Breastfeeding Mom in restaurant stare off...

lazygal · 08-12-2015 10:22PM

http://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6#.eizv9VnV8

Interesting images of breastfeeding here.

*SPOILER ALERT/WARNING FOR THE SENSITIVE-NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DOING IT DISCRETELY*

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2015 10:23PM

lazygal wrote: »

What do you mean by decorum? How, exactly, should a woman who is breastfeeding in a different manner to someone who is bottle feeding?

Pulling your breast out as per example in OP vs discreetly popping it out underneath and leaving your baby latch on? I mean if a mother was making a drama out of feeding her baby from a bottle I'd think she was a knob too.

As do I think parents who change their kids on the table of a cafe/seat of a cafe/restaurant are self entitled knobs too.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 10:24PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Pulling your breast out as per example in OP vs discreetly popping it out underneath and leaving your baby latch on? I mean if a mother was making a drama out of feeding her baby from a bottle I'd think she was a knob too.

As do I think parents who change their kids on the table of a cafe/seat of a cafe/restaurant are self entitled knobs too.

I could pull out a breast to feed without making a drama out of it. It's necessary sometimes in the early days when establishing the correct latch to have the whole breast on and help the baby to latch on correctly.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2015 10:34PM

lazygal wrote: »

I could pull out a breast to feed without making a drama out of it. It's necessary sometimes in the early days when establishing the correct latch to have the whole breast on and help the baby to latch on correctly.

Look, I'm pro breast is best so I'm not arguing with you about that.
I also think the baby being comfortable and being fed comfortably is the most important - this comes before any shrinking violets ashamed of their/other people's bodies. If the mother is more comfortable using something to drape over herself and her baby, that's fine but she shouldn't feel like she has to.

However; what I don't understand people who go out of their way to make a point about something, look for reasons to be offended, look for people to be offended. Exposing yourself (not even comfortably in the OP) just to make a point/gain attention. Or in a previous posters post, having his cousin whip out her boob in his house making him uncomfortable. I've seen enough boobs in my time to not be a bit bothered by that but I can understand why you might feel a bit uncomfortable seeing your cousin flash her boob/nipple. That's all well and good when you're in your own home, but when you're out and about - you do need to bear others in mind within reason.

When you can do something discreetly, why wouldn't you? It's a different story if you need to expose more to help the baby latch on, or you're not in a comfortable position, the child needs to be fed and it can't be avoided but when it can be avoided, why wouldn't they?

It's the self entitled attitude of "I can do what I want, where I want, and make as many people as I want uncomfortable" yes, you certainly can, but it makes you a knob. If you're showing a bit of respect all round, no doubt you get it back.

One eyed Jack · 08-12-2015 10:36PM

lazygal wrote: »

http://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6#.eizv9VnV8

Interesting images of breastfeeding here.

*SPOILER ALERT/WARNING FOR THE SENSITIVE-NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DOING IT DISCRETELY*

At least you warned people that it was a link to Buzzfeed! :pac:

There was only one interesting picture among those pictures, the only picture that where the mother was looking around her to see who was looking at her - the picture from the 1930's of the black woman looking around her to see who was looking at her!

The rest of the pictures, the women are either oblivious to everyone around them, or they're focused on feeding their babies. The woman in the second picture might be having a stare-down with someone though :pac:

Yeah_Right · 08-12-2015 10:38PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I've had my cousin whip her tit out in my living room before and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I've got no problems with the act itself, but given that it was just the three of us in a small enough room, she could've asked if it would be okay.

I hear ya man. I've sat there and carried on conversations with friends or colleagues while they breastfed. No problem. But for some reason seeing relatives do it was weird. Especially my sister. I have no explanation why I feel this way.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 10:38PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

At least you warned people that it was a link to Buzzfeed! :pac:

There was only one interesting picture among those pictures, the only picture that where the mother was looking around her to see who was looking at her - the picture from the 1930's of the black woman looking around her to see who was looking at her!

The rest of the pictures, the women are either oblivious to everyone around them, or they're focused on feeding their babies. The woman in the second picture might be having a stare-down with someone though :pac:

I think its more likely she's wondering where the hell her husband and/or other child have disappeared off too and why they aren't bringing her a cuppa.

madeinamerica · 08-12-2015 10:42PM

Those who don't like to see lots of boob (or any boob) on show when a woman is breastfeeding, can I ask why? What is it that you don't like, what does it make you feel and why do you feel that way?

Canterelle · 08-12-2015 10:59PM

Having read all this all I can say is wow! A woman breastfeeding, 'discreetly' or otherwise should be commended. It's a hard enough thing to sustain and I take my hat off to those who can last past my miserable 3 months and 12weeks, consecutively. First time was 14 years ago and by god it was so hard to do in public in Ireland. Yes I covered up, and yes I fed my baby in the toilet. I wish I hadn't felt I had to! There is nothing remotely sexual or indecent about a nursing mother. Still think the picture in the op was posed but hey, wish it was around in my day!

jimdublin15 · 08-12-2015 11:13PM

lazygal wrote: »

http://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6#.eizv9VnV8

Interesting images of breastfeeding here.

*SPOILER ALERT/WARNING FOR THE SENSITIVE-NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DOING IT DISCRETELY*

Great art does not need comments to portray a message, the commentary underneath the photo's & photo No 23/25 did not add value. Now i do understand the point the comments are trying to make however I do think it took something away from photo's and art that are by themselves far more powerful than the comments could ever be.

Hammer89 · 08-12-2015 11:17PM

Yeah_Right wrote: »

I hear ya man. I've sat there and carried on conversations with friends or colleagues while they breastfed. No problem. But for some reason seeing relatives do it was weird. Especially my sister. I have no explanation why I feel this way.

It's because it's your sister! You're family and it'd be very, very weird if it wasn't uncomfortable seeing your sister's breasts.

ThinkProgress · 08-12-2015 11:27PM

So I think most of us are in agreement that it's better to do the act discreetly. (under - not over was the general consensus, right?)

Like this excellent illustrative diagram below:

https://i1.ytimg.com/vi/b_a0eY1OUZE/hqdefault.jpg

One eyed Jack · 08-12-2015 11:35PM

Hammer89 wrote: »

It's because it's your sister! You're family and it'd be very, very weird if it wasn't uncomfortable seeing your sister's breasts.

I think it's more weird because when a person is used to seeing breasts in a sexual context (as I admittedly am!), it can be difficult to get your head around a woman breastfeeding. In other cultures, they're more used to the opposite way round - women breastfeeding, be they sisters, mothers or cousins, is nothing to them. I don't think we'll ever reach a point in Western society where women's breasts are viewed as function over form, because we live in a hypersexualised society where the titillation of a woman's breasts means that women having their breasts out in public is always going to be something noticeable rather than normalised.

Reason being - in Western society we cover ourselves up most of the time, whereas in other cultures, they don't particularly have the same notions we do about modesty and so on. I'm sure I'd eventually get used to the sight of breasts too if I lived in a society where they don't particularly care about modesty.

full_irish · 08-12-2015 11:48PM

From her facebook page:

breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering, nonvaxing, co-sleeping, ERF, intactivist mama of 2

For that alone, in my book she is a reckless role model for anyone to be following - fair play on breastfeeding your child. He'll be well nourished for if/when a highly preventable and possibly fatal disease comes around.

Not only is she endangering the life of her own child, its idiots like her that mean areas now no longer have 'herd immunity' and putting others people children at risk.

eviltwin · 08-12-2015 11:54PM

lazygal wrote: »

http://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6#.eizv9VnV8

Interesting images of breastfeeding here.

*SPOILER ALERT/WARNING FOR THE SENSITIVE-NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DOING IT DISCRETELY*

Those pictures are beautiful.

darkpagandeath · 08-12-2015 11:55PM

To the people saying this is normal and totally natural. Not that I disagree, Why would people stare ?

inocybe · 08-12-2015 11:59PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

To the people saying this is normal and totally natural. Not that I disagree, Why would people stare ?

Because they think you should be at home or sitting in a public toilet

eviltwin · 09-12-2015 12:00AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

To the people saying this is normal and totally natural. Not that I disagree, Why would people stare ?

Why would you stare at anyone. Because they are rude.

One eyed Jack · 09-12-2015 12:03AM

full_irish wrote: »

From her facebook page:

For that alone, in my book she is a reckless role model for anyone to be following - fair play on breastfeeding your child. He'll be well nourished for if/when a highly preventable and possibly fatal disease comes around.

Not only is she endangering the life of her own child, its idiots like her that mean areas now no longer have 'herd immunity' and putting others people children at risk.

The hell is a babywearing, cloth diapering inactivist?

The humblebrag is strong with this one :pac:

One eyed Jack · 09-12-2015 12:06AM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

To the people saying this is normal and totally natural. Not that I disagree, Why would people stare ?

Because it's not normal to see women breastfeeding in public is why people stare. Now whether they stare out of curiosity, bemusement or disgust, is completely open to interpretation and dependent upon context.

Yeah_Right · 09-12-2015 12:33AM

full_irish wrote: »

From her facebook page:

For that alone, in my book she is a reckless role model for anyone to be following - fair play on breastfeeding your child. He'll be well nourished for if/when a highly preventable and possibly fatal disease comes around.

Not only is she endangering the life of her own child, its idiots like her that mean areas now no longer have 'herd immunity' and putting others people children at risk.

I think her FB statuses could fit in well over on the Dumb Facebook Status thread.

Can someone help me out? What is babywearing, ERF, co-sleeping and intactivist?

ceadaoin. · 09-12-2015 12:46AM

Yeah_Right wrote: »

I think her FB statuses could fit in well over on the Dumb Facebook Status thread.

Can someone help me out? What is babywearing, ERF, co-sleeping and intactivist?

Babywearing - using baby carriers like a baby bjorn or ergo where the baby is held against your chest

Co sleeping- sharing a bed with your kids

Don't know about the others

09-12-2015 01:17AM

ThinkProgress wrote: »

In fairness now... they really were milkin that situation a bit.

Yes and think of the negative impact it may possibly have on udders!... :pac:

09-12-2015 01:28AM

I just Googled an intactivist. It's someone who is against circumcission of infants.

And I think ERF (extended rear facing) has something to do with position of car seats and having older children facing that way.
That, or she has spare time to do math.

donegaLroad · 09-12-2015 02:05AM

the missus does this all the time. I dont understand the fuss? did no-one ever see a breast before?

ceadaoin. · 09-12-2015 02:06AM

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

And I think ERF (extended rear facing) has something to do with position of car seats and having older children facing that way.
That, or she has spare time to do math.

Oh, that rings a bell now. I didn't realise it was a 'cause' now and something to use to highlight your superior parenting skills.

Maximus Alexander · 09-12-2015 02:06AM

donegaLroad wrote: »

the missus does this all the time. I dont understand the fuss? did no-one ever see a breast before?

I never have.

09-12-2015 02:28AM

I have to be honest and let all women know:

If I see a woman breastfeeding in public, I will instinctively rate her attractiveness, and if she is of a required standard I can guarantee I will be titillated and stealing a few sneaky glances over there.

I know it's sick but I can't help it, I was born this way damnit.

If women don't want this then they can be discrete and/or do in private.

mckar · 09-12-2015 02:39AM

I breastfed 3 of my kids and only lasted a month on first two the 3rd one was a success if I had of been more comfortable with all of them it would never of been an issue society needs to stop judging woman that feed in public. I felt so uncomfortable because of others getting past that is incredibly hard fare play it is a beautiful natural experience . Definitely needs more people like this making other looking to be the ones feel uncomfortable and not the mothers.

Samaris · 09-12-2015 03:28AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I have to be honest and let all women know:

If I see a woman breastfeeding in public, I will instinctively rate her attractiveness, and if she is of a required standard I can guarantee I will be titillated and stealing a few sneaky glances over there.

I know it's sick but I can't help it, I was born this way damnit.

If women don't want this then they can be discrete and/or do in private.

...So, women should put themselves to a lot of extra work in terms of finding a private place to go because you can't keep your eyes to yourself.

We all have impulses or whatevers that are not appropriate, but we control them, born with them or not.

You were doing fine until the last sentence. At that point you basically said that because -you- can't control yourself, it's up to women to keep themselves modestly covered in your vicinity. I hate to basically Godwin, but that's the justification for burqas.

Breastfeeding Mom in restaurant stare off...

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