How do men feel when women cry?

Depends what your crying at. If its something that I feel is genuinely sad then I dunno what to do. I generally give that person a hug. My wife has started crying at stuff like animal welfare videos or something and I think thats stupid so I react like your friends husband and your own. Generally tut and roll my eyes.

The most awkward one is where a work colleague starts bawling... you cant give em a hug and you cant give out so i tend to just ignore it or fake a concerned face.

Overall if I judge a female to be crying at something I feel is stupid i think "oh god what is she whinging at now." if its something i deem to be sad or worthwhile crying over ill do my upmost to make you feel happy and fix whatever it is to make you sad.

It can often be frustrating when the gf cries because theres not much I can do about it except be physically present most times. I wouldnt in a million years show this frustration though.

if I cry over something, which isn't often as I bottle things up, he tends to sigh and tut and get frustrated

her husband gets angry and gives out causing an argument

Pair of real catches there.

I would understand it if she started crying because her nail broke or her eyeliner wasn't perfect, but do ye really get angry at a woman crying?

I'm not sure if that's more damaging to women's mental health or to men's.

If she cries because she is wrong or losing an argument/discussion it is cheating....

My oh would cry at something like 'Long Lost relatives' or something intentionally weep-baiting like that.
I find it endearing. If she lost a friend to suicide then that's a different matter.

The friend committed suicide and she has been crying to express her grief.
The husband sounds like a self absorbed dickhead tbh.

Frowzy wrote: »

Ok, so I'm looking for different opinions about men's reactions when women cry. My friend and I were discussing this recently. My friend has been crying a lot recently over a mutual friend who died by suicide. When she cries her husband gets angry and gives out causing an argument which makes her cry even more.

My husband is the same, if I cry over something, which isn't often as I bottle things up, he tends to sigh and tut and get frustrated.

Why can't we cry without being made to feel guilty about it? Is it a protective thing or do men genuinely find it annoying?

OP, I largely think its because most men are not very good at processing thier emotions. So when one pops up, one we can't deal with, the usual reaction is to become angry at whatever outside of us is 'causing it'.
A woman crying is no different than a red light, or a dog barking. Just something outside of ourselves doing what its doing, and we as people having internal fear that we don't know how to handle.

In the specific case of crying, we often can feel helpless to help. We can't make you feel better, and we feel bad or uncomfortable that you are upset. Really its just a reflection of our powerlessness and our own inability to sit comfortably with ourselves whilst someone is in pain.
Theres no skill teaching for most men so we have no idea what to do.

There is also alot of societal conditioning that we should be doing a better job, keeping 'our' woman safe and happy etc. When we 'fail' at this, its a massive assault to our identity, and therefore we get defensive and angry at the perceived source of it. You..rather than ourselves.

The same is true for women doing the crying. Your not being made to feel guilty about crying, anymore than the man is being made to feel angry or scared. In the same way, you find it hard to stop yourself from feeling guilty by partially believing you are making your partner angry, he is also finding it hard to not feel scared or guilty by watching you sad/upset.

It's all rubbish learning and conditioning though. Its a pattern that constantly gets played out to everyone detriment. It takes a long time to work through the stuff that enforces it. eg: the woman has to want the man to not be upset when she is up. Often this is called uncaring. So she pressures him into it by using guilt. The man then also needs to stop pressuring the woman into not expressing and repressing her feelings, and stop considering it as part of his identity/role. Neither are good people by being upset about the others upset, and neither are bad people by not being upset. Both just need to learn to let go of the roles they expect/demand from each other.

*Excuse the gender stereotyped roles, its just easier explaining referencing them. They're complete rubbish too.

I do get frustrated but its more a frustration at myself and not being able to prevent it happening. I dont show my frustration as that will only add to the issue.

Can't understand anyone who gets angry at someone else for crying. Whatever's gone down may not have been enough to turn on your waterworks but it obviously was for them. Everyone has different thresholds for this stuff.