Stupid stuff my dog barks at!!

mayobumblebee · 14-01-2016 11:00am #1

So I got a dog and he's lovely partially because he's stupid so I want to hear about the stupid stuff your dog barks at my list so far
Inmate objects are funniest

A bin bag
A couch
The moon
Slippers

galljga1 · 14-01-2016 11:02am

Are you allowed pets in prison?

Jawgap · 14-01-2016 11:03am

Me.

My 2, when they bark, bark at me in a 'God-how-did-you-get-to-be-our-owner' kind of way.

Jawgap · 14-01-2016 11:03am

galljga1 wrote: »

Are you allowed pets in prison?

Yes, budgies......

El Guapo! · 14-01-2016 11:04am

His food.
He won't eat it out of the bowl. I have to pour it on the ground for him.

And then if it's in a pile on the floor he'll bark at that too. It needs to be spread out a bit for him.
He's a simpleton.

gramar · 14-01-2016 11:05am

mayobumblebee wrote: »

So I got a dog and he's lovely partially because he's stupid so I want to hear about the stupid stuff your dog barks at my list so far
Inmate objects are funniest

A bin bag
A couch
The moon
Slippers

You sure that's not howling?

TitianGerm · 14-01-2016 11:08am

Everything. My dogs bark at everything.

They've also taken to barking at nothing

kylith · 14-01-2016 11:10am

Mine barked in her sleep and woke herself up. Then she figured that she must have been barking at something and went off on a bit of a session. Daft creature.

Duggy747 · 14-01-2016 11:10am

The usual answer some people I know have is that they see "spirits" or cancer.

Damn ghouls and cancer hanging around my bins!

gramar · 14-01-2016 11:10am

He loves putting his ball into places he can't get it. Like under the car...in a pile of stones..in the top of the watering can. Then he barks for help. You get the ball, give it to him and he's done it again before you've turned your back.

shakencat · 14-01-2016 11:11am

one of my dogs is lovely, pretty, happy, loves hugs

the other however...

you cuddle, he jumps around to play
He's handsome but devious
he eats my make up brushes
he ate a colander yesterday :O

When he sleeps, he's hella cute though...

But he paws my face. and it hurts.

shakencat · 14-01-2016 11:12am

gramar wrote: »

He loves putting his ball into places he can't get it. Like under the car...in a pile of stones..in the top of the watering can. Then he barks for help. You get the ball, give it to him and he's done it again before you've turned your back.

hahaha mine throws it around.. and gets it under the couch and i can barely get it out. how does he get it under!!

Zulu · 14-01-2016 11:16am

Any of the larger birds that fly over our garden - pigeons or magpies. She really hates fu*king magpie. Like really really. If there was such as thing as a magpie deathcamp, she'd be the commandant.
She's cool with the song birds, so fair play to her.
The door bell after the kids go to bed. Fine in the day, but once the kids go to bed she has a ****fit. I'd suspect its her way of telling whoever it is to shutup, which is great and all except for the obvious.

mayobumblebee · 14-01-2016 11:17am

gramar wrote: »

You sure that's not howling?

Absolutely sure it would be awesome if he howled but no its a wimpy bark

wp_rathead · 14-01-2016 11:24am

Had one that would bark at our ponies for hours - then if the pony would look at her she would leg it back inside and hide

kneemos · 14-01-2016 11:32am

Zulu wrote: »

Any of the larger birds that fly over our garden - pigeons or magpies. She really hates fu*king magpie. Like really really. If there was such as thing as a magpie deathcamp, she'd be the commandant.
She's cool with the song birds, so fair play to her.
The door bell after the kids go to bed. Fine in the day, but once the kids go to bed she has a ****fit. I'd suspect its her way of telling whoever it is to shutup, which is great and all except for the obvious.

Used to have a dog that hated Crows,I suspect they probably had a go at him when he was asleep outside.

smash · 14-01-2016 11:35am

My dog barks at her arse when she farts.

pheasant tail · 14-01-2016 11:37am

It's hilarious when my dog hears another dog barking on the tele and he starts barking and trying to jump out the window thinking it's outside

ScumLord · 14-01-2016 11:49am

I'll remember this thread when some poor sod starts a thread on his neighbours dog barking for no reason and everyone berates the neighbour for not controlling their dog.

Kiwi in IE · 14-01-2016 11:54am

Our dog is outside when we are out, so she has an outside kennel with a bed in it. Recently we thew out her old bed from the kennel because it looked a bit manky, and put a new bed in it. She barked at it and refused to go in the kennel for days. Even staying outside in the rain while we were out for a couple of hours one day, rather than go in the kennel with the new bed. This was about 2 weeks ago and she now seems to have got over whatever her issue was and will go in the kennel again.

A Brad Maddox Guy · 14-01-2016 12:05pm

Mine goes mental when someone in a hi-vis jacket walks by because she thinks they're delivering post. She thinks all post is hers and will bark loudly whenever I get to it before her.

Kiwi in IE · 14-01-2016 12:10pm

smash wrote: »

My dog barks at her arse when she farts.

Hahaha mine looks at her arse in a confused fashion if someone else farts.

Xaracatz · 14-01-2016 12:34pm

Our dog barks when somebody turns on a table light. Just one bark as if to say "I'm watching you table light. Don't be trying any funny business".

Fratton Fred · 14-01-2016 12:41pm

A Brad Maddox Guy wrote: »

Mine goes mental when someone in a hi-vis jacket walks by because she thinks they're delivering post. She thinks all post is hers and will bark loudly whenever I get to it before her.

That's because all postman are axe wielding homicidal maniacs who drop bombs through the letter box.

Signed:

Fred's dog.

redbel05 · 14-01-2016 12:46pm

My dog is extremely quiet. So much so I that for almost 6 months after we got her we had not heard a peep out if her bar the odd sigh.
All that changed when i had an empty bottle that I was crushing to put in the bin that happened to hiss a little. Couldn't believe that she had barked so made it hiss again and she lost the plot. Running in circles and barking at the stupid bottle. Gave it to her and she took the cap off and then looked all proud like she had beheaded the monster.

Also clothes pegs, especially if you show her them opening and closing.

the evasion_kid · 14-01-2016 12:55pm

his reflection,weve a glasshouse at the end of the garden and anytime he catches his reflection in it he spends the next hour barking at himself,still hasnt copped its him down to the same movements

neil_ · 14-01-2016 2:29pm

gramar wrote: »

He loves putting his ball into places he can't get it. Like under the car...in a pile of stones..in the top of the watering can. Then he barks for help. You get the ball, give it to him and he's done it again before you've turned your back.

Normally the game of fetch operates by the human putting the ball somewhere and the dog getting it. It seems your pet has got the upper hand (or paw) on you

gramar · 14-01-2016 2:33pm

neil_ wrote: »

Normally the game of fetch operates by the human putting the ball somewhere and the dog getting it. It seems your pet has got the upper hand (or paw) on you

I merely exist for their amusement.

Duff · 14-01-2016 2:42pm

My dog HAM at the hoover when I'm cleaning the house. Same for the jet of water from the hose when I'm cleaning the car. Aim the hose at him however and he absolutely pegs it back inside and barks from the hallway while cowering behind the front door.

Noodles81 · 14-01-2016 4:30pm

Kiwi in IE wrote: »

Hahaha mine looks at her arse in a confused fashion if someone else farts.

Haha so does mine...and spends a considerable amount of time searching for how the offensive sound escaped her unnoticed!

OldNotWIse · 14-01-2016 4:33pm

When she barks at the doorbell while we are standing outside the house waiting for someone to answer :rolleyes:

Whitewinged · 14-01-2016 4:54pm

When I was a kid, our old family dog would bark and jump at the back door about 5 minutes before one of the family members would come home. He knew they were coming home before they were even near the door.

ScumLord · 14-01-2016 5:30pm

Whitewinged wrote: »

When I was a kid, our old family dog would bark and jump at the back door about 5 minutes before one of the family members would come home. He knew they were coming home before they were even near the door.

This phenomenon was looked into. Turns out the dog just has a good internal clock and know their masters schedule. Once you move that schedule they haven't a clue when you'll be back.

Baraics Pollox · 14-01-2016 5:35pm

I've a Jack Russell who barks at random stuff on the tv; horses, dogs but most unusually anyone who isn't white Caucasian. He's basically racist. He even goes behind the tv to have a look.

With certain ads, the Specsavers sheepdog ad, he hears the music and charges in from the other room to bark at the tv.

Mad yoke.

Wompa1 · 14-01-2016 6:33pm

Whitewinged wrote: »

When I was a kid, our old family dog would bark and jump at the back door about 5 minutes before one of the family members would come home. He knew they were coming home before they were even near the door.

I live in a third floor apartment and work from home. My fiance usually gets home around 5:30pm...usually around 5:20 our dog hops on the couch to look out the window. She can't tell by the car but over in the US when you lock your car and the horn makes a noise. She knows that noise. When she hears it, she'll start her little cry. When she sees my fiance walk around the corner she loses her sh1t.

Meanwhile, when she was a bit younger, I said it must be nice to get that kind of reaction. My fiance said if I left she would react the same way. So, I went out for a walk for a few minutes. When I came back in, she got into a pouncing position and started to bark at me. Little c*nt!

shamrock2004 · 14-01-2016 6:55pm

mayobumblebee wrote: »

So I got a dog and he's lovely partially because he's stupid so I want to hear about the stupid stuff your dog barks at my list so far
Inmate objects are funniest

A bin bag
A couch
The moon
Slippers

How do you know he's barking at the moon?

gazzer · 14-01-2016 7:01pm

One of mine loses her rag if she sees a balloon.

Ray Palmer · 14-01-2016 7:17pm

One howls at the end of Law and Order.

Gandalph · 14-01-2016 7:39pm

I once seen a dog being walked on a fairly busy street ignoring all foot traffic until it spotted a postman and went barking mad. Postman casually looks at the dog in passing and says "They always know". Comment was met with rings of laughter from all around.

LittleMuppet · 14-01-2016 8:02pm

The Hoover - He hates it and will bite it and growl at it when its on or off. If I've the hairdryer going, he'll bark and bark at me until I 'dry' him with it. He barks at his arse when he farts. He used to bark at your one Niamh in Fair City. He barks at his doggy brother when he farts.

He basically just likes to bark at everything and nothing. Noisy hoor.

Lucyfur · 14-01-2016 8:37pm

Awwww I only heard my dog bark for the first time the other day. He barked at a very beautiful collie puppy who was across the roads from him. He barks like a girl doggy tho so it's probably best he doesn't do it often.

esforum · 14-01-2016 9:01pm

our front door when it opens, even when its us going in!

15-01-2016 12:29am

Baraics Pollox wrote: »

I've a Jack Russell who barks at random stuff on the tv; horses, dogs but most unusually anyone who isn't white Caucasian. He's basically racist. He even goes behind the tv to have a look.

With certain ads, the Specsavers sheepdog ad, he hears the music and charges in from the other room to bark at the tv.

My dog is the exact same bar the racist part....I think. Barks at anything with 4 legs on TV. Could even be animated.

He could be out the back garden and the whistle alone at the start of that specsavers ad would have him sprinting to the sitting room ready to give out to the TV sheep. The TV is next to the front window so he'd have a look outside the way yours goes in behind. In some ways he's smart but when he's stupid he's retarded.

madmaggie · 15-01-2016 12:32am

A little off topic, but my dog only barks in her sleep.

mayobumblebee · 15-01-2016 12:35pm

shamrock2004 wrote: »

How do you know he's barking at the moon?

He climbs the couch and looks up at it and starts barking he goes outside and then barks some more then back in this goes on for about 20 Mins not sure why it's only certain times

OldNotWIse · 15-01-2016 12:43pm

My dog sings (howls) to the angelus.

There's a god botherer in every house I guess :rolleyes:

razorblunt · 15-01-2016 12:53pm

The foxy kid from 2 doors down, like a proper stand, stare and bark. Just that one kid though.

"Obrigada". Not obrigado, or obrigad. Just that exact word.

riffmongous · 15-01-2016 2:00pm

razorblunt wrote: »

The foxy kid from 2 doors down, like a proper stand, stare and bark. Just that one kid though.

"Obrigada". Not obrigado, or obrigad. Just that exact word.

Is your dog a portuguese woman?

Mesrine65 · 15-01-2016 2:03pm

My two bark & basically go ape-shit if they hear motorcycles, they think it's the lads coming to visit.

JustShon · 15-01-2016 2:25pm

Doesn't do it anymore but my dog used to bark at the local church bells. We started calling him the heretic puppy until he stopped.

These days he barks at horses on the telly, not other dogs though; just horses.

Whitewinged · 15-01-2016 3:13pm

ScumLord wrote: »

This phenomenon was looked into. Turns out the dog just has a good internal clock and know their masters schedule. Once you move that schedule they haven't a clue when you'll be back.

Yea in this case I don't think it was that. I wasn't saying he was psychic or anything

it's hard to explain the layout of our house but this happened when he was in the back garden. In order to get to our front door, you had to walk on a path that was parallel to our garden but still quite some distance away, 4 or 5 other gardens with high walls and then around to the front of the house. I guess he knew our footsteps or something.

Stupid stuff my dog barks at!!

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