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19-06-2013, 18:40   #1
BobTheNihilist
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Suicide and men.

SUICIDE IS A word with which in today’s Ireland we are all too familiar. There can be few people who don’t know, either directly or indirectly, someone who has taken their own life in recent years, and we are frequently reminded of its presence via the media. As tragic as this is in all cases, it is especially so when it concerns a young person, and unfortunately Ireland appears affected more than most countries in Europe.

http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/mens...48495-Jun2013/

I'm gonna come right out and say it - i have attempted suicide several times in the past. I had a chance to do it with a gun once, a .22 rifle, but I couldnt go thru with it for some reason. Maybe I should have.

How many more men in this country do we have to bury before there time?

We men are ****e at talking about feelings with each other or even or loved ones, if we have any. Other guys thing youre bent or a wuss or a pussy or something. Instead were recession casualties - we have no jobs and no future so we spiral into despair.



I found the Samartians helpful in the past. They're ok and it;s good to have an actual person on the end of a phone.
Im not gonna tell anyone what to do with there life. But I guarantee you there are men out there who feel like ending it all the time..Ive been one of those men in the past and for all I know will be again in the future.
I just feel overwhelmed sometimes.
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19-06-2013, 20:41   #2
ted1
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I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.

Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.

Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.

Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc

In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.
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19-06-2013, 20:47   #3
shamrock55
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Originally Posted by ted1 View Post
I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.

Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.

Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.

Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc

In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.
Obviously there are things going on in peoples lives that are that bad and for the life of them they cant see a way out its pure dispair and hard to understand if your own life is all rosey
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19-06-2013, 20:54   #4
weldoninhio
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Originally Posted by ted1 View Post
I think cancer is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.

Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.

Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.

Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc

In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.
I've changed a word in your original post. Do you think this is the same? It is because of attitudes like yours that more people don't talk about how they feel, and spiral and spiral until they don't see any option other than suicide.

I've been suicidal, i've tried to kill myself, i've sat here and gone through the options of hanging, walking in front of a train, slashing wrists, etc. Its not something you just decide one day. Its months and months of depression and feeling down. Feeling like no-one cares, like no-one understands, that you can't tell people you feel suicidal because they'll think your "selfish" and tell you to man up.

Depression is a disease, not a choice. And sometimes suicide/attempted suicide is a symptom. However extreme it may seem.
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19-06-2013, 20:54   #5
Mr.Fred
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"A permanent solution to a temporary problem." It's becoming all to common alright and I wouldn't call it the selfish way out. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to be so low and helpless that you think ending your life is the only option. It just highlights how little the goverment invests in mental health. Op when you're feeling that low always reach out to someone first everyone needs a hand at some point these days.
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19-06-2013, 21:00   #6
 
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Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.
What 'adventures' does Marie Fleming have yet to have?
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20-06-2013, 05:24   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ted1 View Post
I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.

Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.

Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.

Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc

In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.

I half love / half hate what your opinion is! On the one hand its great that you can't in any way fathom what its like or how it feels to be suicidal - not just suicidal but for the urge to be so strong to just not be here - that makes me a bit angry that someone like yourself can't empathise. But then again - if you have been there, and felt like that, its not something that you would wish someone could empathise with - you would spare your worst enemy that feeling. Its the worst thing to say to someone - get over it / could be worse/ pack a bag & travel a bit! If only it were that easy!

Suicide is not for cowards - and it not selfish - for something to be selfish, one has to benefit - it just is what it is, a person so deeply unhappy/disconnected that they choose to not be here any longer.

I'm glad the OP had the opportunity & didn't go through with it - for reasons it sounds like he doesn't even understand - but dude, there is a reason - if you were meant to go then you would have. But obviously you still have alot to learn from this planet. I hope you will one day soon get to the place where you think & feel that all your suffering has meant something because you have a deeper appreciation for life... you can pm me if you want? I've been there... don't ever want to be back there... but sometimes you have no choice.
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20-06-2013, 05:36   #8
BerryBlue
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Originally Posted by Mr.Fred View Post
"A permanent solution to a temporary problem." It's becoming all to common alright and I wouldn't call it the selfish way out. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to be so low and helpless that you think ending your life is the only option. It just highlights how little the goverment invests in mental health. Op when you're feeling that low always reach out to someone first everyone needs a hand at some point these days.
I'm sorry, this will ruffle a few feathers because its become such a popular saying - 'a permanent solution to a temporary problem' - I HATE this! Depression and being no longer able to bear it, is not 'temporary' - how long IS temporary? a week/month/ year - how about 5/10/15/20 years? - If you are 1/2/3/4/5 years suffering in excruciating depression - is that 'temporary' ? I love discussions on mental health/depression - but there are so many nonsensical sayings thrown about by people who don't know how it feels to be in that place where 'not being' is FAR more preferable to being.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion - you have yours, I have mine - yet can you truly have such a vehement opinion on something you have never experienced yourself? Think about it....
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20-06-2013, 05:37   #9
sheikhnguyen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ted1 View Post
I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.

Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.

Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.

Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc

In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.

A word to the wise, it's better to keep your mouth shut if you have no idea what you are talking about.
The overwhelming majority of people who commit suicide don't do it to escape debt or something else trivial. They do it because they are very very ill.
Your ignorance is only surpassed by the banality of your suggested "cures".

OP - hang in there, hopefully you'll find your balance. just keep talking!

Last edited by sheikhnguyen; 20-06-2013 at 05:41.
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20-06-2013, 08:08   #10
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My opinion is of personal experience of having to pick up the pieces afterwards and watching close friends and family deal with the aftermath.
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20-06-2013, 08:23   #11
sheikhnguyen
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My opinion is of personal experience of having to pick up the pieces afterwards and watching close friends and family deal with the aftermath.
mine too. that makes it even less excusable.
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20-06-2013, 09:22   #12
taxAHcruel
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I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.
An unhelpful comment made from a pedestal of privilege alas. It is so easy for the mentally and physically healthy to make such a comment without really understanding some of the depths things can go to for some people.

Medical depression for example can lead people to a position so low that it strips away all the atrributes you have to make you privileged enough to be that judgemental.

For such people it has nothing at all to do with cowardice but quite simply the inability to face anything at all. You reach points so low that bravery or cowardice simply are not factors that come into the decision at all.

Still others reach a point in their life - such as someone I personally know who chose suicide - where they have been diagnosed with something that promises nothing but a very shortned life of pain and loss of all dignity - to the point where ones life will become nothing but a burden upon others as they will be forced to run around after them - clean up the messes caused by their own specific loses of human dignity - and much worse. Such people see suicide not only as the right option for them themselves - but as the best choice for those around them too.

So your position declaring that "Nothing in life is that bad" is really a position based on a failure of knowledge or even imagination on just how bad it gets for some people. Certainly sweeping ones hand across the table and dismissing the entire subject as "cowardice" is as unhelpful as it is false.

In fact it is even dangerous - murderously so - in that - as another user pointed out - deriding such people having such feelings is one of the reasons why they feel unable to seek assistence and solace in others. It makes them feel like everything is somehow a failing on their part and this in turn feeds back into the depressions and despairs they already feel. Rather we should point out the fact that this is not uncommon - there is nothing wrong with it - and people with those feelings should be happy and willing to come forward openly with them.

That said I am all for our society doing it's absolute best to ensure that people reaching such positions ARE aware of their other options and ARE helped when they reach points so low that they see no other way out. Awareness needs to be raised on many issues from many angles in and around the subject of suicide as it has been but a lot more too.

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My opinion is of personal experience of having to pick up the pieces afterwards and watching close friends and family deal with the aftermath.
Yes because there is nothing wiser in this world than to extrapolate a vast generalisation off the back of a single personal anecdote.
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20-06-2013, 09:29   #13
Crooked Jack
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Originally Posted by ted1 View Post
I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.

Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.

Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.

Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc

In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.
Yeah, why not just buy a motorbike. They're going two a penny. I mean, if your financial situation is so bad that you're thinking about suicide, what on earth is stopping you from buying a motor bike and taking a merry wee jaunt to Russia or Asia. Why not buy a rocket powered, solid gold motorbike that can drive on water and save yourself the expense of a flight.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's akin to saying "why be depressed because your legs have been amputated, just grow new ones."
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20-06-2013, 09:42   #14
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OP, as suggested above, hang in there and keep talking. There are more and more people that you can get in contact with such as Pieta House, http://www.pieta.ie/ they have offices all over the place. Chin up and in the words of a very wise man "Don't let the bastards get you down.
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20-06-2013, 09:58   #15
eviltwin
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I think sucide is the cowards way out, and no thought is giving to the mess it'll leave behind.



Nothing in life is that bad, that you need to end life, there's so many adventurers that have yet to be bad.



Why kill yourself over work , a girl , a debt etc.



Why not just buy a motorbike and back pack your way through Russia, Asia etc



In a few weeks all your problems wil feel a million life times ago.

If only it were that easy. Depression is a mental illness. I've attempted suicide despite seeing the impact my cousin's suicide had on his family. You aren't logical when your depressed, your thinking is all warped, you become paranoid, you actually believe your not being here is better for everyone. You just can't deal with it or get over it as is often suggested, it takes a lot of time, patience, support and medical intervention.

Your comments probably reflect what a lot of people think but its not helpful and can be counterproductive.
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