Breastfeeding Mom in restaurant stare off...

08-12-2015 4:51pm

Kev W wrote: »

Why?

Because it's exposing female genitals. I mean if I see someone p*ssing in the street I would feel the same way. I would feel uncomfortable and not particularly like it, but I would just carry on and ignore it.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 4:53pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

If they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old.

If you're old enough to ask for food, that means you don't eat any more? What weird logic.

Menas · 08-12-2015 4:53pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Because it's exposing female genitals. I mean if I see someone p*ssing in the street I would feel the same way. I would feel uncomfortable and not particularly like it, but I would just carry on and ignore it.

Eh...boobs are not genitals!

lazygal · 08-12-2015 4:54pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Because it's exposing female genitals. I mean if I see someone p*ssing in the street I would feel the same way. I would feel uncomfortable and not particularly like it, but I would just carry on and ignore it.

Breasts are for feeding children. You must have confused them with other body parts.

osarusan · 08-12-2015 4:54pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Because it's exposing female genitals.

Jesus Christ.

smash · 08-12-2015 4:57pm

lazygal wrote: »

If you're old enough to ask for food, that means you don't eat any more? What weird logic.

I guess what she's saying is that if you're old enough to ask for food, you should be given food and not a breast. And when I say 'food', I'm not saying breast milk isn't food, I clearly mean solid food.

One eyed Jack · 08-12-2015 4:59pm

lazygal wrote: »

Breasts are for feeding children. You must have confused them with other body parts.

I really hope I never get to that point in my life where I think women's breasts are solely for feeding children. I would also hope that there aren't too many women feel that their breasts are only for feeding children.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:00pm

smash wrote: »

I guess what she's saying is that if you're old enough to ask for food, you should be given food and not a breast. And when I say 'food', I'm not saying breast milk isn't food, I clearly mean solid food.

I still don't understand that logic. A newborn can 'ask' for breastmilk by rooting, by putting their hands in their mouth and other hunger cues. Why is my two year old too old for something because he can verbalise that he wants or needs it? There's loads of health benefits to breastfeeding, not to mention the cost savings and environmental elements to it. It's bizarre that natural weaning from the breast is seen as so strange by so many people.

esforum · 08-12-2015 5:00pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Because it's exposing female genitals. I mean if I see someone p*ssing in the street I would feel the same way. I would feel uncomfortable and not particularly like it, but I would just carry on and ignore it.

Boobies are genitals now? I thought they were baby feeders that men happen to find fascinating

The picture is nothing, absolutely nothing. If you look real real closely you can see an entire restaurant that does not give a single **** about this womans breast

lazygal wrote: »

If you're old enough to ask for food, that means you don't eat any more? What weird logic.

Nope. it means your at the right age for solid food. If your child is going in the toilet and completely potty trained do you put them in nappies or underwear?

I dont think natural weaning will actually result in the child stopping either and at 4 I think thats just odd, the child will be going to school FFS! (anyone else think of Little Britain and bitty?)

osarusan · 08-12-2015 5:01pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

kylith I leave the answers to those questions up to the individual themselves.

But you didn't leave the answers. You've obviously answered them from your perspective. You've said any number of times on this thread that this woman was being inconsiderate.

So please tell us, prior to the stareoff with the other customer happening, what exactly was she doing that you deem to be inconsiderate and attention seeking?

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:01pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I really hope I never get to that point in my life where I think women's breasts are solely for feeding children. I would also hope that there aren't too many women feel that their breasts are only for feeding children.

But they are for feeding children. Again, you are projecting your feelings onto breastfeeding. You never told me how I could breastfeed considerately either. Why would you hope many women feel the same as you about breasts?

eviltwin · 08-12-2015 5:02pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I really hope I never get to that point in my life where I think women's breasts are solely for feeding children. I would also hope that there aren't too many women feel that their breasts are only for feeding children.

When you are a nursing mother that is their primary function. Especially when you have a child who is hungry and getting cross. A woman on a plane can't exactly do much else but feed the child can she? What's more offensive to you, a glimpse of breast or a screaming baby?

seamus · 08-12-2015 5:04pm

Some irrational arguments are just funny, they come up in the same format in the oddest of places.

"I've no problem with breastfeeding, but...."

There are a few people taking a lot of time to discuss what breastfeeding mothers should do in public while still claiming that they've no issues with breastfeeding.

smash · 08-12-2015 5:05pm

lazygal wrote: »

I still don't understand that logic. A newborn can 'ask' for breastmilk by rooting, by putting their hands in their mouth and other hunger cues. Why is my two year old too old for something because he can verbalise that he wants or needs it? There's loads of health benefits to breastfeeding, not to mention the cost savings and environmental elements to it. It's bizarre that natural weaning from the breast is seen as so strange by so many people.

Your child can talk and can socialise. How can they he anything outside of the house like attend parties etc? While all the other kids are eating cake will you be sitting there saying "Come here honey, dinner's ready" and handing him a boob to suck on?

I have no issues with breastfeeding, but there's a time when enough is enough.

kylith · 08-12-2015 5:06pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

kylith I leave the answers to those questions up to the individual themselves. If they feel they're not doing anything wrong, then there's no need to make a big deal about someone staring at them. I get stared at all the time for various reasons, and normally it's rude and it's inconsiderate and all the rest of it, but I'm used to it, so I don't care if people want to stare, it's also not illegal to stare at people.

What I certainly don't do, is engage in a childish "stare-down" (not least because they have me at an immediate disadvantage :pac:), but simply because I understand that as socially unacceptable as staring is, people are gonna do it anyway. That, IMO, is what this woman should have done - simply carry on feeding her baby and ignore anyone staring at her for doing so.

It really isn't that difficult to mind your own business if you expect people to mind theirs. The fact is that most people do, they do mind their own business, and I don't go out of my way to draw attention to myself with silly stare-down matches. I don't feel a need to do that because IMO it's simply a waste of my time and energy.

So, you don't actually have any idea what you're on about with this 'be considerate' stuff? Well, that makes at least 2 of us.

If I was out for a walk and someone glared at me as I was using the pedestrian crossing and I decided that I was going to stare back at them since they were the ones being rude in the first place I'd be the one in the wrong. And then I'd be in the wrong if I wrote on my blog about pedestrian crossings about the person staring at me?

The only way to change outdated attitudes is by challenging them. This woman didn't make a scene. She didn't go rub her boobs in anyone's face. She simply maintained eye-contact with the person staring at her. Maybe it was childish, but it wasn't anywhere near as pathetic as the person staring at a nursing mother like she was doing something wrong.

NachoBusiness · 08-12-2015 5:07pm

Kev W wrote: »

As to your contention that the lady in the OP is an attention seeker, so what? She's running a blog, attention is how they operate.

Indeed.

You might as well call Tesco "just money seekers" because they charge for groceries.

Ah, now you have it. Yes, Tesco are pretending to care about their customers with their 'Every Little Helps' waffle but ultimately they just want our money and these attention seekers pretend to care about lifting the taboo of breastfeeding but ultimately just want attention.

You say 'So what?' as if that isn't enough to make them worthy of criticism, when it is! This thread was done before by the way and on it those breastfeeding YouTube channels that are set up by certain women were spoke of and I typed out a reply saying how I felt that many of them were disgracefully just doing it for attention and that it was very obvious as they would have very sexually suggestive vid caps on their videos in an attempt to get views. One in particular which I won't get into but was why I chose not to post the reply in the end.

To clarify: I have no issue with a woman breastfeeding in public, haven't got the sense that anybody that has posted on this thread does but I do have an issue with any woman that uses it as a means of attention whoring. Become an exhibitionist if you want. I may even subscribe to your website but using your kid to get attention in this context is reprehensible and sickening in my view.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:07pm

esforum wrote: »

I dont think natural weaning will actually result in the child stopping either and at 4 I think thats just odd, the child will be going to school FFS! (anyone else think of Little Britain and bitty?)

My first child weaned naturally, at 14 months. Natural weaning occurs when the child is ready to wean. Maybe that's two, maybe its four. Here's some information on it.

http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/lv/lvdec00jan01p112.html

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:11pm

smash wrote: »

Your child can talk and can socialise. How can they he anything outside of the house like attend parties etc? While all the other kids are eating cake will you be sitting there saying "Come here honey, dinner's ready" and handing him a boob to suck on?

I have no issues with breastfeeding, but there's a time when enough is enough.

My child feeds in the mornings, when he wakes up. Maybe another feed or two if I'm not working or he's sick or very tired. Do you know how breastfeeding a toddler works? It is completly different to a newborn or baby. It doesn't involve them being on the breast all day every day, I'm in work most days and I work late so he gets no feeds at all during that. If we're in a situation where I don't want to feed, I distract him with something else and that's no big deal.

How do you think it works? That he's on me all day, every day and does nothing but feed?

El_Duderino 09 · 08-12-2015 5:15pm

Deleted User wrote:

Why do both sides need to make such a big f*cking deal about it? I agree it's not good if it's in broad daylight but at the same time if somebody is doing it, then just don't look, it's not difficult.

Agree with all this except to say that you are not obliged to not look. Same rules of looking apply to breastfeeding as any other activity someone engages in.

If someone broke into doing push ups or calf raises while waiting for a train to arrive, I wouldn't say that you can't look. They are in public. Staring is always unwelcome but if someone prefers not to be seen then they should find somewhere private.

I find something really childish about being embarrassed by breasts and not being able to distinguish between the functions breasts serve. I don't mean to be a killjoy but breasts wouldn't be attractive without their reproductive function.

Live and let live

smash · 08-12-2015 5:15pm

lazygal wrote: »

My child feeds in the mornings, when he wakes up. Maybe another feed or two if I'm not working or he's sick or very tired. Do you know how breastfeeding a toddler works? It is completly different to a newborn or baby. It doesn't involve them being on the breast all day every day, I'm in work most days and I work late so he gets no feeds at all during that. If we're in a situation where I don't want to feed, I distract him with something else and that's no big deal.

How do you think it works? That he's on me all day, every day and does nothing but feed?

So you go to work leaving him unfed since the morning, and then other times if you're not in the mood to feed him when he's hungry you'll just distract him? And all of that is no big deal?

hmmm... I don't really want to continue this conversation.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:18pm

smash wrote: »

So you go to work leaving him unfed since the morning, and then other times if you're not in the mood to feed him when he's hungry you'll just distract him? And all of that is no big deal?

hmmm... I don't really want to continue this conversation.

No it isn't. He'll eat food as well, breastmilk isn't his sole source of food. But when he was sick a few weeks ago the breastmilk was great for him, full of just the right stuff. Do you think toddlers who are still breastfed get nothing but breastmilk and starve in between feeds or something? Why does it make you so uncomfortable?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2015 5:20pm

Tbh at 2, it's more of a comfort thing like a blanket or a toy or a soother. Probably for both of you. The health benefits are well over with.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:23pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Tbh at 2, it's more of a comfort thing like a blanket or a toy or a soother. Probably for both of you. The health benefits are well over with.

No, they aren't-but that's a really common misconception.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/extended-breastfeeding/art-20046962

People have a lot of misconceptions about breastfeeding.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 08-12-2015 5:25pm

lazygal wrote: »

No, they aren't-but that's a really common misconception.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/extended-breastfeeding/art-20046962

People have a lot of misconceptions about breastfeeding.

So is your 14 month old less healthy?

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:26pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

So is your 14 month old less healthy?

Who knows, the benefits are long term. She self weaned though-I couldn't force her to continue. My younger child shows no signs of weaning.

smash · 08-12-2015 5:27pm

lazygal wrote: »

No it isn't. He'll eat food as well, breastmilk isn't his sole source of food. But when he was sick a few weeks ago the breastmilk was great for him, full of just the right stuff. Do you think toddlers who are still breastfed get nothing but breastmilk and starve in between feeds or something?

Well that's the way you made it sound.

lazygal wrote: »

Why does it make you so uncomfortable?

Breastfeeding babies doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. Breastfeeding older children does because I think it's more for the mother than for the child and so I feel sorry for the child in ways. But that's just my opinion.

intheclouds · 08-12-2015 5:28pm

lazygal wrote: »

How do you think it works? That he's on me all day, every day and does nothing but feed?

Actually I have no idea how baby or child feeding works at all, breastfeeding or not.

If you dont have children I dont think its unusual that you wouldnt know how it works.

Even if you do have children, I suppose different people and cultures do things differently.

So if you breastfeed him twice or three times one day, but just once the next day, what does your body do with the excess milk, or how does it know to produce more some days? Thats probably a really dumb question but I genuinely wouldnt have a notion.

Kev W · 08-12-2015 5:29pm

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Indeed.

Ah, now you have it. Yes, Tesco are pretending to care about their customers with their 'Every Little Helps' waffle but ultimately they just want our money and these attention seekers pretend to care about lifting the taboo of breastfeeding but ultimately just want attention.

You say 'So what?' as if that isn't enough to make them worthy of criticism, when it is! This thread was done before by the way and on it those breastfeeding YouTube channels that are set up by certain women were spoke of and I typed out a reply saying how I felt that many of them were disgracefully just doing it for attention and that it was very obvious as they would have very sexually suggestive vid caps on their videos in an attempt to get views. One in particular which I won't get into but was why I chose not to post the reply in the end.

To clarify: I have no issue with a woman breastfeeding in public, haven't got the sense that anybody that has posted on this thread does but I do have an issue with any woman that uses it as a means of attention whoring. Become an exhibitionist if you want. I may even subscribe to your website but using your kid to get attention in this context is reprehensible and sickening in my view.

If your entire argument is "they're only looking for attention" then you have no argument. Unless you can demonstrate how the desire for attention is an inherently bad thing.

greenorchard · 08-12-2015 5:29pm

topmanamillion wrote: »

I changed it to child abuse before reading your message.
I absolutely feel it's child abuse to have a child who can eat solids breast feeding.

Ok, you do realise that babies start eating solids around 6 months? It's child abuse to breastfeed a 6 month old baby now?! Babies also can't have cow's milk until they're one so the choice is either continue breastfeeding until they're one or switch to expensive, more inconvenient and less nutritious formula. I know which one I'll be doing.

lazygal · 08-12-2015 5:30pm

smash wrote: »

Well that's the way you made it sound.

Breastfeeding babies doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. Breastfeeding older children does because I think it's more for the mother than for the child and so I feel sorry for the child in ways. But that's just my opinion.

If I was a stricter mother I'd have weaned him at two-that was my plan. But he loves his morning feeds and the odd time he's sick or upset the breastmilk is the best thing for him. Trust me, you wouldn't feel sorry for him if you saw how happy he is having his feeds and when he tells me how yummy it is. It's for their benefit that I breastfed-I really didn't particularly like feeding either of my children for a long time.

Breastfeeding Mom in restaurant stare off...

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