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21-01-2020, 20:05   #46
Sir Oxman
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21-01-2020, 20:09   #47
d15ude
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You've clearly never been to Germany, then.
What's that supposed to mean?
Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.
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21-01-2020, 20:13   #48
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I've been other places and of course people are rude everywhere, but it was a genuine question to Irish people, why do you think you might be rude? Don't you find other Irish people rude? Surely you do so I am curious why you think, Irish people are like this, socially and culturally. Btw, sorry to whomever writes "I find Irish people so friendly and they say hello and wave and do nice things" completely and utterly wrong this has never ever happened, not in 3 visits here and living here 6 months. Ever. Hence me writing here asking these questions.
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21-01-2020, 20:14   #49
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What's that supposed to mean?
Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.
I lived in Berlin for years and Berliners are like everyone else . Some eejits , some scum , some fools but mostly lovely warm and helpful people .
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21-01-2020, 20:14   #50
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What difference does it make?
I'm wondering what part of Utopia he left to come here. It's a reasonable request considering the trashing he has given our seeming hell-on-earth. Perhaps he can tell us how his own dreamland is so idyllic.
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21-01-2020, 20:14   #51
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I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.
OP, if your wife is Irish, have you not asked her why we are all so allegedly rude? Is she able to explain, or better, challenge your perceptions and experiences? Is she not annoyed or offended by your awful generalisation of an entire nation? Yes, people are possibly more self absorbed these days what with smartphones and social media addiction but what you say simply is not true both from an Irish person's experience and from what any of the many non nationals I work or know also say. Ireland is not perfect by a long shot but is generally friendly once people get to know you. We can't do artificially super friendly, confide our deepest secrets within 5 minutes of knowing you type engagement like Americans or some other races do but will be friendly in a slower more organic pace.

I sense some of what you are experiencing is possibly self inflicted? If you are expecting a 16 year old Spar sales assistant to be full of the joys of spring at 6am while she hands you your change or receipt, you are being unreasonable. If "everyone" is so rude, then I would think the common denominator (ie you) somehow is a contributory factor to what's going on here. I don't know, just speculating.

You mention potentially going into a depression over it. That is an extremely disproportionate reaction to such a situation. Outside of friends, relatives and possibly work colleagues you engage closely with, does it really matter if acquaintances or strangers aren't all super friendly or lovey dovey? Again that sends a red flag to what you or like or how you react which may cause people to engage accordingly.

Ask your wife to be absolutely upfront about how you are with people and also to explain Irish people better!
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21-01-2020, 20:17   #52
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Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?
Maybe it’s not “everyone else” that’s the problem ?
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21-01-2020, 20:18   #53
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I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.
I wouldn't put an animal in the midlands.
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21-01-2020, 20:21   #54
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As an Irish Dublin person I always notice that compared to many places J visit, Irish people so very often seem to be in a hurry, and make headway without much regard to anybody in their path. It can be difficult walking through Dublin with people banging into you all the time. The city centre tends to have a high density of people at any given moment, and this crowdedness brings out the worst in us. Coming up to Christmas or any Bank Holiday weekend, things can get plain crazy.

“Are you ok?” is a typical greeting by a shop assistant or reception staff. It sounds rude, offhand, as if you, the customer, are an inconvenience. I have to honest and admit I do often used that awful phrase in my line of work. Management seem to accept that, and indeed use it often themselves. It often annoys me to be treated like that, and I have pangs of guilt thinking at how offhand I was at times.
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21-01-2020, 20:22   #55
Alun
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What's that supposed to mean?
Germans (except Berliners maybe) are definitely friendlier than your average Dubliner.
If you read what I was replying to I was referring to staff in shops, not the population on general. I lived in Germany for 7 years, and shop staff there were the rudest, most unhelpful and generally miserable bunch I've ever come across, especially the older ones.
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21-01-2020, 20:25   #56
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Irish people are the most polite and friendly people I ever met. I agree they are not funny like any other non mediterranean white people. I also don't like the fact they are so americanized, and support England football team and English teams, and hate they own language and culture. I would like to know where the OP is from it must be a paradise place.
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21-01-2020, 20:26   #57
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OP, if your wife is Irish, have you not asked her why we are all so allegedly rude? Is she able to explain, or better, challenge your perceptions and experiences? Is she not annoyed or offended by your awful generalisation of an entire nation? Yes, people are possibly more self absorbed these days what with smartphones and social media addiction but what you say simply is not true both from an Irish person's experience and from what any of the many non nationals I work or know also say. Ireland is not perfect by a long shot but is generally friendly once people get to know you. We can't do artificially super friendly, confide our deepest secrets within 5 minutes of knowing you type engagement like Americans or some other races do but will be friendly in a slower more organic pace.

I sense some of what you are experiencing is possibly self inflicted? If you are expecting a 16 year old Spar sales assistant to be full of the joys of spring at 6am while she hands you your change or receipt, you are being unreasonable. If "everyone" is so rude, then I would think the common denominator (ie you) somehow is a contributory factor to what's going on here. I don't know, just speculating.

You mention potentially going into a depression over it. That is an extremely disproportionate reaction to such a situation. Outside of friends, relatives and possibly work colleagues you engage closely with, does it really matter if acquaintances or strangers aren't all super friendly or lovey dovey? Again that sends a red flag to what you or like or how you react which may cause people to engage accordingly.

Ask your wife to be absolutely upfront about how you are with people and also to explain Irish people better!
Thank you for your reply. Appreciate what you have written, of course i have asked my wife, over and over and spent time on this properly. If a place is depressive, and your experience is negative over and over and over again, you get depressed. You should know this but again this is defensive and not addressing my question.

Why is your society so rude? Generally speaking? Have any answers on this?

And I disagree, everyone I talk to does NOT have the delightful experience you are talking about again these people could have different opinions and you are not even aware of them.

My experience is above, I have a positive personality and positive friends and people in my life and my life experiences all over the world, but Ireland has broken my spirit with it's continual negativity and close-mindedness which you are reinforcing here.
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21-01-2020, 20:27   #58
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Originally Posted by New to Ireland View Post
I've been here 6 months now, I came across very excited about Ireland (obviously as my wife is Irish and I love her) and have been absolutely pummeled into the ground day after day after day with Irish 'hospitality' which is none. I've tried, over and over and meet the same brick wall of rudeness, ignorance, selfishness and close-mindedness. For your reference, I live in the midlands, commute by train every day to Dublin, worked across the country and have visited 25 of 32 counties already and listen to Irish affairs daily for any inside information into this culture I struggle with. I want to love ti for my wife, and am trying but people's rudeness over the months has put me into depression and I am trying to stay strong for my wife. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've lived in other places before.
That’s sad but unfortunately it’s our nature, pummelled into us after being oppressed for 800 years, huddling in groups and whispering our moans was/is still part of our way.My advice for you is either accept it and join in for your wife’s sake, or leave, each will take courage but it’s your choice.
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21-01-2020, 20:28   #59
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Irish people please give your opinion.

Things I have noticed as an outisider visiting and living in this country as a middle-class white, educated, middle-aged man, Irish are NOT friendly or funny despite an outdated reputation, everyone is selfish and in a rush, will take everything they can get, hate manners and social etiquette like hello, please and thank you, love English things more than their own Irish culture, think that WE are rude as nice, polite outsiders, have no accountability and love to whinge at the pub about everything (a reputation given to the English funny enough).

Please enlighten me, give me something, i have completely lost my love of this country and am now just beginning to hate it which I don't want.

Why does no one want to help anyone here, or have meaningful, progressive conversations? Why is hating on everyone, being angry and rude ok but then call anyone else who cares arrogant?
Visiting Ireland on a holiday and living in Ireland are two completely different things.

I know some Americans that loved visiting Ireland every year, when they retired they sold up in USA and moved here, within 6 months they were back in the States.

I lived in UK, London for many years and made the effort to settle in.

You mention in your Opening post that you are losing your love of this country, so you did like it at one stage, was that when you were visiting during a holiday?

Irish people in general compared to our European counterparts are friendly but you have to remember Irish people are very clannish, stick together, family is important. Irish people will have made friends since early childhood, school buddies and they keep that network throughout their life. They dont need to make new friends so are you expecting to be invited into your neighbours houses?

What does your Irish wife have to say about your feelings on Ireland, did you talk to her about it before opening up on Boards to release your discontentment.?

You cant make an entire generalisation that the whole country is rude as that's just not true.

Im polite and do my bit to be courteous and helpful everyday, gave up my seat on the DART this evening for a pregnant lady when other passengers did not budge.

I suspect you maybe American?
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21-01-2020, 20:30   #60
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Thank you for your reply. Appreciate what you have written, of course i have asked my wife, over and over and spent time on this properly. If a place is depressive, and your experience is negative over and over and over again, you get depressed. You should know this but again this is defensive and not addressing my question.

Why is your society so rude? Generally speaking? Have any answers on this?

And I disagree, everyone I talk to does NOT have the delightful experience you are talking about again these people could have different opinions and you are not even aware of them.

My experience is above, I have a positive personality and positive friends and people in my life and my life experiences all over the world, but Ireland has broken my spirit with it's continual negativity and close-mindedness which you are reinforcing here.
Ok, can you provide 3 specific examples (no need to give identifiable details obviously) of rudeness you encountered so we can help assess whether they were extremely, moderately, marginally or not rude at all? Just saying the nation is so rude or so unfriendly us too subjective.
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