Why is breastfeeding in public acceptable?

pwurple

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Because some women do look like they need a hand, not with the breastfeeding itself obviously but maybe a cup of tea or a newspaper or just a chat to get something off their chest.

But not their top, right? Keep that ON their chest. Cos otherwise it is attention seeking. And these incapacitated thirsty news deprived women you wander up to in cafes, that’s only breastfeeding, right? Bottle feeders can sort themselves out for newspapers and tea.

I also said that in my experience it’s appreciated, so while you might have no idea why a woman who is not you might need support, you can only speak for yourself, because you sure as hell can’t speak on behalf of all women, nor are you representative of all women, and all I can say is thank fcuk for that.

Is there some reason you think your words hold a scintilla more weight than mine?

Reviews and Books Galore

volchitsa wrote: »

Out of curiosity, where do you think the objections to breastfeeding in public actually come from? In people's minds, I mean?

Probably tied into both a cultural dislike of bodily functions and an apprehension of PDA.

The global south has the most amount of breastfeeding but also the most amount of public acceptance of burping, farting, coughing and other bodily functions. Compare that with cultures in the south that are more reserved towards Human "animal" behaviour and there is also more reserve towards breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is also an intimate moment of bonding. Yes, there's biting, its exhausting, and there are other elements, but it has been described as a bonding moment. I think that level if intamscy creeps people out. The same way father's from southern countries kissing their children on the lips would creep people out. ( I think that's a thing in Latin America? And it also creeps me out :P)

There may be an element of if "men see baby and boob turns into pedo/rapiat" but that's actually more of a surface level excuse IMO.

On a sidenote, I feel like there is a mild racism going on in the movement with the mention of natural and some mentions of tribal societies. You know, there is still social rules towards breastfeeding in the global south in the same way there are rules towards eating, drinking and other behaviours. Just a bit of a sidenote.

@Neyite

Well, I can't fault your honesty, but I can faulr your opinion.

A man isn't going to get jealous of a baby as it is a baby and, if there was a man low enough who would get jealous of a baby, I doubt it would be in regards to drinking milk.

Its pretty normal to be attracted to boobs by both men and women into women BTW.

ohnonotgmail

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

Probably tied into both a cultural dislike of bodily functions and an apprehension of PDA.

The global south has the most amount of breastfeeding but also the most amount of public acceptance of burping, farting, coughing and other bodily functions. Compare that with cultures in the south that are more reserved towards Human "animal" behaviour and there is also more reserve towards breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is also an intimate moment of bonding. Yes, there's biting, its exhausting, and there are other elements, but it has been described as a bonding moment. I think that level if intamscy creeps people out. The same way father's from southern countries kissing their children on the lips would creep people out. ( I think that's a thing in Latin America? And it also creeps me out :P)

There may be an element of if "men see baby and boob turns into pedo/rapiat" but that's actually more of a surface level excuse IMO.

On a sidenote, I feel like there is a mild racism going on in the movement with the mention of natural and some mentions of tribal societies. You know, there is still social rules towards breastfeeding in the global south in the same way there are rules towards eating, drinking and other behaviours. Just a bit of a sidenote.

@Neyite

Well, I can't fault your honesty, but I can faulr your opinion.

A man isn't going to get jealous of a baby as it is a baby and, if there was a man low enough who would get jealous of a baby, I doubt it would be in regards to drinking milk.

Its pretty normal to be attracted to boobs by both men and women into women BTW.

what exactly is the global south? has it suddenly become culturally homogenous and i didnt notice.

dr.fuzzenstein

To suggest that breastfeeding is not a normal, defacto, biologically preprogrammed default way of feeding a baby, one would have to be a dumb fcuk on par with flat earthers and gravity deniers.
It's trolling, pure and simple.
And the sky is green.

Lillyfae

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

what exactly is the global south? has it suddenly become culturally homogenous and i didnt notice.

Erm, there is cultural homogeneity according to geographical location, eg the "East/ West", Mediterranean bla bla bla. I understood perfectly what was meant, unnecessary to nitpick someone.

Phantasma

A lot of Mothers prefer to bottle feed even though breast feeding is best for their child, it's a shame. Breastfeeding should be more acceptable, not less.

Lillyfae

Phantasma wrote: »

A lot of Mothers prefer to bottle feed even though breast feeding is best for their child

This is true- it happens a lot that women who choose themselves to bottlefeed tell everyone that they weren't able to breastfeed in case they feel judged- perpetuating the myth that it's only for the lucky few who manage to do it. It's a tricky time, your mood is all over the place, it's hard to regulate your feelings and emotions. I remember returning to work with my milking paraphenalia in tow and everyone was mystified, some expressing (pardon the pun :pac:) the opinion that I must be doing it because it was cheaper than formula- no thought given to the 300 euro plus that I'd spent on the gear . Not to mention that I'd been using it 6 times a day since she was 2 weeks old to ensure the supply after I returned to work. Honest to god, the whole thing was horrific.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Are birth preparation courses a thing in Ireland? If not, they should be. Health providers in other European countries provide it for free. It's an investment as far as they are concerned. Breast milk is fantastic for the babies immune system.

Neyite

Naya Elegant Performance wrote: »

Are birth preparation courses a thing in Ireland? If not, they should be. Health providers in other European countries provide it for free. It's an investment as far as they are concerned. Breast milk is fantastic for the babies immune system.

Yes we have ante-natal classes. Part of that was also breastfeeding education factoring in the benefits of skin-to-skin and giving us resources to follow up with breastfeeding groups on our own if we wanted. If you choose to breastfeed then (in my hospital anyway) the midwives were very supportive and encouraging.

My only complaint would be that their knowledge and expertise was somewhat limited if they never breastfed themselves. Like a swimming teacher telling you how to swim but never actually swam themselves. It really is a skill that can only work if passed down the generations, and the best teachers to teach new mothers are other women who have successfully breastfed. I learned more from the breastfeeding mothers in my family who combined, breastfed a dozen children. Nearly all of them had encountered the common problems and were able to give me the heads up on what to do if it happened to me.

Lillyfae

Neyite wrote: »

It really is a skill that can only work if passed down the generations, and the best teachers to teach new mothers are other women who have successfully breastfed. I learned more from the breastfeeding mothers in my family who combined, breastfed a dozen children. Nearly all of them had encountered the common problems and were able to give me the heads up on what to do if it happened to me.

I agree to a certain extent. I think the nurses/ midwives in Ireland tend to be a bit matriarchal and know all and are fantastic at making people small and inadequate for their own satisfaction. My mother spent a couple of days with me when my baby was about 8 weeks old and she was convinced that every sound/ movement that she made was hunger. At that stage, after 8 weeks with my first baby, I knew more about reading signs etc than my mother did after having and nursing 6.

It was different for her. I had to know. I didn't have the luxury of a year off work with a baby stuck to my chest 24/7. I had to get the routine up and running and totally set in stone.

Free hand pumps, subsidised electric pumps and mandatory breaks to allow mother to pump/ feed baby. 25% of work time was what I was allowed, between that and remote working I managed, but barely. Most of it was single mindedness (and pigheadedness:p)

whatdoicare

Lillyfae wrote: »

Phantasma wrote: »

A lot of Mothers prefer to bottle feed even though breast feeding is best for their child

This is true- it happens a lot that women who choose themselves to bottlefeed tell everyone that they weren't able to breastfeed in case they feel judged

That's not true, I know a lot of women, myself included who for various reasons genuinely couldn't breastfeed. And each and every one of us was devastated by it. The guilt is horrendous.
I couldn't breastfeed because I had emergency surgery and my body went into shock. My milk just dried up and although I struggled through for a week trying to get my supply going it never happened and my baby lost too much weight. I was advised by my nurse to go with alternative feeding methods.
Other friends couldn't because they were on medication or their mental health was suffering.
Dont ever say that women use not being able as an excuse. That is pure judgemental ignorance. You don't know anyones reason for having to go with formula.

randd1

One of the stupidest threads I've ever seen on any discussion forum.

Apart from the obvious that a baby's need to feed is infinitely more important than someone's sensitivities, why in the hell would anyone complain about someone lobbing out their breast in public?

I just can't figure that one out.

Lillyfae

whatdoicare wrote: »

That's not true, I know a lot of women, myself included who for various reasons genuinely couldn't breastfeed. And each and every one of us was devastated by it. The guilt is horrendous.
I couldn't breastfeed because I had emergency surgery and my body went into shock. My milk just dried up and although I struggled through for a week trying to get my supply going it never happened and my baby lost too much weight. I was advised by my nurse to go with alternative feeding methods.
Other friends couldn't because they were on medication or their mental health was suffering.
Dont ever say that women use not being able as an excuse. That is pure judgemental ignorance. You don't know anyones reason for having to go with formula.

Excuse me, I think I covered that well enough in my post- I DID NOT say that there were NO CIRCUMSTANCES under which women are unable to breastfeed. I also covered it in a previous post. Please read before ranting.

whatdoicare

Lillyfae wrote: »

whatdoicare wrote: »

That's not true, I know a lot of women, myself included who for various reasons genuinely couldn't breastfeed. And each and every one of us was devastated by it. The guilt is horrendous.
I couldn't breastfeed because I had emergency surgery and my body went into shock. My milk just dried up and although I struggled through for a week trying to get my supply going it never happened and my baby lost too much weight. I was advised by my nurse to go with alternative feeding methods.
Other friends couldn't because they were on medication or their mental health was suffering.
Dont ever say that women use not being able as an excuse. That is pure judgemental ignorance. You don't know anyones reason for having to go with formula.

Excuse me, I think I covered that well enough in my post- I DID NOT say that there were NO CIRCUMSTANCES under which women are unable to breastfeed. I also covered it in a previous post. Please read before ranting.

It doesnt matter a jot what explanations you give or circumstances you find acceptable. It was a very ignorant throw away comment you made and you really shouldn't have made it.
Its judgemental bs to say anything along those lines.

ct5amr2ig1nfhp

I had to laugh reading the title. Breastfeeding rates in Ireland are abysmal at less than 50%. And only a very small fraction of that breast feed in public. yep "all the rage" indeed.

One of the biggest issues is the lack of support in the hospitals. Young nurses especially putting 'the fear' into new mothers that their babies will starve without a bottle. It's a constant push to feed a baby bottles. It's really disheartening to hear nurses spout the same BS to new mothers. The hospitals are happy to hand out free bottles of formula but won't supply nipple cream (e.g. lansinoh) for example. Not enough lactation consultants. You're lucky to get 10 mins with one etc etc.

Second would be lack of support from the new parents family, the mother/grandmother in particular. "I didn't do it, so you don't need to do it" attitude. Making new mothers feel "odd" because she wants to breastfeed.

The likes of Cuidiú etc. provide incredible support services to breast feeding mothers.

the beer revolu

whatdoicare wrote: »

It was a very ignorant throw away comment you made and you really shouldn't have made it.
Its judgemental bs to say anything along those lines.

Even if what they said is true?
(which I believe it is)

Lillyfae

whatdoicare wrote: »

It was a very ignorant throw away comment you made and you really shouldn't have made it.

I was judged. I was judged before I had my baby and had plenty of women who breastfed for a few days trying to convince me that I shouldn't even bother trying because it wouldn't "work" for me just like it hadn't "worked" for them. At the time I read a magazine article about 6 women who breastfed, except the longest time period was 5 weeks. I was judged by a mother at a mother and toddler group just recently on a rare Wednesday morning I took off because our childcare fell through who was still breastfeeding her 2 year old when I'm not breastfeeding mine.

You know who I wasn't judged by? A couple of friends of mine who didn't breastfeed their babies and never had any intention of doing so. They were supportive to the extreme, in their words and actions. They made a choice and were honest and happy about it, and it made me feel like I also had the freedom to choose. What I did was my choice, and I can't tell you how difficult it was. It drove me to the point of a nervous breakdown because even though I had the best possible support it still wasn't enough, for something that most women shouldn't have to worry about. My mental health suffered because of a lack of support and other people's judgement- from all sides of the fence.

I wouldn't dream of telling any other woman what to do. If they want advice from me they can ask and I will be honest. I'm sorry if you wanted to and couldn't, but don't accuse me of making "throwaway" comments about a social, and quite frankly public health, stigma that almost destroyed me. I have given enough context to my posts and if you wish to throw that away then that's on you.

the beer revolu wrote: »

Even if what they said is true?
(which I believe it is)

Thank you.

relax carry on

Jesus, this ranks up there with the dumbest threads I've ever seen posted. I can only hope that the OP is a troll as the alternative is depressing.

shesty

Really the answer to your question OP is why is breastfeeding in public NOT acceptable?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

To suggest that breastfeeding is not a normal, defacto, biologically preprogrammed default way of feeding a baby, one would have to be a dumb fcuk on par with flat earthers and gravity deniers.
It's trolling, pure and simple.
And the sky is green.

I’m still stunned that somebody on this thread said that breastfeeding wasn’t what nature intended. Colostrum is literally tailored for the needs of a neonate, both nutritionally and immunologically. I’d agree that it was trolling except that it makes the troll seem incredibly uneducated on the topic.

I’d just like to point out that I don’t judge women who don’t breastfeed though. I know there are reasons not to.