in time unfortunately.

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2016 10:21pm

Mickstup i was smiling reading your post, i find that really useful as a strategy too. It takes away the power of the ruminating thoughts.. Fair play to you 4 had to be taught that one!

Hugo it's well worth it, might feel silly to start but stay with it..

mickstupp · 07-03-2016 10:21pm

It's the acceptance part. I was really skeptical about it. But I kept trying it, on the man's advice, and it's been helping more and more.

Doesn't seem to make a difference for the depression side of things... or certain types of thoughts... but for the rumination it's been doing the trick.

I hope you find a way to kick its ass. Because I know how awful it can be. If I was anywhere near you I'd give you a hug.

---

@Gremlinertia - yeah, that's it! Taking away its power! I used to do it before college exams years ago. I'd sit down and write everything I was scared about. Getting that stuff out of my head and onto a page, or in this case saying it out loud, it puts a shape on things, stops it from rattling around in your head chaotically. You can see the problem and even though it's still a problem, it gets smaller. It's putting some sort of control on it, shining a light on it. Or something.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 10:26pm

I'll give it a good hard go so. Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it.

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2016 10:39pm

You'll laugh and feel a bit cringe but stick with it Hugo, best o luck..

mickstupp · 07-03-2016 10:43pm

While I'm here, anyone any tips to stop a person randomly breaking into tears at a moment's notice? Asking for a friend. Name rhymes with mixed up.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 10:44pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

You'll laugh and feel a bit cringe but stick with it Hugo, best o luck..

Shur I cringe at the best of times, Grem mon! :pac:

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2016 10:49pm

mickstupp wrote: »

While I'm here, anyone any tips to stop a person randomly breaking into tears at a moment's notice? Asking for a friend. Name rhymes with mixed up.

Add me to the list on that request. I don't break into tears really but i get mad teary eyes out of nowhere, almost as suddenly as getting a kick in the nethers.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 10:54pm

mickstupp wrote: »

While I'm here, anyone any tips to stop a person randomly breaking into tears at a moment's notice? Asking for a friend. Name rhymes with mixed up.

No tips, unfortunately. I need tips for that too. Could have done with them 15 minutes ago!

bridgettedon · 07-03-2016 10:57pm

Does anyone sleep loads? Last night I slept for 11 hours and then had a two hour nap earlier. I didn't even have work today so have no excuse.

mickstupp · 07-03-2016 11:04pm

Can't sleep, wake up every 20 minutes or so. Get about 4 hours to 5 hours total a night if I'm lucky. Which is probably adding to the instability...

I don't know anything about sleep, or sleep disturbances though.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 11:05pm

mickstupp wrote: »

Can't sleep, wake up every 20 minutes or so. Get about 4 hours to 5 hours total a night if I'm lucky. Which is probably adding to the instability...

*bro-hugs* I can imagine. :-/

I sleep for 12 hours or more if left alone to. Usually on the weekend. During the week is the opposite, I get about 4 hours a night. It really does affect me negatively.

bridgettedon · 07-03-2016 11:05pm

mickstupp wrote: »

Can't sleep, wake up every 20 minutes or so. Get about 4 hours to 5 hours total a night if I'm lucky. Which is probably adding to the instability...

It's funny how it affects us differently. I wouldn't be able to survive on 5 hours sleep on a regular basis.

Euphoria Intensifies · 07-03-2016 11:18pm

carzony wrote: »

Went to the doctors only to be told he never made the appointment over the phone last week. Waited 30 mins in waiting room just to be told that. One mess up after another with them.

Oh that is awful carzony! So unprofessional of them. But well done on making it to the doctors and sitting in the waiting room - I know you've been struggling with that so you should mark today as a bit of a win anyway.

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Anyone ever have days were suddenly things hit you like a tonne of bricks?

Today is like that. From 0 -> 360 at the blink of a teary eye.

This was me today. I skipped work and spent the day in bed (which was stupid as I was meant to work from home today) and just avoided the world. My sleep has been so bad lately, constantly waking up during the night and finding it hard to fall back asleep.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-03-2016 11:34pm

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

This was me today. I skipped work and spent the day in bed (which was stupid as I was meant to work from home today) and just avoided the world. My sleep has been so bad lately, constantly waking up during the night and finding it hard to fall back asleep.

Sorry to hear that, EI. Hope things improve there soon.

Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

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