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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

1…34689…200

Comments

  • #252
    Gerinspain
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭Gerinspain


    wallywhittle wrote: »
    Walk on my face will ya.‬

    I'm going to add this to my arsenal of sayings from Facebook along with Telpis :)


  • #253
    glued
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,446 ✭✭✭glued


    User #1 - "wat a sad state diz cuntry is in. my fellaz bike waz stolen frm d gaf last ni. he only got it last week nd al. Diz place use t be gr8 bt kidz now dnt av any respeckt for any1"

    User #2 - "Ah god what a disgarce dis place is. Noone is safe now"

    User #3 - "Is da d bike him and micko took from d college?"

    User #1 - "No dts gone ages ya mad thing"

    User #3 - "Fair enuf so. theaven scumbags. nothin is safe nemore"


  • #254
    No_Comply
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭No_Comply


    glued wrote: »
    User #1 - "wat a sad state diz cuntry is in. my fellaz bike waz stolen frm d gaf last ni. he only got it last week nd al. Diz place use t be gr8 bt kidz now dnt av any respeckt for any1"

    User #2 - "Ah god what a disgarce dis place is. Noone is safe now"

    User #3 - "Is da d bike him and micko took from d college?"

    User #1 - "No dts gone ages ya mad thing"

    User #3 - "Fair enuf so. theaven scumbags. nothin is safe nemore"


    They have a point. Nothing is safe. Not even the English language.


  • #255
    bur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,689 ✭✭✭bur


    wallywhittle wrote: »
    See u [insert name] ya dirty whore. Who do u think u are atal to go round talking about me givin me scandal callin me whores up around bunclody and every other town ur feekin everyone!! Walk on my face will ya. Dirty soft girl jealous fat burnt barqueued bastard. Burning your own self and blamin it on an innocent boy lookin for money. Hungry money grabbing bastard. Taken money of a sick boy who genuine not well. d filthy whore got caught feekin a 60year old married man travelling man dat sells furniture wannabe never will be. Bringin on married men for weeks blackmailing them for money not to tell der wife's! Ya rat bastard you can do what ya like to people and the minute someone says boo to u ya runs to the gaurds. Text men who have girlfriends and children callin der girlfriends tramps your the tramp with ur big hairy swampy goul. Ur all burnt out love dat ya hvata go with insert name a 16year old child dat don't know any better cuz nobody else wud have ya. Threatnin children must think someone afraid of u ya wake ferrite. Lyin around your house butt naked not even a sock on infront of a loads young fellas with ur bad burnt leg on display dat u done to urself yock!! In the back of vans and cars just lying there letting them all have Der way with ya u dirty bitch. I know a lot more than u think now and il keep goin now if u dnt stop ya big fishy flaps cuM bucket!! Around since ur 12 Nd 13 sellin urself knows dat for a fact aswell ya smelly prostitue nobody wants ya u Lonley dirty jealous whore dnt flatter urself to think any girl or boy or man or woman likes ya ‪#‎ScabbyBabby‬ ‪#‎burntout‬ ‪#‎walkingSTI‬ ‪#‎barbequed‬

    This reads like one of them traveller videos where they call each other out. "**** in a bucket" But the grammar is too good for it to be that.


  • #256
    Omackeral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    skittles8710 wrote: »
    "Boys update their status, Real men have status"

    Gotta love the cryptic cries for attention.

    Well he must be a boy, what with it being a status update and all. Sorry I mean 'anal'


  • #257
    skittles8710
    Registered Users Posts: 653 ✭✭✭skittles8710


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Well he must be a boy, what with it being a status update and all. Sorry I mean 'anal'

    It's a she...I'm guessing she's tryna "burn" an ex of hers.


  • #258
    Chris Martin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,277 ✭✭✭Chris Martin


    wallywhittle wrote: »
    ur big hairy swampy goul.‬
    I'm still laughing... :P
    It's a beautiful piece of writing. :D


  • #259
    lizzyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 704 ✭✭✭lizzyman


    coolhull wrote: »
    U worry 2 much, hon

    Hope ur ok hun xx pm me


  • #260
    coolhull
    Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    ''Luk wot my lil angle prodused today, 1st tyme in big gurl's potty''

    Complete with photo, in glorious Technicolour, of what her 'lil angle' managed to to 'produse'

    She got lots of 'likes' and comments like ''Dats so kewt'' and ''dare'll be no stoppin her now''

    Straightaway unfriended, obviously


  • #261
    lizzyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 704 ✭✭✭lizzyman


    coolhull wrote: »
    ''Luk wot my lil angle prodused today, 1st tyme in big gurl's potty''

    Complete with photo, in glorious Technicolour, of what her 'lil angle' managed to to 'produse'

    She got lots of 'likes' and comments like ''Dats so kewt'' and ''dare'll be no stoppin her now''

    Straightaway unfriended, obviously

    Collect your award first thing Monday morning at Boards HQ. You just won the internet.


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  • #262
    No_Comply
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭No_Comply


    coolhull wrote: »
    tyme

    Why?! Ffs why!?


  • #263
    Detached Retina
    Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭Detached Retina


    lizzyman wrote: »
    "hav a gud 1" in general makes me shudder.

    Always translates to me as "have a good poo".


  • #264
    Detached Retina
    Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭Detached Retina


    Rosie Rant wrote: »
    Ugh. Someone shared this today.
    https://m.facebook.com/home.php?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ie%2Fsearch&refid=8&_rdr#!/JordanJansenMusic/photos/a.10150383755079588.374852.233745389587/10152667935104588/?type=1&source=48

    Cue lots of people commenting "Hello" underneath. Just waiting for the "Hiya hun, luvz ya" posts. It's not as bad as some of the stuff on here, but it is annoying. And I'm so f*cking sick of minions!!

    Oh if I see that again on my news feed again I'll go postal. There's a bunch of those minion quotes. Much as I/my kids think they're cute and funny (in film) - the posts are not:mad:


  • #265
    Rosie Rant
    Registered Users Posts: 1,071 ✭✭✭Rosie Rant


    Oh good Lord, the quotes! I recently had a big un-following session because these things were the scourge of my news feed. Everyone was sharing them. I "liked" a few when they first started showing up - but these would have been genuine quotes from people actually worth quoting, like Oscar Wylde and William Shakespeare. Now, we get things like I Used To Be Fat But Now I'm Flat Quotes and I'm Passive Aggressively Attacking You Cause I'm A Chickensh*t Quotes, I'm A Smug C*unt Quotes and Stupid Meaningless Shallow Advice Quotes (well, close enough anyway). After my un-following session, my news feed actually froze for weeks, nothing was happening. So I re-followed everybody except for 2 women who share an "inspirational" quote several times an hour (no exaggeration). I don't know whether I want to ignore the quote pictures everyone else is posting until the trend dies out or to just delete my Facebook account altogether.


  • #266
    fussyonion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,821 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    Being scourged by a newly pregnant friend on FB who has taken the typical pregnant FB person's lead by posting every fking minute of her pregnancy.

    "Scan Monday find out boy or girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    "Anyone know where I can get maternity jeans???"
    "Craving crisps SOOOOO badly right now my god"
    "Anyone know where I can get a decent pram?"
    "Feet up, baby happy."
    "Legs are killing me. Being pregnant is tiring."

    I'm sorry to say these posts were all posted within a 24-hour period.
    You can see why I'm annoyed.


  • #267
    Phil Mitchell
    Registered Users Posts: 80 ✭✭Phil Mitchell


    fussyonion wrote: »
    Being scourged by a newly pregnant friend on FB who has taken the typical pregnant FB person's lead by posting every fking minute of her pregnancy.

    "Scan Monday find out boy or girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    "Anyone know where I can get maternity jeans???"
    "Craving crisps SOOOOO badly right now my god"
    "Anyone know where I can get a decent pram?"
    "Feet up, baby happy."
    "Legs are killing me. Being pregnant is tiring."

    I'm sorry to say these posts were all posted within a 24-hour period.
    You can see why I'm annoyed.

    Hide her now. She's going to be one of those where you will eventually start to think, "Am I friends with her or her child?"


  • #268
    Grayson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,316 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Phil Mitchell wrote: »
    Hide her now. She's going to be one of those where you will eventually start to think, "Am I friends with her or her child?"

    500 photo's a day of the child.


  • #269
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Grayson wrote: »
    500 photo's a day of the child.

    Worse.

    When the kid is awful looking. Have a friend who does it, kid looks like Ralph Wiggum.


  • #270
    skittles8710
    Registered Users Posts: 653 ✭✭✭skittles8710


    A friend of mine who seems to be obsessed with child abduction shared this post.. It's from 2013 she needs to let this one go I'd say!


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  • #271
    LynnGrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭LynnGrace


    coolhull wrote: »
    ''Luk wot my lil angle prodused today, 1st tyme in big gurl's potty''

    Complete with photo, in glorious Technicolour, of what her 'lil angle' managed to to 'produse'

    She got lots of 'likes' and comments like ''Dats so kewt'' and ''dare'll be no stoppin her now''

    Straightaway unfriended, obviously

    For the sake of the thread coolhull, you must remain friends with lil angle's proud parent :pac:

    'Dare'll be no stoppin her now'... Poor angle :eek: :D


  • #272
    yellowlabrador
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭yellowlabrador


    it's's child abduction season on fb. I'm getting so many warnings.
    Here's the latest, beware of visiting legoland.... funny how this wasn't in the news


  • #273
    bjork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,554 ✭✭✭bjork


    yellowlabrador wrote: »
    it's's child abduction season on fb. I'm getting so many warnings.
    Here's the latest, beware of visiting legoland.... funny how this wasn't in the news

    Shaved botak?



    I'm not sure I want to know


  • #274
    Ice Storm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 938 ✭✭✭Ice Storm


    bjork wrote: »
    Shaved botak?



    I'm not sure I want to know
    So I was intrigued, and googled "shaved botak".

    It seems that this hoax originated in Malaysia in January 2014. Apparently "botak" is the Malay word for "bald"! Legoland Malaysia refuted the rumours at the time.


  • #275
    Un Croissant
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,052 ✭✭✭Un Croissant


    I'm getting warnings hackers sharing porn through my account. sigh....

    And this gem..
    Voting is just a low level puppet show to make us think we elect our rulers.
    All politicians are members of the same groups. The institute of international afairs etc etc. All on board with globalist agenda all under the crown.


  • #276
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    skittles8710 wrote: »
    A friend of mine who seems to be obsessed with child abduction shared this post.. It's from 2013 she needs to let this one go I'd say!

    It's Pascal Donohue?1?


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  • #277
    Sittingpretty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    coolhull wrote: »
    ''Luk wot my lil angle prodused today, 1st tyme in big gurl's potty''

    Complete with photo, in glorious Technicolour, of what her 'lil angle' managed to to 'produse'

    She got lots of 'likes' and comments like ''Dats so kewt'' and ''dare'll be no stoppin her now''

    Straightaway unfriended, obviously

    Appalling. Appallingly appalling.


  • #278
    eternal
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    This made me laugh, it's so ridiculous.


  • #279
    LynnGrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭LynnGrace


    yellowlabrador wrote: »
    it's's child abduction season on fb. I'm getting so many warnings.
    Here's the latest, beware of visiting legoland.... funny how this wasn't in the news

    That particular one gets retold with minor variations every so often.
    I saw it on a UK website last year, and the person who posted it...(of course, it happened in a shopping centre which was put into lockdown, and the child was found, boy dressed as girl, or vice versa)...could not be convinced that it's a tale that just goes the rounds.


  • #280
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    Un Croissant wrote: »
    I'm getting warnings hackers sharing porn through my account. sigh....

    And this gem..
    Voting is just a low level puppet show to make us think we elect our rulers.
    All politicians are members of the same groups. The institute of international afairs etc etc. All on board with globalist agenda all under the crown.

    Did no one tell them Russel Brand changed his mind, its ok to vote again.


  • #281
    bjork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,554 ✭✭✭bjork


    Guy:Incognito wrote: »
    Did no one tell them Russel Brand changed his mind, its ok to vote again.

    Keep up, He changed his mind after it again.


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  • #282
    cruais
    Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭cruais


    3cm gone. Off to the labour ward now can't wait to meet the little angle now


  • #283
    Lisha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,695 ✭✭✭Lisha


    cruais wrote: »
    3cm gone. Off to the labour ward now can't wait to meet the little angle now

    Why oh why did I read that just as I was finishing my sandwich:(


  • #284
    danoriordan1402
    Registered Users Posts: 701 ✭✭✭danoriordan1402


    "Does ne1 no wer i cud hire ninja turtles for a party hav a lil boy askn for dem to b at his birthday party smile emoticon"

    I wonder if this person knows that are a fictional team of four teenage anthropomorphic turtles, named after four Renaissance artists, who were trained by their anthropomorphic rat sensei in the art of ninjutsu...


  • #285
    LynnGrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭LynnGrace


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Worse.

    When the kid is awful looking. Have a friend who does it, kid looks like Ralph Wiggum.

    I had to look up Ralph Wiggum, and now I can't stop laughing. :o:D


  • #286
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    Joe Lycett was on 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown on Friday talking about the 'inspirational' quotes you see on Instagram, and it applies to FB too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZULNI4SPGEE


  • #287
    wattlebird
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭wattlebird


    Just "defriended" an acquaintance there whose facebook presence has truly and utterly gone to the dogs. Her profile was like some kind of car-crash amalgamation of every single annoyance in this thread. :eek: Vague statuses, inspirational quotes, insufferable grammar, the works.

    But the thing I hadn't seen before and that really made me go "WTF" was the selfies... Yes everyone uploads them to fish for likes, but she goes one step further - mere likes aren't enough for her... First of all she tags family members, friends and what are presumably potential suitors in the pics just on the off-chance that they hadn't acknowledged it the first time it popped up on newsfeed. Then if they STILL haven't given her the attention she's so desperate for, she tags them again in the comments; something like "_______ wat do u think? :) x". It beggars belief. And this girl has two children. What an absolute pile of sh*te :confused:


  • #288
    PandaPoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,977 ✭✭✭PandaPoo


    Can everyone please b careful out there a guy called to my door today and startes askn nt 16 year old daughter all kinds of?? £ he then asjed her if her dad was ere she said no and ge said good good asjed if he cld come in to talk to she said no as he walked away he turned bk and looked at her and said ok a man will b bk later he sayn hes with social no id ntn driven big silver car foreign. Man guards ave bn notifyed. So b careful cause smtn very strabge abt the??? He asked hes up to no good


  • #289
    Kovu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,241 ✭✭✭✭Kovu


    Release the man guards!!! :D:D


  • #290
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    telpis


  • #291
    spud82
    Registered Users Posts: 654 ✭✭✭spud82


    My ****ing blood is boiling my fabliss girl is 2 today she is a gorgus princess couldn't ask for better nd not even a happy birthday off her own father not one word from him since I popped her out in da hospital. Telpis Ill be here fadder too, lads, god help any fellah in a few years, ill knock them out when he ask her out. LOL happy birthday pricness


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  • #292
    MonkstownHoop
    Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭MonkstownHoop


    spud82 wrote: »
    My ****ing blood is boiling my fabliss girl is 2 today she is a gorgus princess couldn't ask for better nd not even a happy birthday off her own father not one word from him since I popped her out in da hospital. Telpis Ill be here fadder too, lads, god help any fellah in a few years, ill knock them out when he ask her out. LOL happy birthday pricness

    So she'll be getting asked out when she's 4 or 5?


  • #293
    brandnewaward
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭brandnewaward


    Telpis Ill be here fadder ..................telpis


  • #294
    lizzyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 704 ✭✭✭lizzyman


    spud82 wrote: »
    My ****ing blood is boiling my fabliss girl is 2 today she is a gorgus princess couldn't ask for better nd not even a happy birthday off her own father not one word from him since I popped her out in da hospital. Telpis Ill be here fadder too, lads, god help any fellah in a few years, ill knock them out when he ask her out. LOL happy birthday pricness

    They're allowing these people to reproduce now?


  • #295
    Generic Dreadhead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,870 ✭✭✭✭Generic Dreadhead


    PandaPoo wrote: »
    Can everyone please b careful out there a guy called to my door today and startes askn nt 16 year old daughter all kinds of?? £ he then asjed her if her dad was ere she said no and ge said good good asjed if he cld come in to talk to she said no as he walked away he turned bk and looked at her and said ok a man will b bk later he sayn hes with social no id ntn driven big silver car foreign. Man guards ave bn notifyed. So b careful cause smtn very strabge abt the??? He asked hes up to no good

    The typing in this status actually gets worse, was half expecting it to just tail out into "szzfcggvhgdf rejnger;jog riggreoijrge iojnbgroernao" kind of ham-fisted key bashing eventually :D


  • #296
    Rubberlegs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,073 ✭✭✭Rubberlegs


    Seven months gone, two to go, it's going far too quickly for my liking but I can't wait to meet our little prawn. #hellolittleprawn #daddywantstomeetyou

    A cousin of mine was tagged in this. I want to claw my eyes out. Little prawn? WTF ??


    ^^^
    This is a post I made in the last thread. Exciting update !! "Our little prawn"was born this morning, "after 21 hours labour, no pain relief not even gas and air, so proud of myself #SHEHULKREIGNS". Words fail me .....


  • #297
    kitten_k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,186 ✭✭✭kitten_k


    Thanks for the update, was very worried about little prawn


  • #298
    lizzyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 704 ✭✭✭lizzyman


    Slightly off topic but I was having a nice pub lunch earlier and listening to some kid telling the bar staff about all the money he made for his confirmation last week. I nearly fell off my chair when they asked him his name.

    "Romeo"


    Would love to see the kind of quality facebooking that family has going on.


  • #299
    fussyonion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,821 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    Fresh from Facebook!

    "Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

    Cannot compute.


  • #300
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    That's just a series of random letters.


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  • #301
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    fussyonion wrote: »
    Fresh from Facebook!

    "Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

    Cannot compute.

    'Lads, what is wrong with him[?] Trying to say I took his phone when there was loads [of people] in the gaff. [He's] just saying it to us because we're girls and [he] hasn't got it in him to say it to the fellows'?

    Am I close?


This discussion has been closed.
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