Movies with a modern twist

Penn

Groundhog Day - Phil wakes up every morning to the sound of the new Gillette ad, rejects the idea that he should try to become a better person and spends infinity as an arsehole (while lamenting that he can't grow a protest beard in one day).

branie2

Les Miserables, with the main action during the yellow vest protests in Paris.

w/s/p/c/

w/s/p/c/ wrote: »

Die Hard - The hostage situation and takeover by Hans Gruber and his gang is live broadcast on Facebook / Instagram and police/SWAT/FBI respond within minutes.

John McClane sues the owners of Nakatomi Plaza for emotional distress to himself and his wife caused by the brief hostage situation.

Actually the police responded quite quickly but they got smashed by the bazooka fired from the building

facehugger99

All the President's Men.

The President of America is found to be complicit in the Watergate break in and cover up.

He brands the Washington Post a fake news outlet on twitter and everyone shrugs their shoulders and life carries on.

topper75

w/s/p/c/ wrote: »

The Snapper - Georgie Burgess would currently be on the sex offenders list as a convicted rapist!

Sorry to upset your joke - but there is no such thing in Ireland would you believe...

https://connachttribune.ie/sex-offenders-list-doesnt-actually-exist-999/

The Shining

Family go to Hotel to act as caretakers for Winter.

They have a facebook page. As the movie goes on, their updates go from family friendly to messed up family, and they get more 'defriended' and blocked on facebook.

One of the final posts, Nicholson posts "Here's Johnny" with a selfie of himself wielding the axe with a manic grin. The Hotel is a bit trashed too

Now, the Hotel property owners become concerned, for the structural and cosmetic damage done to the Hotel, and its mentioned that the family now won't get paid any remuneration etc - the sheriffs and eviction team are sent in.

They get killed by Jack before he freezes to death, and the mother and son make it out alive in the caterpillar.

branie2

Animal Farm

Napoleon dons a blonde wig and vows to make the farm great again

facehugger99

Leaving Las Vegas.

Recently introduced Minimum Unit Pricing legislation encourages Nicolas Cage to cut down on his problem drinking and seek professional help for his addiction issues.

branie2

Oliver Twist - Mr Bumble gets arrested for child abuse and neglect

whisky_galore

All the Indiana Jones movies - Indy charged with destroying archaeological sites and artefacts.

branie2

Philadelphia, Here I Come - Public Gar sends an email to his Aunt Lizzy at the end of the film, saying he's changed his mind about the hotel job, and he's staying in Ballybeg.

Castaway:
FedEx Plane crashes. Crash site quickly located with Google maps technology. Pilot rescued. Blackbox recovered. After reading Blackbox data, Pilot is arrested. Cut to Courtcase. Pilot found guilty and jailed a la Denzel Washington in his plane crash movie. Finale: Tom Hanks seen left on his own, without a soul to talk to.

Capt'n Midnight

bnt wrote: »

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen:.

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies.

Capt'n Midnight

Plopsu wrote: »

It's A Wonderful Life - money is moved around electronically, so it doesn't go missing in the first place.

Nothing needs to change. They just need to show what happens next.

Remember Uncle Billy lost the money and Potter found and kept it. And gets paid too.

George needs to pay everyone back so the company is still insolvent. Potter can use the cash Uncle Billy lost to trade at a loss to hasten the demise of George's company.



Uncle Billy goes to jump off a bridge, and no one shows up.


It's a perfect greed is good story.

branie2

Left Behind - Jesus returns at the end, bringing all the raptured people with him.

mzungu

Sarah Connor checks in at work on Facebook and is easily found and terminated by the T-1000.

Collie D

The Truman Show

Truman exits the studio world and is interviewed my Davina McCall. Goes on to make a career by appearing on Celebrity Come Dancing, Love Island and Dancing on Ice. Has his contract as the face of Iceland Supermarkets torn up after retweeting Katie Hopkins and is replaced by Callum Best before fading away into obscurity, bankruptcy and a string of ill thought out relationships. His attempt at a comeback ends before it begins when his cover version of Michael Bolton peaks at number 88 in the download charts.

branie2

Educating Rita

Rita quits her course after getting discouraged

Richard Hillman

Rocky IV

After the death of Apollo Creed, Rocky takes up the challenge of fighting Ivan Drago. The fight takes place in Las Vegas to maximize PPV revenue and to reduce the tax burden. Rocky wins the fight on points after a snoozefest and Eddie Hearn jumps into the ring celebrating as if he won it himself.

After the fight, Rocky and Drago hug it out and proclaim their respect for each other. Eddie Hearn announces that there will be a money spinning rematch.

WoollyRedHat

Collie D wrote: »

The Truman Show

Truman exits the studio world and is interviewed my Davina McCall. Goes on to make a career by appearing on Celebrity Come Dancing, Love Island and Dancing on Ice. Has his contract as the face of Iceland Supermarkets torn up after retweeting Katie Hopkins and is replaced by Callum Best before fading away into obscurity, bankruptcy and a string of ill thought out relationships. His attempt at a comeback ends before it begins when his cover version of Michael Bolton peaks at number 88 in the download charts.

Ha. As an inside The Truman Show is a masterpiece that came true and now haunts us. Excellent article about it here: https://www.avclub.com/the-truman-show-was-a-delusion-that-came-true-1826535781

Captain Red Beard

Pulp Fiction.

Vincent Vega puts the safety on and doesn't accidently shoot Marvin in the face. The two lads don't have to go to Inglewood to get the car cleaned up. Instead they go to the beach, Jules decides he'll do one more job, and is available as back up when Vincent goes to whack Butch. Vincent isn't caught with his pants down, Jules gets righteous on Butch and it's goodnight from Butch. Job done, Jules and Vincent go for breakfast in a different diner, never bumping into Honey Bunny and Pumpkin.
Marcellus, as a result, crosses the road safely, doesn't chase Butch into the pawn shop. He isn't raped. The end.

branie2

or Butch obeys Marsellus and dives in the 5th round.

Another twist for Butch: He packs the gold watch himself, avoiding the drama in the pawn shop

branie2

Carry on Camping - After her bra pops off, Babs quickly retrieves it and puts it in before Matron takes her away.

paulbok

The 6th Sense.
Kid turns round to Bruce Willis and says;
"You see dead people, all the time."
He is the only one left alive in the world as the rest all died from turning vegan after a Leo Varadkar speech.

silverharp

silverharp wrote: »

Karate kid – plucky white kid moves to California only to be picked on by a gang of Latinos, is saved by an ageing Conor McGregor who teaches him MMA by pulling pints and grappling with drunks in his old Irish pub.

and how to pick up a single grain of coke with a chopstick.

Pherekydes

Titanic: Luxurious cruise liner steams full speed towards the north Atlantic ice pack on its maiden voyage, but the hypermodern nav system detects ice and re-routes the ship around it. It arrives in NY only 10 minutes late.

Nobody dies.

Except the kid who tried to get into his stateroom from the balcony next door.

And the 351 old people who got the winter vomiting bug.

branie2

United 93, the passengers and cabin crew get text-messages about the the World Trade Center attacks, spot the would-be hijackers and prevent them from entering the cockpit.

facehugger99

Bladerunner.

Set in 2019, the Replicants are easily recognizable and don't look remotely human. They have trouble navigating everyday obstacle such as stairs and doors and are quickly apprehended and destroyed.

branie2

The Blair Witch Project - the trio are discovered by a woodsman and are taken home.

branie2

branie2 wrote: »

United 93, the passengers and cabin crew get text-messages about the the World Trade Center attacks, spot the would-be hijackers and prevent them from entering the cockpit.

only if it was on whatsapp over wifi provided on the plane

would not get a mobile signal at cruising altitude for normal text messages