WORST NIGHTMARE - PLEASE HELP

ShaShaBear · 17-06-2015 03:36PM

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

It shouldnt need to be explained to most posters that the 'loony' part of that persons post was referring to the possibility the woman OP met led him to believe she was on contraception/may not be pregnant by him/at all !!!

Thanks, I did rather think it was implied.

Augme · 17-06-2015 04:04PM

beyondbelief67 wrote: »

Really really hope your simply on a Wind up here, I can't believe anyone would be so cavalier with someone else's life, health, feelings and emotions.
That's without the deceit involved !

But you're not being cavalier with someone else's feelings or emotions. The wife still thinks OP is a great guy and her feelings and emotions towards him are exactly the same as they were before they slept together. There is a slight health risk but there are ways of eliminating that risk without the wife knowing.

tinz18 wrote: »

There has been cases of certain STIs being passed on with the carrier testing negative while their partner is tested as positive. That's why both partners need to be tested.

Testing of STIs is good but its not 100% fail proof, OP shouldn't stake his wifes health solely based on his results. Its explained well in the answer in this link: http://std.about.com/od/gettingtested/f/falsepositive.htm

What are the chances the OP and the woman he slept with both getting false positive tests? Lets be honest it's pretty slim. And if it's higher then the chance of the wife getting a false positive test is high. The OP can get tested again in a few months time just to make sure.

Flippyfloppy · 17-06-2015 04:07PM

Augme wrote: »

But you're not being cavalier with someone else's feelings or emotions. The wife still thinks OP is a great guy and her feelings and emotions towards him are exactly the same as they were before they slept together. There is a slight health risk but there are ways of eliminating that risk without the wife knowing.

What are the chances the OP and the woman he slept with both getting false positive tests? Lets be honest it's pretty slim. And if it's higher then the chance of the wife getting a false positive test is high. The OP can get tested again in a few months time just to make sure.

Please tell, how can the risk be eliminated?

LegacyUser · 17-06-2015 04:22PM

Augme wrote: »

But you're not being cavalier with someone else's feelings or emotions. The wife still thinks OP is a great guy and her feelings and emotions towards him are exactly the same as they were before they slept together. There is a slight health risk but there are ways of eliminating that risk without the wife knowing.

The OP went looking for someone to have sex with so clearly his relationship with his wife has issues that he is ignoring or thinks will magically fix themselves without him doing anything. He thinks he can sweep this under the rug and it will all be fine but it's not fine otherwise he wouldn't have gone looking for sex in the first place. How can the OP know this won't happen again? Yes he's got a scare with this pregnancy claim but whatever his original issue that sent him online looking for no strings sex hasn't been addressed.

Augme wrote: »

What are the chances the OP and the woman he slept with both getting false positive tests? Lets be honest it's pretty slim. And if it's higher then the chance of the wife getting a false positive test is high. The OP can get tested again in a few months time just to make sure.

He could be a carrier for an STI and not actual develop an infection but his wife could that is why she needs to be tested as well.

No matter what the OP does or says now this isn't something he can just magic away. Even if this other woman winds up not being pregnant and disappears the reality is the OP who claims to love his wife went online to find someone for sex and it wasn't just curiosity cus he went through with it and slept with another woman so he needs to get his head out of his ass and start acting like a grown for the child he claims to love.

Augme · 17-06-2015 05:13PM

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

Please tell, how can the risk be eliminated?

By having the OP get himself tested and the women he slept with a few times. If after that they both come up clean then I have no idea how it would be possible for the wife to be infected.

tinz18 · 17-06-2015 05:25PM

That's assuming they test negative. But if one or both test positive, he's potentially depriving his wife of weeks of treatment. With certain STIs including chlamydia the longer you leave them untreated the more permanent damage can be wreaked. Also has any thought been given to how he's going to explain to his wife why he won't have sex with her in the weeks it takes for the results to come back (presuming they have sex)?

Flippyfloppy · 17-06-2015 05:53PM

Augme wrote: »

By having the OP get himself tested and the women he slept with a few times. If after that they both come up clean then I have no idea how it would be possible for the wife to be infected.

That's not eliminating the risk. To eliminate it he would have to go back in time and not have unprotected sex. Or get his wife to take precautionary prescribed treatment.

_Whimsical_ · 17-06-2015 11:28PM

This has come into my mind several times today. It strikes me as incredibly odd that a woman that had only met the OP once for no strings attached sex would contact him and tell him she's 2 weeks pregnant if she fully intends raising the child as if it were her husbands. Why would she jeopardise that by telling the OP at all , he's a virtual stranger?

It seems pretty weird to me. I think she's winding you up OP, or maybe you're winding us up, but something seems off here unless she's one very, very strange woman.

LegacyUser · 18-06-2015 12:47AM

You cheated on your wife with another married woman. She has now told you she is 2 weeks pregnant. You don't want her to have this child. Meanwhile she told you she is separated from her husband but they are still living together.

You need to consider the following
a) She told you that you are the child's father. The father of this child might have nothing but meanwhile she knows you are financially secure.
b) She is lying about you been pregnant. Several people here have told you how easy this is to do.
c) She might have told you I am pregnant to get money from you for a termination when this is not the case.

The reality at this stage you need to get an sti check. You need to tell your wife what happened so she can do the same. At about 10 weeks you can get a blood dna test for you and your pregnant fling to see if this child is yours. You can't expect her to pretend if she is pregnant that this child is her husbands.
If she decides to pass this baby off as her husbands it will come out at some stage if this child is not his.

In your post your are not willing to accept the mistake you made in getting involved on a dating site despite the fact you are married. You had sex with a woman your barely know and along with this you did not use a condom. You were not only having sex with her but you have no idea of her sexual past. She could have a sti and not know this.
You are asking how can you get through all this with out your wife finding out. The reality is you can't. At this stage it is time you man up and start to work on repairing the mess you now find yourself in.

Kev W · 19-06-2015 09:27AM

Just because it can't really be said enough:

OP, you MUST get your wife to get an STI check. If you care about her as much as you claim then her health MUST be more important to you than anything.

daisybelle2008 · 19-06-2015 01:41PM

introuble2016 wrote: »

Im no saint and cant justify my actions but I am trying to salvage this situation not for me but for my wife and child. This was a once off and it kills me to think of the hurt I will cause others by my stupidity.
.......surely I could articulate the madness and irresponsibility of bringing an unwanted baby into the world that will cause so much hurt to so many people, especially as we barely know each other and have only met once.

The problem with you trying to articulate is your objective is to cover up and deceive your wife not to truly 'protect' your wife, it is to cover up your deceit. So that weakens your argument. I mean that objectively. Why not tell your wife and let her argue your position with the woman? That might bring some integrity to the situation. She might feel sorry for the little pickle you have got yourself into and put this woman straight on why it's a bad idea to make you have to deal with it. :rolleyes:

dellas1979 · 19-06-2015 07:25PM

It is most certainly possible to show a positive urine pregnancy on the 28th day, if conception was 7-14 days before.

Did you use any contraception at all?

Your view on "protecting your wife and child" is warped, and self indulgent, and wrong.

I pretty sure she can protect herself and the child, if she has the truth.

Taboola · 19-06-2015 08:07PM

dellas1979 wrote: »

It is most certainly possible to show a positive urine pregnancy on the 28th day, if conception was 7-14 days before.

Did you use any contraception at all?

Your view on "protecting your wife and child" is warped, and self indulgent, and wrong.

I pretty sure she can protect herself and the child, if she has the truth.

It's certainly possible but who does a pregnancy test that quickly unless they are trying to get pregnant?

dellas1979 · 19-06-2015 08:14PM

Taboola wrote: »

It's certainly possible but who does a pregnancy test that quickly unless they are trying to get pregnant?

Thats why was asking about the contraception (or looks like lack of).

sam34 · 19-06-2015 10:46PM

Taboola wrote: »

It's certainly possible but who does a pregnancy test that quickly unless they are trying to get pregnant?

If I really didn't want to get pregnant but I'd ended up having unprotected sex for some reason, I'd be doing a pregnancy test no later than midday on the day my period was due, if it hadn't started by then.

MistyCheese · 19-06-2015 11:27PM

sam34 wrote: »

If I really didn't want to get pregnant but I'd ended up having unprotected sex for some reason, I'd be doing a pregnancy test no later than midday on the day my period was due, if it hadn't started by then.

I agree. But it doesn't sound like this woman 'really didn't want to get pregnant.' She's happy to be having another child for her current children to play with.

19-06-2015 11:32PM

In all honesty, I sincerely doubt anyone is going to advise the OP on how to complete his goal, he likely won't take anything we say on board, and I'll be very surprised if he comes back to reply ..

Flippyfloppy · 19-06-2015 11:46PM

If this woman has two kids already you'd think she'd be wise to family planning, ovulation etc. I think it says something then that she chose to meet OP , presumably for sex, exactly when she would be ovulating. I mean, she had to have known she was ovulating then if she knew she was due her period two weeks later.

HardenendMan · 20-06-2015 12:41AM

I don't know what to advise. If I had a magic wand to fix it I don't think I'd give it to you.

coopdog85 · 20-06-2015 09:07AM

introuble2016 wrote: »

shes only 2 weeks pregnant, why would I come clean so soon?

Why? Because you're a cheating bastard that's why. I hope your wife bins you pal cos you deserve it.

Mod Note:

User banned for a month for personal abuse.

MrWalsh · 20-06-2015 10:12AM

sam34 wrote: »

If I really didn't want to get pregnant but I'd ended up having unprotected sex for some reason, I'd be doing a pregnancy test no later than midday on the day my period was due, if it hadn't started by then.

Would you not be taking the morning after pill at the first opportunity after the unprotected sex?

Taltos · 20-06-2015 10:23AM

And I think we're done here with more and more posts getting into discussions not to mention the large volume of judgemental posts we've had to remove.

Best of luck OP, hope you're closer to coming to terms with this no matter how it works out.

WORST NIGHTMARE - PLEASE HELP

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