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Female Judge assaulted at family law court - Please see post #96.

124

Comments

  • #92
    Knine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,781 ✭✭✭Knine


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Keep a diary, make a note of what happened, or make notes on a calendar...will be very useful if he seeks to increase access in the future and you have details of all the times he failed to turn up.

    No danger unfortunately of him wanting to increase access but if he did I would very happy for my daughter.

    I have all the details and often he goes for mths without seeing her hence I won't bother with the reply above. There are 2 sides to every story indeed & then there is truth - email after email of access cancellations.


  • #93
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    I thought Dolphin House was in Dolphin's Barn. Is there another Dolphin House out there which is a block of flats? Edit: there is, in Rialto.
    eviltwin wrote: »
    He had intellectual issues. His parents were there to get a safety order against him. He apparently kicked the judge a few times in the head. I hope she's okay.
    It's interesting the way pretty much everyone (including me) assumed he was a father fighting for his parental rights.
    SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »
    As a father you can take my home my job my car all my money but try and take away me seeing my kids everyday

    Don't know what happened but it might have been the last straw for that man
    It's interesting you posted that after a few posts about what was actually going on.
    WHIP IT! wrote: »
    Yep, and we've just heard your side...

    Having a casual pop at unmarried fathers is one of the last remaining acceptable forms of prejudice in modern society... hopefully not forever...
    Who had a casual pop at unmarried fathers?


  • #94
    Knine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,781 ✭✭✭Knine


    Dolphin House is a building just off the Quays near Temple Bar. Mainly Family Law cases are heard there.


  • #95
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Knine wrote: »
    No danger unfortunately of him wanting to increase access but if he did I would very happy for my daughter.

    I have all the details and often he goes for mths without seeing her hence I won't bother with the reply above. There are 2 sides to every story indeed & then there is truth - email after email of access cancellations.

    Tbh I've often felt like giving my experience (similar to your own access wise) in threads about father's rights and how women have all the rights but I know its just not worth the frustration. With rights come responsibilities and some people conveniently forget that.

    Your daughter has a mam who loves and cares for her and it'd be lovely if her dad would do the same but she has you and sounds like you're doing great.


  • #96
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45,447 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    ford2600 wrote: »
    He must have been a joy to live with.

    Doubt today was the first day he crossed "you don't hit a woman line".

    What a cnut

    This sort of comment is unhelpful.

    Please bear in mind that this individual has an intellectual disability before posting such comments.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



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  • #97
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    Tasden wrote: »
    Tbh I've often felt like giving my experience (similar to your own access wise) in threads about father's rights and how women have all the rights but I know its just not worth the frustration. With rights come responsibilities and some people conveniently forget that.

    Your daughter has a mam who loves and cares for her and it'd be lovely if her dad would do the same but she has you and sounds like you're doing great.
    And you and Knine talking about your experiences is not implicitly negating the fact that there are other mothers who aren't fit to parent, and plenty of fathers whom their children would be better off with.


  • #98
    Knine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,781 ✭✭✭Knine


    Azalea wrote: »
    And you and Knine talking about your experiences is not implicitly negating the fact that there are other mothers who aren't fit to parent, and plenty of fathers whom their children would be better off with.

    Yes of course there are BOTH mothers & fathers who are not fit to parent. The court option is open to either parent. If a parent feels that a judge has not ruled in the best interests of the children, then there is a fantastic appeals process. Unfortunately some parents only think of their own interests.


  • #99
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    Tasden wrote: »
    Tbh I've often felt like giving my experience (similar to your own access wise) in threads about father's rights and how women have all the rights but I know its just not worth the frustration. With rights come responsibilities and some people conveniently forget that.

    Your daughter has a mam who loves and cares for her and it'd be lovely if her dad would do the same but she has you and sounds like you're doing great.

    I have 12 years of experience of both sides of these sad stories
    In the vast majority of cases I come across, in particular with young fathers, they persue access under pressure from their own immediate family, or in revenge for having been pursued for maintenance themselves, or in a fit of jealousy when the mother of their child meets a new partner
    The levels of unreliability are unreal
    Turning up to collect children hours late or not at all
    Abandoning the kids with family members in order to "socialise"
    Not sticking to diets routines or simple to follow rules
    I can only think of 2 or 3 young dads in all this time who were actually suitable parents


  • #100
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Azalea wrote: »
    And you and Knine talking about your experiences is not implicitly negating the fact that there are other mothers who aren't fit to parent, and plenty of fathers whom their children would be better off with.

    Nope it doesn't. But saying the courts always favour the mother and that women have all the rights in family courts is simply not true. Fathers in this country, especially unmarried fathers, have huge battles when it comes to access and custody and it is unbelievably unfair, but there are plenty of battles mothers are up against too and it should be the child's rights that are at the centre of it all. Not the rights of the man/woman/dad/mam.


  • #101
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    Knine wrote: »
    Yes of course there are BOTH mothers & fathers who are not fit to parent. The court option is open to either parent. If a parent feels that a judge has not ruled in the best interests of the children, then there is a fantastic appeals process. Unfortunately some parents only think of their own interests.
    Tasden wrote: »
    Nope it doesn't. But saying the courts always favour the mother and that women have all the rights in family courts is simply not true. Fathers in this country, especially unmarried fathers, have huge battles when it comes to access and custody and it is unbelievably unfair, but there are plenty of battles mothers are up against too and it should be the child's rights that are at the centre of it all. Not the rights of the man/woman/dad/mam.
    I was agreeing with ye. When a poster seemed to be implying that Knine was having a pop at unmarried fathers, I was saying that just because Knine and other mothers in a similar situation talk about their own individual experiences, does not mean they are having a pop at unmarried fathers in general.


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  • #102
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Have ye all missed the point that this case is about a disabled man resisting his parents getting a safety order and attacking the judge?


  • #103
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    Stheno wrote: »
    Have ye all missed the point that this case is about a disabled man resisting his parents getting a safety order and attacking the judge?
    No shur a few of us acknowledged it - but the thread has gone on a bit of a tangent due to the custody angle being brought up. :)


  • #104
    WHIP IT!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,887 ✭✭✭WHIP IT!


    haveringchick wrote: »
    I have 12 years of experience of both sides of these sad stories
    In the vast majority of cases I come across, in particular with young fathers, they persue access under pressure from their own immediate family, or in revenge for having been pursued for maintenance themselves, or in a fit of jealousy when the mother of their child meets a new partner
    The levels of unreliability are unreal
    Turning up to collect children hours late or not at all
    Abandoning the kids with family members in order to "socialise"
    Not sticking to diets routines or simple to follow rules
    I can only think of 2 or 3 young dads in all this time who were actually suitable parents

    Possibly the most sickenly outrageous post in the colourful history of boards.ie... like I said, one of the last remaining forms of acceptable prejudice...


  • #105
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Stheno wrote: »
    Have ye all missed the point that this case is about a disabled man resisting his parents getting a safety order and attacking the judge?

    I saw that but didn't have a comment to make on that issue, but i still wanted to reply to Knine's post.


  • #106
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    WHIP IT! wrote: »
    Possibly the most sickenly outrageous post in the colourful history of boards.ie... like I said, one of the last remaining forms of acceptable prejudice...
    If it was just an opinion with no basis I would agree with you, but she is talking about what she has personally observed in working in the area. Still doesn't mean all separated fathers are unfit parents and all mothers are fit parents though.


  • #107
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    WHIP IT! wrote: »
    Possibly the most sickenly outrageous post in the colourful history of boards.ie... like I said, one of the last remaining forms of acceptable prejudice...

    What's outrageous about it? Or sickening? Please, enlighten us


  • #108
    Knine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,781 ✭✭✭Knine


    Stheno wrote: »
    Have ye all missed the point that this case is about a disabled man resisting his parents getting a safety order and attacking the judge?

    Definitely not missed that point as my child is disabled & I worry terribly about her future. There is practically no services for our children once they leave school.


  • #109
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    Knine wrote: »
    Definitely not missed that point as my child is disabled & I worry terribly about her future. There is practically no services for our children once they leave school.

    It's very worrying for you. Life can be so hard. I hope you can get sorted out soon.


  • #110
    glued
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,446 ✭✭✭glued


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Not just our laws.

    In many countries the law favours women in cases involving children. Which is understandable in the cases of young children, it becomes less relevant as they grow. In many countries this is underpinned by matters such as maternity leave, there is no presumption that men and women are the exact same.


    Why is it understandable for young children? The law is stupid as it naturally sides with the women in these cases. This naturally sees many women use the children as leverage over their former partner so much so that many of these fathers, who have done nothing wrong, have to go to court to just see their children.


  • #111
    Knine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,781 ✭✭✭Knine


    glued wrote: »
    Why is it understandable for young children? The law is stupid as it naturally sides with the women in these cases. This naturally sees many women use the children as leverage over their former partner so much so that many of these fathers, who have done nothing wrong, have to go to court to just see their children.

    Going to court is not all bad though. At least then with a court order everyone knows where they stand. No solicitor is needed either. Breaches of a court order regarding access are treated very seriously.

    The appeals process is also available for both parents. There is also a mediation service available in Dolphin House.


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  • #112
    Little CuChulainn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,624 ✭✭✭Little CuChulainn


    haveringchick wrote: »
    He's intellectually disabled

    That does not mean he is not capable of knowing right from wrong or knowing exactly what he is doing. If he had that level of disability then he wouldn't be in the court having an application for a safety order brought against him.
    Knine wrote: »
    My child has a very severe disability but she marks on her little calender when her daddy is due to take her. Her little heart is broke today. It is very difficult trying to explain to her that he won't be collecting her.

    The people who say the family courts are pro mother have probably spent very little time in one. You see if I went back to court No Judge can force him to be a proper father. He will however put on a great daddy display in front of his family & friends. The reality is far different. If you were a friend of his he would probably be lamenting about how he never gets to see his child.

    The real losers are the children

    The courts are very pro-mother. They might not give you what you want but they will generally give you a lot more than they do the father.
    haveringchick wrote: »
    What's outrageous about it? Or sickening? Please, enlighten us

    Well it's pretty much nonsense. There are as many women abusing the system and being poor parents as there are men.


  • #113
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    Little CuChulainn wrote: »
    Well it's pretty much nonsense.
    It may not be the case in general, but it's what she observed in her work specifically - you don't have proof that she is lying.
    There are as many women abusing the system and being poor parents as there are men.
    Well we don't know the exact figures (not that that means you're wrong to say it's 50/50) but nobody said or implied there aren't women abusing the system and being poor parents.

    I did some work in the area of fathers struggling for custody and dealing with some nasty pieces of work who were mothers to their children.


  • #114
    Little CuChulainn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,624 ✭✭✭Little CuChulainn


    Azalea wrote: »
    It's what she observed in her work - you don't have proof that she is lying.

    Well we don't know the exact figures (not that that means you're wrong to say it's 50/50) but nobody said or implied there aren't women abusing the system and being poor parents.

    I have my own observations from my own work.


  • #115
    Azalea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭Azalea


    Little CuChulainn wrote: »
    I have my own observations from my own work.
    Still doesn't negate what haveringchick observed where she works. And what she observed in her work doesn't negate what you have observed in your work, or what I observed in the relevant bit of work I did.


  • #116
    Knine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,781 ✭✭✭Knine


    Little CuChulainn wrote: »

    The courts are very pro-mother. They might not give you what you want but they will generally give you a lot more .

    You are missing the point. It is not about what I want. It should be about what is in the best interests of the child. How often have you been in court?


  • #117
    haveringchick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭haveringchick


    Little CuChulainn wrote: »
    That does not mean he is not capable of knowing right from wrong or knowing exactly what he is doing. If he had that level of disability then he wouldn't be in the court having an application for a safety order brought against him.



    The courts are very pro-mother. They might not give you what you want but they will generally give you a lot more than they do the father.



    Well it's pretty much nonsense. There are as many women abusing the system and being poor parents as there are men.

    My experience is nonsense? How do you know?
    Also you know nothing about disability rights
    If his parents want him removed from the family home then his social worker is obliged to contest that application on his behalf
    If you don't have any experience of these cases you shouldn't embarres yourself with your lack of knowledge


  • #118
    asteroids over berlin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,113 ✭✭✭asteroids over berlin


    This really boils down to what mental disability the guy has, perhaps a little thought there, best to keep stung until more information is released etc


  • #119
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 22,384 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    glued wrote: »
    Why is it understandable for young children? The law is stupid as it naturally sides with the women in these cases. This naturally sees many women use the children as leverage over their former partner so much so that many of these fathers, who have done nothing wrong, have to go to court to just see their children.

    Well for the very young, something as simple and as natural as breast feeding springs to mind. Or the fact that the mother may have taken a number of months off with maternity leave and there may be a stronger bond between the infant and his or her mother.


  • #120
    brooke 2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,472 ✭✭✭brooke 2


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    Would there be any possiblity that the man was kicked down himself at every opportunity.

    He may have tried to get access/custody but was stymied by the ex with barring orders to boost the case.

    I look on the man as being heartbroken. He probably adores his kids but is denied all that he wants to do for them.

    There are two sides to ever story. Sad end to this, he will suffer now.

    I would be more inclined to believe that he could have been violent to his partner. If he could not control himself in a court when he was riled, it was unlikely he could so when he was in a private situation.

    Edit: I had written this before I saw the post about what allegedly did happen.


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  • #121
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    brooke 2 wrote: »
    I would be more inclined to believe that he could have been violent to his partner. If he could not control himself in a court when he was riled, it was unlikely he could so when he was in a private situation.

    Jesus Christ, did you read the thread? It was an intellectually disabled individual challenging a safety order his parents wanted


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