Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

brandnewaward · 06-05-2015 7:10am

fussyonion wrote: »

"hoo strawberry dakirries in the tunderoad cafy on a georgous bank holiday sure what else would ya be doin wha"

Accompanied by the obligatory photo of said "dakirries".

seriously contemplating returning to education maybe?

Undergod · 06-05-2015 7:18am

PandaPoo wrote: »

'love you with all my heart, doin wats best for dr baby'

... They think they're all model parents too, it's really worrying.

Hey if their baby is a doctor, who am I judge?

retro:electro · 06-05-2015 8:58am

My friend just showed me this
"Poor donnas after takin a razor to her eyebrowns an the communion saherday"

coolhull · 06-05-2015 12:01pm

anna080 wrote: »

My friend just showed me this
"Poor donnas after takin a razor to her eyebrowns an the communion saherday"

If only scientists would invent some sort of eyebrow pencil between now and ''Saherday''

retro:electro · 06-05-2015 12:05pm

Imagine the poor child up at the altar in her big puffy dress with not an "eyebrown" in sight!

Loughc · 06-05-2015 12:55pm

anna080 wrote: »

My friend just showed me this
"Poor donnas after takin a razor to her eyebrowns an the communion saherday"

Does that mean if it was a boy it was have been sahisday? :P

WoollyRedHat · 06-05-2015 1:00pm

anna080 wrote: »

Imagine the poor child up at the altar in her big puffy dress with not an "eyebrown" in sight!

From a lowbrow event to a no brow one.

Woshy · 06-05-2015 1:22pm

anna080 wrote: »

saherday"

This actually physically upsets me. Why, just why?!

Although after reading this (and the previous) thread I sometimes think of "Telpis" and chuckle to myself. It's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen!

RonanP77 · 06-05-2015 1:41pm

Woshy wrote:

Although after reading this (and the previous) thread I sometimes think of "Telpis" and chuckle to myself. It's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen!

What's Telpis?

johnny osbourne · 06-05-2015 1:47pm

whats strawberry dakirries?

coolhull · 06-05-2015 1:54pm

RonanP77 wrote: »

What's Telpis?

Apparently it's the new FB way of writing "God help us".
I think it's brilliant!
How long before someone thinks up "Tween us anal harm" for 'God between us and all harm'?

kunst nugget · 06-05-2015 2:02pm

Woshy wrote: »

This actually physically upsets me. Why, just why?!

Although after reading this (and the previous) thread I sometimes think of "Telpis" and chuckle to myself. It's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen!

Pretty standard Midlands pronunciation of 'Saturday'. It's phonetic spelling that Mark Twain would have been proud of…

J Mysterio · 06-05-2015 2:05pm

https://twitter.com/hashtag/telpis

PandaPoo · 06-05-2015 2:44pm

This one's ex used to send me messages on Facebook when they were married

fatknacker · 06-05-2015 2:57pm

Facebook and this thread are the window into the world of the great unwashed, for us middle classians.
But a cleanish part of the window.

/shnob

retro:electro · 06-05-2015 3:21pm

PandaPoo wrote: »

This one's ex used to send me messages on Facebook when they were married

Would that make you the "hard woman"?

sara1 · 06-05-2015 3:50pm

This post has been deleted.

PandaPoo · 06-05-2015 3:52pm

anna080 wrote: »

Would that make you the "hard woman"?

Definitely not.

bjork · 06-05-2015 4:44pm

gutenberg wrote: »

Maybe not the dumbest one out there, but this one (and the comments underneath) made me laugh:

Girl 1:Ok. How many children does the queen have? And is her husband still alive? I'm so confused

Followed by comments such as:

Girl 2: Prince Philip is very much alive.

Girl 1: So how is she the queen then? Why don't we have a king?

...

Girl 1: Why is the queen dating a prince and not a king?

Girl 1: Is Prince William the queen's son?

It just went on & on from there. However, this final comment made me giggle:

Guy 1: In answer to your questions:
- The Queen has never had any children. New royals are generated at appropriate intervals by slightly modifying one of a warehouse of cloned royal embryos.
- Prince Philip was never alive.

Just link her to David Ickes theory on Lizard people, that should explain all her questions

pmy.murphy · 06-05-2015 4:47pm

Dat was d best night I had ina long time **** the stores & dat poxy chart music ino sum of it do b catchy but it's d hardhouse ye want

blindside88 · 06-05-2015 5:00pm

The new thing seems to be people missing. My newsfeed is like a bounty hunters inbox. I can across the most ridiculous one last night (shared by a friend of a friend). A woman's adult brother hadn't contacted her since before he went to work the same day and she was declaring him missing.

Jesus Christ he might have gotten the ride or his phone might be dead..... Or he might think your a bit of a drama queen and wanted a bit of space ðŸ˜„

DVDM93 · 06-05-2015 7:11pm

Thought this belonged in here

https://www.facebook.com/WhispersNews/videos/10155597495885195/

MonkstownHoop · 06-05-2015 7:13pm

DVDM93 wrote: »

Thought this belonged in here

https://www.facebook.com/WhispersNews/videos/10155597495885195/

That's brilliant

Lisha · 06-05-2015 7:15pm

blindside88 wrote: »

The new thing seems to be people missing. My newsfeed is like a bounty hunters inbox. I can across the most ridiculous one last night (shared by a friend of a friend). A woman's adult brother hadn't contacted her since before he went to work the same day and she was declaring him missing.

Jesus Christ he might have gotten the ride or his phone might be dead..... Or he might think your a bit of a drama queen and wanted a bit of space ðŸ˜„

I've just seen that one and It looks like that's a genuine missing person .

DVDM93 · 06-05-2015 7:19pm

MonkstownHoop wrote: »

That's brilliant

"You know who you are".

Well the amount of times I've seen that in statuses worthy for this thread. They got that spot on

along with everything else. Brilliant video!

PopePalpatine · 06-05-2015 7:50pm

I finally have something to contribute to this thread!

sick of everybody talking about the equality vote, why are we offering the gays an option to get married now when it use to be f****n illegal to be gay and now they wana get married. i no for a fact if i was in school and a lad had two fathers id kick the bollox out of him haha. at the end of the day its just gonna lead to more f*****g q***rs coming into this country, in fairness two q***rs raising a child will just leave the child as bent as a ****ing camels back, next we'll a bunch of f****ts running the country. Vote No.

I'm really hoping this is a frape, but I've known this guy since primary school and he's a bit of a scumbag.

rawn · 06-05-2015 7:54pm

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I finally have something to contribute to this thread!

I'm really hoping this is a frape, but I've known this guy since primary school and he's a bit of a scumbag.

I want to hit him.

ivytwine · 06-05-2015 7:57pm

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I finally have something to contribute to this thread!

I'm really hoping this is a frape, but I've known this guy since primary school and he's a bit of a scumbag.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

Lads I keep thinking of Telpis at random moments and it kills me. Funniest thing ever!

smash · 06-05-2015 7:59pm

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I finally have something to contribute to this thread!

I'm really hoping this is a frape, but I've known this guy since primary school and he's a bit of a scumbag.

See... This is why I don't just add everyone on Facebook.

J Mysterio · 06-05-2015 8:13pm

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I finally have something to contribute to this thread!

To be honest, you should be embarrassed for yourself to be 'friends' with that individual.

Mam of 4 · 06-05-2015 8:15pm

ivytwine wrote: »

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

Lads I keep thinking of Telpis at random moments and it kills me. Funniest thing ever!

Same here !! I showed my daughter the status with Telpis , she was like wtf ?? And she's on facebook !! Now I'm constantly checking in here to make sure she doesn't say it, even in joking manner and end up being quoted

bjork · 06-05-2015 8:18pm

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Same here !! I showed my daughter the status with Telpis , she was like wtf ?? And she's on facebook !! Now I'm constantly checking in here to make sure she doesn't say it, even in joking manner and end up being quoted

You can be the "cool" parent who uses "hip" language to comment on her fb page and pics

That will definitely stop her using it

Telphis all :pac:

PopePalpatine · 06-05-2015 8:24pm

J Mysterio wrote: »

To be honest, you should be embarrassed for yourself to be 'friends' with that individual.

Funnily enough, he's now backtracked and claimed he was fraped.

DVDM93 · 06-05-2015 8:30pm

'Reli wish I wuz n a relashinship. Wud be so cute watchun filmz n netfliks havin cuddlz n getn fat eaten chinese nal haha not jus bout da ridin lol x'

Fcuk it anyway. It seems one of them has caught on to the whole 'anal' thing. This genius has cleverly replaced it with 'nal' making it quite the respectful status, very civil.

DVDM93 · 06-05-2015 8:34pm

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Funnily enough, he's now backtracked and claimed he was fraped.

Bullsh1t. He's only going back on it now because I can guarantee he got slated for it, unexpectedly to him I'd imagine. It will be a good day when this type of scumbag commits an unprovoked attack based on his own homophobic views and gets absolutely battered by an onlooker or two with the view of the majority.

PopePalpatine · 06-05-2015 9:17pm

Yep, there were people (figuratively) tearing him a new arsehole over that.

retro:electro · 06-05-2015 9:23pm

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Yep, there were people (figuratively) tearing him a new arsehole over that.

He sounds disgusting. He's not alone though in that thinking, a lot of people think that two gay fathers can only mean that their children would be gay. Sure going by that logic wouldn't all straight parents have straight kids? Anyway that's off topic.

RainyDay · 06-05-2015 10:13pm

anna080 wrote: »

He sounds disgusting. He's not alone though in that thinking, a lot of people think that two gay fathers can only mean that their children would be gay. Sure going by that logic wouldn't all straight parents have straight kids? Anyway that's off topic.

Logic?

retro:electro · 06-05-2015 10:16pm

RainyDay wrote: »

Logic?

?

Potential Underachiever · 06-05-2015 10:32pm

Collage interview next Thursday finger crossed

Potential Underachiever · 06-05-2015 10:39pm

Teacher23 wrote: »

"What kinda muppet young1 still sucks on a doody nd her 20yrs of age. Grow up fool!!!"

Doody, eh?

I presume it was meant to be woody not doody!

Mam of 4 · 06-05-2015 10:40pm

Potential Underachiever wrote: »

I presume it was meant to be woody not doody!

Think it meant to be dodie? Soother? Can't keep up with these words

bjork · 06-05-2015 11:14pm

Sucking on a woody at 20 years of age

:pac:

sligojoek · 07-05-2015 12:20am

It's said that princess Diana was still sucking on a dodi up to the time she died.

the evasion_kid · 07-05-2015 12:54am

DVDM93 wrote: »

'Reli wish I wuz n a relashinship. Wud be so cute watchun filmz n netfliks havin cuddlz n getn fat eaten chinese nal haha not jus bout da ridin lol x'

Jaysus if I ever found myself trapped on a couch with that id be :

MonkstownHoop · 07-05-2015 8:13am

Up 2 dis kip soon not looking 4ward

skittles8710 · 07-05-2015 11:55pm

This just appeared on my feed. How retarded..did this also happen last year? Glad I missed it if so !

RainyDay · 08-05-2015 10:46am

skittles8710 wrote: »

This just appeared on my feed. How retarded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04Ser5wmPSA

kunst nugget · 08-05-2015 10:59am

RainyDay wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04Ser5wmPSA

Do you spend your days combing threads to see if anyone is using the word 'retarded'?

MrStuffins · 08-05-2015 11:29am

RainyDay wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04Ser5wmPSA

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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