Anyone else enjoy being single?

Stacksofwacks · 03-04-2019 1:07pm

Tucker Hot Bell wrote: »

It's a crap law to be fair though. I do agree that men get the raw end of the deal - especially if their ex is an unreasonable person. It's the using it as a stick to beat all women with that I object to.

Well its the same in most western countries afaik. Ironically, these laws were devised by men to protect women but are based on the sexist premise that a woman should always be entitled to the kids and assets because the man would be out working and the woman would be unable to look after her kids otherwise. It needs looking at again in light of the modern world where there is more women in the workforce

RWCNT · 03-04-2019 1:08pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

When I broke up with my vile and contemptible ex-wife I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed the single life. It was like taking off a pair of shoes that were two sizes too small - that freedom. In the pub most Friday and Saturday nights, sinking the pints, up to me conkers in clunge most weekends. My ideal relationship started around 2.30am in the morning, and finished the next morning by 11.30 at the latest. I suppose it helps that I'm relatively attractive for my age, and extremely outgoing almost to the point of arrogance. Chicks tend to like me.

I think I'm looking for something a bit more permanent at this stage. My preference is for birds in their mid to late 30's, maybe 41 to 42 max. But that's a dangerous game to be playing, as the biological alarm clock is very loud in most of them. I'm 54 and the thoughts of becoming a father again fill me with horror - 2 of the bastards is more than enough. Might get the snip just to be sure.

Do there be a lot of single mid-late 30s/early 40s women out for the ride on a given weekend? A bit surprised at that to be honest!Anyone I know that age that's single get their casuals off dating apps and says everyone their age they meet when they're out is taken.

EmmetSpiceland · 03-04-2019 1:09pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

When my marriage ended (at his behest, I might point out) I walked away and left my ex with the house, the contents, the dogs and his extremely lucrative army pension.

Incredibly brave thing to do. I have a friend going through a divorce and wanted to do the same thing but as there’s a kid involved she was advised not to.

Her ex is a nasty piece of work. A real sociopath type. He’s done nothing but underhanded things since the proceedings began, it’s a complete nightmare for her. I hope to god he gets nothing out of it as that’s exactly what he deserves.

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 1:10pm

Allinall wrote: »

This does not happen.

You're just making things up to suit your agenda.

It absolutely does.
I work in this area I know what I'm talking about.
A mother will automatically be awarded custody of children unless she has addiction or mental health issues.
Or if Tulsa has child protection issues.
There is no equality in the family law courts for men

ArchXStanton · 03-04-2019 1:10pm

Paulie Tortell wrote: »

Why are you being hostile and insulting people?

Shaming language

Beta Ray Bill · 03-04-2019 1:12pm

SusieBlue wrote: »

By the same token you could take it that any man not interested in fatherhood can effectively abandon their children and get away with it, leaving the mother to raise the children.
In the very worst case scenario, he would be court ordered to pay maintenance, but even that isn't strictly enforced and takes years to prosecute for. There is no enforced custody agreements put on men who aren't interested.
The very worst outcome is a financial hit.
The statistics on the amount of single mothers vs. single fathers in this country backs this up.

That's very true.
But if a Father isn't interested in his kids, they are better off without him anyway though. Usually broke Dead beats anyway, wouldn't even be worth pursuing them for maintenance.

But in the event they are well off, it is most certainly worth while pursuing them, even if it does take a year or two.

dazed+confused · 03-04-2019 1:12pm

buried wrote:

Yes. Yes I do enjoy it. Would like to be with someone but the rural area I live in its difficult to get any sort of new relationship going. I love living out in the wild countryside but at the same time I also like listening to electronic music that sounds like a drone computer is eating/$hitting itself alive, I love to read books about the history of the world that concerns the most weird and darkest occult aspects of it. That's my craic. But that sort of craic don't exactly fly if you go out on a first date here and a lady asks ya - "So, what sort of stuff are you into?" Unless you enjoy listening to Nathan Carter and watching 'Dancing with the Canteen staff of RTE' out here, prepare to enjoy being single. And as long as I can listen to the sounds of a computer $hitting itself alive, those sounds turned up to 11 at 1am of a Friday night, then get up the next morning spending the day reading about the history of witchcraft drinking coffee and eating a rasher sandwich, I'm going to continue to enjoy the Hell out of it.

I don't think anyone has ever summed up the average Boardsie so eloquently in a single post before.

KungPao · 03-04-2019 1:13pm

Man in 20 being single? Normal.
Man in 30s being single? Okay if independent, not living with mammy etc.
Man in 40s being single? Oh, that a bit sad.
Man in 50s single all his life? Jimmy Savile alert.

Deebles McBeebles · 03-04-2019 1:14pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

It absolutely does.
I work in this area I know what I'm talking about.
A mother will automatically be awarded custody of children unless she has addiction or mental health issues.
Or if Tulsa has child protection issues.
There is no equality in the family law courts for men

That is true tbf. That's nothing against women or men for that matter but I've seen it myself. Then, most of the time the kids are better off with the mother.

This thread has made me thankful that I don't have kids but I'm still waiting for being single to be a bed of roses.

Allinall · 03-04-2019 1:14pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

It absolutely does.
I work in this area I know what I'm talking about.
A mother will automatically be awarded custody of children unless she has addiction or mental health issues.
Or if Tulsa has child protection issues.
There is no equality in the family law courts for men

So there's three examples to prove your statement that

"Women automatically granted custody of children and family home"

is wrong.

Gimme A Pound · 03-04-2019 1:15pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

It's not possible to highlight the unfairness of what can happen to men in the event of break - ups without referring to women, it's hysterical and dishonest ( aswell as intellectually lazy) to infer a hatred of women from these points

I don't think you hate women (I think others here certainly do though) but "men are better off single" as if all women could potentially ruin them is a bit of a woman hating thing to say.

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:17pm

....... wrote: »

So you dont have any evidence or examples then?

Ok - whooosh......thats the sound of your unsubstantiated misogynistic nonsense whizzing past on its way to the bin.......

If this is how you behave in real life its no wonder you have experienced such negative interactions with women.

Blanket sexist generalisations with no rationalisation do not make for much of a catch.

Well you've reached a verdict I see, being judged on all sorts I see

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:18pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Women automatically granted custody of children and family home.
Family law courts treat men as second class citizens.

Ideology blinds people to reality

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 1:19pm

Allinall wrote: »

So there's three examples to prove your statement that

"Women automatically granted custody of children and family home"

is wrong.

I see it day in day out.
Thousands of times.
You really don't know what you are talking about.
Have you ever seen s father given full custody of his children unless there is an extremely good reason.
Man are never given guardianship of their children over the mother.

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:20pm

Paulie Tortell wrote: »

Why are you being hostile and insulting people?

It's what gormless bores ( posing as wise intellectuals) do

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 1:21pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Ideology blinds people to reality

Apply that logical thinking to your own views.
If you think men get a fair crack of the whip in the family courts you don't understand family law

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:22pm

Tucker Hot Bell wrote: »

I don't think you hate women (I think others here certainly do though) but "men are better off single" as if all women could potentially ruin them is a bit of a woman hating thing to say.

Again that's an interpretation, I say again, it's impossible to highlight the fact that the courts discriminate against men without reference to the female partner

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:24pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

I see it day in day out.
Thousands of times.
You really don't know what you are talking about.
Have you ever seen s father given full custody of his children unless there is an extremely good reason.
Man are never given guardianship of their children over the mother.

Yes and in order to get access to his kids, the man must dance to the woman's tune, this often involves funding lifestyle choices

Feisar · 03-04-2019 1:28pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

That's the important part.

I'm not married but I may as well be, I can do pretty much what I want too - so long as what I want to do isn't her sister, or sister in law, or friends, or that one across the road with the body of a porn star, or strangers or anyone really.

So not exactly like being single.......not in my case anyway;)

I love being married to my wife however it is a tad restrictive so yer dead right. I can do what I want, sort off.

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 1:45pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Yes and in order to get access to his kids, the man must dance to the woman's tune, this often involves funding lifestyle choices

Absolutely, father is at the whim of the mother backed up by a court system that discriminates against the father

Stacksofwacks · 03-04-2019 1:49pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Absolutely, father is at the whim of the mother backed up by a court system that discriminates against the father

Are you on a trolling mission by any chance?

Berserker · 03-04-2019 1:53pm

Feisar wrote: »

I love being married to my wife however it is a tad restrictive so yer dead right. I can do what I want, sort off.

What do you mean by a tad restrictive?

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:53pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Apply that logical thinking to your own views.
If you think men get a fair crack of the whip in the family courts you don't understand family law

Someone needs to read back a few pages

cjragoo · 03-04-2019 1:53pm

BBFAN wrote: »

I've previously ended a relationship I never should have because I thought there was better out there.

Sounds like the person you dumped dodged a bullet.

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 1:54pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Absolutely, father is at the whim of the mother backed up by a court system that discriminates against the father

Whole thing is set up for a long and thorough shakedown

Floppybits · 03-04-2019 2:05pm

Purple Mountain wrote: »

In an ideal world, I wouldn't mind a part time boyfriend, someone to go out with once a week or holiday with but I'd never give up my independent living or want a husband!

In other words a FWB.

Dial Hard · 03-04-2019 2:06pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Whole thing is set up for a long and thorough shakedown

Not it's not. It's reflective of the culture & times during which family law as we know it was drawn up.

The reason that family law tends to favour women in break-up scenarios where there are children involved is because we are not all that far removed from a time when many women were required by law to give up work as soon as they married. This created a society where by and large, the burden of earning fell solely on men and the burden of childcare fell solely on women. And this reality was and still is reflected in the kinds of decisions and orders made by the courts in familial break-up cases.

Now, times have changed, and quite rapidly, but the law and the courts have not caught up with the real world. Legislative change is notoriously slow to come about and judges tend, by and large, to be middle-aged and conservative and this is reflected in the kind of orders they make.

Blaming women for laws and decisions that are a direct result of a patriarchal society and judicial system is actually laughable.

....... · 03-04-2019 2:09pm

grahambo wrote: »

What he means is...

Everything you have described is actually favouring the children, not the mother.

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 2:10pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

Not it's not. It's reflective of the culture & times during which family law as we know it was drawn up.

The reason that family law tends to favour women in break-up scenarios where there are children involved is because we are not all that far removed from a time when many women were required by law to give up work as soon as they married. This created a society where by and large, the burden of earning fell solely on men and the burden of childcare fell solely on women. And this reality was and still is reflected in the kinds of decisions and orders made by the courts in familial break-up cases.

Now, times have changed, and quite rapidly, but the law and the courts have not caught up with the real world. Legislative change is notoriously slow to come about and judges tend, by and large, to be middle-aged and conservative and this is reflected in the kind of orders they make.

Blaming women for laws and decisions that are a direct result of a patriarchal society and judicial system is actually laughable.

Use of the term "Patriarchy"

Classic!

Even the courts overwhelmingly side with the woman, the system is still mysogonist :rolleyes:

Feminists loose even when they win

Gimme A Pound · 03-04-2019 2:14pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

Not it's not. It's reflective of the culture & times during which family law as we know it was drawn up.

The reason that family law tends to favour women in break-up scenarios where there are children involved is because we are not all that far removed from a time when many women were required by law to give up work as soon as they married. This created a society where by and large, the burden of earning fell solely on men and the burden of childcare fell solely on women. And this reality was and still is reflected in the kinds of decisions and orders made by the courts in familial break-up cases.

Now, times have changed, and quite rapidly, but the law and the courts have not caught up with the real world. Legislative change is notoriously slow to come about and judges tend, by and large, to be middle-aged and conservative and this is reflected in the kind of orders they make.

Blaming women for laws and decisions that are a direct result of a patriarchal society and judicial system is actually laughable.

It was set mostly by men - based on the belief that children are better off with their mother, and that men need to do all the providing while women raise the kids. Not a misogynistic view but certainly not a feminist view.

It's easier to jump to the conclusion that it's a feminist creation though. The reality is much too inconvenient.

Dial Hard · 03-04-2019 2:16pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

Use of the term "Patriarchy"

Classic!

Even the courts overwhelmingly side with the woman, the system is still mysogonist :rolleyes:

Feminists loose even when they win

Are you seriously suggesting that the Irish government, legislature & judiciary haven't been pretty much entirely made up of men for the entire history of this state? Seriously???

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 2:20pm

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

Are you on a trolling mission by any chance?

Facts are trolling now?

kunst nugget · 03-04-2019 2:20pm

Thread starts: 'Golly gosh, I didn't expect it to happen to me in my thirties but I think I rather enjoy the single life.'

Sixteen hours later: 'FEEEEEMINISTS!!! AAARRRRGHHH!'

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 2:23pm

Tucker Hot Bell wrote: »

It was set mostly by men - based on the belief that children are better off with their mother, and that men need to do all the providing while women raise the kids. Not a misogynistic view but certainly not a feminist view.

It's easier to jump to the conclusion that it's a feminist creation though. The reality is much too inconvenient.

Are feminists looking to radically reform this aspect of family law so as to take a more even attitude towards asset division and care of children?

Mad_maxx · 03-04-2019 2:23pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

Are you seriously suggesting that the Irish government, legislature & judiciary haven't been pretty much entirely made up of men for the entire history of this state? Seriously???

Strawman

03-04-2019 2:25pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Thread starts: 'Golly gosh, I didn't expect it to happen to me in my thirties but I think I rather enjoy the single life.'

Sixteen hours later: 'FEEEEEMINISTS!!! AAARRRRGHHH!'

I wonder did anyone - especially the OP who is not just a smart guy but a MOD of the forum of some experience - expect anything else? The moment I read the OP I knew pretty much instantly the thread would be a Men V. Women Crapfest.

Only thing that surprised me is it did not happen _faster_ than it actually did

EmmetSpiceland · 03-04-2019 2:28pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Thread starts: 'Golly gosh, I didn't expect it to happen to me in my thirties but I think I rather enjoy the single life.'

Sixteen hours later: 'FEEEEEMINISTS!!! AAARRRRGHHH!'

I think one of the benefits of having grown up in the 80s was that we didn’t spend almost all our time indoors staring at a computer screen. I can’t help but feel that there is now a generation of overweight young men who lack both the social and hygiene skills to attract a partner and somehow this is the girl’s fault.

mariaalice · 03-04-2019 2:33pm

These things go in cycles in boards, the evil feminists, evil catholic church ect it always ends up derailing threads that could have been interesting.

jimgoose · 03-04-2019 2:34pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Thread starts: 'Golly gosh, I didn't expect it to happen to me in my thirties but I think I rather enjoy the single life.'

Sixteen hours later: 'FEEEEEMINISTS!!! AAARRRRGHHH!'

Another one nobbled by the sweaty neckbeards with the social acumen of an autistic chimpanzee, wondering why girls cross the road when they see them. :pac::pac::pac:

Stacksofwacks · 03-04-2019 2:36pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I think one of the benefits of having grown up in the 80s was that we didn’t spend almost all our time indoors staring at a computer screen. I can’t help but feel that there is now a generation of overweight young men who lack both the social and hygiene skills to attract a partner and somehow this is the girl’s fault.

I think porn has changed the landscape aswell. I remember not longer than 20 years ago if you a bit of leg or an arm you'd be ready to come in your pants, nowadays you have kids watching hardcore bondage for hours on end and barely a flicker in their knickers..something unhealthy about that

Sunny Disposition · 03-04-2019 2:36pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npueY7QpxF0

Now for ye. No one wants to be single.

....... · 03-04-2019 2:36pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I think one of the benefits of having grown up in the 80s was that we didn’t spend almost all our time indoors staring at a computer screen. I can’t help but feel that there is now a generation of overweight young men who lack both the social and hygiene skills to attract a partner and somehow this is the girl’s fault.

ROFL!!!

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 2:36pm

jimgoose wrote: »

Another one nobbled by the sweaty neckbeards with the social acumen of an autistic chimpanzee, wondering why girls cross the road when they see them. :pac::pac::pac:

Nice mocking autism, do you really have to do that to make your point

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 03-04-2019 2:37pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I wonder did anyone - especially the OP who is not just a smart guy but a MOD of the forum of some experience - expect anything else? The moment I read the OP I knew pretty much instantly the thread would be a Men V. Women Crapfest.

Only thing that surprised me is it did not happen _faster_ than it actually did

It could have been a thread about PT Barnum's three favourite colours, sunglasses indoors, how do you pronounce Swarovski, what do you reckon cows think of horses, adult braces, flat earthers, are skinny jeans a scam, Mayo's curse, boats are mad aren't they lads, and it still wouldn't have made it past 48 hours before turning out the same, to be fair.

....... · 03-04-2019 2:38pm

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

I think porn has changed the landscape aswell. I remember not longer than 20 years ago if you a bit of leg or an arm you'd be ready to come in your pants, nowadays you have kids watching hardcore bondage for hours on end and barely a flicker in their knickers..something unhealthy about that

Ah the good old days when bra adverts in Womans Way magazines were the closest we could get to porn.

jimgoose · 03-04-2019 2:38pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Nice mocking autism, do you really have to do that to make your point

I'm not mocking autism, I'm mocking you! :pac:

Charles Ingles · 03-04-2019 2:42pm

jimgoose wrote: »

I'm not mocking autism, I'm mocking you! :pac:

Well you have no right to insult me.
I've been perfectly respectfull throughout this conversation I haven't called anybody names or personally insulted them.
I have an autistic family member and don't find it amusing to mock their disability

03-04-2019 2:44pm

^ Unless your relatives are chimpanzees - I am not entirely sure he was mocking theirs

Autistic Chimpanzees on the other hand - they are going to be up in arms about his mockery of their condition. For shame sir, for shame!

I would be more worried about this constant use of the word "neck beard" though given I am not sure what it is or what the problem with one is - and I somewhat suspect I have one

But someone on another thread recently wrote "I bet you sit down to pee" and given I do that too almost exclusively - and I also do not know why that is meant to be a bad thing - I generally wonder if I should keep my mouth shut on these matters

jimgoose · 03-04-2019 2:44pm

Charles Ingles wrote: »

...I have an autistic family member and don't find it amusing to mock their disability

And neither should you. So don't. Live long, and prosper.

03-04-2019 2:45pm

Ramona Shrilling Matchmaking wrote: »

it still wouldn't have made it past 48 hours before turning out the same, to be fair.

There does seem to be a lot more butt hurt between the genders than I can explain and a lot of latent to explosive hatred and anger because of it. I warrant it is _way_ above my pay grade to understand why this is - though I have theories - but it does tend to ruin a few otherwise good threads.

Anyone else enjoy being single?

Comments