While out one morning in the park, Andy Murray found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. What's that?she asked, with her eyes gleaming with lust . It's a tennis ball replies Andy Murray.Oh,says the blonde sympathetically, that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once.
A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and decided to take it out for a drive on the motorway. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided too put the boot down. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.There is no way they can catch a Mercedes, he thought to himself and up the speed further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. He says to himself what am I doing? Then he thought to himself I better pull over. The police officer came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. It's been a long hard day says the police officer, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go.The guy thinks about it for a second and says, Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back. Have a nice weekend, said the officer.
Last edited by natashaob6; 14-09-2018 at 16:16.