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What's the etiquette here??

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    #6422
    IAMAMORON
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,078 ✭✭✭IAMAMORON


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Are you up to your neck in cheap Eastern European lager, I?

    I can see you now sitting on the sofa, legs spread, watching Bullseye on Gold.

    Surrounded by cans, half of them filled with piss,and the grey trakkies soaked in cold piss and worked in Chicago Town pizzas.

    Large sepia coloured stain of loose midden dominating the the back of the sofa, which is called the ‘wow factor’.

    Sort yersel out, sahib.

    Excuse me sprinkle dick?

    I have never ever worn a grey tracksuit in my entire life, what do you think I am, some sort of feral skanger living off the M50?

    Different gravy over here monsieur Bendar, you would probably drive through town to save on the toll, skinflints like yourself could do with a douse a manners. I doubt you've washed your car since Easter? It probably smells like burnt turnip.

    I can see you teeing up on Saturday with a bag of Ultra's you bought in Arnott's at the sales last January. I would say ya sprayed the seat down there also?


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    #6423
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,057 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    IAMAMORON wrote: »
    Excuse me sprinkle dick?

    I have never ever worn a grey tracksuit in my entire life, what do you think I am, some sort of feral skanger living off the M50?

    Different gravy over here monsieur Bendar, you would probably drive through town to save on the toll, skinflints like yourself could do with a douse a manners. I doubt you've washed your car since Easter? It probably smells like burnt turnip.

    I can see you teeing up on Saturday with a bag of Ultra's you bought in Arnott's at the sales last January. I would say ya sprayed the seat down there also?

    I have no problem with being insulted but.....
    accusing someone of playing golf with ‘Ultras’ deserves a severe ban.

    Mods.... please take action on that serious insult

    I’m not a taxi driver, dude.


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    #6424
    IAMAMORON
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,078 ✭✭✭IAMAMORON


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    I have no problem with being insulted but.....
    accusing someone of playing golf with ‘Ultras’ deserves a severe ban.

    Mods.... please take action on that serious insult

    I’m not a taxi driver, dude.

    I would say your too cheap to fork out for a dozen Topflight xl's the way you are carrying on. No point squealing for the mods either.

    I would say you have your local Lidl drained dry of Excelsior? I can see you developing a pile of cans out the back garden that the gippos would be proud of. The neighbours are in tears at this stage, draggin the whole road down the swanny.


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    #6425
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    I have no problem with being insulted but.....
    accusing someone of playing golf with ‘Ultras’ deserves a severe ban.

    Mods.... please take action on that serious insult

    I’m not a taxi driver, dude.


    Heard you were banned from Kinsealy Driving Range for robbing range balls. Stored them in the gusset of your comfort fit Guiney's chinos.


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    #6426
    AdrianBalboa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 475 ✭✭AdrianBalboa


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Heard you were banned from Kinsealy Driving Range for robbing range balls. Stored them in the gusset of your comfort fit Guiney's chinos.

    That particular poster strikes me as someone who gets a new Octavia every year but keeps an slightly torn white St Bernard shopping bag from the 1980s filled with photos in the attic. Tries to come across as profligate but still too cheap to buy a photo album.


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    #6427
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,057 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    What the fuuuherke is this,.?

    Take a cut at the Brenner week or summit.?

    Never convicted of anything.....well if you discount a night in the cells in Chiswick, and an appearance in the Hyde Assizes, and a night in the Surry Hills lock up following an altercation outside the Stonewall in Darlinghurst.

    Fooherke off, kernts here wouldn’t be ashamed to announce a ‘Molitor3’ as their ball of choice on the 1st tee.

    Cretins.


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    #6428
    tjdaly
    Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭tjdaly


    We had a student lodger staying with us a few years ago from Spain. The cabbage and bacon seemed to play havok with his interiors and the poor lad could often be heard sprinting to the toilet on the upper floor at all hours of the night.

    Lots of acoustics: low pitched rumbles and honks, frail wavering sobs, grunting, anal splutterings and blasts from a trumpet, and long drawn out squeals like air excaping from a balloon.

    We'd put him on turnip and bacon the next day, then beef stew with pearl barley, and then back around to cabbage and bacon again. It's a wonder he got any studying done at all. The walls of the bathroom were flecked with chite when he left. Teeny tiny brown spots and granules all over the place. You filthy little prick pepe. And he had his eye on a lass in the summer school but he spent so much time on the pot I think they never consummated.


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    #6429
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Nothing like a massive feed of bacon, cabbage, mustard and floury spuds with a pint of milk. Far from causing a dose of the scuts, I’ve always found it leads to a lovely smooth turd the next day - like bunting out a length of shiny black turf.


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    #6430
    sligojoek
    Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Agreed, John. Lots of bulk. Gives the tubes a good exercising.


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    #6431
    Trouser Snake
    Closed Accounts Posts: 348 ✭✭Trouser Snake


    Bunting out bucket loads all day, the back door is shaking like an archer's arrow. If a trawler delivered what eels I eased out today they'd be moored half season.
    Not good, hope it's a 12 hour thing.


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    #6432
    AdrianBalboa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 475 ✭✭AdrianBalboa


    tjdaly wrote: »
    We had a student lodger staying with us a few years ago from Spain. The cabbage and bacon seemed to play havok with his interiors and the poor lad could often be heard sprinting to the toilet on the upper floor at all hours of the night.

    Lots of acoustics: low pitched rumbles and honks, frail wavering sobs, grunting, anal splutterings and blasts from a trumpet, and long drawn out squeals like air excaping from a balloon.

    We'd put him on turnip and bacon the next day, then beef stew with pearl barley, and then back around to cabbage and bacon again. It's a wonder he got any studying done at all. The walls of the bathroom were flecked with chite when he left. Teeny tiny brown spots and granules all over the place. You filthy little prick pepe. And he had his eye on a lass in the summer school but he spent so much time on the pot I think they never consummated.

    I had a similar problem when I went to the Gaeltacht years ago. Bacon and cabbage. Oven fries. Meat boiled to fossilisation. Ketchup. The kind of sludge my grandparents stopped eating in the 1950s.

    Unfortunately one of my bunk mates told the boy I fancied in the village who went on to coin the nickname “Clocha Beaga” for me. My therapist said I’ve held a grudge against men and the Irish language ever since which is bollocks.


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    #6433
    gerrybbadd
    Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Trouser Snake wrote: »
    Bunting out bucket loads all day, the back door is shaking like an archer's arrow. If a trawler delivered what eels I eased out today they'd be moored half season.
    Not good, hope it's a 12 hour thing.

    Username checks out


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    #6434
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,703 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    What the fuuuherke is this,.?

    Take a cut at the Brenner week or summit.?

    Never convicted of anything.....well if you discount a night in the cells in Chiswick, and an appearance in the Hyde Assizes, and a night in the Surry Hills lock up following an altercation outside the Stonewall in Darlinghurst.

    Fooherke off, kernts here wouldn’t be ashamed to announce a ‘Molitor3’ as their ball of choice on the 1st tee.

    Cretins.

    Quick adjustment of the elasticated waist on the chinos, a swig of Lucozade, grip the Wilson like a hurley and aim a mile left.

    Am I right?


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    #6435
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    padd b1975 wrote: »
    Quick adjustment of the elasticated waist on the chinos, a swig of Lucozade, grip the Wilson like a hurley and aim a mile left.

    Am I right?

    Probably releases a beefy queefer of a fart, and a flick away of the Benson before assuming his stance.

    Leaving the back of his Dunnes y-fronts like Kurt Cobain’s ceiling.

    Dirty bastard.


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    #6436
    Bullocks
    Registered Users Posts: 5,890 ✭✭✭Bullocks


    AdrianBalboa wrote: »
    I had a similar problem when I went to the Gaeltacht years ago. Bacon and cabbage. Oven fries. Meat boiled to fossilisation. Ketchup. The kind of sludge my grandparents stopped eating in the 1950s.

    Unfortunately one of my bunk mates told the boy I fancied in the village who went on to coin the nickname “Clocha Beaga” for me. My therapist said I’ve held a grudge against men and the Irish language ever since which is bollocks.

    Maybe you should revisit the Gaeltacht and drop a few "clóchaí móra" to help rid yourself of those grudges and save on visiting a therapist. There is a supermac's in spiddal and a Chinese in Carraroe now so you wouldn't be stuck for good eating this time.....


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    #6437
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    The fcnuking bang of dense dried in midden into sweaty corduroy trousers would surely prevent me from attending.

    Balding cnunts with comb overs, and stale spend would de rigeur.


    Not nice people...

    Jaysus Brennar .... speak for yourself eh ?
    I seem to remember meeting you at some conference years ago , mustard dirty chinos that were too short , odd socks and a greasy combover,
    Cracking dad jokes to women 20 years younger whilst knocking back cheap pilsner - occasionally wandering over to the bar to crop dust the place with rancid arse fog - fooling no one ....

    I believe you were kicked out for destroying two of the dunnies in the place - rumours were it sounded like a 2 gallon bucket of mackerel being dropped to a tiled floor from a height - you gave me a lift in your 1996 ford escort , bang of stale scallops and rotten turnips of the inside - empty plastic bottles of linden village littering The place - could barely sit.


    Tragic figure, but confident and happy at least ...


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    #6438
    AdrianBalboa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 475 ✭✭AdrianBalboa


    Bullocks wrote: »
    Maybe you should revisit the Gaeltacht and drop a few "clóchaí móra" to help rid yourself of those grudges and save on visiting a therapist. There is a supermac's in spiddal and a Chinese in Carraroe now so you wouldn't be stuck for good eating this time.....

    I might find a Chinese in the Gaeltacht but I won’t find much Irish!

    I have taken to putting flaxseed into my morning porridge of late and now wiping my arse after a ****e feels like cleaning up a melted ice cream from under a carseat. It’s not just voluminous but there’s virtually no structural integrity. Not good news for the bedroom!


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    #6439
    Bullocks
    Registered Users Posts: 5,890 ✭✭✭Bullocks


    AdrianBalboa wrote: »
    I might find a Chinese in the Gaeltacht but I won’t find much Irish!

    I have taken to putting flaxseed into my morning porridge of late and now wiping my arse after a ****e feels like cleaning up a melted ice cream from under a carseat. It’s not just voluminous but there’s virtually no structural integrity. Not good news for the bedroom!

    If himself gets a flax seed lodged in the japs eye your bedroom antics will certainly suffer. That flaxseed is a waste of time


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    #6440
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,527 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    fuerte1976 wrote: »
    Sounds like you need to visit the vet..

    By the sounds of it her fella will be “encountering” soldiers who still think the war is going on.

    The tide is turning…



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    #6441
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,057 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    Jaysus Brennar .... speak for yourself eh ?
    I seem to remember meeting you at some conference years ago , mustard dirty chinos that were too short , odd socks and a greasy combover,
    Cracking dad jokes to women 20 years younger whilst knocking back cheap pilsner - occasionally wandering over to the bar to crop dust the place with rancid arse fog - fooling no one ....

    I believe you were kicked out for destroying two of the dunnies in the place - rumours were it sounded like a 2 gallon bucket of mackerel being dropped to a tiled floor from a height - you gave me a lift in your 1996 ford escort , bang of stale scallops and rotten turnips of the inside - empty plastic bottles of linden village littering The place - could barely sit.


    Tragic figure, but confident and happy at least ...

    Jaysus... that’s that douche Parsnipp you described.

    Arse of the trousers stiff with dried in midden and a swarm of bluebottles circling like a cloud.

    Some of them spiraling to to ground overcome by fumes.


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    #6442
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Jaysus... that’s that douche Parsnipp you described.


    'The Nev' hasn't been spotted in a few weeks. Heard his car (Ford Orion 1988 - Chocolate Brown colour) has been parked outside the parochial house down in Kinvara. Must be 'cocooning' with Fr. Phelim 'Belter' Madden.


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    #6443
    Voodoomelon
    Registered Users Posts: 9,662 ✭✭✭Voodoomelon


    I laughed for 5 minutes solid reading the last page. Gold. :D


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    #6444
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,527 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Is she a Connie I wonder with a surname like that. Let's just say that J. Flash has had plenty of success with the women out that neck of the woods over the years.

    :cool:

    Are they the ones who say they’re “descended” from seals? Strange, dark, folk out that way. Think some of those Coneeleys took part in the Plantation of Meath.

    The tide is turning…



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    #6445
    IAMAMORON
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,078 ✭✭✭IAMAMORON


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Are they the ones who say they’re “descended” from seals? Strange, dark, folk out that way. Think some of those Coneeleys took part in the Plantation of Meath.

    Coons or Cooney's?

    I hear Dunshaughlin is rife?


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    #6446
    hurikane
    Registered Users Posts: 688 ✭✭✭hurikane


    Good thread getting ruined here.


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    #6447
    Hego Damask
    Registered Users Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Hego Damask


    Voodoomelon wrote: »
    I laughed for 5 minutes solid reading the last page. Gold. :D
    The quality has shot up allright!



    I love the jibing between posters !! :D:D:D ****ing hilarious, dying laughing here


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    #6448
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,904 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    AdrianBalboa wrote: »
    My husband never penetrates my anus

    He'd need a machete on the end of his member to get through that thicket.
    Anyone who’s ever had to clean ice cream off a baby’s face will know what I mean regarding the cleaning.

    Most people who have been in care of a baby have been much more worried about cleaning the other end.

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #6449
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,527 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Think I’ll have to drink a shot of vegetable, or sunflower, oil before bed. Rapeseed, if we have it.

    Have had two days now of, very dry, clay-like “deposits”. On the upside, there’s basically been one wipe, just to check.

    Two days of “magics” but they’ve been hard work. Fair amount of push required to get it all out. Thankfully, I’m getting the full “evac” too. If the cutter engaged a little too soon there’d be no getting the rest out.

    The oil should add some, much needed, lubrication. Not sure I can take another “dry heave”.

    The tide is turning…



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    #6450
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,904 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    It's been officially renamed "non-consensual seed" E. Just so you know.

    Plenty posters on the Motors forum who are into "claying" their cars, maybe you can help them out.

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #6451
    Trouser Snake
    Closed Accounts Posts: 348 ✭✭Trouser Snake


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Think I’ll have to drink a shot of vegetable, or sunflower, oil before bed. Rapeseed, if we have it.

    Have had two days now of, very dry, clay-like “deposits”. On the upside, there’s basically been one wipe, just to check.

    Two days of “magics” but they’ve been hard work. Fair amount of push required to get it all out. Thankfully, I’m getting the full “evac” too. If the cutter engaged a little too soon there’d be no getting the rest out.

    The oil should add some, much needed, lubrication. Not sure I can take another “dry heave”.

    Cod liver oil E, nothing bates it. The old man was a staunch beetroot man for the same reasons, never saw the evidence so couldn't comment.
    Mind you the ma would be up early the morning after serving such boiled beetroot, who says they don't know us best wha?

    After that, no good advice, nowt worse than a dehydrated ****e.


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