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Long termers TTC

13567…69

Comments

  • #102
    Penny Dreadful
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭Penny Dreadful


    pennyloves wrote: »
    This will also be our second Christmas without the one thing we crave for. I feel like the oldest swinger in town as Christmas Eve isn't the same anymore. It used to be a huge gang of us in the pub and now that has been reduced to almost nothing. I don't want to be out pretending that I am livng it up and enjoying myself - I desperately want a little one to make everything worthwhile. I sit there on nights out just looking around and thinking that I would kill to be at home with a gorgeous little baby asleep upstairs, talk about contentment. I would give anything to have my own little family and to enjoy the magic of Christmas again. I never ever thought I'd be in this position and the gnawing emptiness seems to be getting worse, maybe it's just because it IS another Christmas. I have really lost hope recently as it really feels like it will never happen. A few colleagues are getting married in the next few months and I am dreading their announcements while I have to put on a brave face.

    Sorry for the rant and buckets of self pity but life just seems so bloody unfair at the moment. Please God things will look up in the New Year.

    Its funny how some things and some times of the year get to you more than others. A friend from work had her first baby a few weeks ago and I'm really genuinely happy for her. She had a long enough road herself to getting her baby so its also an inspiration for the rest of us I think.
    Anyway I bought some clothes for the baby and posted them the other day. Its was so hard, one of the outfits that I bought for when the little girl is 3-6 months old is a cream coloured pinafore with raspberry pink tights and a matching top. The heel bit of the tights is cream too. It was so super cute I wanted to keep it for the baby I don't even find myself pregnant with yet.
    :o:o:o


  • #103
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Christmas is hell, no other word. The only joy I really get out of it is buying my nephews, nieces and friends babies pressies, but now the in-laws are talking about us not buying pressies for the kids. They don't get that that just upsets me so much cause what Christmas do we have if we can't even give the kiddies something. It's my bit of excitement watching others open gifts I've carefully picked out for them. Without that it's just another day.


  • #104
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    She's just tactless i think,doesn't engage her brain at times,at this stage i'm used to it altho i have been avoiding her this past while!!
    Christmas is a tough one alright i usually don't bother making a fuss but ya know what i think i will this year,it's potentially the last christmas where it will be just the 3 of us,next year it will be officially be 3 adults as my baby turns 18 next year:eek:

    Come january we will be starting our ivf so for now life needs to be as normal as possible!


  • #105
    carolinespring
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    Well, I am out. Tested when I was 2 days late and that was a big fat no. Period arrived today :( Feeling pretty teary and crap.


  • #106
    stickybean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    Day 46, no symptons, no signs and about 8 BFN, cracking up here.

    Have my procedure in 15 days. I am so stressed about it, which I know isn't helping.

    We put up our tree over the weekend, I was hanging up the stocking, got very sad, last year I was buying stuff in the sale, there was these fab Christmas stocking reduced and I bought 4 in the hope what we would need the extra one. I'd forgotten I bought it, but I remember back to that day in the shop thinking, surely we will need it, sure by then we would be 2.5 years trying, ah it won't take that long.

    I just feel like giving up the whole thing!!!


  • #107
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    I'm right there with you Caroline, mine arrived a week early on Saturday, another month, not pregnant, life is crap...


  • #108
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    Girls having your period makes you feel crap anyway . The added disappointed of not being pregnant multiplies it a million times more .

    I see sims are having an information morning on 1st December for anyone interested in going.


  • #109
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    Girls having your period makes you feel crap anyway . The added disappointed of not being pregnant multiplies it a million times more .

    I see sims are having an information morning on 1st December for anyone interested in going.


  • #110
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I'm out too.


  • #111
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    It's not getting any easier guys is it... Mine came a week early like what is that about, always have a 27 day cycle, how annoying... god will it ever happen, feel like I'm in limbo land


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  • #112
    hedgehog2
    Registered Users Posts: 317 ✭✭hedgehog2


    *mod note* Post had the best of intentions but understandably upset longterm posters to this forum.


  • #113
    stickybean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭stickybean


    *mod edited*

    Can we please get this post removed, it is very insensitive to all the posters in the long term TTC

    Delighted for you friends and you and your wife but your post is not helpful at all, infact very upsetting. Myself and other posters come here to meet with people in similar circumstances, not to hear about people who have been lucky


  • #114
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    *edited*

    Ah heyor....


  • #115
    broody_kitten
    Closed Accounts Posts: 49 ✭broody_kitten


    *edited*

    I know you mean well, but there are fewer things more frustrating to hear for a couple having trouble conceiving than 'just relax and it'll happen'. It is a serious heartache and for people to swan in and say it's no big deal is a kick in the teeth... I am only at the start of my journey, I have no idea if I'll have problems conceiving or not but at least try to have a little sensitivity, some people here have genuine medical issues that you know nothing about.


  • #116
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I tried so hard to reply to that post, but I know I'd get banned no matter how I phrase it.


  • #117
    Penny Dreadful
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭Penny Dreadful


    Neyite wrote: »
    I tried so hard to reply to that post, but I know I'd get banned no matter how I phrase it.

    Its one of those times when silence says much more than any words ever could.

    Caoline, I was really really sorry to see your post. I was (as I do for all the people here) really hoping you'd get some good news and have a brilliant Christmas on the back of it.

    It seems to be a strike out on all fronts at the moment.

    I'm still in my 2WW. According to the apps (which I now know are off by a week - 10 days) my period is due tomorrow. My boobs are quite tender for the past few days and if I didn't know that my cycle is where it is thanks to the OPKs I'd be driving myself silly wondering and thinking every twinge was "IT".
    I know it still could be but I'm not overly hopeful. I've set myself a reminder that my period (according to my new calculations) is due sometime around December 1-3. I might test on November 30th. That would be before its due but still in the time frame for being able to get a reliable result one way or another.
    Waiting is very hard to do. :(


  • #118
    hedgehog2
    Registered Users Posts: 317 ✭✭hedgehog2


    Hey there was no offence intended,
    Apologies if it upset a few people but that was not my intention.
    As I said good luck with it all and I hope many are successful with their needs.


  • #119
    ellavin
    Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭ellavin


    Hi has anyone any feedback on acupuncture? I heard it can help.. think I will give it ago


  • #120
    Penny Dreadful
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭Penny Dreadful


    ellavin wrote: »
    Hi has anyone any feedback on acupuncture? I heard it can help.. think I will give it ago

    I've been having acupuncture for a while now. I've had 7 sessions so far. While I am not pregnant yet I have noticed a change for the better since I started it.
    My cycle, although longer than your average (38/39 days long) has become more regular. My periods returned very quickly after being on the Pill for well over a decade but they were short and light. Now they are still short enough (2-3 days) but are heavier in a healty way.
    I had also experienced the development of bad skin (something I had never suffered with) on my jaw line, neck and chin areas that had gotten worse over the passing months. The acupuncture has helped clear this up massively. When I asked the acupuncturist why he said it is related to the endocrine system and the treatments were helping to regulate it and so my skin was clearing up.
    In another way having acupuncture has been very good for me mentally as it is very relaxing and destressing. I love it, especially if I have the last appointment on a Friday evening. Its the perfect way to wind down at the end of a busy work week. It has also helped me to feel that I've taken positive steps towards taking control of the situation around TTC.
    There is a thread on it here if you'd like to read it:
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057056480


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  • #121
    Parris83
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Parris83


    Hello all,

    I know I already posted a thread, but since a few of you are chatting here; could I ask about early appointments with your doctors.

    All I have had done are my day 3 and day 21 bloods with my GP, the results showing I had not ovulated. We lost of baby through miscarriage in 2005 and have been trying to conceive for 7 years.

    We have our first appointment with Dr. Allen on Wednesday. I'm just looking for a rough idea on what may happen at the appointment.

    Any replies are really appreciated!

    Thanks :)


  • #122
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    hedgehog2 wrote: »
    Hey there was no offence intended,
    Apologies if it upset a few people but that was not my intention.
    As I said good luck with it all and I hope many are successful with their needs.

    Your apology is appreciated. Maybe you should stick around and see why your post struck a nerve though. Its great that you don't feel that you and your wife would be affected if you never have children, and its my hope that never changes for you.

    Infertility is often a really lonely road for couples. It starts off lovely and positive and exciting because you decide you want to try for that baby that you have wanted for so long, so you run off giggling to the bedroom. Months pass and there is no result, or, there is a result, but its short-lived and that baby you so wanted bleeds out of you. Meanwhile family and friends are making comments, dropping hints, or being baldly forward about something that is deeply private. Month by month, you get a little sadder and sadder that people left right and centre are having babies with barely a thought, and each Christmas that passes where you cant add a third stocking to your family's decorations it gets harder and harder. You start to wonder about medical intervention, if you can afford it, if you can work appointments and procedures around work, you scour the internet for statistics and treatments and old wives tales. Time starts to run out.

    Those that you do tell, well, usually they are full of well-meaning yet useless advice - a bit like your post really. Like telling us to relax. Telling us that someone that they knew got knocked up just when they had given up, to go on a nice holiday, to not think about it. etc etc.

    But we on this thread are past that stage. We did the holidays, the weekends away, the relaxing. We unfortunately are no strangers to blood tests, transvaginal ultrasounds, HSG X-rays, medications, injections, Lap & Dye, semen analysis. We know more than we ever should about IVF, ISCI, DNA Fragmentation and the like. We know far too many doctors and specialists, we know far too well what its like to finally get pregnant only to lose your baby, typically right about when your sister in law or colleague announces her pregnancy too.

    And we do all that in private. For most of us, nobody knows except our partners. So that is why when you come here all you see is a moany thread. Because its the only place we have to be a little sad that Christmas is coming and there is no Santa. When we mourn our little ones that didn't make it, the ones we lost that will never have Santa gifts.

    So, while I understand you had the best of intentions, this is why your post hit us hard. It was more than a bunch of hormonal women getting uptight. Its a tough time of year for many here on this thread. And I hope that you understand that now.


  • #123
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Very very well said, Neyite.

    Here's a few answers for when asked the dreaded ''any sign of kids yet?''


    1) No, not yet. But, seeing as you asked, how's your sex life?

    2) Actually, we've been trying but we just like anal faaar too much.

    3) No. Would hate to risk having a child who grows up to be a nosy bitch.

    4) *Just start crying*

    5) Can't stop... am ovulating...

    6) Do you always ask such personal questions or are you just bored today?

    7) No, I'm barron.

    8) Nope. I like to swallow and those little fellas never make it past my tonsils.

    9) Nah, you'd get very little for a baby on the black market right now.

    10) Actually, we're looking for sponsorship for some fertility treatment. Thanks for your interest. Do you have a half and hour to sit down and discuss your contribution?

    11) Mind your own business.


  • #124
    ellavin
    Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭ellavin


    Well said neyite. . It's a very lonely road especially when you're friends life are all going well for them they can't relate to me as my friend perks up and says ahh I am just so fertile" sensitive or what..


  • #125
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    My usual one:

    *pause*
    "That's a very personal thing to ask someone, don't you think?
    *hard stare*

    It's very effective :D


  • #126
    hedgehog2
    Registered Users Posts: 317 ✭✭hedgehog2


    My useless advice was meant not to offend as stated but to reassure.
    I see now being new to this thread that its very personal to a lot of you and I really should not have said anything as so many of you have suffered minor traumas from your personal experiences.
    You should really sticky your reply as it tells it how it is and maybe a few more who drop into this thread would get the picture without putting their foot in it.


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  • #127
    Lucuma
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,356 ✭✭✭Lucuma


    I had a tear in my eye from the passion of Neyite's post above, followed by a laugh out loud other tear in my eye from Lucyfur's post below it - hahaha!:D


  • #128
    Sarah Bear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 481 ✭✭Sarah Bear


    Oh neyite, your post just broke my heart. I really hope you all get what you truly deserve. Nothing as heartbreaking as a mammy that doesn't have a baby to hold.


  • #129
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    I didn't see the post ye are on about,thankfully by the responses it's getting.

    Neyite you've described exactly how I feel anyway . I'd nearly print it off and hand it out to 'well meaning' people giving me their advice.


  • #130
    lollpop
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭lollpop


    ellavin wrote: »
    Hi has anyone any feedback on acupuncture? I heard it can help.. think I will give it ago

    I did it for about a year. It didn't help me get pregnant but it did help regulate my cycles. I had a very short luteal phase and it helped that increase from anywhere from 6-9 days to a regular 12 days. My cycles are like clockwork now.


  • #131
    lollpop
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭lollpop


    Parris83 wrote: »
    Hello all,

    I know I already posted a thread, but since a few of you are chatting here; could I ask about early appointments with your doctors.

    All I have had done are my day 3 and day 21 bloods with my GP, the results showing I had not ovulated. We lost of baby through miscarriage in 2005 and have been trying to conceive for 7 years.

    We have our first appointment with Dr. Allen on Wednesday. I'm just looking for a rough idea on what may happen at the appointment.

    Any replies are really appreciated!

    Thanks :)

    Sorry to hear about your problems.
    Is it a fertility clinic or one of the public hospitals or someone else you're attending? I went to a fertility clinic so can give you an idea of how they worked if that's the route you're going.


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  • #132
    lollpop
    Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭lollpop


    Actually I've just seen your other thread Paris.
    For my first appointment I had to get a number of tests done in advance - AMH, thyroid and other hormone tests. I can't remember them all at this point. DH had to get his semen analysis done in advance and I also had to get an ultrasound.

    At the first appointment, the doctor asked a range of questions. There were questions about my general history - any illnesses, any operations, that sort of thing. Family history, particularly any gynae issues that affected any sisters. Then details about your TTC journey, how long have you been trying, do you ovulate, do you have a regular cycle, are your periods heavy, all the usual things. They also took a full history from DH. They then went through the results of all the tests and came up with an action plan based on the full suite of information. It's obviously specific to your individual circumstances.

    I hope that helps.


  • #133
    Parris83
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Parris83


    I was referred to Dr. Allen on the public system. She holds a clinic in Michaels. It was a wait of a year, but it's here now :)

    That really does help lollpop, thanks for sharing!


  • #134
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    Neyite, your post REALLY hit the mark, that is exactly how I feel and the exact same process I've gone through, that's the reason I'm on this because so many of you are in the exact same position as me and now I don't feel so alone... it's such a burden to carry around and sometimes you just want to scream.
    I went to the doctor this morning for a medical for a boxing tournament I have on Friday, I can back and one of my colleagues told another one 'joking' that I was expecting, he thought it was a great laugh, I know he has no clue and meant nothing by it but even so why would you even do something like that, it's not funny... so annoyed now, just want to be pregnant so bad, will the day ever come where I can look my partner in the eyes and say 'I'm pregnant', always think what his face would be like, really want to give him that... (bad day)


  • #135
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I know what you mean about yearning for the day you tell him you are pregnant. I got a tiny baby GAA jersey about 6 months after starting ttc for him as a way of telling him I was pregnant. It was another year and a half before I could give it to him.

    But when I finally did it was wonderful. I am deeply blessed with our child, I know that. Sometimes I feel greedy for trying for more, but I have to try I suppose.


  • #136
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    My guy is big into cars - well we both are and there are the cutest little babygrows and vests out there with the brand logo on it and quirky sayings that I'd love to have but sometimes I feel my day will never come. I just hope it does happen someday... Don't feel greedy, course you have to try and there is hope for you... I don't always feel like there is for me, how much longer can it take, can't believe I am over 4 years on this road...


  • #137
    carolinespring
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    Well, F**K it in a bucket Mrs Ducket......... in less than 4 weeks I will be 41. Lets face it, time is not on my side anymore and I am really sad today about it. No point in trying to convince myself it is. yes, we all know people who have had children in 40's and even late 40's and the odd one who was 50. My own mum had me when she was 43/44

    As before I fell every time first month and now we have our "issue" fixed and NOTHING.. What do we do next? This will be our 6th month trying. So I go back to the consultant in January and say what... Why am I not pregnant? Damn it, it feels like we finally got answers and now for the first time I can't get pregnant. While before I could get pregnant but not stay pregnant. I just want to scream. We have not talked about what would be the next move or even if there is a next move. I remember saying to Barbie many times that I felt 6 months of trying would be lucky. I think it was a way of not getting my hopes up to soon and also it was first go every other time and I always lost the baby and now... A big fat nothing.

    Maybe its time to just forget about it and live our life... Yes, its the upcoming birthday that is getting to be and yes, age is just a number but not so much so when TTC. What I wouldn't give to go back to 38 and have those extra few years on my side.

    tonight is going to be a early night with a book and a large mug of tea. Totally heartbroken.


  • #138
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    carolinespring wrote: »
    Well, F**K it in a bucket Mrs Ducket......... in less than 4 weeks I will be 41. Lets face it, time is not on my side anymore and I am really sad today about it. No point in trying to convince myself it is. yes, we all know people who have had children in 40's and even late 40's and the odd one who was 50. My own mum had me when she was 43/44

    As before I fell every time first month and now we have our "issue" fixed and NOTHING.. What do we do next? This will be our 6th month trying. So I go back to the consultant in January and say what... Why am I not pregnant? Damn it, it feels like we finally got answers and now for the first time I can't get pregnant. While before I could get pregnant but not stay pregnant. I just want to scream. We have not talked about what would be the next move or even if there is a next move. I remember saying to Barbie many times that I felt 6 months of trying would be lucky. I think it was a way of not getting my hopes up to soon and also it was first go every other time and I always lost the baby and now... A big fat nothing.

    Maybe its time to just forget about it and live our life... Yes, its the upcoming birthday that is getting to be and yes, age is just a number but not so much so when TTC. What I wouldn't give to go back to 38 and have those extra few years on my side.

    tonight is going to be a early night with a book and a large mug of tea. Totally heartbroken.

    I have absolutely no idea what to say to that, only to offer big hugs to you. I am only a short drive away if you need anything xx


  • #139
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Same here Caroline. The last thing you want to hear right now is empty platitudes, you are a lovely person and dont deserve the heartache all these years. Lots and lots of hugs.


  • #140
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Just sending you hugs honey. We're all here for you.


  • #141
    Melissa30
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭Melissa30


    Hey I'm new hope it's ok to join in. Not technically TTC but have been having tests and seeing gynecologists for a few years as I haven't had a period in 4 years. Have had HSG, tubes are open but I don't ovulate. Waiting on results of AMH, back to hospital in two weeks.

    Just started acupuncture, just had two treatments so far. Guessing will be put on Clomid when I go back assuming I have eggs.

    It's exhausting and heartbreaking. So sorry for all ye are going through x


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  • #142
    pennyloves
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭pennyloves


    Sending you my love Caroline. X


  • #143
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Can I ask how many have done clomid cycles?

    Any side effects?


  • #144
    pennyloves
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭pennyloves


    You have summed up all our experiences so eloquently and poignantly neyite. I would be lost without this forum because people don't want to hear how heavy your heart is every time you meet for coffee or on a night out and yet that sense of emptiness continues to gnaw away at you everytime you are faced with a toddler bumbling ahead of you in the supermarket or having to face another christening of yet another one of my friend's babies. That SMA ad that says, take it from us, you're doing great, " really gets to me and can set me off.


  • #145
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    Lucyfur wrote: »
    Can I ask how many have done clomid cycles?

    Any side effects?

    I took clomid,it turned me into a demon,think it was 6 months i as on it for and doc said about goin on it again but i said no.not much point me taking it to get pregnant when i couldnt even look at my other half while i was on it!!:eek:


  • #146
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    bobskii wrote: »
    I took clomid,it turned me into a demon,think it was 6 months i as on it for and doc said about goin on it again but i said no.not much point me taking it to get pregnant when i couldnt even look at my other half while i was on it!!:eek:

    Sorry I LOL'ed :D

    I am on my first cycle of it and my head is thumping since Monday :/


  • #147
    bobskii
    Registered Users Posts: 1,495 ✭✭✭bobskii


    I laugh myself when i think about it!Last day we were in the hari the doc asked how did i get on,on clomid,my husband answered,he said we didn't lol!!


  • #148
    ellavin
    Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭ellavin


    Another month passes by ttc is hard.. thought we done well this month and bam pains, and tender boobs ..so frustrating :(


  • #149
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Lucyfur wrote: »
    Can I ask how many have done clomid cycles?

    Any side effects?

    I think I got headaches, and very premenstrual. Also affected my mood, I was quite cranky. But I didnt really notice until afterwards. Strong ovulation pains though. The first time I ever really noticed them.

    I was on a pretty low dosage though. A lot of women prescribed higher dosages found it tough going.

    Angry sex. Think Monica from friends. ;)


  • #150
    Lucyfur
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Neyite wrote: »
    I think I got headaches, and very premenstrual. Also affected my mood, I was quite cranky. But I didnt really notice until afterwards. Strong ovulation pains though. The first time I ever really noticed them.

    I was on a pretty low dosage though. A lot of women prescribed higher dosages found it tough going.

    Angry sex. Think Monica from friends. ;)

    Thankfully I'm not angry :D Yet....a little hormental but not much more than usual tbh


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  • #151
    Hollywood130
    Registered Users Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Hollywood130


    I was on 50ml didn't really get any side effects from it except bad ovulation pains, found having sex painful during that time due to the pains in my lower stomach. Was never put on a higher dose the side effects are prob worse!

    Pennyloves that ad drives me crazy too... ggrrrrr


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