She wont fcuk off from my butter

11-07-2015 10:42PM

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Until you butter freezing maniacs explain how you actually spread the stuff (without ****ing microwaving) then the name calling will not stand.

A poll I say! A poll!!

You just take a really really slight skim of the top, you soften that with the knife by buttering back and forth for a second, and then you butter your bread! Honestly. It works.

dxhound2005 · 11-07-2015 10:44PM

There's an app for that.

http://www.alfille.co.uk/

Toto Wolfcastle · 11-07-2015 10:45PM

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

Until you butter freezing maniacs explain how you actually spread the stuff (without ****ing microwaving) then the name calling will not stand.

A poll I say! A poll!!

We bought a knife on Kickstarter that kind of grates the hard butter and softens it. It works pretty well actually. Of course I'm sure we could do similar with a regular knife if we tried but it's the novelty of it!

What we normally do is keep a small about of butter in a small butter dish out of the fridge and keep the rest in the fridge.

Filmer Paradise · 11-07-2015 10:45PM

As a kid, I remember the Auld lad getting very het-up about hard butter. Saw blocks of butter being put on radiators many times.

As I hit my teens Dairygold came out.

It was a revelation, a salvation & the cause of much happiness in our household.

No block of butter ever darkend our door ever since!

Dairygold. Nothing else will do!

Super-Rush · 11-07-2015 10:45PM

Specialun wrote: »

So like most country folk i like my proper butter..no recession when it comes to butter and i push the boat out for kerrygold

But herself wont stop putting it back into the fridge..i want it left out but she wont stop putting it back in..i want the butter soft so it will easily spread on my cream crackers or else so it wont tear apart my toast when

She just doesnt get it and im thinking about burying her in a big hole in the garden over it

What is your OH doing to bug you or what dont he/she just not get..

I feel your pain.

I have the exact same problem in our house with the butter.

BorneTobyWilde · 11-07-2015 10:46PM

Butter her face and slap it

Flippyfloppy · 11-07-2015 10:48PM

Every morning stick a knob of butter in a little dish for yourself...you've got your soft butter for the day

/thread

NachoBusiness · 11-07-2015 10:49PM

Specialun wrote: »

..i want it left out but she wont stop putting it back in..

https://twitter.com/MrNachoBusiness/status/619986796412280832

cloud493 · 11-07-2015 10:53PM

Hard butter is weird. You rip the toast apart, or have to leave it on the toast to melt a wee bit. What a pain.

puss · 11-07-2015 10:59PM

Use a grater.

Specialun · 11-07-2015 11:01PM

puss wrote: »

Use a grater.

Stop..just please stop

Filmer Paradise · 11-07-2015 11:01PM

cloud493 wrote: »

Hard butter is weird. You rip the toast apart, or have to leave it on the toast to melt a wee bit. What a pain.

My family has been free of this curse for more than 30 years, thanks to the invention of Dairygold.

It caused us much happiness.:) Untill............

The day I walked into my future parents in laws house.

Blocks of butter. In. the. Fridge. :eek:

Poor poor deluded people.

cloud493 · 11-07-2015 11:02PM

I have the spreadable butter in my house (its lurpak) but its still ripping the bread apart when its been in the fridge.

Alf Veedersane · 11-07-2015 11:05PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You just take a really really slight skim of the top, you soften that with the knife by buttering back and forth for a second, and then you butter your bread! Honestly. It works.

^ This.

We have butter but any time it's used there's the same "it's tearing the bread/toast apart".

So I check the butter and it looks like there's been an archaeological dig.

I cry a little.

Then I stop because I only really use it for cooking and that I'm a winner in life.

Billy86 · 11-07-2015 11:08PM

Specialun wrote: »

So like most country folk i like my proper butter..no recession when it comes to butter and i push the boat out for kerrygold

But herself wont stop putting it back into the fridge..i want it left out but she wont stop putting it back in..i want the butter soft so it will easily spread on my cream crackers or else so it wont tear apart my toast when

She just doesnt get it and im thinking about burying her in a big hole in the garden over it

What is your OH doing to bug you or what dont he/she just not get..

Put whatever she likes from the fridge into the freezer, or from thee freezer into the fridge. Then murder her with an ax and burn the body.

Filmer Paradise · 11-07-2015 11:09PM

cloud493 wrote: »

I have the spreadable butter in my house (its lurpak) but its still ripping the bread apart when its been in the fridge.

We had a brief flirtation with the stuff they do in Aldi.

Awful. Slips off the knife before any interface with the bread.

Luckily for us, the High Priest of Daiygold forgave us this transgression.

aujopimur · 11-07-2015 11:12PM

Candie wrote: »

Slice off a pat of butter, and nuke it in the microwave for a few seconds. She gets her hard butter, you get your soft.

Preferences aside, there is one butter behaviour that is absolutely unforgivable. Butter defacing. You know when someone gets their knife and digs into the butter instead of neatly skimming the knife across the top of it? They dig craters and then wipe the excess butter from their knife on the side of the butter dish, usually including crumbs in the mess. I hate that with a passion.

Butter gouging brats.

I call them butter diggers, I have a nephew with the most raped butter I ever saw, the wrapper ripped open, great big chunks dug out of it, and the rest covered in crumbs, ketchup, peas, bits of egg, and other foreign objects, and the licked knife left stuck in it dirty feckers.

NachoBusiness · 11-07-2015 11:12PM

Last Tango in Portlaoise.

Filmer Paradise · 11-07-2015 11:14PM

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

You can pity us, but you and your damaged bread and your lumps of frozen butter won't survive the coming storm.

Beautiful!

I can almost see this inscription carved on the plinth under Jim Larkin's statue in O Connell St.

11-07-2015 11:14PM

Will yis goway with yizzer dairygold. This thread is about butter.

Samsgirl · 11-07-2015 11:15PM

Just get a little butter dish and leave that out with some butter in it. She can put the block back in the fridge. Prob solved!

Dyr · 11-07-2015 11:15PM

catallus wrote: »

No. This just won't do.

Butter is for biscuits and maybe bread, sometimes.

Crackers should be topped with a fresh creamed-cheese, like Philadelphia or the like. If that is not available some type of paté is permissible.

tis far from paté you were reared

Billy86 · 11-07-2015 11:16PM

Far worse than making craters is leaving crumbs. I once had two room mates who were always arguing over this with the spread; one leaving loads of crumbs and not caring, the other losing their mind over it. I use real butter 90% of the time so I didn't care either way. Anyway, long story short the one who kept getting wound up one day just bought a bag of dried breadcrumbs, mixed it with a full tub of spread, and proceeded to butter the other room mates' entire bed sheet with it while they were out one night before putting the duvet back over. And later that night is the story of how two room mates came to digs over crumbs in the spreadable butter. :pac:

The lease was up a few weeks later, thank Christ.

Cody montana · 11-07-2015 11:20PM

Is eating butter back in vogue?

efb · 11-07-2015 11:22PM

catallus wrote: »

Butter on cream-crackers?

Really?

I fully endorse Butter and Cream Crackers

sdanseo · 11-07-2015 11:22PM

Slightly OT, My granny used to use butter paddles to shape the stuff so they looked like little mini corn-on-the-cobs. Was mad how much effort she went to only for us to eat it all.

Out of the fridge an hour before you'll need it. If you leave it out all the time it gets too soft, but you can't use it straight from the fridge either.

As for the spreadables, Dairygold is the only one I'll touch. None of your margarine or olive oil shíte, thank you very much!

efb · 11-07-2015 11:23PM

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

We had a brief flirtation with the stuff they do in Aldi.

Awful. Slips off the knife before any interface with the bread.

Luckily for us, the High Priest of Daiygold forgave us this transgression.

Dairy gold isn't butter, I assume you meant Kerrygold.

Menas · 11-07-2015 11:25PM

Disclosure. We have Utterly Butterly in our fridge.

Filmer Paradise · 11-07-2015 11:26PM

efb wrote: »

Dairy gold isn't butter, I assume you meant Kerrygold.

Nope Dairygold.

Perfectly adequate substitute & much more user-friendly.:)

efb · 11-07-2015 11:27PM

Menas wrote: »

Disclosure. We have Utterly Butterly in our fridge.

get out.

She wont fcuk off from my butter

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