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What's the etiquette here??

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Comments

  • #6802
    mfceiling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,861 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    Some douche bag has started a new thread on AH about taking 2 dulcolmax tablets cause he needs to clean his insides out.
    I mean we have some of the greatest minds on matters of the faecel issues and he goes solo without even checking in here.

    The hell is wrong with people?


  • #6803
    Gooey Looey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Gooey Looey


    Double drop another two, it'll help you along. Don't worry, you'll be fine!


  • #6804
    corner of hells
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,408 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    XsApollo wrote: »
    There will be no battle,
    What’s there is coming out, you have no choice in the matter.
    You better hope it’s soft, and not hard and big , or your as*is gonna get ripped a new one .

    This bloke speaks the truth , if that bum spud comes out hard , you're going to let a roar out of ya like Chewbacca fighting the stormtroopers.


  • #6805
    Tzardine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,884 ✭✭✭Tzardine


    Two wont have you running to the jacks in a hurry.

    5 of them however will have you going off like the Bellagio fountains.

    Speaking from previous experience.


  • #6806
    Halenvaneddie
    Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭Halenvaneddie


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Tiny things they were.

    I had to eat them off the palm of my hand like some sort of hungry tramp rather than put them in my own mouth because they're difficult to hold. They're about the size of the head on a matchstick. Who knew that something so little could do so much damage. Well, that's the hope.

    As of now they haven't done anything. I haven't so much as passed gas since taking them and we're going on nearly four hours now, but the leaflet says I'll get some action between six and eight hours.

    And I can't lie, I'm a little excited. I've never taken laxatives before, so I don't much about what to expect apart from the obvious, but I do know there's a hell of a lot of water and shyte in my system which needs to be washed out by tomorrow afternoon. There's a very small get-together - and I do mean very small, like five people and three of which are from the same household - in my cousin's place for the Ireland match and I've been wanting to wear my lovely 'new' shirt for about six months. Problem is, I'm carrying a bit of timber and if I sit down in the shirt, the buttons on the lower half will pop off and potentially take somebody's eye out. The hope is that the shirt will fit over my belly a little better. I do the same cleanse on a regular basis and it's a lot healthier. You just abstain from carbs and sodium and pump yourself full of water and somewhat contradictory, you drop a lot of water weight. But it takes a couple days and I've only got what, 19 hours or something.

    I've had the first fart just there, literally this second by the way. Hopefully it's a sign of things to come. Hopefully it's the equivalent of a bugle noise before a big battle. My bathroom is the battlefield. And with a bit of luck my arse will feel like it sat on the sharp end of a bayonet for a few hours but, as I said, it's worth it. In this day and age it's important for men and women to get any sense of positive welbeing that they can and I - I think - will get some from fitting into this shirt.

    C'mon Ireland. C'mon Dulcolax.

    You need to boof them my guy


  • #6807
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,529 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    I had to take them once after being ill. Unfortunately I sharted, so do take care with the farts.
    https://forumofgames.com/index.php




  • #6808
    jk23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 877 ✭✭✭jk23


    Lucozade and surprisingly silvermints will get you flowing like a volcano!


  • #6809
    begbysback
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭begbysback


    Seriously? did the op just take laxatives in the hope of knocking some fat off ?


  • #6810
    BrianD3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,447 ✭✭✭BrianD3


    Such innocuous looking little bastards :D Two of them might not be too bad but who knows.

    Anytime between about 3 and 15 hours prepare for "gentle predictable relief" aka massive cramps, an arse twitching like a rabbit's nose, sh*tting yourself and then not sh*tting again for another week.

    One for the etiquette thread?


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  • #6811
    J. Marston
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,220 ✭✭✭✭J. Marston


    13 sachets of Movicol should move things along.


  • #6812
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Just had my first movement but I don't know if it was nature or the Dulcolax.


  • #6813
    padohaodha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭padohaodha


    I love this😂😂😂brilliant😂😂😂


  • #6814
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    take another half


  • #6815
    Gooey Looey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Gooey Looey


    Wow, moving this thread is a bit sh1t considering we were told last week that JohnnyFlash passed away and this was one of his most memorable posts for me


  • #6816
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Do you've any idea how f*cking annoying it is to write a 400-word post about a unique and interesting subject and have it moved to a thread based on an anecdote which in all probability never actually happened? The mod took some brain laxatives before moving this. They aren't the same subject.


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  • #6817
    2018na
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 221 ✭✭2018na


    Gooey Looey wrote: »
    Wow, moving this thread is a bit sh1t considering we were told last week that JohnnyFlash passed away and this was one of his most memorable posts for me

    He didn’t actually pass away but please could someone confirm this. I thought some of his posts to be absolutely fantastic. Some wordsmith he is


  • #6818
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Tiny things they were.

    I had to eat them off the palm of my hand like some sort of hungry tramp rather than put them in my own mouth because they're difficult to hold. They're about the size of the head on a matchstick. Who knew that something so little could do so much damage. Well, that's the hope.

    As of now they haven't done anything. I haven't so much as passed gas since taking them and we're going on nearly four hours now, but the leaflet says I'll get some action between six and eight hours.

    And I can't lie, I'm a little excited. I've never taken laxatives before, so I don't much about what to expect apart from the obvious, but I do know there's a hell of a lot of water and shyte in my system which needs to be washed out by tomorrow afternoon. There's a very small get-together - and I do mean very small, like five people and three of which are from the same household - in my cousin's place for the Ireland match and I've been wanting to wear my lovely 'new' shirt for about six months. Problem is, I'm carrying a bit of timber and if I sit down in the shirt, the buttons on the lower half will pop off and potentially take somebody's eye out. The hope is that the shirt will fit over my belly a little better. I do the same cleanse on a regular basis and it's a lot healthier. You just abstain from carbs and sodium and pump yourself full of water and somewhat contradictory, you drop a lot of water weight. But it takes a couple days and I've only got what, 19 hours or something.

    I've had the first fart just there, literally this second by the way. Hopefully it's a sign of things to come. Hopefully it's the equivalent of a bugle noise before a big battle. My bathroom is the battlefield. And with a bit of luck my arse will feel like it sat on the sharp end of a bayonet for a few hours but, as I said, it's worth it. In this day and age it's important for men and women to get any sense of positive welbeing that they can and I - I think - will get some from fitting into this shirt.

    C'mon Ireland. C'mon Dulcolax.

    Oxtail soup on the way. Don't stray too far from the "potty".


  • #6819
    3d4life
    Registered Users Posts: 900 ✭✭✭3d4life


    mfceiling wrote: »
    Some douche bag has started a new thread on AH about taking 2 dulcolmax tablets cause he needs to clean his insides out.
    I mean we have some of the greatest minds on matters of the faecel issues and he goes solo without even checking in here.

    The hell is wrong with people?


    Dumb thing to do when he could have gone for Moviprep or Picolax


    Some People :rolleyes:


  • #6820
    Gooey Looey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Gooey Looey


    2018na wrote: »
    He didn’t actually pass away but please could someone confirm this. I thought some of his posts to be absolutely fantastic. Some wordsmith he is

    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155


  • #6821
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Should have just bought a punnet of pears, Aldi might have them at 49c.

    4 or 5 of those boys, will have the leather cheerio straining to hold the 10bar head that'll rapidly build up. Youtmr guts will be creaking like the hull in Das Boot, just before you flick that pressure release valve.

    Thsts assuming you make it; go an extra pear "for luck", will see your effective Discharge Coefficient change, with potential catastrophic consequences on the liquid viscosity.


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  • #6822
    2018na
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 221 ✭✭2018na


    Gooey Looey wrote: »
    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155
    I’ve searched rip.ie all week for someone fitting his description and thankfully i can’t find any matches. I really really hope it’s not true


  • #6823
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    .


  • #6824
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    So very anti-climactic so far. I've had two sh*ts and the first one was probably the wrap from this afternoon. We're over seven hours in and I'm considering popping two more if there isn't serious movement over the next hour or so.


  • #6825
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    So very anti-climactic so far. I've had two sh*ts and the first one was probably the wrap from this afternoon. We're over seven hours in and I'm considering popping two more if there isn't serious movement over the next hour or so.

    Leave it bake for a few hours


  • #6826
    46 Long
    Closed Accounts Posts: 355 ✭✭46 Long


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Please, J, do the world a favour and do not flush them. They don’t “break down”, they still cause blockages and they are terrible for the environment.

    Throw them into a little bin beside the toilet, like a Greek.

    Certainly not. No one wants to leave the remnants of their crimes against common decency festering away in a grotty little bin beside the toilet. I flush them and enjoy the sparkling cleanliness of the bathroom and my undercarriage. I've had my fun Emmet, and that's all that matters.


  • #6827
    An Ri rua
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,520 ✭✭✭An Ri rua


    jk23 wrote: »
    Lucozade and surprisingly silvermints will get you flowing like a volcano!

    No point in messing around. A Lucozade enema is the job here. With a bag of baking soda stirred in. You'll be besmirching the hopper in jig time...


  • #6828
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    I ate chilli a couple of days ago - the farts yesterday were on a par with Guinness and cabbage. Crop dusted downstairs at home. The thing is, I know that the bowels need a detox - I haven’t had a proper blow out in months if not years. Any suggestions for fast and effective relief?


  • #6829
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,724 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    46 Long wrote: »
    Certainly not. No one wants to leave the remnants of their crimes against common decency festering away in a grotty little bin besides the toilet. I flush them and enjoy the sparkling cleanliness of the bathroom and my undercarriage. I've had my fun Emmet, and that's all that matters.

    Filthy kernt.


  • #6830
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,144 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    Gooey Looey wrote: »
    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155

    Dafuq?


  • #6831
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Two dumps. No food in 16 hours. Shirt didn't fit.

    Conclusions:

    Didn't take enough Dulcolax.


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  • #6832
    Tzardine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,884 ✭✭✭Tzardine


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Two dumps. No food in 16 hours. Shirt didn't fit.

    Conclusions:

    Didn't take enough Dulcolax.

    I told you. 5 is the sweet spot.


  • #6833
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Tzardine wrote: »
    I told you. 5 is the sweet spot.

    Amen. Only taking two was a stupid idea in hindsight. Maybe the idea itself was a stupid idea in hindsight but I had good intentions.


  • #6834
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,469 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Taking laxatives to attempt to fit into a shirt is intensely stupid and demeans this fine thread.

    Scrap the cap!



  • #6835
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Well you haven't seen this shirt Mr Desiato.


  • #6836
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Gooey Looey wrote: »
    This is the post by pintman saying he passed away

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=115324649&postcount=5155

    4msid6.jpg


  • #6837
    akelly02
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,135 ✭✭✭akelly02


    Is johnnyflash actually dead?


  • #6838
    Trouser Snake
    Closed Accounts Posts: 348 ✭✭Trouser Snake


    He's gone the way of the Flutt unfortunately.


  • #6839
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    akelly02 wrote: »
    Is johnnyflash actually dead?

    The username is .... I'm sure he's still posting though ;)


  • #6840
    Slideways
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,030 ✭✭✭Slideways


    I have a very itchy ring piece. So far have avoided getting stuck in with the finger. Double checked there wasn’t some dried poo flakes that was causing it, TP came away spotless but I’m nearly at the stage of dragging my arse along the ground like an old Collie dog.


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  • #6841
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    Slideways wrote: »
    I have a very itchy ring piece. So far have avoided getting stuck in with the finger. Double checked there wasn’t some dried poo flakes that was causing it, TP came away spotless but I’m nearly at the stage of dragging my arse along the ground like an old Collie dog.

    I get some terrible stingray. Sudocream will give you some relief but more than likely it’s a diet problem.


  • #6842
    Arthur Fent
    Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭Arthur Fent


    Slideways wrote: »
    I have a very itchy ring piece. So far have avoided getting stuck in with the finger. Double checked there wasn’t some dried poo flakes that was causing it, TP came away spotless but I’m nearly at the stage of dragging my arse along the ground like an old Collie dog.

    Could be a dose of the aul worms


  • #6843
    Slideways
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,030 ✭✭✭Slideways


    Arthur Fent wrote: »
    Could be a dose of the aul worms

    I’ll go to vet in the morning for some Ivomec pour on so


  • #6844
    2018na
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 221 ✭✭2018na


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    The username is .... I'm sure he's still posting though ;)
    Hopefully he'll reveal himself soon. Cat that used to come round the place on the missing list presumed ripp. Couldn't cope with j flash as well


  • #6845
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Moooornnninnnnnn lovelies!!!!

    Got the coffee down me neck, ass in gear ..... and blew out a foul scuttery loud of rancid arse gravy into the porcelain .... sounded like I was dumping a bucket of mackerel onto a tiled floor - from a height no less!!!


    Ah !! Great start to the day ... getting chilly here too .... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


  • #6846
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,724 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    Moooornnninnnnnn lovelies!!!!

    Got the coffee down me neck, ass in gear ..... and blew out a foul scuttery loud of rancid arse gravy into the porcelain .... sounded like I was dumping a bucket of mackerel onto a tiled floor - from a height no less!!!


    Ah !! Great start to the day ... getting chilly here too .... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    If you are wearing the good ‘Calvins’ would strongly recommend using a cotton wool ‘plug’ wedged into the rivet.

    Tends to be a bit of ‘drool’ after a deposit like that....... leave a stain on the ‘calvins’ like a Labrador hounds ringpiece after a feed of ‘blown’ offal.

    Impossible to shift.

    Fcuking bang like burning tyres....


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  • #6847
    Gael23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,123 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    My doctor wants me to bring in a sample of my deposit to check what’s going on in my guts 💩


  • #6848
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Drank a hape of out of date stout at the weekend the old scutter pipe after getting an awful hammering


  • #6849
    Slideways
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,030 ✭✭✭Slideways


    Gael23 wrote: »
    My doctor wants me to bring in a sample of my deposit to check what’s going on in my guts 💩

    How does one go about such a task. Do you stop with the turtles head just protruding and snip it off with a cigar cutter?

    Or trap it against the side of the armitage shanks, taking a dollop out of the middle using an ice-cream scoop?


  • #6850
    Dual wheels
    Registered Users Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Dual wheels


    Slideways wrote: »
    How does one go about such a task. Do you stop with the turtles head just protruding and snip it off with a cigar cutter?

    Or trap it against the side of the armitage shanks, taking a dollop out of the middle using an ice-cream scoop?

    I’d say the safest job is to sink one into a biscuit tin and the doc can use as much as he requires


  • #6851
    Ha Long Bay
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,318 ✭✭✭✭Ha Long Bay


    Dual wheels wrote: »
    I’d say the safest job is to sink one into a biscuit tin and the doc can use as much as he requires


    I thought a lunch box was the preferred transport method by posters on this thread?


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