Fat, unattractive and let myself go

power pants · 12-02-2016 09:49PM

I see. Didnt see the 2nd post, my mistake

bluetomato · 12-02-2016 10:46PM

woodchuck wrote: »

I'm genuinely SHOCKED at some of the comments on here defending the OPs husband..

The OP posted as a guest and for some reason the moderator didn't approve it for ages and so a lot of us were responding just to the original post which didn't give enough detail.

njs030 · 13-02-2016 12:48AM

Theamia wrote: »

Thanks for the replies,

I'm still really annoyed so I actually just checked my BMI its 21.4 so definitely not overweight. BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9 (Normal Weight) I'm the same as any other female friend I know sure when its the time of the month the average female can gain 1-6 pounds due to water retention.

He knows how stressed and busy I was in Dec/Jan working 60 hour + weeks due to Christmas period and extra work, I'm literally just getting time to do anything other than work and sleep so not sure where I was supposed to pack in exercise in the last few months.

No we were not fighting at the time, we had a fight at the weekend (we don't actually fight much believe it or not) and he said something along the lines that I had a fat gut or something like that cant remember the exact words. I didn't even bother acknowledging it as he usually throws something like that in a middle of a fight. Fight was something stupid that was blown out of proportion by both of us and was sorted. I said to him last night that I didn't really like how he always makes comments like that during fights so that's what prompted the "conversation" last night.

I Have barely spoke to him since except to say how disgusted I am at him, he is defending himself by saying I took it up wrong. Not sure how I could have taken up the fact that he called me fat, unattractive with the extra weight and that I have let myself go.

As far as I'm concerned at the minute he is being a d**khead..

Guest16

This is the second post.

Op that changes everything, it's a horrible way to treat someone you love and he needs to grow up asap before you take your unfat gut out the door.

Goat Paddock · 14-02-2016 09:35AM

It's quite easy to put on a bit of weight,especially if your working long hours and especially if it's a desk job! Six pounds is not much at all though.

You say you were working sixty hour weeks, I can relate to how hard that can be, is it a desk job or an active job? I find with a desk job with long hours your mentally exhausted yet you don't get any exercise! At least working as a bar person or similar your doing alot of walking and moving on your feet which at the end of the day leaves you physically tired but also potentially more able to control your appetite (in my experience of working both a desk job and somewhat active job).

But again six pounds is nothing, with a bad diet and lack of exercise you could pack on sixty pounds (about one pound a week!) over a year never mind six...

suggest your husband does a stressful sixty hour desk job and see how easy it is for him to keep in shape...

Neon_Lights · 14-02-2016 09:40AM

What do you want to do OP? If you wanna lose a few work for it, if not then be like why do you put yourself under so much pressure OH? It's not that hard a problem really, its just that he stepped over the control boundary

Emme · 14-02-2016 08:21PM

If the OP was working 60+ hour weeks and was under constant stress any weight she would put on (however minuscule) would be likely to go on her belly. The reason for this is that people under stress produce more cortisol and excess cortisol can cause weight gain even if a person's diet hasn't changed. If they aren't doing as much exercise as usual and working harder at a desk this is a recipe for disaster. If the stress is short term the person will lose the weight again with a little effort. Here's a link explaining the process:
http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fit/lose-weight/belly-fat-and-cortisol-connection

The OP's husband should not be saying she has a "fat gut". A considerate husband would take into account how hard she was working and maybe prepare a healthy meal or suggest a brisk walk together.

Milly33 · 15-02-2016 02:51PM

OMG I hope you laced his coffee or milk with laxitives and stopped doing his washing...

Sounds like he is being a bit of a dick to be honest.. I do understand that it is nice for him to tell you maybe if he thinks you are letting yourself go, but nicely not with childish comments like this during fights..

Really sorry OP it doesn't sound like the honeymoon is still going...Maybe there is something deeper there that he is pissed off about, doesn't give him the right to treat you like this though under no circumstances.. Have you tried to talk to him again and explain that saying stuff like this makes you feel bad, that fine ye can talk about it but no snide remarks...

Its weird marriage changes some people just be careful

Neyite · 15-02-2016 04:46PM

Milly33 wrote: »

OMG I hope you laced his coffee or milk with laxitives and stopped doing his washing...

Mod:

It sounds like you are joking, however on the internet it can be hard to tell. Therefore we don't allow even jokes of this kind to be suggested.

Milly33 · 16-02-2016 12:42PM

bit OTT but ok

Katgurl · 16-02-2016 12:58PM

Your partner should not call you names because he's angry; the fat gut comment in the heat of an argument is like something that would be said between teenage siblings. Now because you called him on it, he is trying to make out it wasn't just a hurtful jibe that he is actually concerned about your attitude to health and fitness. So not only is he being nasty and immature, he's stubborn to boot.

With a BMI of 21/22 there's no way you are overweight for a start. Even if you were, there would be no excuse for how he has attacked you.

I'm sorry but I think he is being a complete prat. You need to let him know this sort of stuff is not acceptable.

Distorted · 16-02-2016 01:13PM

6lbs over Christmas? Even Olympic athletes can put on more weight than that over the winter! What is this guy, some sort of internationally renowned male model? What would he do if you got ill or injured and put on weight because you couldn't be as active as usual?

As a one-off throwaway remark, its bad enough. But given that you've been together for years and he should be realistic about normal changes in bodyweight, I'd be wondering who else he was comparing me to. And clearly after all this time, your eating habits can't be that bad if you're still a size 10. Some people do get very obsessed over food, and project that obsession onto other people. Theres a man in my yoga class who will intone at length on his exacting habits of healthy eating. He's in his sixties, stringy looking with little muscle tone, and single. Most people avoid him...

Lavinia · 16-04-2016 01:53PM

OP, did he actually triggered your own fears / thoughts?
If he said you took him wrong is there a chance you did?

Sorry for asking but just to clarify it.

Emme · 16-04-2016 02:01PM

Lavinia wrote: »

OP, did he actually triggered your own fears / thoughts?
If he said you took him wrong is there a chance you did?

Sorry for asking but just to clarify it.

Did you read the whole thread? She only put on 6lbs over the winter. She may well have lost it by now, the last person posted 2 months ago.

Lavinia · 16-04-2016 02:12PM

Emme wrote: »

Did you read the whole thread? She only put on 6lbs over the winter. She may well have lost it by now, the last person posted 2 months ago.

I did read. Just wondered so thought to ask - if only for elimination purposes. Not accusing or defending anyone.

dudara · 16-04-2016 04:32PM

@Lavinia - please note the the last reply is from over 2 months ago.

I'm closing the thread now. If the OP does return and wants to reopen the thread, they can contact one of the mod team

dudara

Fat, unattractive and let myself go

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