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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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    #4232
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    EuskalHerria wrote: »
    A guy posted a picture of him and his girlfriend accompanied with, for his birthday, his girlfriend was the best gift he could ask for.

    Her reply:

    "ah soo sweet thank love not a good pic of me but if it flouts ur boat tats all tat matter ha ha:) ur best thing ever to me happy birthday love have a goog nit love me ans ur kids:)...xxxxx ".

    Before you ask, in her 30's.


    A dictionary and a fisher price big button full size keyboard wouldn't go astray for her birthday.


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    #4233
    coolhull
    Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    A dictionary and a fisher price big button full size keyboard wouldn't go astray for her birthday.
    And the keyboard would have to have a 'SpellCheck' function


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    #4234
    Tetra
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Tetra


    "Looks like the date is set for this summer to have my son up here for a week. When he and Samantha get here ill have 7 of my 8 kids all in one place. God I cant wait for that"


    And from a different person:

    "Blimey my unfriend n delete/block button been on the go this morning .... sick of stupid jealous childlike muppets, pretending to be friendly n all the time sneaking behind my back !! People really shouldn't message others about me n think I won't find out.....
    If anyone has anything to say, say it to me !! If you are not 'unfriended' you obviously know this is not aimed at you ...... ffin 'ell"

    Person 1:you tell them xx
    Person 2:whats this about? x
    OP: inbox x
    Person 3: Hope ur ok, ignore the mindless ignorant t*@*s.we luv ya!!! xxxx
    Person 4:I say your awesome..now the truth is out .....
    OP:TY


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    #4235
    Tetra
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Tetra


    "Lol at my mum: having been to, and enjoyed Iron Man 3, I suggested to her that she watch the first Iron Man. She said "I don't know, would it be as bad as Star Wars? Coz I don't think I could sit through another guy with a bucket on his head, breathing heavily"

    :)


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    #4236
    Tetra
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Tetra


    "I was in the queue for coffee, listening to the three guys in front of me complain about their girlfriends One guy was giving out that his girlfriend was getting her hair done again. The other guy goes "I thought you said she got her hair done a few days ago"...and the guy said "that was a wash and blow dry, now it's colour, apparently there is a difference". It was pretty funny"


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    #4237
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    "Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"


    The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:


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    #4238
    Kotek Besar
    Registered Users Posts: 3,601 ✭✭✭Kotek Besar


    Richard Hillman wrote: »
    "Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"


    The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

    *Allegedly*.


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    #4239
    Custardpi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭Custardpi


    Richard Hillman wrote: »
    "Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"


    The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

    Ah but I'm sure he has a GBH GSOH. Whenever I see that kind of thing it reminds me of this. :D


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    #4240
    Tetra
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Tetra


    "so when they removed angelina jolie's breasts did they just throw them out...or i can totally see some crazy rich japanese guy having them smuggled out and made into a pillow..."


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    #4241
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    Kotek Besar wrote: »
    *Allegedly*.

    Not according to the justice system of Ireland ;)


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    #4242
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    Richard Hillman wrote: »
    "Happy birthday to my wonderful boyfriend <NAME> hope you have a great day babe love u to bits xxxxxxxx"


    The chap is in prison for nearly hacking somebodies arm off with a machete and headbutting his ex-girlfriend with his baby in her arms. Wonderful boyfriend alright :pac:

    This was after he pleaded guilty to headbutting his girlfriend

    "swear to god dont believe anything ya read in the papers hate dirty skanks that make up such bull **** i have ever heard in my life making him out to be an animal ya dirty skank , just remember what goes around comes an believe me it will come around and it will hit you harder than you have ever known in your life and i can bet my life on tat you dirty low life skank all you are is a jealous dirt bird skank skank skank ."


    "Making him out to be an animal" :pac: He was already in prison for attacking somebody with a machete when he was hauled up to court for this.


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    #4243
    shruikan2553
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    I love getting an update of peoples exams every 30 mins. "Lets be having you x exam" and how every exam is the hardest. Dont forget to let us know that you are taking a break after 5 mins of studying you crazy fun person you.


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    #4244
    thesandeman
    Registered Users Posts: 9,957 ✭✭✭thesandeman


    Kotek Besar wrote: »
    *Allegedly*.



    ^^^^
    *Future Mod!!*


    PS: does anyone know how to put a smiley face using a G510? If I ask in the android forum they get all technical *(insert confused smiley here) *.


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    #4245
    end of the road
    Registered Users Posts: 28,990 ✭✭✭✭end of the road


    Richard Hillman wrote: »
    "swear to god dont believe anything ya read in the papers hate dirty skanks that make up such bull **** i have ever heard in my life making him out to be an animal ya dirty skank , just remember what goes around comes an believe me it will come around and it will hit you harder than you have ever known in your life and i can bet my life on tat you dirty low life skank all you are is a jealous dirt bird skank skank skank ."
    from that status you can definitely tell her boyfriend is a jailbird, hopefully they won't be having any future jailbirds, harsh but lets be honest in this case its true

    ticking a box on a form does not make you of a religion.



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    #4246
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users Posts: 11,224 ✭✭✭✭Marty McFly


    This is brilliant just posted on facebook

    So boy says girl lets climb the sugarloaf it will b good craic n it was me him n my mam got up n down no prob grt craic, then we try n find our way back to the car which was a ten min walk only to realise two hours ltr dat we r seriously lost n nowhere near d dam sugarloaf so boy says lets climb up this other mountain it will be grand one hour ltr we hav lost boy wer hanging on d side of d mountain n the mountain rescue helicopter is on it's way to get us. Fast forward another hour me n Paul have been airlifted into the helicopter n my mam has been airlifted by stretcher and we have landed down in tallaght hospital. after hot showers n food we r all finally home safe n sound ten hours latter, shattered n slightly mortified. So note to self never go walking with boy haha


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    #4247
    EuskalHerria
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,273 ✭✭✭EuskalHerria


    Marty McFly wrote: »
    This is brilliant just posted on facebook

    So boy says girl lets climb the sugarloaf it will b good craic n it was me him n my mam got up n down no prob grt craic, then we try n find our way back to the car which was a ten min walk only to realise two hours ltr dat we r seriously lost n nowhere near d dam sugarloaf so boy says lets climb up this other mountain it will be grand one hour ltr we hav lost boy wer hanging on d side of d mountain n the mountain rescue helicopter is on it's way to get us. Fast forward another hour me n Paul have been airlifted into the helicopter n my mam has been airlifted by stretcher and we have landed down in tallaght hospital. after hot showers n food we r all finally home safe n sound ten hours latter, shattered n slightly mortified. So note to self never go walking with boy haha

    Mountain rescue potentially endangered their own lives to save morons? Leave them up there or fine them heavily.


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    #4248
    NegativeCreep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    EuskalHerria wrote: »
    Mountain rescue potentially endangered their own lives to save morons? Leave them up there or fine them heavily.

    I doubt mountain rescue are that busy here tbf
    Probably delighted someone finally needed them.


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    #4249
    coolhull
    Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    NegativeCreep wrote: »
    I doubt mountain rescue are that busy here tbf
    Probably delighted someone finally needed them.
    But if Mountain Rescue had seen that post before they went out, they wouldn't have bothered. No sane person would.


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    #4250
    milltown
    Registered Users Posts: 4,613 ✭✭✭milltown


    But did they find their car?
    I need closure!


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    #4251
    Tetra
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Tetra


    Hate this:

    "Just so everyone on my friends list knows that I completed this and I am done! Facebook has changed their privacy settings once more!! Due to the new "graph app" anyone on facebook (including other countries ) can see your pictures, likes & comments. The next 2 weeks I will be posting this, and please once you have done it please post DONE!!! Those of you who do not keep my information from going... out to the public, I will have to DELETE YOU! I want to stay PRIVATELY connected with you. I post shots of family that I don't want strangers to have access to! This happens when friends click "like" or "comment"....automatically, their friends would see our posts, too. Unfortunately, we cannot change this setting by ourselves because Facebook configured it that way. PLEASE place your mouse over my name above (DO NOT CLICK), a window will appear,now move the mouse on "FRIENDS" (also without clicking), then down to "settings", click here and a list will appear. REMOVE the CHECK on "LIFE EVENTS and "COMMENTS & LIKES". By doing this, my activity among my friends and family will no longer become public. Now, copy & paste this on your wall. Once i see this posted on your page, I will do the same. Thank You"


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    #4252
    Apanachi
    Registered Users Posts: 757 ✭✭✭Apanachi


    NegativeCreep wrote: »
    I doubt mountain rescue are that busy here tbf
    Probably delighted someone finally needed them.

    Summer holiday season coming up, they'll soon have plenty to do with all the Germans getting lost (at least up in the Cork and Kerry mountains) ;)


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    #4253
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    Person 1 : A bunch off handycapables on th fune i beg ditday people altogether i beg

    Person 2 : jermy kyle

    Person 1 : Ha wana be altogeter



    What?


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    #4254
    coolhull
    Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    SV wrote: »
    Person 1 : A bunch off handycapables on th fune i beg ditday people altogether i beg

    Person 2 : jermy kyle

    Person 1 : Ha wana be altogeter



    What?

    Does anyone out there speak gobsh1te? I desperately need a translation for this.


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    #4255
    wildlifeboy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,170 ✭✭✭wildlifeboy


    SV wrote: »
    Person 1 : A bunch off handycapables on th fune i beg ditday people altogether i beg

    Person 2 : jermy kyle

    Person 1 : Ha wana be altogeter



    What?
    a bunch of retards on the phone! I plead that these... ah i can't do it!


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    #4256
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,018 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    SV wrote: »
    Person 1 : A bunch off handycapables on th fune i beg ditday people altogether i beg

    Person 2 : jermy kyle

    Person 1 : Ha wana be altogeter



    What?

    I can normally cobble some sense together out of some of the posts here but this on? :confused::confused: - not a clue.


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    #4257
    iDave
    Registered Users Posts: 3,750 ✭✭✭iDave


    handycapables?

    ditday?


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    #4258
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    this is a status she had up 2 days before that one

    "***** ann ***** two ditday ppl in th onezzy"


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    #4259
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users Posts: 5,761 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    SV wrote: »
    this is a status she had up 2 days before that one

    "***** ann ***** two ditday ppl in th onezzy"

    She needs a good beating.


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    #4260
    TheChevron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,065 ✭✭✭TheChevron


    I can make out most of it, but what the feck is "Ditday"?


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    #4261
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    SV wrote: »
    Person 1 : A bunch off handycapables on th fune i beg ditday people altogether i beg

    Person 2 : jermy kyle

    Person 1 : Ha wana be altogeter



    What?
    SV wrote: »
    this is a status she had up 2 days before that one

    "***** ann ***** two ditday ppl in th onezzy"
    Dot Cotton maybe 100 years old but I can relate to her when she said to Fatboy "I don't speak gibberish".


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