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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389
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Ha I had a similar experience.
It's possible she was expecting you to ask her out and she took it as you not being interested.
The guessing game about what people are silently expecting and reacting to is endlessly frustrating. I find it very difficult to get to the point where I'd feel comfortable meeting someone.
Its head melting really
"Hey I really hate it when people send me messages and then blank me don't you"
"Yes I really hate that too"
*blank*
aaaaargh
I did then message her saying I would be up for meeting for coffee if she is but I also said in the same message I would understand if she is not comfortable doing so yet and would rather chat more.
I can't tell if shes pissed I didnt instantly ask her out, or just finds the idea of meeting soon uncomfortable.
Bah all I can do is try to be nice and honest in my messages but this online stuff really has a way of making you feel like some freak of nature. Women can be so hard to read at the best of times, never mind through Internet messaging
I'd much prefer it if women just bluntly told me why they suddenly didnt wanna talk to me anymore, at least I know and learn.
Ah well, tis really seeming that just like every other aspect of coupling in Irish society..the introverted male has no hope. I can only imagine the kinda guys messaging these girls that they'd be comparing me too.
sigh.
There is a very attractive girl I would consider out of my league messaging me, who only replies every 3-4 days. (i find this odd) Starting to wonder if this is a 'keep my replies in the yellow/green' situation as some poster mentioned earlier. 0 -
Thanks Discodog, I havent signed up to POF yet, but from reading on here I realise Im going to need ALOT of patience!
SOconfusing - I wouldn't write someone off because you dont get a message everyday. I was on another dating website a couple of months ago and I never thought it'd be so time consuming. I gave it up cos I didnt have time to be online every night writing messages/searching profiles. Though I have decided to make more of an effort this time.
Also dont dwell on the "out of her league" thing, surely she wouldnt be messaging you if she wasn't interested? But then maybe I'm too sensible to understand games!0 -
In other words I was agreeing with you that you can't get a date because people assume that you look too good to be true.
This dating lark would be so much easier if men & women spoke the same language
And I said I need new pics - I meant uglier ones but I was trying to be modest!!
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Dravokivich wrote: »
Oh I had actually been referring to one of my OTHER dates from last night.
Well, this is awkward.
:P0 -
And I said I need new pics - I meant uglier ones but I was trying to be modest!!
That's quite a good idea. Test the men out & see if they want you just for your looksBusy Lizzie wrote: »Also dont dwell on the "out of her league" thing, surely she wouldnt be messaging you if she wasn't interested? But then maybe I'm too sensible to understand games!
There definitely are a lot of games being played but one can never make assumptions. I know a couple that have been together for over 20 years. When they met he was 48 & she was 17 ! She is still blonde & glamorous & he is even fatter & balder. And before any one makes the obvious assumption - he wasn't wealthy & still isn't ! 0 -
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Haha
I was on another site a while ago, and I had my profile written to try and attract people to contact me. Im about to join POF, but I think I'll copy what Larianne did and hide my profile to try avoid all the messers. This way though I'll be making all of the initial contact. Any hints on what I should include to get a reply?! Obv I'll have to include what Im interested in, but I dont want it to look like Im sending out my CV!!
Even as I write this Im thinking, sure if everyone knew what makes someone reply we'd all be out on dates every night....but someone might have some guidelines for me! 0 -
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ChannelNo5 wrote: »Ah live a little Discodog! There are stranger places to kiss a girl!!
Like in a bush :P. Mind you they say that one in the hand is worth two in the bush 0 -
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ChannelNo5 wrote: »Ooh Err!! Easy Tiger!!
Tiger ? I don't roar, I don't scratch & I don't bite ..........but I might nibble :P
Anyway I thought that a sophisticated rock chick could tame a Tiger or at least take one by the tail :pac:0 -
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SOconfusing wrote: »Its head melting really
"Hey I really hate it when people send me messages and then blank me don't you"
"Yes I really hate that too"
*blank*
aaaaargh
I did then message her saying I would be up for meeting for coffee if she is but I also said in the same message I would understand if she is not comfortable doing so yet and would rather chat more.
I can't tell if shes pissed I didnt instantly ask her out, or just finds the idea of meeting soon uncomfortable.
Bah all I can do is try to be nice and honest in my messages but this online stuff really has a way of making you feel like some freak of nature. Women can be so hard to read at the best of times, never mind through Internet messaging
I'd much prefer it if women just bluntly told me why they suddenly didnt wanna talk to me anymore, at least I know and learn.
Ah well, tis really seeming that just like every other aspect of coupling in Irish society..the introverted male has no hope. I can only imagine the kinda guys messaging these girls that they'd be comparing me too.
sigh.
There is a very attractive girl I would consider out of my league messaging me, who only replies every 3-4 days. (i find this odd) Starting to wonder if this is a 'keep my replies in the yellow/green' situation as some poster mentioned earlier.
ha sounds familar, does the name start with an A?0 -
Busy Lizzie wrote: »
SOconfusing - I wouldn't write someone off because you dont get a message everyday. I was on another dating website a couple of months ago and I never thought it'd be so time consuming. I gave it up cos I didnt have time to be online every night writing messages/searching profiles. Though I have decided to make more of an effort this time.
Also dont dwell on the "out of her league" thing, surely she wouldnt be messaging you if she wasn't interested? But then maybe I'm too sensible to understand games!
Well its that she replied everytime bar up until she stated how she hates when people stop replying. Its been a few days at this stage and shes been online and on my profile since...
I obviously just said something wrong some how
Thanks though
Time consuming? Wow the female and male experience is so different. Very hard time finding someone who wants to even chat. Versus not having the time to reply to all the messages....
And they say its a mans world 0 -
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@ JimBob777
Well no, the "I hate when people chat then stop replying" girl's name does not begin with A.
But the out of my league, (I say this mainly cause she's taller than me) replies every 3-4 days girls user name does.... 0 -
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Soconfusing wrote: »@ JimBob777
Well no, the "I hate when people chat then stop replying" girl's name does not begin with A.
But the out of my league, (I say this mainly cause she's taller than me) replies every 3-4 days girls user name does....
i only asked cos i guessed you were on OkCupid and this beautiful girl only replys every 3 days or so to me too ha..taught maybe coincidence 0 -
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Join Date:Posts: 28684
It ain't working for me! "Hotlinking disabled."
I know I've nothing to lose really. Just building up the courage to make first contact is all. 0 -
Insect Overlord wrote: »It ain't working for me! "Hotlinking disabled."
I know I've nothing to lose really. Just building up the courage to make first contact is all.
FFS do it already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:
:pac:0 -
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Chatting to a girl for a short while tonight, said I'd send a pic (she didn't ask for one) and said she'd "reciprocate depending on my dazzling good looks " in a jokey way so not bitchy like that sounds :P Please write back! :P
Cool, she complimented me and said she'd sent a pic if my joke was good, as I asked her did she wanna hear a joke.
:P0 -
Soconfusing wrote: »@ JimBob777
Well no, the "I hate when people chat then stop replying" girl's name does not begin with A.
But the out of my league, (I say this mainly cause she's taller than me) replies every 3-4 days girls user name does....
Why would a woman be out of your league because she is taller than you?0 -
Galwayguy35 wrote: »Why would a woman be out of your league because she is taller than you?
As a bit of a short arse myself most women want tall men or at very least taller than them 0 -
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