Why is breastfeeding in public acceptable?

scarepanda · 29-06-2019 7:24pm

Ha!

So because I'm a mother who breastfeeds my child in public and from my two posts you've gleened that I'm stupid, I'm attention seeking, 'stoop to my level' I guess suggests that I'm a bit trashy for nursing in public, may be?, I look.... What? Not to your standards? A bit haggard? That would probably be because I have a newborn regardless of how I choose to feed them, night feeds are still a thing. And who mentioned going topless? I know I certainly didn't anyways.

All I can say is that you would be.... I don't know, sorely disappointed if you did know me in real life because I wouldn't live up, or would that be down(?) to your impression of me.

And as for the support you could offer me? Well I very much doubt I'd need or want the kind of 'support' you could offer me.

Anyways, thanks for replying to me. I'll keep an eye out for further posts from you as they are highly entertaining in their absurdity!

volchitsa · 29-06-2019 7:34pm

memorystick wrote: »

Is it wrong to stare at these babies feeding?

Breast feeding or not, it's seriously creepy to stare for any length of time at a baby that is not already initiating contact with you (some babies do that, others hate strangers looking at them) and especially without being in conversation with the parents. Like, really creepy.

One eyed Jack · 29-06-2019 7:59pm

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Lol, you've got to be trolling. So women have to look like a bedraggled mess or they aren't "genuine" with their breastfeeding and only attention seeking? Thank God we have men like you telling us how to do it right. How would we manage this new craze without your "support"? Maybe you should offer them tips on how to supplement with plants too or how to get their husbands lactating to help out?

One eyed Jack · 29-06-2019 8:17pm

scarepanda wrote: »

Ha!

So because I'm a mother who breastfeeds my child in public

Nope, that had nothing to do with it.

and from my two posts you've gleened that I'm stupid

I gleaned that from your first post, which is why I chose not to respond. It was only as a courtesy I chose to respond to your second post.

I'm attention seeking, 'stoop to my level' I guess suggests that I'm a bit trashy for nursing in public, may be?

You’re saying that, I didn’t.

I look.... What? Not to your standards? A bit haggard? That would probably be because I have a newborn regardless of how I choose to feed them, night feeds are still a thing. And who mentioned going topless? I know I certainly didn't anyways.

Welll I don’t know if you’re up to my standards or not because I don’t know what you look like, so I have no way of knowing whether I’d find you repulsive or not. Your attitude is repulsive, after that it doesn’t matter what you look like.

And yes my point was that they don’t look their usual selves because they have been up all night doing night feeds and sometimes even breastfeeding on demand and they are both mentally and physically drained and don’t look good.

I mentioned going topless, because that’s been my experience of some women who choose to breastfeed in public. Like I said - makes it easier to switch breasts during feeding.

All I can say is that you would be.... I don't know, sorely disappointed if you did know me in real life because I wouldn't live up, or would that be down(?) to your impression of me.

I can guarantee you with a fair degree of certainty, I’d have forgotten about you five minutes after meeting you.

And as for the support you could offer me? Well I very much doubt I'd need or want the kind of 'support' you could offer me.

Well that’s why I would ask “is there anything I can do?” If there wasn’t anything I could do, I’d leave you to it.

Anyways, thanks for replying to me, I'll keep an eye out for further posts from you as they are highly entertaining in their absurdity!

No worries, and at least you’re in no doubt now as to why I won’t be responding to you again.

biko · 29-06-2019 8:22pm

What Username Guidelines wrote: »

No it isn't

ZilkyG wrote: »

Yes it is.

Lovin' the tit for tat

5uspect · 29-06-2019 9:16pm

Lackadaisical wrote: »

I think though this is another case of internet bubble vs reality. If you breastfeed in public and someone told you off, I can almost 100% guarantee it will be them who’s committed the social faux pas, not you.

It’s not 1959.

They would also be committing a crime.

Reviews and Books Galore · 29-06-2019 10:07pm

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Anyway time to bow out of this nonsense . Interesting it is only member as of my sex 'male' that have an issue with breastfeeding . Misogyny lads, nothing else fits. Ye need to take a long hard look at yourself lads.

Women like men with their own opinions as they want a partner and not somebody who will agree with them for other reasons.

Also, you are wrong. Plenty of older women see it as crass as women often judge/regulate fame behaviour.

QUOTE=gctest50;110563195]Nah, Incels are weird

That be like "that kid is getting to feel breasts and Incels can't but deserve to

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssaaaaah "[/QUOTE

That is s completly far fetched and inane comment. I hope to Christ your early twenties.

Lackadaisical wrote: »

I think though we’re risking turning a thread that’s essentially about a puritanical view of boobs into a male vs female argument.

In my experience anyway, the people who are offended by breastfeeding aren’t of a particular gender, rather they’re all puritanical prudes that have some kind of odd hang ups about finding body parts ‘dirty’.

The fact that men have mammary glands that are switched off isn’t really relevant to a debate about women’s right to breastfeed in public.

Most 21st century men and most 21st century women will defend the right to breastfeed and have zero issue with it. It’s more of a legacy1950s prudishness problem that hasn’t fully gone away.

Thank you.

Nobelium · 29-06-2019 11:07pm

I'm all for breastfeeding in public, as long as it's ok for me to have a good look and take a few memento snaps. I love titties.

kowloon · 30-06-2019 12:44am

Feeding is the best reason to need to whip out a nip, yet town is full of topless guys in this weather. As for the sexualisation, the only way to get rid of a hang-up is to just accept it until it's normal for everyone. Nobody seems to have an issue with boobs hanging out in a documentary about some Amazonian tribe, or even actors portraying Zulu women on Saturday morning TV, but when it's a western woman it's suddenly an issue.

OPollo · 30-06-2019 2:51am

I have a feeling that only guys, who were fed with potato mash in a toilet at their early months - are whining here ...

One eyed Jack · 30-06-2019 3:28am

OPollo wrote: »

I have a feeling that only guys, who were fed with potato mash in a toilet at their early months - are whining here ...

Your feeling would be wrong. There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that women are far more likely to be disgusted by other women breastfeeding in public than men -

America’s sexualization of breasts is so pervasive even other women think public breastfeeding is gross

(I should add that I don’t agree with the authors conclusions regarding people’s motivations for disgust in the above article, she’s framing the issue from a feminist perspective which is a political and social perspective, not a scientific perspective)

'Breastfeeding is disgusting’

And women experience disgust in general in greater numbers than men -

Gender differences

Women generally report greater disgust than men, especially regarding sexual disgust or general repulsiveness which have been argued to be consistent with women being more selective regarding sex for evolutionary reasons.

Sensitivity to disgust rises during pregnancy, along with levels of the hormone progesterone. Scientists have conjectured that pregnancy requires the mother to "dial down" her immune system so that the developing embryo won't be attacked. To protect the mother, this lowered immune system is then compensated by a heightened sense of disgust.

Because disgust is an emotion with physical responses to undesirable or dirty situations, studies have proven there are cardiovascular and respiratory changes while experiencing the emotion of disgust.

As mentioned earlier, women experience disgust more prominently than men. This is reflected in a study about dental phobia. A dental phobia comes from experiencing disgust when thinking about the dentist and all that entails. 4.6 percent of women compared to 2.7 percent of men find the dentist disgusting.

Nobody was ever arguing that breastfeeding was unnatural in the first place, but if someone is attempting to argue an evolutionary basis for public breastfeeding, then they have to acknowledge the evolutionary basis for disgust that is a legitimate counter-argument to claims from people that they “don’t understand” why anyone would have an issue with it if they’re that familiar with evolutionary biology and human psychology in the first place. It’s not rocket science, and it doesn’t require a PhD in biology, psychology or sociology to be conscious of what are generally considered to be appropriate and inappropriate social standards in modern society.

It’s exhibitionism is generally considered disgusting, not breastfeeding. They’re two completely distinct behaviours.

Atlantic Dawn · 30-06-2019 3:36am

I've no problem with it at all in public, however if the mother was taking selfies of those around her while she did it I'd have a problem with it.

fits · 30-06-2019 6:04am

I fed twins. They fed really often as they had one boob each whereas single babies have two and therefore less milk available in storage per baby. If I didn’t feed in public I would never have gone anywhere ever. I didn’t tandem feed in public though as it’s just too difficult to be as discreet as I wanted to be.

Outlaw Pete · 30-06-2019 12:53pm

I feel sorry for twins. Every baby deserves two boobs to themselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCfZLxiAW_4

paleoperson · 30-06-2019 5:44pm

OPollo wrote: »

I have a feeling that only guys, who were fed with potato mash in a toilet at their early months - are whining here ...

What a ridiculous and ill-informed post.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-06-2019 6:08pm

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Personally I believe there is 'intent' or reason if you will in nature. Otherwise it's believing random chaos just proves to be amazingly beneficial in the support of life.

Evolution isn’t forward-looking. It’s not random chais either. Beneficial genes were passed on because the people who had them survived. If a beneficial mutation occurs, it gets past on. There’s no intent there. Evolution 101.

sydthebeat wrote: »

Of course evolution has an "intent"

It has one, which is overarching for all species....

That reason is survival.

No, it doesn’t. Christ, my head hurts.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 30-06-2019 6:20pm

volchitsa wrote: »

Are all opinions equal though? Does the opinion of someone who thinks "plant milk" is a traditional alternative to breast milk really count as much as someone who has given birth and breast fed children?

Answer: no.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but nobody is under any obligation to respect said opinion.

One eyed Jack · 30-06-2019 6:38pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Answer: no.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but nobody is under any obligation to respect said opinion.

That would suggest that every opinion is both valid and invalid at the same time? It’s true that nobody is under any obligation to respect or even regard another person’s opinion as valid, but the reality is that we know people consider other people’s opinions valid or invalid depending upon whether or not the other person’s opinions align with their own.

It’s an issue in identity politics where people imagine that their identity lends enough weight or an air of authority to their subjective opinions to have them regarded as objective fact. Typical example would be a person who starts their sentences with “As a <insert identity here>”. Their opinions are only valid to people who already share their opinions. To anyone else, they’re not, and as you suggest - nobody else is under any obligation to take their opinions seriously.

EDIT: The evidence of this is in the fact that objectively, we know that breastfeeding provides nutrition for infants that other forms of nutrition lack, but that argument has no value to most Western women who choose to use other forms of nutrition for their infants instead of breastfeeding.

In the article I linked to in my previous post, the author attempts to portray men as being at fault for the disgust shown by women, to women who choose to breastfeed in public, in spite of the fact that men generally don’t appear to care one way or the other about whether or not women choose to breastfeed, let alone women who choose to breastfeed in public.

dr.fuzzenstein · 30-06-2019 10:54pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Answer: no.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion but nobody is under any obligation to respect said opinion.

Absolutely. You are entitled to your own opinion, but not your own facts.
And if your opinion is idiotic, (e.g. the earth is flat), it doesn't deserve respect and in fact must be pointed out and called for the bullsh*t it is.

OPollo · 30-06-2019 11:36pm

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

And if your opinion is idiotic, (e.g. the earth is flat), it doesn't deserve respect and in fact must be pointed out and called for the bullsh*t it is.

NASA Admits They Don’t Use Real Images From Space

https://aplanetruth.info/2016/11/22/nasa-admits-they-dont-use-real-images-from-space/

What part of those stories is exactly idiotic Mr Doctor ? Religion or facts ?

dr.fuzzenstein · 01-07-2019 5:57am

OPollo wrote: »

NASA Admits They Don’t Use Real Images From Space

https://aplanetruth.info/2016/11/22/nasa-admits-they-dont-use-real-images-from-space/

What part of those stories is exactly idiotic Mr Doctor ? Religion or facts ?

Yeah, that kind of stuff.

myshirt · 01-07-2019 7:14am

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

I feel sorry for twins. Every baby deserves two boobs to themselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCfZLxiAW_4

How in God's name did you find that?

That baby looks a bit too smug for my liking. It's as though he feels he has got the perfect scam going. "Simply let out a cry and they'll stick a tit in your mouth lads".

That smile will be wiped off his face when he's in his teens. It's his own mother's tits.

namloc1980 · 01-07-2019 7:42am

Bizarre people on this thread. Just stop staring at women breast feeding and problem solved. Weirdos going around looking to be outraged.

dr.fuzzenstein · 01-07-2019 7:48am

namloc1980 wrote: »

Bizarre people on this thread. Just stop staring at women breast feeding and problem solved. Weirdos going around looking to be outraged.

Well, this is AH after all. It's always been a sh*tposting cesspit.
Hate brown people, lefties, feminists, minorities? This is the place.

One eyed Jack · 01-07-2019 7:53am

myshirt wrote: »

That smile will be wiped off his face when he's in his teens. It's his own mother's tits.

I dunno ‘bout that, how a person is raised or what they experience as they grow up, will influence what they consider normal or appropriate attitudes and behaviours, and what aren’t -

Great follow-up story to that too -

That Time I Breastfed My Son on the Cover of Time

Wouldn’t be a fan of attachment parenting myself (it’s one of the driving ideologies behind current attempts to revive breastfeeding among certain classes* in Western societies), but it appears to work well for that particular woman and her family.

*Attachment parenting is particularly popular among educated urban women in Western countries, who are interested in ecological and social issues.

There’s plenty of controversy and disagreement of opinions about the validity, advantages and disadvantages of attachment parenting as it pertains to a whole host of different perspectives - the mother, the child, the family and wider society.

pwurple · 01-07-2019 12:37pm

Wouldn’t be a fan of attachment parenting myself (it’s one of the driving ideologies behind current attempts to revive breastfeeding among certain classes* in Western societies), but it appears to work well for that particular woman and her family.

*Attachment parenting is particularly popular among educated urban women in Western countries, who are interested in ecological and social issues.

So is this your real problem... Snobbery?
The educated white women like breastfeeding so it must be bad? Well Boo bloody hooo. Get over yourself. The poor brown women also breastfeed. Baby needs food. Woman makes milk. End of story. Doesn't matter how many degrees anyone has, or how threatened any incel dudes around are. Baby still needs food.

Breastfeeding is ok in public, because the alternative is imprisonment/banishment of women.

It's just not practical any other way. Let down reflex alone would be a good enough reason... Baby is crying for food, milk comes out like the nipple is a frikken showerhead. Absolutely no point in having a pumped bottle of pre-prepped breastmilk there, the woman will just be soaked either way.

All this faffing with gear and covers and locations and cries, and worrying about who sees what. Who gives a shlt. Just Feed the damn baby.

Keep it simple.

sbsquarepants · 01-07-2019 12:50pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I

Jaysus - that kids a bit old for the tit isn't he!

Babies - let them at it, but that fella will clearly remember sucking the diddies off his ma, that shít just has to fúck you up! (although I must confess I would have a little nibble on them myself, she's pretty hot - but the important point is she's not my ma)

My mots cousin breastfed her daughter up to some stupid age, 5 or 6 - I always found it extremely weird!

Gwen Cooper · 01-07-2019 12:57pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Jaysus - that kids a bit old for the tit isn't he!

Babies - let them at it, but that fella will clearly remember sucking the diddies off his ma, that shít just has to fúck you up! (although I must confess I would have a little nibble on them myself, she's pretty hot - but the important point is she's not my ma)

My mots cousin breastfed her daughter up to some stupid age, 5 or 6 - I always found it extremely weird!

He's 3. I think it's still acceptable at around 2 or 3, but with different rules. That kid is already old enough to have something else to eat when out in public, so you wouldn't see many women feeding a child this old in a restaurant. At this age it's maybe a bit in the morning and a bit in the evening. But I could be wrong.

jam_mac_jam · 01-07-2019 12:59pm

It is extremely rare to feed kids that long though. So not really what you are going to encounter in public or private.

Outlaw Pete · 01-07-2019 1:04pm

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Well, this is AH after all. It's always been a sh*tposting cesspit.
Hate brown people, lefties, feminists, minorities? This is the place.

Hundreds of regular posters on AH, maybe three have an issue with public breastfeeding. Exaggerate much.

Why is breastfeeding in public acceptable?

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