Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

The bald fella behind Selby's chair is driving me nuts.

He's at the snooker every year with his Wimbledon jersey (he's changed into a t-shirt now) and he just pisses me off something fierce.I have absolutely no idea why but he just strikes me as a grade A wanker.

Hop a pint bottle off the TV .....you'll feel better after that!!

People who spit on the street

Witnessing this is a regular occurrence for me

People who blow their nose in a restaurant, you can literally hear the snot hitting the tissue, it's absolutely gross and puts me right off my food

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

The bald fella behind Selby's chair is driving me nuts.

He's at the snooker every year with his Wimbledon jersey (he's changed into a t-shirt now) and he just pisses me off something fierce.I have absolutely no idea why but he just strikes me as a grade A wanker.

Gwynplaine wrote: »

Grown men in soccer jerseys. Watching the snooker here and I can see at least 4 people in the audience in soccer jerseys. They even mentioned it at the interval. I automatically think they're a wanker. Unless you're playing soccer, or at a match, don't wear it. And the fools who refer to their beloved team as "us" and "we", have never even been in England, I avoid them like the plague.

I noticed that as well last night, I always thought they'd have a "no brand" policy for audience/spectator policy in place, it's essentially free advertising during a decent time slot.

People who let their kids terrorise restaurants and other public areas.

micar wrote: »

Did a road race today......10 km.

The start is split into groups based on expected times

People who put themselves in a group way beyond their ability. You end up starting slow and trying to pass people out.....prevented me doing a time I was hoping to achieve...

.bloody muppets ****

Did a 5km race a couple of years ago. Some people put themselves a couple of groups from the front and then start walking the course 4 or 5 people along. Then getting all thick when people gave them a hard time for blocking the course.

On a separate note, when I was getting driving lessons, the obnoxious pr!ck of an instructor seemed to be unable to keep his mouth shut for longer than 5 seconds. The icing on the cake was when he started lecturing me for not being married and having kids yet. Trying to concentrate on navigating busy streets while someone is telling me that my life is passing me by.

So basically, people who cant mind their own effing business

Old people who use ATMs for things that take an unfathomable amount of time. Put your card in and get your money out like the rest of us you crusty, old, coffin-dodging pricks.

pgj2015 wrote: »

i was in aldi once, i had 1 item, the couple in front of me had 2 trolleys full of stuff, their bill came to 460 euro. they didn't even think about letting me go first id say.

Anyone in a shopping queue with one or two items, who stands in my breathing space as I am loading up my weekly shop onto the belt. I have no bother letting someone go ahead of me, if they ask. But don't stand in my space expecting me to check out how much shopping you have while I am organising my own. Just ask, don't skulk around, use your voice.

Muahahaha wrote: »

Why don't you just offer for them to go ahead of you? Is it that hard? You sound like you are blaming them for being polite and not asking. I'd never ask as someone might be in a genuine hurry to get home but if its offered I always accept, say thanks and then say thanks again as I've got my change from the cashier.

I have been loading my weekly shop when I've had people behind me 'tut tutting' and sighing heavily as they've stomped off. Only as they are in the process of this have I realised they are carrying only an item or two. They make me feel bad for not noticing! Seriously, if I notice then I guess I would let someone go ahead but if I don't well then it's not my problem. Seriously, if they ask politely and I am in some sort of apocalyptic hurry I will politely explain but usually it's no bother. I would never blame anyone for manners, that'd be wankerish. But don't get the hump because I am checking that my eggs don't get squashed by my potatoes instead of checking how many items you have in your basket.

The King of Moo wrote: »

Also queue-related: when a new checkout is opened in a shop or supermarket, and the cashier calls "next," which to w**kers apparently sounds identical to "the last person in the very long queue please, and make sure to run so no-one gets ahead of you!"

What do you think should happen?

I think ideally people near the front should get it but it would be a right mess putting all their stuff back in and battling backthrough the often narrow section. So I have no idea how to do it more fairly.

In my lidl when a queue gets too long a cashier rings a bell and a till opens soon enough. Everybody has copped onto this so when you hear a bell everyone is like meerkats looking for the new till, and not putting stuff down on the conveyor so they can run off easy.

In a aldi near me they have lights up and possibly had timers indicating which till was due to open next.

I did suggest having a special fast queue for people who know how to get through quickly. You swipe a clubcard to get in past a gate to get near this conveyor. If you hold up the queue fussing with change etc you loose your priveleges and are not allowed in the next time -back to the chatting grannies with you. If you prove to be fast in the regular queues again you get back in.

rubadub wrote: »

What do you think should happen?

I think ideally people near the front should get it but it would be a right mess putting all their stuff back in and battling backthrough the often narrow section. So I have no idea how to do it more fairly.

In my lidl when a queue gets too long a cashier rings a bell and a till opens soon enough. Everybody has copped onto this so when you hear a bell everyone is like meerkats looking for the new till, and not putting stuff down on the conveyor so they can run off easy.

In a aldi near me they have lights up and possibly had timers indicating which till was due to open next.

I did suggest having a special fast queue for people who know how to get through quickly. You swipe a clubcard to get in past a gate to get near this conveyor. If you hold up the queue fussing with change etc you loose your priveleges and are not allowed in the next time -back to the chatting grannies with you. If you prove to be fast in the regular queues again you get back in.

The cashier should make sure that the first person at the queue who hasn't put their goods on the belt is called over first.



It's really that simple, all it takes is about ten seconds extra and a bit of common sense.

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Old people who use ATMs for things that take an unfathomable amount of time. Put your card in and get your money out like the rest of us you crusty, old, coffin-dodging pricks.

could comfortably dedicate this entire thread in your name after this post :rolleyes: