Movies with a modern twist

Riddle101 · 16-01-2019 12:58pm

Jane Bond is the first ever transgender 00 agent to be welcomed to MI6. Jane is a by the books type of agent who never drinks or gambles and never sleeps around.

w/s/p/c/ · 16-01-2019 1:10pm

Die Hard - The hostage situation and takeover by Hans Gruber and his gang is live broadcast on Facebook / Instagram and police/SWAT/FBI respond within minutes.

John McClane sues the owners of Nakatomi Plaza for emotional distress to himself and his wife caused by the brief hostage situation.

Flyer29 · 16-01-2019 1:17pm

Lord of the Rings- Return of the King

They destroy the ring by smashing it with a Nokia 3210

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 16-01-2019 1:23pm

Trading Places - black beggar mistaken for thief by rich white guy. Is given job, house, protection and chance at fresh start; while rich guy is villified and fired for his blatant racism, heartless selfishness while.... oh wait...

CrankyHaus · 16-01-2019 2:12pm

The Count of Monte Cristo - instead of a life sentence in the Chàteau D'Ilf, Dantès is given concurrent sentences with automatic 25% remission and further reductions based on time served and good behaviour. Gets out in 4 months and feels no need to exert revenge on the men responsible for his short imprisonment which he spent watching daytime TV, The End.

16-01-2019 2:22pm

The River Wild

Meryl Streep gets entangled with mega scum Kevin Bacon on a North American river (I forget which one). Streep somehow manages to report her iPhone as stolen, before Bacon takes it off her. It takes snaps of Bacon as the 'phone thief'. Streep escapes (OK, I think she is a great actress).
Batch of state troopers come. Bacon escapes them, because he threw phone away, after realising it took pictures of him.

Now there can be a sequel. (I like badass Kevin Bacon too!)

branie2 · 16-01-2019 2:29pm

The Passion of the Christ - Pilate decides to commute Jesus' death sentence to life, just the as the execution party gets to Calvary

BrokenArrows · 16-01-2019 3:43pm

branie2 wrote: »

The Passion of the Christ - Pilate decides to commute Jesus' death sentence to life, just the as the execution party gets to Calvary

Boom_Bap · 16-01-2019 3:50pm

Shawshank Redemption
Ah sure, just do your life sentence in 2 years, we'll make it concurrent somehow. Here's a paper team OLED tv screen instead of a poster.

w/s/p/c/ · 16-01-2019 4:04pm

The Snapper - Georgie Burgess would currently be on the sex offenders list as a convicted rapist!

Penn · 16-01-2019 4:12pm

Groundhog Day - Phil wakes up every morning to the sound of the new Gillette ad, rejects the idea that he should try to become a better person and spends infinity as an arsehole (while lamenting that he can't grow a protest beard in one day).

branie2 · 16-01-2019 4:37pm

Les Miserables, with the main action during the yellow vest protests in Paris.

16-01-2019 4:47pm

w/s/p/c/ wrote: »

Die Hard - The hostage situation and takeover by Hans Gruber and his gang is live broadcast on Facebook / Instagram and police/SWAT/FBI respond within minutes.

John McClane sues the owners of Nakatomi Plaza for emotional distress to himself and his wife caused by the brief hostage situation.

Actually the police responded quite quickly but they got smashed by the bazooka fired from the building

facehugger99 · 16-01-2019 5:11pm

All the President's Men.

The President of America is found to be complicit in the Watergate break in and cover up.

He brands the Washington Post a fake news outlet on twitter and everyone shrugs their shoulders and life carries on.

topper75 · 16-01-2019 6:36pm

w/s/p/c/ wrote: »

The Snapper - Georgie Burgess would currently be on the sex offenders list as a convicted rapist!

Sorry to upset your joke - but there is no such thing in Ireland would you believe...

https://connachttribune.ie/sex-offenders-list-doesnt-actually-exist-999/

16-01-2019 6:47pm

The Shining

Family go to Hotel to act as caretakers for Winter.

They have a facebook page. As the movie goes on, their updates go from family friendly to messed up family, and they get more 'defriended' and blocked on facebook.

One of the final posts, Nicholson posts "Here's Johnny" with a selfie of himself wielding the axe with a manic grin. The Hotel is a bit trashed too

Now, the Hotel property owners become concerned, for the structural and cosmetic damage done to the Hotel, and its mentioned that the family now won't get paid any remuneration etc - the sheriffs and eviction team are sent in.

They get killed by Jack before he freezes to death, and the mother and son make it out alive in the caterpillar.

branie2 · 16-01-2019 7:04pm

Animal Farm

Napoleon dons a blonde wig and vows to make the farm great again

facehugger99 · 16-01-2019 7:20pm

Leaving Las Vegas.

Recently introduced Minimum Unit Pricing legislation encourages Nicolas Cage to cut down on his problem drinking and seek professional help for his addiction issues.

branie2 · 16-01-2019 7:32pm

Oliver Twist - Mr Bumble gets arrested for child abuse and neglect

whisky_galore · 16-01-2019 8:40pm

All the Indiana Jones movies - Indy charged with destroying archaeological sites and artefacts.

branie2 · 16-01-2019 9:21pm

Philadelphia, Here I Come - Public Gar sends an email to his Aunt Lizzy at the end of the film, saying he's changed his mind about the hotel job, and he's staying in Ballybeg.

17-01-2019 1:15am

Castaway:
FedEx Plane crashes. Crash site quickly located with Google maps technology. Pilot rescued. Blackbox recovered. After reading Blackbox data, Pilot is arrested. Cut to Courtcase. Pilot found guilty and jailed a la Denzel Washington in his plane crash movie. Finale: Tom Hanks seen left on his own, without a soul to talk to.

Capt'n Midnight · 17-01-2019 1:19am

bnt wrote: »

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen:.

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies.

Capt'n Midnight · 17-01-2019 1:26am

Plopsu wrote: »

It's A Wonderful Life - money is moved around electronically, so it doesn't go missing in the first place.

Nothing needs to change. They just need to show what happens next.

Remember Uncle Billy lost the money and Potter found and kept it. And gets paid too.

George needs to pay everyone back so the company is still insolvent. Potter can use the cash Uncle Billy lost to trade at a loss to hasten the demise of George's company.

Uncle Billy goes to jump off a bridge, and no one shows up.

It's a perfect greed is good story.

branie2 · 17-01-2019 1:37am

Left Behind - Jesus returns at the end, bringing all the raptured people with him.

mzungu · 17-01-2019 2:14am

Sarah Connor checks in at work on Facebook and is easily found and terminated by the T-1000.

Collie D · 17-01-2019 8:03am

The Truman Show

Truman exits the studio world and is interviewed my Davina McCall. Goes on to make a career by appearing on Celebrity Come Dancing, Love Island and Dancing on Ice. Has his contract as the face of Iceland Supermarkets torn up after retweeting Katie Hopkins and is replaced by Callum Best before fading away into obscurity, bankruptcy and a string of ill thought out relationships. His attempt at a comeback ends before it begins when his cover version of Michael Bolton peaks at number 88 in the download charts.

branie2 · 17-01-2019 12:27pm

Educating Rita

Rita quits her course after getting discouraged

Richard Hillman · 17-01-2019 1:21pm

Rocky IV

After the death of Apollo Creed, Rocky takes up the challenge of fighting Ivan Drago. The fight takes place in Las Vegas to maximize PPV revenue and to reduce the tax burden. Rocky wins the fight on points after a snoozefest and Eddie Hearn jumps into the ring celebrating as if he won it himself.

After the fight, Rocky and Drago hug it out and proclaim their respect for each other. Eddie Hearn announces that there will be a money spinning rematch.

WoollyRedHat · 17-01-2019 1:46pm

Collie D wrote: »

The Truman Show

Truman exits the studio world and is interviewed my Davina McCall. Goes on to make a career by appearing on Celebrity Come Dancing, Love Island and Dancing on Ice. Has his contract as the face of Iceland Supermarkets torn up after retweeting Katie Hopkins and is replaced by Callum Best before fading away into obscurity, bankruptcy and a string of ill thought out relationships. His attempt at a comeback ends before it begins when his cover version of Michael Bolton peaks at number 88 in the download charts.

Ha. As an inside The Truman Show is a masterpiece that came true and now haunts us. Excellent article about it here: https://www.avclub.com/the-truman-show-was-a-delusion-that-came-true-1826535781

Captain Red Beard · 17-01-2019 1:52pm

Pulp Fiction.

Vincent Vega puts the safety on and doesn't accidently shoot Marvin in the face. The two lads don't have to go to Inglewood to get the car cleaned up. Instead they go to the beach, Jules decides he'll do one more job, and is available as back up when Vincent goes to whack Butch. Vincent isn't caught with his pants down, Jules gets righteous on Butch and it's goodnight from Butch. Job done, Jules and Vincent go for breakfast in a different diner, never bumping into Honey Bunny and Pumpkin.
Marcellus, as a result, crosses the road safely, doesn't chase Butch into the pawn shop. He isn't raped. The end.

branie2 · 17-01-2019 1:59pm

or Butch obeys Marsellus and dives in the 5th round.

Another twist for Butch: He packs the gold watch himself, avoiding the drama in the pawn shop

branie2 · 17-01-2019 2:29pm

Carry on Camping - After her bra pops off, Babs quickly retrieves it and puts it in before Matron takes her away.

paulbok · 17-01-2019 2:42pm

The 6th Sense.
Kid turns round to Bruce Willis and says;
"You see dead people, all the time."
He is the only one left alive in the world as the rest all died from turning vegan after a Leo Varadkar speech.

17-01-2019 2:46pm

silverharp wrote: »

Karate kid – plucky white kid moves to California only to be picked on by a gang of Latinos, is saved by an ageing Conor McGregor who teaches him MMA by pulling pints and grappling with drunks in his old Irish pub.

and how to pick up a single grain of coke with a chopstick.

Pherekydes · 17-01-2019 5:55pm

Titanic: Luxurious cruise liner steams full speed towards the north Atlantic ice pack on its maiden voyage, but the hypermodern nav system detects ice and re-routes the ship around it. It arrives in NY only 10 minutes late.

Nobody dies.

Except the kid who tried to get into his stateroom from the balcony next door.

And the 351 old people who got the winter vomiting bug.

branie2 · 17-01-2019 6:16pm

United 93, the passengers and cabin crew get text-messages about the the World Trade Center attacks, spot the would-be hijackers and prevent them from entering the cockpit.

facehugger99 · 17-01-2019 6:16pm

Bladerunner.

Set in 2019, the Replicants are easily recognizable and don't look remotely human. They have trouble navigating everyday obstacle such as stairs and doors and are quickly apprehended and destroyed.

branie2 · 17-01-2019 6:24pm

The Blair Witch Project - the trio are discovered by a woodsman and are taken home.

17-01-2019 6:56pm

branie2 wrote: »

United 93, the passengers and cabin crew get text-messages about the the World Trade Center attacks, spot the would-be hijackers and prevent them from entering the cockpit.

only if it was on whatsapp over wifi provided on the plane

would not get a mobile signal at cruising altitude for normal text messages

paulbok · 17-01-2019 10:09pm

glasso wrote: »

only if it was on whatsapp over wifi provided on the plane

would not get a mobile signal at cruising altitude for normal text messages

Could be Viber or an old fashioned email Pat

Capt'n Midnight · 17-01-2019 11:02pm

Every movie where the military use Hollywood Tactics to get too close.

In reality the plucky rebels or monster would be taken out by the simple expedient of using long range weapons.

Richard Hillman · 18-01-2019 1:24am

Braveheart

In the push for Scottish independence, William Wallace sets up a Twitter account to abuse politicians and organize Protests. They eventually get a referendum but the Scottish people vote to remain in the union.

Pa8301 · 18-01-2019 1:59am

branie2 wrote: »

United 93, the passengers and cabin crew get text-messages about the the World Trade Center attacks, spot the would-be hijackers and prevent them from entering the cockpit.

You do realise that there were mobile phones in 2001 and you could text with them? They're not that recent a development.

upupup · 18-01-2019 11:54am

Pretty Woman.
Julia Roberts gets busted for Prostitution.
Irish remake.....Richard Gere get arrested for buying sex.

BrokenArrows · 18-01-2019 12:35pm

upupup wrote: »

Pretty Woman.
Julia Roberts gets busted for Prostitution.
Irish remake.....Richard Gere get arrested for buying sex.

And is diagnosed with a number of STD's

Dakotabigone · 18-01-2019 1:24pm

Bird box

Sandra ends up in the dole office.

facehugger99 · 18-01-2019 4:45pm

Dakotabigone wrote: »

Bird box

Sandra ends up in the dole office.

branie2 · 19-01-2019 9:18pm

The Van

Health and Safety close it down due to a lot of violations

Dakotabigone · 19-01-2019 10:43pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

She meets Margerat cash and her children. She is offered a can of Heineken.

Movies with a modern twist

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